24. Mina
Chapter twenty-four
“ H ello?” a tired sounding man answers after three rings.
I squeeze Atlas’s hand tighter, glad for his strength, as my stomach twists with nerves.
“H-hi. Is this… Paul Stevens?” I ask shakily.
There’s a pause before he answers, “yes, who is this?”
“M-my name is Mina.” He gasps and I can hear the shock as my eyes move up to where I catch Ben watching me. He gives me a reassuring smile that helps to give me strength.
“Mina? As in… my Mina? Where have you been?” he asks with worry and hope threaded through his tone.
“Umm…” I mumble, not sure how to answer.
“You’re calling me, so you must know who I am? Do you remember me?”
“I do. You… You left me. You said you’d come back. But you didn’t! You left me alone with her!” I sob out the last word. I didn’t expect to immediately yell at him like that. I hadn’t planned on saying anything, but after all this time, it just sort of exploded out of me. I sniffle and try to calm myself so I can finish the conversation. Gideon passes me a handkerchief and I use it to wipe my face and blow my nose .
“Oh, honey. I’m so, so sorry! I… There… I can explain. Can I meet you? I need to see you with my own eyes. Where have you been this whole time?” I push my face into Atlas’s chest as I try to contain my cries, and thankfully, Gideon takes the phone from me.
“Hello sir,” Gideon says into the phone.
“Who is this?” His tone immediately changes, and he sounds furious.
“My name is Gideon. I—”
“Put my daughter back on the phone, now!” he demands loudly, making me jump. Atlas holds me tighter, rubbing my back as I sniffle against him.
“Sir, she is right here beside me, you are on speaker phone with us all. But she is upset right now and can’t speak at the moment.”
“Who are you? And who else is there? What’s going on?” he demands answers as Gideon looks at me.
“Mina? Is it okay if I give him a brief history of what’s going on here?” I think for a second, then nod. I’m not sure I could get the words out again.
“Paul?”
“Yes, what is going on? I want to talk to Mina.”
“Look, Mina is upset. She didn’t even know you were still alive or that you’ve been looking for until we found out about you a couple days ago. She says I can tell you a bit about what’s going on, then we can arrange for you two to meet.”
“Alright, I’m listening,” he says gruffly.
“From what we can gather, when you went into rehab, Helen took her and has been moving her around the country ever since. She… She wasn’t treated well. Her mother kept her locked in the basement and beat her fr equently.” Atlas grips me harder at those words, nuzzling my head with his.
“Oh god. I—I’m sorry, honey. Can you hear me?”
“She can hear you.”
“I want to explain, but let’s do it in person. Where are you?”
“We are in Blue River, Montana.”
“Okay, I’ll take the first flight out, can I reach you back at this number?”
“Yes, but it’s Dominic’s phone, so he’ll be the one answering it.”
“And who are you both to, my daughter?” Gideon looks me in the eye as he answers, “we’re her family.”
“Hmm, Well… You two better take care of her and keep her safe until I can get there, I’ll text you the details of when I should arrive.”
They say their goodbyes, and Gideon passes the phone back to Dom. My tears have stopped and I grab Gideon’s hand as I tell him, “thank you.”
He smiles at me, then grabs his flask and moves to the kitchen, probably for a refill, since he seems to have a bit of a tea addiction.
“Why don’t we watch some tv and relax for the rest of the night?” Tucker asks, switching it on as we all get comfortable. I snuggle into Atlas’s side, deciding to forget the fact that I’m mad at them right now. I don’t want to be alone. I know I’m going to have enough trouble falling asleep tonight as it is, with so much going on between my mom, Simon and now, my dad.
Sleeping alone the past two nights has been awful. I kept having nightmares and tossing and turning all night long… It felt like I was constantly on the brink of a panic attack. But I knew that if I left my do or unlocked, and Dom or Atlas came in, I wouldn’t be able to say no to cuddling them, and I was still mad.
Maybe mad was a strong word. I’m frustrated and confused now. I’m frustrated at what they did, but confused about why I still care about them. Shouldn’t I hate them? Shouldn’t the last thing I want is to be touched by them? I thought I couldn’t trust them.
But if I didn’t, then why am I leaning against Atlas right now? Why did I tell them about everything Simon did to me?
