Chapter 20
JARED
“What’s up?” I ask, in no mood for jokes, especially not banter between the two of them where she’s smiling at him the way she smiles at me.
He drops the grin. “Me and Joel sat down with our librarian. The three of us dug in on a fact-finding mission this morning, getting information from shifter archives about your old pack, including census information about you.”
“And?”
“Your pack was dissolved when your alpha was killed.”
I wait for him to continue.
“Not what usually happens after an alpha dies as we all know. But most of his betas were dead, too, and nobody left wanted to take over under the circumstances. They were all too scared because of what’d happened to the alpha and his lead betas.”
I don’t react. I feel detached from this conversation even though it’s my old pack, some of my relatives he’s talking about.
Linc says, “The deaths occurred over a three-day period. The SCC was called in after that. They did a full investigation and a pile of interviews. One interview stood out, one from Olivia Stone.”
I frown as a strange sensation settles in me. “My first cousin. Dad’s side. His and our alpha’s younger brother’s daughter.” Olivia was two or three years older than me. I haven’t even thought of her in years.
“Her interview said you shifted and your wolf killed the alpha in front of the whole pack after he punished your sister for burning food. She said you had been pushed to the brink with his abuse. Your wolf killed the alpha and took off.”
I don’t know whether to feel happy or livid. I have no memory of this.
“She said your wolf came back and went after his two closest betas, took them out the next night. Following night you came back and killed three more.”
“So, I killed all of them? My family included?”
“You don’t remember that night? Killing your alpha? The next night with the betas?”
I shake my head.
“Trauma block,” Linc puts in.
Maybe. I don’t know.
Linc goes on. “After that, you left. Is it possible they killed your family instead of you? Is it possible since you shifted and had no memory of any of it, you thought you killed your mother and sister, when really, it was them?”
I frown.
“Want your permission to put another call into Blakely to ask him for the official SCC file notes on your pack. Archives have limited information. Joel’s running a program to find out what happened to the forty or so remaining pack members.
We’ll know more later on today. Wanted to get you the news I had as soon as I had some. ”
“Okay,” I say.
“There’s something else,” Linc says.
I wait.
“Joel already got word back on a record search of the global wolf shifter justice system for any hits on your name, any outstanding warrants. Nothing on that but two hits on the prison system. Two members from your old pack are listed as incarcerated. One of them is your father.”
My body locks tight as his words penetrate.
“Only alphas have access to those records, so we had no problem running a search on your surname, but we hit a dead end on the details.”
“I was told he was dead. That he died on a mission to find out who stole goods from us. He was investigating a pack in Wyoming and Uncle Mike said they caught him and killed him.”
“Records have him listed as in prison. Want your permission to ask Mitch Blakely to get us more information.”
I wince.
Linc adds, “Blakely has a blemished record with us because of Riley and Erica, but he was helpful with Silver Hills and with a major issue when Mase mated. I believe he’s on our side.”
“He finds out what I am, I’ll end up incarcerated. Or destroyed. And maybe that’s the answer.”
“Don’t fuckin’ think that for a second, Jared. We’re nowhere near exhausting all the options. One option, too, is to have Ronnie Young or Grey lay hands on your wolf when you’re shifted, glean some information there.”
I scoff.
He goes on, “Speaking of which, Catrina Savage has asked to do a full workup on you in both your forms. Cat says the experimental drug Blakely sent over to help the Silver Hills shifters be able to shift again could help bridge a broken connection between a shifter and his wolf.”
“No way.”
“It can be done in a secure location. It’s not without risk, though. Bridging you to a wolf that’s unbalanced could mess with your balance in this form. Your disconnect might be out of protection from your memories.”
“Fuck.” Like my wolf is sentient enough to protect me? Is that even possible?
“We trust her, Jared. Without question. This is Ty’s mother.”
“I met her in Silver Hills, remember?”
“It’s not without risk so I’m not pressuring you.
I’m just giving you the information I have so far.
We’ll keep digging. You have the full backing of this council.
And the coven. With the weight and power of Grey and Erica as well as Erica’s sisters in the mix, I think we can help.
Good chance we can find a safer way forward. ”
He waits for me to say something and when I don’t, he adds, “None of this relaxes you even a bit.”
“Nope.”
“It’s okay to hope.”
“It’s dangerous to hope,” I correct.
“Yet you’re in there with her. And you were in town at her place last night.”
“Because the pull is so fucking strong,” I fire back.
“So I hear.”
I let out a long breath. “I appreciate you. I just…” I run my hand through my hair and search for words.
“It’s all right. You don’t need to say anything else.”
Grinding my molars, I turn to go back in.
“Later, bro,” Linc adds.
“You good?” I stop and ask. “Beyond this shit with me?”
“Will be soon, I suspect. Jase hasn’t claimed his mate yet. He’s identified her but no telling how long this’ll take. Once he does, it’s my turn. And I’m definitely curious about how it’ll go.”
“Why hasn’t he claimed her? Same sitch as Brody?”
Brody Savage is holding out because his mate was badly abused. I’m sure it’s taking everything in his power to stop himself. I don’t know how he’s stopping himself, really.
“No. Long story, but…”
“Not my business. I don’t need to know,” I say.
“I do!” Cicely calls from inside.
A smile cracks my face. Linc laughs and calls out, “Bailey is trying to reject Jase. Have her fill you in. Your mate needs me to fuck off.”
The door flies open. “Seriously?”
