Chapter 29
Ainsley
Present
“I’m sorry, let’s back up to the part where you fucked Landon Fletcher.”
Evan covers his ears with his hands. “Really don’t need to hear this.”
I roll my eyes. “Focus, Ivori. Jayden’s mom is running her mouth all over town. I’m worried about what might happen to my job.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she says, pulling her legs onto the couch.
“Teachers have been fired for less.”
Evan nods. “If she makes enough of a stink, the district will want to appease her.”
I groan, slumping back against the couch. “Why can’t people just love their children regardless of who they are?”
“Because the world is full of close-minded assholes.” Ivori lifts her beer to her lips and pauses. “What did Harrison say when you left his office?”
“He said he’d be in touch once he spoke to the higher-ups.” I clutch my stomach. “I want to puke. I feel like I’m waiting for a verdict in court.”
“Have you checked the handbook for anything like this?” Evan asks.
I nod. “The wording is vague. It’s mostly about the use of social media. I guess every case is different.”
“Call the union president first thing in the morning.” Ivori taps her nails against the glass bottle. “She’ll know best, and be able to protect you if anything goes down.”
Nerves have been eating away at me since the showdown with Jayden’s mom yesterday.
I know in my heart that I didn’t do anything wrong, or persuade Jayden one way or another.
But when it comes to teachers, things don’t usually end in our favor.
It’s labeled a scandal, and the media eats us alive without knowing what truly happened.
Everyone judges.
No one knows what it’s like to walk a day in our shoes.
Evan heaves a sigh. “You put Jayden first, which is what any good coach would do. If you turned him away, or made him feel bad about this, who knows what could have happened to him.”
Ivori nods. “Do you think he’s in danger of hurting himself?”
“I don’t know.” I frown. “I can’t imagine what horrible things his parents are saying to him behind closed doors.”
“And I doubt his mother will let him back on the team,” Evan adds.
“He has to go to school though.” I lift my phone off the coffee table and shoot a text to Landon. “I’ll tell Landon to ask the girls to check in on him. He’ll need her friends.”
Ivori’s foot bounces like a hyperactive dog. “Now can we talk about the part where you fucked Landon Fletcher?”
Evan pushes off the couch and drains the rest of his water. “I’m out.”
I smack him in the ass with a pillow. “What’s wrong, you prude? It’s just sex.”
“You guys are like my sisters. Plus, I don’t want to look Landon in the eye after hearing every explicit detail about what his dick looks like.” He shudders. “Thanks, but I’ll pass.”
“It’s really big.” I waggle my eyebrows. “And a decent girth. Seriously, I couldn’t walk right the next day.”
“Jesus Christ.” Evan sticks his fingers in his ears as he walks out onto the porch. “Fuck you both.”
Ivori and I cackle as he slams the front door shut.
“Was it really big?” Ivori scoots closer to me like we’re in high school all over again, whispering secrets in our bedroom so our parents don’t hear. “He gives off subtle big dick energy.”
I laugh. “It was perfect. A solid six inches, and God, does he know how to use it.”
Ivori squeals. “How do you feel? Now that it’s over and you have to see him every day. I know that’s new territory for you.”
“I don’t know. It feels...normal. Like, it’s Landon. I’ve known him since we were kids. I thought it’d be weird, but it wasn’t.”
Ivori clutches her chest. “This is really good, Ainsley. I’m happy for you.”
I pull a decorative pillow onto my lap. “It just feels like whenever things are going good, something bad has to happen.”
She frowns. “You mean with Jayden’s mom?”
I nod, chewing on my bottom lip. “Dude, what if I get fired?”
“You can’t get fired over this. You didn’t do anything.”
I’m not so sure.
Glancing at the time on my phone, I heave a sigh. “I’m going to head out soon. I want to stop by Landon’s to drop off some groceries.”
“How’s Marie doing?”
“Better.” I pick at the skin on my thumb. “She hit her head pretty good but she’ll heal.”
“Aren’t there medications she can take to help her manage her symptoms?”
“I’ve been researching it, and it looks like there is. But I’m sure there are side-effects, like with all medications.”
“Some of those commercials are terrifying. We’ll cure your IBS but you might lose a limb.” Ivori’s eyes widen as she raises her thumb in the air. “Uh, cool...?”
“I know, it’s scary. But everyone reacts to meds differently, so it might help her in the end.”
The topic of medication reminds me that Landon said he’s on medication for his anxiety. I swipe open my phone to text him.
Me
Does your medication come with any side effects?
Landon
My anxiety meds? They come with a slew of side effects, but I don’t have any of them...
Why do you ask?
Me
I just remembered that you mentioned you were on something, and I was curious
Landon
I was worried because one of the side effects is not being able to have an orgasm...that would’ve sucked
Me
I don’t think you’re having any trouble in that department
Actually, I should come over and double-check...just to make sure
Landon
lmao you’re insatiable, woman
Me
You love it
Landon
I do
What time?
Me
In about 30
Btw I told Ivori you have a big dick...she said you give off BDE
Landon
Good to know
Wait, you said that in front of Evan?
Me
Sure did.
Landon
Me
It’s fine. You should be proud of that thing. Show it off.
Wait...on second thought, don’t do that. Don’t show it to anyone.
Landon
Someone feeling jealous?
Me
Hey, I’m just looking out for you. If the LAX moms know what you’re packing, you’ll have to beat them off you with a stick
Landon
It’s okay to admit that you’re jealous, babe
I like you that way
Heat crawls into my cheeks.
“Are you blushing?” Ivori’s mouth falls open. “Oh, my god. Ainsley Morgan is blushing!”
I roll my eyes. “Pfft. Am not. It’s just warm in here. It’s the alcohol.”
“Uh-huh.” She grins, as I stand up and swipe my car keys from the entryway table.