When Dom reached out to touch me, then stopped himself. I felt frozen with disbelief. I could see it, clear as day in his expression, he wanted to hold me. But he stopped because he thought I didn’t want him to do it. And he was right, I wasn’t sure at that moment. I wasn’t sure if I trusted them. At least that’s what my head says. My heart never stopped loving them, not even for a moment.
Tucker puts on The Office for us as Atlas runs his fingers up and down my arm in a soothing motion. It’s become my favorite tv show, always making me laugh and feel better. Gideon gets up to grab us drinks and Tucker steals his spot at my other side, sitting against me without really touching me.
Gideon and Tucker have been a bit more reserved with their attention and affection than the others have, Gideon even more so. Them and Ben are the only ones I haven’t slept with. But, despite everything going on, I know that I want to do that with them, at some point. I fear Gideon and Tucker see me more as their student still, and that’s why they haven’t pressed anything with me, or asked me to be their girlfriend yet.
I shouldn’t even be worrying about that right now, I need to decide if I even want to pursue anything with all of them. Of course you do! My head screams at me, clearly coming onboard with my heart, telling me I can’t live without them, that I never lost trust in them and that, even if we did have a rough start, they have always been trying to take care of me, even from afar.
What more could a girl want?
I play with the coffee mug in front of me as we sit in the diner, waiting for my dad to show up. I can’t believe I’m actually going to see him after all this time.
Atlas and Dom sit on either side of me in this large booth. It’s shaped like a giant U, and the other guys sit along the back, on the other side of Dom.
When Paul, my dad, arrives, he’ll have to sit on the opposite side across from me, giving me some space from him. The guys are worried about my safety. I understand, but I’m sure he’s going to feel uncomfortable sitting here with seven guys staring at him.
But until we get some answers, they aren’t willing to let me be alone with him yet, and I’m thankful for their protection. They make me feel safe, so I’m willing to listen to them on this.
The bell chimes at the door, and we all look over. I recognize him right away. It takes him a minute to spot me, sitting with all the men around me. His eyes widen at the group, then his gaze locks on mine, and I know he recognizes me, too. Part of me wants to run to him and throw my arms around his neck, but the other part is still angry that he left me and unsure of where it leaves us now .
He walks up to the table, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Mina,” he says with a sigh. “Gods, I’ve been looking for you for so long. I never thought I’d actually see you again. You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman.”
I don’t really know what to say to him, so I give him an awkward smile and say, “hi.”
He glances around the table, and Dom speaks. “Mr. Stevens, I’m Dominic. Please, take a seat.” He motions to the empty chair at the end, beside Tucker.
Paul takes a seat as he speaks. “So you’re one of the men claiming to be my daughter’s family ?” He says the word like it tastes bad. “And who’s the other one?”
A chorus of, “I am,” goes around the table, and his eyes go wide as I bite my lip nervously.
“Excuse me? What is this? Some sort of orgy? What are you mixed up in, Mina?”
“Oh my god, Dad!” I gasp, my hands covering my heated cheeks. His eyes go wide and he freezes, staring at me. Then a huge smile slowly crosses his face.
“God, you don’t know how good that is to hear after all these years.”
“Tell me what happened,” I demand, wanting to move past the orgy comment and get the information I’m desperate for.
“Fair enough,” he says with a sigh as he nods. “It all started before you were even born. I met your mother and fell for her instantly. It was love at first sight. We had some good times together over the next couple of years. Then she got pregnant. I was ecstatic, I’ve always wanted to be a dad. She gave birth to your brother, Simon.” He looks at me, and I nod, confirming I know who he is, unfortunately .
“He was a cute kid. A little troublesome, but what you’d expect from a toddler. When he started daycare, there were always complaints of him picking on other kids, biting them, or pushing them around, pulling girls’ hair. I figured it was just a phase. The behavior seemed to calm down as he got a little older, but I soon realized he had just learned to hide it. Sometimes I’d find him outside playing with dead animals. It was more than a little creepy, but I was more worried about disease than the reasons he did it. Whenever I talked to Helen about it, she just said that boys will be boys.
“There was an incident at school where he broke another kid’s arm. They weren’t even fighting or fooling around. The other kids who saw it said the kid was begging him to stop, but he just held his arm out over the edge of the playground for a couple of minutes, listening to him beg, before snapping it backward with a smile on his face.