I shoot her a look and get between them. “No, woman. I really do need him to fuck off. Sorry Linc.”
“Not offended at all. I’ll let you get to your breakfast. Smells good.” Linc says. “We’ll figure it out.” He slaps my shoulder before he walks back to his truck.
I watch him until he pulls away.
She’s watching, too.
I back her inside. She looks annoyed, but she moves back to the stove. “Just gotta do eggs and toast. I’m calling Bailey, though.”
“Fine, I’ll just wither away while you get your gossip,” I make a sad attempt at a joke.
She smirks while she dials on her phone on speaker. It goes to voicemail.
“Shit,” she mutters and ends the call before she pushes the button on the toaster.
A few minutes later, we’re sitting at the table together with plates of food.
But while the flavors are just the same as the last time she made it, each bite lands like a rock in my gut.
I only get a few bites into me. I can’t do this. I’m sitting here seething. I should run. Shift and run. But I don’t think I can get far enough. So, for now, I’ll just have to lock down and shift.
“I need to shift,” I mutter, grabbing the contraption for my face and putting it into place while moving outside.
She follows.
“Do not fuckin’ follow me, woman, not when I tell you I need to shift and especially not without the weapons in your hands!” I get into the bunker but she’s still on my fucking heels.
“Stop!” I shout. “I need to lock myself down, and shift.”
She stops in the doorway.
“Are you upset about the stuff he said about your pack? About your father? Because I heard every word. You wanna talk?”
“Go back inside.”
“Jared…”
“Back off!”
“You can talk to me.”
“You cook for him?” I demand.
“Huh?”
“You make that same breakfast for him after he fucked you?”
She rears back, realization hitting her face.
And I’m trembling while fumbling the last strap onto my face as cold shocks my system.
I attempt to box-breathe, but it doesn’t halt the visions from coming. Images of him fucking her. Visions of her feeding him those perfectly crisped potatoes from her dainty fingers hits my brain and the cold shunts in.
Fuck!
Now I see Uncle Mike. With my sister cowering as he backhands her. A flash of Linc’s wolf nuzzling Cicely’s wolf’s face hits me next before it flashes to the sight of my mother’s bloody and mangled form lying on the floor by the wood stove.
“Jared, no… I…”
“Why can’t you fucking back off when I tell you to FUCKING BACK OFF?” I roar, lunging toward her.
And fear hits her face as she flinches at my body language and takes a step back.
My last thought before everything goes black is one of absolute self-loathing. I fucking hate everything I am.
21
CICELY
He shifts, shorts falling to pool at his back legs. Shit! His wolf’s lips peel back immediately to reveal those giant teeth, a growl erupting from him as he lunges to attack.
My instinct has me backing up, but I trip and fall to my back on the ground just outside the bunker door.
No. Shit. Fuck!
My mate’s snarling, angry wolf looms over me.
It’s like I’m mated to the Incredible Hulk. One minute, he’s the frustrated and jealous alpha and the next minute, he’s this monster.
The monster growls, those yellow eyes full of anger and menace. His face gets just inches from mine and he paws at the mask, wanting it off, and it results in him headbutting me.
“Ow. Jared. JaredJaredJared,” I plead through the pain as I recover from the blow, “it’s me, it’s me. Your mate. Please… hear … hear me. Smell me. Take in my scent. You know me. You don’t want to hurt me, baby.”
I reach out, extending my hand, hoping he’ll sniff it, but he goes even crazier and claws rips across my hand and my chest, burning with pain as my skin is ripped open.
Oh shit, he’s going to use his razor-sharp claws to rip me apart.
And like blood in the water to a shark, his eyes narrow as he noses the wound on my hand.
If that thing on his face wasn’t holding his mouth shut, he’d absolutely tear in with his teeth.
He’s growling louder, drool dripping on me.
I flip over and turtle and I’m just about to reach for my shirt to pull it off and shift so I can run, thinking maybe I can run fast and get to the river, but pain rips across my back.
I hear a car, car doors slamming, and now there’s whistling and shouting.
“Oy!” Cade, one of our alphas hollers from behind the camper where he’s pulled up in his car. Clinton, an older beta and good friend of Dad’s is coming up behind him, whistling loudly with his thumb and third finger in his mouth.
“Come at me, dawg!” Cade dares, widening his stance.
Jared’s wolf pretty much tramples me to run for him, claws ripping across my back again.
I scramble to my feet, shouting, “Cade! Don’t hurt him!”
Both Cade and Clinton have weapons trained on Jared’s wolf.
Jared’s wolf snarls at them.
“Get inside that building, Cicely!” Cade shouts.
Jared’s wolf turns and trains his gaze on me and sprints in my direction again. I back into the bunker and close the gate.
He growls at me.
Those guys are coming in from behind.
There’s no recognition in my mate’s wolf’s eyes whatsoever. He keeps growling and if the gate weren’t between us he’d resume his task of ripping me apart by any means necessary.
They zap him and he drops. Clinton zaps him again and he’s convulsing now.
“Hey!” I shout. “Don’t overfucking do it!”
“Making sure, Cicely,” Clinton reasons.
“No! Do not use more force than necessary. That’s my mate you just unnecessarily attacked!”
Clinton looks at me like I’m bonkers. “He was gonna kill you, kiddo.”
I growl in frustration. “Be careful!”
***
Two minutes later, I hear brakes squeal. Shit. Dad.
He takes one look at me and looks like he wants to murder someone, namely the unconscious wolf shifter they’re dragging into the bunker.