33. Waiting for the Punchline – Sihn
CHAPTER 33
WAITING FOR THE PUNCHLINE
SIHN
I had to wait three days. Her father said to come back in three days when she was rested. I’m surprised he even gave me a date to come back. He strikes me as the type to not like a guy like me. Hell, I wouldn’t like a guy like me if I was a dad either.
What is wrong with me?! Thinking about being a dad. I have never, not once, wanted a child.
I’m nervous as I get ready to see her for the first time in three days. I hope her father told her that he shot down my attempt to see her.
After pulling on cargo shorts and the Coffey Cafe shirt Mar wore months ago, I apply my favorite cologne.
I grab my keys that hang next to the door and head for Mar’s parents’ place.
Over the past three days, I’ve picked up a shit ton of Dine on Demand shifts and searched the internet for jobs that I have the skill set for. I applied to a few factories even though that’s not what I want to do. They’re really the only options close to River Falls until I can figure something else out.
I plan to talk to Mar about how I have an interview for one of the factories later this week. I don’t want to lose her just because I’m struggling to get my shit together.
The trip to her house is short and uneventful. I park in the driveway, and I’m surprised when I’m greeted on the porch by an older version of Mar. A tall shapely woman dressed in white trousers and a blue dress shirt.
“Hello, I was just going to knock. I’m here to see Mar.”
“Ellory said a boy matching your description might be stopping by. Amarynth is inside. I’m unsure if you’re good for her or not, but since you’re here, come on in.”
I take a few steps up from the sidewalk to the porch and enter the house.
“I’m Pauline, but you can call me Paul. Everyone else does.”
I don’t know if she knows I’ve been here before or not, so I say, “You have a lovely home, Paul.”
“Isn’t it? Ellory and I worked hard to provide a nice life for Amarynth growing up. Even though she’s now an adult, she still seems to give us a scare with new food allergy funny business.” She stands quiet for a minute and then continues, “We were out of town. Verdi called us, and we caught the first flight back. It’s nice to know we will always be able to catch a flight back, I guess.” She gestures down the hall. “She’s on the patio off the side of the kitchen. She’s been itching for some fresh air.”
There’s a screen door that’s open off from the kitchen where I see Mar snuggled up on a bench with a blanket and book. She doesn’t see me, so I stop and stare at her. Her lips pull in a smile, presumably at something she’s read. She’s a little paler than normal but looks healthy.
I clear my throat, unable to go another second without her noticing my presence.
She closes her book and places it in her lap on top of the blanket before looking up. She blinks several times before uttering, “Sihn.”
I smirk. “In the flesh.”
She looks around like maybe I’m a figment of her imagination. “How did you…why are you here?”
This woman. “What do you mean why am I here? I came and saw you at the hospital.”
“But then I didn’t hear from you…it’s been three days.”
I lean against the door frame, crossing my ankles. “I came by that night, but your dad said you needed to rest and told me to come back in three days, so here I am!” I give a big, toothy grin in her direction with my hands on my hips.
She huffs, “Well, if Dad were here, I would yell at him for not telling me. I’ve been waiting for you to call or text but received nothing. I thought you had taken me at my word and decided we needed to separate.”
I close the door to the porch to give us a little privacy from her mom in case she’s attempting to listen in on our conversation. She scoots to one side when I get near the bench. I sit next to her, moving as close as I can get to her without sitting on her and bring her feet up into my lap. I push the blanket to the side and rub her soft, smooth calves as I say, “About that…why is being with me while I’m working on myself such a bad thing?”
She shrugs, twirls a strand of hair around her finger, and says, “I guess I was just waiting for the punchline. I thought it was a joke. You couldn’t possibly want to be mine, not after you shared me with your best friend.” She pauses and continues, “Where do we go from here?”
I lean down and kiss the top of her knees one at a time. “I know it may seem superficial, but it isn’t. Not for me. If I’m honest, it never was.”
She shifts, and I pull her up onto my lap. “It broke my heart when you told me to run because you felt worthless. You mean so much to me, Sihn.”
“You mean so much to me, too. I love you. I even threw away the maple syrup I had in my cabinet so you’re safe to come over whenever you’d like.” I want her over every day, but I know she’s not ready for that, yet.
She straddles my lap and holds my cheeks in her hands as she searches my face for something. Maybe to see if I’m lying. I’m not.
I confess, “I fell in love with you the night on the couch when we watched porn.” I couldn’t believe this beautiful woman would indulge in something like that, for me.
She relaxes into me, allowing her weight to press into my lap. “What?”
I wrap my arms around her waist. “I fucking wanted to bottle that feeling up so bad. It was like I was looking at you with fresh eyes. You were willing to do that, for me.”
She circles her arms around my neck. “It was fun, but that’s not something I want to do all of the time. I don’t want to end up being some girl who’s shared around.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what is it that you want from me?”
I admit, “I want your love.” It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Someone to love me for me. Not that I don’t need to work on myself, but someone to love me through the pain of me putting in the work. Someone to better me. Mar makes me want to be a better person.
Surprisingly, she leans in and kisses me—sucking on my bottom lip and rubbing the back of my neck. There is so much passion behind her kiss. She ends it with a little moan. “You have to know that I am crazy toward you because I fucking love you. I cut people off so quickly. Not that you have to keep putting up with my crazy ass, but I do love you, too.”
Holding her close to me while looking in her eyes, I profess, “I need you to know that I am trying to get my shit together. I have to find a job and give wrestling up. Wrestling has been my life for so long that it’s fucking breaking my heart knowing I have to do something else. I knew eventually I would, but I was hoping to make it to forty before that. I do have an interview on Thursday, so we’ll see where that goes.”
“That’s great! I’m working on myself, too. I finished teaching the summer course, and I’m currently interning at River Falls Library to step in and be the librarian when Mrs. Wright retires.”
“Miriam?”
She nods.
“You’ll make the best librarian there ever was, Mar.”
“And you’ll figure something out. The interview on Thursday will either be great or you’ll figure out what you don’t want to do.” She kisses my forehead, and it is the best feeling. “Now, is it going to put a riff between your and Ruin’s friendship that, even though it was fun, I no longer want to participate?”
“He’ll be fine.”
“If you say so.”
“I do. He’s a grown man. He knew we were having fun. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like some more forehead kisses from you.”
She kisses around my forehead, both eyelids, across the bridge of my nose, from one side of my jawline to the other before placing a light kiss on my lips.
“I love you, Mar.”