13. Mina
Chapter thirteen
I know the moment the twins get home from school. Doors bang, and loud voices echo all the way up to my room.
“Honey, we’re home!” Max calls out, followed by quick footsteps that don’t stop until the twins are standing in my doorway, greeting me with matching smiles.
“There you are! Did you miss me, Sweetheart?” Max asks as he climbs onto my bed beside me, pulling me into one of those side hugs with a kiss to my temple.
“Always,” I reply with a smile as Jasper climbs in on my other side.
“Hi, Angel, did you have a good day?”
“Yeah, I helped Ben with one of his cases,” I say proudly.
“Oh?” Jasper asks, his surprised eyes jumping up to meet Max’s over my head before he looks back down at me and lets his expression relax. Is he surprised I could help him? “That’s good, we missed you at school today,” he says before pressing a kiss to my temple.
I internally groan, wishing they’d kiss me for real, like they did two days ago. I don’t know why they keep holding back, but I have a feeling it’s something to do with the fact that there are two of them and one of me. Well, there are actually seven of them if I am being a hundred percent honest with myself. Just because I haven’t kissed all of them, doesn’t mean I don’t want to.
And therein lies my problem. I don’t know how to choose between any of them. I hoped that by living with them, and getting to know them better, it would become obvious if one of them was interested in me as more than a friend. The problem is, I’m getting the tingles from all seven of my housemates. I could imagine myself being with any one of them, each of them is so different and gives me something I didn’t know I needed.
How am I supposed to choose? That’s assuming I have to, they might just be having fun and not want anything serious. Would I be okay with that? Considering everything that’s happened to me, I might not be ready for a relationship, anyway.
Kissing them is one thing… one very fun thing… but that doesn’t mean I’m ready for more. And maybe they know that, and it’s why they aren’t pushing me. It could be their way of helping me heal. But Dom’s words from two nights ago are playing on repeat in my head.
You’re our everything.
“What are we doing tonight?” Jasper asks, bringing my attention back to the two handsome men currently sitting beside me, holding my hands like it’s the most natural trying in the world.
“Please, anything but watching tv, I’m so bored,” I say, all but begging.
“Okay, how about a game?” Max suggests.
“Yes!” I say excitedly.
“Okay, what shall we play? Monopoly? Candyland…”
“Truth or dare!” I blurt out, remembering the first game we played over texts .
Immediately, my face heats as my eyes widen. I can’t believe I just said that!
Max quickly turns his head to look at me in surprise, then a smile spreads across his face. “Why, Sweetheart, you wouldn’t happen to be wanting a repeat of the last time we played, would you?” he asks, his voice taking on a low timber.
I swallow the lump that’s suddenly appeared in my throat as I avoid eye contact with him. My face is so hot, I must look like a tomato right now. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, playing ignorant.
“Hmm, sure you do. What do you say, Jasp? You in?”
“Definitely,” he says calmly, making me peel up at him. The heat in his eyes has me rubbing my legs together.
“Alright, Mina, you go first,” Max says as I move forward a bit so I can lie on my back. Max shifts down to lie on his side facing me, and Jasper mirrors him on my left.
“Truth or dare, Jasper,” I whisper.
“Truth.”
“What scares you?”
“A lot scares me, Angel. But my biggest fear is probably losing someone I love again.”
I turn my head to watch him and grip his hand with mine, as Max grips my other one.
“Losing our parents was rough. I think it brought Max and me even closer. I couldn’t imagine losing him. Or even living without him.”
“Yeah, man, that’s why we’re a package deal now,” Max adds. I turn to him and catch the end of a wink he gives his brother. What did he mean by that ?
“Mina, truth or dare?” Jasper asks, not giving me a chance to voice my question.
“Truth.”
“What is something you’ve always wanted but never had?”
I think about it for a minute. The list is pretty long. I want to say it’s to have someone love me, but I don’t want to talk about it with these two, or, if they don’t respond the way I hope, it could make things really awkward.
“A dog,” I say with a smile, thinking about all the dogs I’ve seen recently in real life and on tv. I’d love to have a dog to love me unconditionally while I take care of them.
“Really? I thought you’d be more of a cat person,” Jasper says thoughtfully.
“No, cats smell and shed. I’d want a hypoallergenic dog, not too big so I can pick them up if I needed to, but not too small that I’d worry about stepping on them.”
“I see you’ve thought a lot about this.”
I shrug in response, then turn to Max. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” he says with a smile.