“I told your mother we needed to get him some help, get him to a shrink, but she kept refusing. I told her I’d leave if she didn’t let me get him help. The stress of raising Simon drove me to drink.” He looks away from me with guilt written all over his face.
“I seemed to need to get drunk just to get through any time I spent at home. Your mother and I weren’t even sleeping in the same room anymore. I refused to get closer to her because she refused to get Simon some help. One night, I must have gotten so drunk that I—Uh, well, you know—We got together. Now, I’m sure she did it on purpose. She wanted a way to keep me there. And it worked… for a time.
“It was only a few weeks later when she told me she was pregnant. When we found out it was going to be a girl, I was so excited. I tried to push Simon out of my mind for a bit. But he was still doing things, I just turned a blind eye to it .
“When you were born, and I held you for the first time, it was the happiest moment of my life. I named you Mina, because I knew you were special, that you were mine. As happy as I was when Simon was born, it didn’t feel the same. You were just this tiny, perfect little doll.
“As you started walking and talking, I saw the differences between you, how sweet and perfect you were. I started to notice how your mother treated you differently. She wasn’t mean to you necessarily, but she seemed a little cold and distant. She refused to breastfeed you, telling me the doctor advised against it, saying she wasn’t producing enough milk.
“When you were five, I overheard her on the phone with someone. She said something that led me to believe that Simon wasn’t my son, that she had cheated on me. So, I secretly got a DNA test done on Simon and found out he wasn’t my kid.”
I gasp at that. Simon’s my half-brother?
“I wasn’t sure if I should be happy he wasn’t mine, or mad that she cheated on me. I didn’t confront her right away, as I needed to decide what to do. I knew I couldn’t leave you, but I also couldn’t live with them. I’ll admit I made a lot of mistakes back then. I drank even more after that news, unsure how to get full custody of you.
“About a year later, I caught Simon killing a neighbor’s cat. It was awful. I’m not completely ignorant, I know what kind of people murder innocent animals. That’s when I decided I had to fight for custody of you. I saw a lawyer, but they said I’d have to get sober to have any chance at winning. I stopped drinking that day, but they say to be sure I’d win the case, I’d need to go through a recovery program to prove I’m doing well .
“The day I left for rehab is the day I told you I had something important to do and that I’d be back for you. I told Helen I was doing the recovery program, but not why I was doing it. But I think she somehow found out about my meeting with the lawyer, because when I got out six months later, you were all gone.”
We all sit there in silence for a minute, absorbing that pile of information.
“I’ve been looking for you ever since, honey. Posting your picture in every sheriff’s station around the country that I can get to. Searching hospitals, morgues. The police had a warrant out for Helen, but, as you know, they could never find her.”
“Thank you for looking for me. I wish you found me,” I say softly.
“Me too, honey. Why don’t you tell me your story now?”
“Do you mind if we ask you a couple of questions first?” Ben asks, with his laptop open on the table in front of him.
My dad stares at him suspiciously before finally nodding.
“I can’t find any record of Simon’s birth. Do you know why that is? Or who his birth father is?”
He frowns at Ben before relaxing his expression. “You seem to know a lot about our family, are you a cop or something?”
“Maybe I am, does it matter?” Ben asks with the lift of an eyebrow. My dad’s gaze darts around to each man before landing on me, and his expression softens before he looks back at Ben.
“No, I don’t know who his father is or why you can’t find a record of him. He went to school, so Helen must have had a birth certificate for him, but I can’t say I ever remember seeing it.” We all knew how good my mother was at forging school documents, somehow, so that wasn’t really surprising. Confusing? Yes.
“Will you tell me where you’ve been all this time now, honey? What’s happened?” he asks gently.
“You know a lot of it already. You know Mom kept me locked up and moved us around all the time. When we moved here a couple months ago, she had me start high school. She kept telling me I’m seventeen, not twenty-one.”
“Why would she do that?” he asks, and I shrug.
“That’s a good question,” Tucker pipes in. “We never considered why Helen changed her pattern this time.”
“Go on,” my dad encourages me to continue.
“Well, that’s where I meet these guys,” I say, motioning to the men around me. “I didn’t know at the time, but they’re undercover, following a serial killer. And we’re pretty sure it’s Simon.”