When I swing open the door, she shouts, “Ainsley Morgan is blushing, everyone!”
“Shut up!” I shove her back inside her house.
She leans in and pecks my cheek. “Happiness looks good on you, friend.”
Now I’m most definitely blushing.
Landon’s eyes widen when he opens his front door.
“What is all this?”
“Groceries. Move.” I step into his house, three bags dangling from each forearm.
“You should’ve texted me. I would’ve gotten them out of your Jeep.” Landon takes an arm’s worth of bags and carries them into the kitchen.
“I live alone. I don’t need help carrying my groceries.” I hoist the bags on the counter and smile at Marie, who’s sitting at the island. “Hi, Marie.”
“Hi, sweetheart.” She wags a stern finger at me. “You did not need to do all this.”
I hike a shoulder. “This is for purely selfish reasons. I want Landon to make me his infamous spaghetti and meatballs.”
He chuckles, pulling out the cans of tomatoes along with the basil plant from the bags. “I haven’t made that in ages.”
“Then it’s a good thing I got all these groceries. We don’t want you to forget how to make it. If you don’t use it, you lose it, they say.”
Leaning in, he presses a kiss to my temple. “Does that apply to everything?”
I shiver, his low gravelly voice sending goosebumps flying down my arms.
Then I freeze, my eyes flying to Marie.
She’s watching us with a sly smirk curving her lips.
“Relax, she knows.” Landon turns back to the bags, and continues to unload the contents onto the countertop.
Marie knows what, exactly?
That I fucked her son...in her house?
Hopefully Landon skipped all the colorful details.
Marie rises from the quartz island. “Come with me, Ainsley. Let’s go sit outside and talk.”
I swallow and clear my throat. “Of course.”
Landon shoots me a wink as I follow his mother outside, leaving him to the food in the kitchen.
A light breeze rustles the new leaves on the trees. There’s still a chill in the air, but the sun sets a bit later than it has with the promise of warmer weather on the horizon.
Marie and I lean back in matching Adirondack chairs.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“I have a mild headache, but the doctor said that’s to be expected.” She slips her fingers around her mug and lifts her tea to her lips. “How are you? Landon explained what’s going on at school.”
“I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen. I hope it all blows over, and Mrs. Morales realizes her energy is better spent on helping her daughter navigate what she’s going through.”
Marie’s eyebrows droop. “I feel sorry for Jayden. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like that by her own mother.”
I nod. “Not everyone was lucky enough to have a mom like you.”
She reaches out and covers my hand with hers. “I’m so glad you and Landon are back in each other’s lives. I wanted to reach out to you so many times after your father passed, but I didn’t know how it’d make you feel.”
“Please, don’t worry about that. It’s all water under the bridge now.”
“Landon was worried you wouldn’t forgive him,” she says.
I glance down at my hands in my lap. “I didn’t know he’d already forgiven me. I thought he’d hate me forever.”
“Pfft.” Marie chuckles. “That boy doesn’t have hate in his heart. Not for anyone but his father. Certainly not you.” She pauses as her eyes bounce between mine. “He cared for you very much.”
I chew on my bottom lip, glancing back at the house. “I did too.”
“I think it’s fantastic that you’re giving each other a second chance now.”
A light chuckle bubbles out of me. “I’m not sure what I’m doing. This is all strange in an ironic way.”
“Life is funny like that.” She lowers her voice as she speaks. “My son is too humble to tell you this, you know, but he donated to your father’s fundraiser every year.”
My eyes narrow. “What?”
Marie smiles. “Since the day you created the run, he’s been donating to the cause.”
My mouth falls open as my heart stutters in my chest. “But I created the fundraiser...”
“Seventeen years ago.”
For seventeen years, I’ve thought Landon Fletcher hated me. I’ve assumed he didn’t think of me once he left.
But for seventeen years, he has thought of me. Enough to send money for my father’s memory. Something he knew was important to me.
I blink, swallowing past the dry lump of sand in my throat. “He didn’t come to the funeral. I didn’t even think he knew about the fundraiser.”
“He felt terrible with the way he treated you before he left for college. It took him a long time to stop beating himself up about it.” She pauses, her eyes welling before she continues.
“Thank you for looking out for him. I’ve never said it to you before, but I’ve always appreciated the way you stood up for him.
I hate myself for the things I put him through back then.
And now...” She blinks up to the sky. “He’s always taking care of me. ”
I sit forward and wrap my arms around her, swallowing the emotion lodged like a ball in my throat. “You did the best you could with what you were given. It wasn’t easy for you either.”
“But he’s my son. I was supposed to protect him. Not the other way around.”
I pull back and point to the house. “That man in there? He loves you more than anything in this world, and he would do it all over again if it meant you’d be where you are now, away from that monster who hurt you. That’s what family does for each other.”
Marie sniffles and cups my face with both hands. “I hope you consider me family. I know you feel like you don’t have any, but family isn’t always bound by blood. We’re bound by the love of the people who show up for us and have our backs.”
My bottom lip trembles. “The truth is, I wanted to reach out to you too. I wanted to check on you, and make sure you were okay. I should have.”
Marie shakes her head. “No, you had your own life to worry about.” She smiles as a tear rolls down her cheek. “And look at you now, this beautiful, strong woman.”
I don’t feel strong. At least, it wasn’t my choice to be. I lost my mother at a young age, and then I lost my dad. Life turned me into this hardened version of my former self, and I don’t know how to be any other way. I’ve been alone for so long, I got used to it.
But when I look at Landon, I don’t see a cold, lonely man. He’s been through some of the worst things life has to offer, yet it hasn’t turned him into steel.
What if I can’t change?
What if I can’t be with him the way he wants me to be?
What if I’m just...broken?