“I dare you to steal Atlas’s phone and change his ringtone to ‘I’m Too Sexy,’” I tell him, giggling. It was one of the songs on the mp3 player he gave me and I loved it, I thought it was hilarious.
“Oh my god, you’re gonna get me killed!” he says, looking at me in horror.
“You don’t have to do it now, but within the next week, okay? Unless you want to bail on your dare?” I ask with a raise of my eyebrows, knowing he won’t want to back down .
“No, I’ll do it, within a week, scouts honor!” I nod at him. “Alright, trouble, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“What is your favorite thing about me?”
I start laughing. “Hmm, only one thing? I’d have to say…” I look him up and down. “You.”
“That’s not an answer,” he says, chastising me.
“But my favorite thing about you is you . I love your long brown hair, I love your beautiful green eyes, I love your…” I gulp and glance down the length of his body. “Body… I love the way you make me smile and laugh. I love the way you care about your family. But to name just one thing? Nope. Can’t do it,” I say, shaking my head.
He pushes himself up on his elbow and leans over me, gripping my chin lightly, and turning my gaze towards him. He gives me a heated look, then leans in and presses his lips to mine firmly. But he pulls back just as fast. “Your turn,” he whispers, his breath warm against my skin as he slowly lets go of my chin and takes my hand again, giving it a squeeze.
My pulse and breath quicken and I take a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down. Jasper offers me some water, which I sit up to drink, grateful for his help. That might have been the most I’ve spoken at once.
Feeling like I need a slight break in talking, I point to Jasper as they both join me in sitting up.
“Dare,” he says, narrowing his eyes at me.
“I dare you to kiss me,” I whisper quickly, squeezing my eyes shut. Why did I ask that? Stupid!
Suddenly, his lips are on mine, and my eyes shoot open. He moves his lips against mine, keeping them closed, but I still feel it down to my core .
I pant heavily as he pulls back and offers me another sip of my drink. He smirks at me as he asks, “truth or dare, Mina?”
“Hmm…” What could he possibly dare me to do from bed?
“Dare,” I answer without breaking eye contact, and a grin lights up his face.
“I dare you to show us how you were touching yourself the last time you played this game,” he says, licking his lips.
I gasp at the thought of doing that. He wants me to touch myself, right now, in front of them? I twist my head to look at Max, who wears an identical grin.
“Well?” he asks with an eyebrow raised. “You gonna do it, Sweetheart, or do you want to take a truth instead?”
He doesn’t think I’ll do it. I’m not sure I can either. I turn to stare up at the ceiling. I want to do the dare, but I’m scared. I’ve never been able to orgasm before, and last time I tried this over text with Max, I froze.
“I—” Before I can answer, Tucker and Gideon suddenly appear in the doorway, making me jump.
“Sorry, Love, didn’t mean to startle you,” Gideon says as he sits on the bed beside Max and leans over to give my arm a squeeze.
Tucker stands behind him, smiling at me. “What’s going on in here? You three look guilty.”
My face heats as I quickly reply, “nothing! Just playing a game.”
“Hmm…” He narrows his eyes and looks between us. “Well, Ben is bringing up dinner for all of us to eat in here tonight. We thought we’d watch more of The Office. Sound good?”
“Perfect,” I reply, not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed over not doing my dare.
The next morning, after the four of them have left for school, I find myself bored and lonely. Ben, Atlas and Dom work from home, but I find myself missing them. Dom slipped into my bedroom last night without a word, wrapping himself around me like he did that first night. I waited for him to say something, but I found myself drifting off to sleep before I could build up the courage to ask him to clarify what he has meant the other night.
Being left alone so much reminds me of being back at my old home. Sure, from the moment the twins get home from school, until they tell me it’s bedtime, I have at least two of them with me all evening. But throughout the night, I’m alone, and I’m constantly tossing and turning. Memories of my past abusers flashing in my head.
During the day, the flashbacks aren’t as bad, but it doesn’t stop my mind from wandering. As far as I know, they’re all still out there somewhere. Will they come looking for me? Will they be able to find me here? I hate to think of what they’d do if they found me here. That thought sends a shiver down my spine.
“Malishka?” I glance at the doorway and see Atlas frowning back at me. “What’s wrong?” he asks, as he comes and sits on the edge of my bed, taking my hand in his.
“Nothing,” I say with a shrug.
“You shivered, are you cold?” He rubs my hand between his as he waits for an answer .
“No, I’m fine,” I tell him as my eyes drop to look at his large hands surrounding my little one.
“Okay, do you need anything?”
Should I tell him that I’m lonely? That I need company to distract me? I don’t want him to think I’m pathetic.