He gasps. “Oh my god! Wait—Have you seen Simon?” he asks, looking confused.
“Yeah, he would make an appearance every few months,” I say with a shrug as I watch his reaction. His face changes from confused to angry to worried.
“He’s been with you this whole time! Did he ever hurt you?”
I look at my hands, then squeeze Dom’s under the table, knowing he’ll understand my need for his assistance.
“Yes,” Dom says, picking up on my plea for help. “Unfortunately, he’s been sexually assaulting her for years.”
“What?” he asks through gritted teeth as his entire face turns red with anger. I lean against Atlas as the look my dad is giving me is full of rage and even though it’s not directed at me, it’s terrifying. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch,” he spits out.
“I should have taken you and run. ”
“It’s not your fault, dad. It’s his and hers.”
“There’s more,” Dom adds, and my dad looks at him, his eyes narrowing.
“Tell me,” he demands.
“Helen—A few weeks ago, she attacked Mina. She almost killed her. We found her covered in stab wounds, her stomach slashed open, and her finger cut off,” Dom finishes the worst part of the story and my stomach rolls hearing my injuries listed off like that.
My dad just stares at us, fuming for a minute as he clearly wrestles with what to say. “I just need a minute. I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time,” Dom tells him as we watch him head to the bathroom.
Atlas wraps his arm around me and kisses my head. “You did good, Malishka. I’m proud of you.”
“How are you feeling?” Jasper asks.
“I’m not sure,” I answer honestly. “It’s almost like everything I’ve ever known is different. Not exactly a lie, but like I never had the full picture before. I… I don’t know what to think or how to feel. He wanted me this whole time, but if he didn’t leave, then I wouldn’t have been taken.”
“You don’t have to sort out your emotions right now. You don’t ever have to sort them if you don’t want to. Try not to stress and just give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling. There is no wrong emotion here,” Gideon tells me, and I nod in response.
My dad comes back to the table and sits down, sighing. He seems much calmer now, the anger drained from his face and a mask of calm there instead. “Mina,” he starts, looking at his hands folded on the table. “I don’t even know what to say right now. I can never apologize enough for leaving you. It’s the biggest regret of my life. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but I think you should come back home with me. I can protect you now.”
What? He wants me to live with him? I know he’s my dad, but it never even crossed my mind that I might be leaving this diner with him. Was that something I wanted? Staring across the room at this stranger, I realize that I don’t even know him. Fifteen years have passed since I last saw him. Maybe we could build a relationship in the future, but I don’t want to start our relationship off with me having to lean on him for support.
I already had support that I knew came without any restrictions or guidelines, and if it was a matter of who I trust most, hands down, it was my guys.
I realize the guys are all quiet, and I notice them all watching me nervously as I debate my answer.
“I’m sorry dad, but I can’t go with you.”
“Why not?” he asks angrily.
“Because I already have a home.”
Max is the first one to offer me a huge smile, and I see the relief on the other faces as well. Everyone’s but my dads.
He turns his gaze to the men around me. “What’s going on here? I’ll not have my daughter used by the likes of you. What are your intentions here? Is this just about catching the killer?”
My eyes widen as he takes on a protective, angry father tone.
“Sir, I assure you we have her best intentions at heart,” Tucker states and Max cuts in.
“We would never use her or harm her!”
“We care about her, and quite frankly, our relationship is none of your business, sir,” Gideon adds, surprising me .
They start a yelling match back and forth with my dad, and I start to tune out their words. My dad and the guys are all arguing about who gets to take care of me. I’ve never had one person care about me before, let alone eight. I feel so loved right now, but it’s such a foreign feeling, I don’t know how to process it. It can’t last. I’m not meant to feel happy like this for such an extended period, and I feel like my body wants to reject it.
My mind starts yelling at me, telling me how worthless I am. It starts as my mother’s voice but quickly turns into my own. They don’t love you. They don’t even know you. They’ll leave you, eventually. They’re too good for you. They deserve to each have their own woman. You can never be what they need. They’re using you.
My chest tightens and my breaths quicken. I need to get out of there, but Atlas is blocking me from leaving the booth. I want to ask him to move, but my throat feels constricted, so I reach down and double-tap his hand that’s been on my thigh this entire time. He shoots his gaze to me with concern, and I just stare at him with a plea in my eyes, begging him to understand.