19. Mina
Chapter nineteen
I close my door, and grab the box of tissues off my nightstand before moving to the window seat in the large window. It overlooks the backyard, and like mother nature knew my mood before I did, it’s dark and raining heavily. The perfect backdrop to mirror my emotions right now.
My mind replays every interaction I’ve had with the guys from the beginning. There were several instances where they would ask about my mother and what she knows. I thought it was because they were worried about me, and maybe, on some level, they were, but I saw the look on the twins’ faces. They were told to get close to me. They used me.
How can I trust anything they tell me? Do they even love me? If so, when did it change from being work to personal? Is there an answer to that question that would satisfy me?
Wrapping my arms around my knees, I let the tears flow freely. I trusted them all, I gave them everything, and they all lied to me, they used me. They only got close to me because of their stupid case. A case that has something to do with me, apparently.
After about ten minutes of crying, I use a tissue to dry my face as I try to calm myself down.
What was I going to do now? How could I possibly stay here with them, knowing everything was a lie? Or it at least started on one.
But how could I leave here with a killer on the loose, who not only targets women who look like me, but is likely someone I know? I have no money, no resources. Nothing. I’m stuck here.
What’s worse is the bodies piling up around us. As angry as I am at the guys, I want them to solve their case before anyone has to die, especially if it’s my fault it’s happening in the first place. Am I the real target? But why would someone try to kill me? If it was my mother or Jeff, they had plenty of chances already. And they would have had better opportunities to do it before I started school. Before that, nobody else knew I existed… except Simon.
Simon.
Holy moly, is he the killer? He could be, he’s a psychopath and definitely capable of murder. He follows us around, but as far as I know, doesn’t actually live with us. He would have plenty of opportunities to commit those murders. But why was he targeting girls who looked like me? He had plenty of chances to kill me over the years.
I sigh, leaning my forehead against the cool glass as I watch the rain fall heavily outside. My head hurts, but my heart… it feels broken. I close my eyes and let the sound of the rain wash over me as I drift off to sleep.
I slowly blink my eyes open, unsure of what woke me. I lift my head and find myself still leaning against the window. But now there’s a fuzzy black blanket wrapped around me. I press my nose to it and inhale the pleasant smell.
“Atlas,” I whisper. My eyes notice a small tray on the bench in front of me, containing a bottle of Tylenol, a glass of water, and a couple of cookies. I remember telling Gideon once that they were the superior snack, did he put these here for me?
I grab the Tylenol and take two pills with the glass of water to help my headache, and my eyes catch on TJ, my stuffed cow, placed by my feet. I take a peek to make sure nobody’s in the room with me, before I pick him up and hug him to my chest, resting my chin on his fluffy head.
Cookies from Gideon, a blanket from Atlas, and TJ from Tucker. Why do they all have to be so nice to me all the time? At least if they were jerks, it’d be easier to take them lying to me. I understand why they didn’t tell me about their PI business, but pretending they were getting to know me because they cared, and not because I was a mission, is hard to stomach.
Did they ever really consider me a suspect? At what point did they rule me out? Did they purposely wait until after I’d slept with most of them before they sprung this on me? Or did they seriously think they hadn’t done anything wrong? The looks they gave me as I realized the truth were definitely filled with guilt. But was it guilt that I figured it out, or guilt that they’d done it? Did it matter?
The rain starts hitting the window harder, making me shiver as I watch the trees sway back and forth.
How was I supposed to move on from this? How was I supposed to live here and help them with the case when I was so angry at them? Not angry… disappointed. I don’t think I can trust their words an ymore. They pretended to be my friend when they were really just using me. I don’t know what to do.
Lightning streaks across the sky, followed ten seconds later by a small crack of thunder, making me shiver. The sound of the rain pelting the window gets louder and louder until suddenly I’m flashing back to a memory of being wrapped in a shower curtain by Simon as water pours over my face, threatening to drown me.
Thunder cracks heavily in the sky and I jump up and run to my door, yanking it opening and stepping into the hall. Then I freeze. Where am I running to? My instincts are telling me to find one of my guys, but I can’t face them yet. Thunder cracks again above me, making me whimper as I stand frozen, unsure of where to go.
Looking over my shoulder, I glance back in my room and see my giant bed… and the space underneath. I run back in and crawl underneath as another blast of thunder cracks above. It sounds so close I swear the whole house shakes. Then the lights go out.
I whimper and realize I’m still holding TJ, so I clutch him to my chest and curl up into a ball, and try to think of anything but the memories that are pushing forward. But the only other memories are those of the guys, and they hurt my heart, so I push those away, and the memories of Simon come flooding back in.