“Malishka, tell me what you need,” he demands, obviously being able to see right through me.
“I…. was wondering if you would stay in here with me for a bit. I’m bored of tv and…”
“And?”
“And I miss you,” I tell him honestly.
He smiles at my response and brushes a finger down my cheek. “I’ve been home with you every day,” he tells me with a small smile.
“Yes, but you aren’t in here with me, you’re working. Will you tell me what your work is? What do you do all day?” I ask, feeling a little frustrated that they always skirt the subject.
“Well, I’m in security. I set up security systems and consult on the best ways to secure places, people, or things.”
I nod, at least he told me something this time. “How do you do that from home?”
“A lot of it involves research into what needs securing. Then I look into options for the best ways to do that.”
“What are you securing right now?”
He laughs a little as his eyes sweep over my face. “Right now, nothing. I can spend the day with you if you like?”
I beam at him and nod eagerly.
He settles on the bed beside me. “Well, what would you like to do? ”
Deciding that truth or dare is too dangerous to play with these guys anymore, I decide to go another route.
“I’d like to get to know you better. We could take turns asking each other questions?” I ask nervously, my fingers playing with my blanket.
He gives me a crooked grin. “Yeah? You want to know more about me, Malishka?”
I nod, and he smiles, gripping my hand. “Okay… favorite color?”
“Green… but pink is a close second now. You?”
“Blue.”
“Do you have any tattoos?” I’ve seen them peeking out from under his shirt, but I’m hoping he’ll open up and tell me about them.
“Want to see?” he asks, and I nod eagerly. He sits up and pulls his shirt off with one hand, making my mouth water at the sight of him. I forgot how huge he is.
“Wow,” I exclaim as my fingers trail over the eagle on his left chest. “It’s beautiful, does it have a story behind it?”
“Well, this eagle is in honor of my time served in the American army, and the initials here,” he says pointing to a small C.M. in the eagle’s wing, “is in memory of my comrade Carlos Mendoza, who died on a mission we were on together.”
“I’m so sorry you lost him, Atlas. I didn’t even know you were in the army.”
“Yes,” he says with a nod. “From when I was eighteen to twenty-three.
“Did you enjoy it?”
“I did. I was a bit lost at the time. My parents had passed years before and my grandmother was taking care of me. But she was getting old, and I didn’t want to burden her anymore. I didn’t have any skills, so I thought joining the military was my best choice.”
My big giant Atlas was truly a softie on the inside.
“Your accent, it’s Russian, right?”
“Yes, I was born there. Moved here when I was sixteen to live with my grandmother.”
“Where is she now?” I ask carefully.
“She’s in heaven now. The daisies here,” he says, pointing to an intricate tattoo that goes up his entire right arm, “they represent her, so I’ll always remember how kind she was and how much she helped me.”
“You’re sweet,” I tell him with a smile as my fingers trace the designs.
“No, I’m not,” he says gruffly as he pulls his shirt back on. I frown at his covered chest, wishing I could still see it. “What about you? Do you have a tattoo or ever thought about getting one?”
“I don’t have any. I’ve never really thought about it before. I’d have to come up with something I’d want on me for the rest of my life.”
“You know, some people get tattoos to cover scars on their body. If you end up with any you want to cover, that’s an option for you.”
“I never thought of that. It’s a good idea… replace a bad memory with a good one.”
“Exactly,” he says, pulling my hand up to kiss my knuckles. “But don’t think you need to cover your scars, they tell you that you’re a survivor, and they are beautiful, because they are a part of you.” I blush and bite my lip, feeling strangely happy that he called me beautiful.
“Whose turn is it?” he asks. I shrug. Between his body and his words, I’m having trouble remembering anything.
“Hmmm…” he muses. “Have you thought about what you’d like to do after you’re healed and all of this is behind you? ”
Does he mean him and the guys… after they’re behind me? I frown, trying to figure out what he means. He probably just means after my mom is in jail.
“Uhh… you mean after my mom is caught?” I ask carefully.
“Yes, you’ll be able to do anything you like. Have you given any thought to it?”
Is he trying to hint that I need an exit plan? That I’m only staying here until she’s sorted out and I’m safe?
“Not really… what, err, umm,” I stammer awkwardly, trying to figure out how to phrase my question. “What would you suggest?”
“Well, you’re great with math, so you could do something with that, maybe something in finance? But you are also good at science, so there’s that avenue. Of course, you could do anything you want. The world is your limit, Malishka.”
Is it? But what if I don’t want the world? What if everything I want is in this house?