Chapter 31
JARED
I’m back inside my mate and she shifts so we’re both in the same shape – human-shaped. I wasn’t lucid as my wolf, but I felt him in the mix while shifting each time. It felt strange. It felt foreign. But familiar.
Now, I feel Cicely, warm, satisfied, glowing with both inner and outer beauty.
We’re in the grass, not far from our campfire, which is now just embers.
The muzzle is on my left. The torn toolbelt, her bracelet, the taser, and stun gun, along with our shoes and remnants of our clothes surrounding us.
And the moon still has a yellow hue, but the color is dimming.
She looks at me.
I stare into her eyes.
“Did we turn a corner?” she asks.
“I don’t know. I don’t feel him now, but I did. I think he felt me, too.”
But will any of that make a difference or was this a one-off? Was it just the moon?
“That was the scariest thing I’ve ever dealt with. And… it was also the most mind-blowing sexual experience of my life.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, holding her face. Her skin is still burning hot with her heat. She’s never been more breathtakingly beautiful.
“Is it over for tonight?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I say.
I could slide inside her again. But is that tempting fate?
“I think I should go to the bunker. Restrain myself.”
She frowns.
“I don’t know if we got off lucky or if… if things are different. I just can’t risk hurting you.”
She looks hurt right now. But she gets to her feet and dusts her legs off.
“I need to shower. I’m all…” She looks down.
Her thighs are wet. With semen. Semen from me and from my wolf.
“You came in me repeatedly in both forms. Both of your forms in both of mine. What does that mean? He licked my mate mark, too. He knows who I am to you now. Do you… do we… did we make a baby tonight?”
I saw and felt both forms of hers. Both forms belong to me. And him. I could become a father.
“I need to lock myself down, beautiful. I’m sorry… I just… don’t know if he’ll come back.”
I kiss her and strap the muzzle on. I must have shifted before I got it fastened last time. Thank fuck she’s still whole.
She looks disappointed, but she nods.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” I grab her hand and squeeze it.
I turn to go, but she calls out, “Jared?”
I face her.
“I love you,” she says.
She’s standing in front of me, illuminated by moonlight, crying.
I have no choice but to take the muzzle off so I can pull her close and kiss her again. Hold her close. Fill my lungs with her.
And I’m suddenly purring again while she’s burrowing into my chest. Purring like I’ve done it every day since I met her. Like I’m supposed to be able to do.
Fuck. It feels monumental. My wolf didn’t just share her with me; it gave me the ability to purr for her. A gift – to us both.
But I feel like I’m tempting Fate by standing here too long.
I break our embrace and say, “I love you, Cicely Stone.”
Her eyes fill with more emotion. Her love for me radiates from her. How did I get so lucky?
I keep talking. “I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone or anything. I wish I could sleep beside you tonight. Every night. I want babies with you. As many as you can give me. And I hope we made a healthy one tonight, hope somehow this is a miracle that we’ve both been hoping for.
But we can’t risk it without knowing more.
I’ll see you in the morning.” I kiss her plush lips again, kiss the mate mark, and pull the muzzle back on, strapping it up quickly as I head to the bunker, leaving the outside door open but closing the gate and locking it.
Not long after I’ve got myself restrained, she rattles the bars.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Let me in,” she demands.
“Babe…”
“Let me in!”
She’s got two pillows and the comforter from our bed. She’s showered and dressed in a tracksuit. She also brought me a bottle of water.
“Where are the weapons?” I ask.
“In the blanket. I’m not sleeping alone,” she tells me. “Don’t even think about arguing. Wear the restraints and the mask if you want to.”
I sigh and reach for the keys. And I’m worried about it because now that I’ve felt my wolf, I feel strange, like he might be watching, lying in wait.
I let her in and shut the barred door, leaving the outer door open to let air in. It starts raining again. Hard. And it smells good – like it’s doing a cleansing of sorts.
She follows me to the sleeping bag and rearranges it before she drops the pillows on it and spreads the comforter on top. She stops and straightens it, looking at it with a strange expression before she fixes the pillows again. She looks annoyed.
And clarity hits. If we were in her apartment right now, my in-heat mate would be making a nest for us with her hundred plus cushions.
I sit and I open my arms wide.
Her chin trembles like she’s about to burst into tears, but she gets a lock on it and climbs on top of me. I wrap my arms around her and take in her scent. She’s definitely still in heat.
And my dick is hard again.
She notices.
I’m nude. I had grabbed my shorts from the ground on the way in, but never bothered to put them on.
She backs up, shimmies out of her trackpants and climbs onto me again, guiding me inside.
I’m wearing the muzzle, so kissing is off the table, but touching her, fucking her isn’t.
So that’s what I do, hoping my wolf stays back and doesn’t force in again.
She’s wearing her bracelet, and the weapons are close.
And we fuck for a long time without either of us shifting before she falls asleep, conking out just after my knot releases for the third time.
We’re snuggled up in our mess that smells like her, and I play with her hair, purring as the sky lightens with the rising of the sun.
Have we turned a corner? Fuck, I hope so.