Chapter 20
THE TWENTIETH CHAPTER
’Tis such fools as you
That makes the world full of ill-favour’d children.
—William Shakespeare
As You Like It
I left the rooms in Chapel Street in a vile mood—so vile that I elected to walk, hoping that the freshening air would blow some of the confusion from my mind and the heat from my cheeks.
But exercise was no balm. Rather than being charmed by the bustle of the streets, I was annoyed at being jostled about.
I found myself glaring at people and walking too quickly in my agitation.
I arrived at Grey House out of breath and perspiring faintly in spite of the breeze.
I was tired and cross, more at myself than anyone else.
I should have mastered my impatience and my excitement at finding the Psalter and bided my time until Brisbane sent word he was prepared to see me.
Instead I had behaved like a schoolgirl.
Brisbane was no performing monkey on display, but I had allowed my own curiosity and excitement to propel me into his sanctum, insulting his privacy.
What was wrong with me that I had forced my way into the rooms of a sick man?
Such impetuosity was not even part of my character.
It was a March trait, one I deplored. And I had allowed myself to be seduced by the thrill of the investigation into acting like a member of my own family.
And worse by far, I had taken advantage of Brisbane’s indisposition and state of undress to assess his physique. It was shameful, really. Poor Brisbane, racked by pain and half mad with absinthe, and I had actually taken the opportunity to look at his bared chest.
My only consolation was that I had not enjoyed the experience.
Brisbane was not at all the sort of man I admired.
He was too dark, too tall, too thickly muscled, altogether too much.
I preferred a slender, epicene form, with delicately sketched muscles and golden hair.
Graceful, aristocratic, like a Renaissance statue. Like Edward.
But if Edward was Donatello’s David, in fairness, I must concede that Brisbane was more Michelangelo’s.
It was the difference between Hermes and Hades, really.
The slim, glowing youth versus the dark, brooding lord.
Grace versus power, although, if I were entirely truthful, Brisbane had his own sort of grace, nothing so effete as Edward’s, but graceful just the same.
Brisbane put one in mind of wolves and lithe jungle cats, while Edward conjured images of seraphim and slim young saints.
It required an entirely different aesthetic altogether to appreciate Brisbane, one that I lacked. Entirely.
Even so, it was wrong of me even to look at him, especially at so fraught a time. I had acted with a complete lack of decorum and good breeding, and I was thoroughly ashamed of myself.
In fact, I was so preoccupied with my little bout of self-loathing that I did not see the caller lounging at the front steps of Grey House until I had nearly passed him by. I paused and peered closely.
“Reddy? Reddy Phillips, is that you?”
The young man swept off his hat and made me a very pretty bow. “Good afternoon, my lady. I hope that you are keeping quite well.”
I surveyed him from his extremely fashionable hat (surely not yet paid for) to the empty watch chain at his waist (certainly the watch was pawned to pay a debt).
He had always been a handsome creature, but I looked at his too-carefully brushed hair and meticulously shot cuffs and found myself growing impatient, my lips thinning in disapproval.
Not my most attractive expression, but I could not help it.
“What brings you to Grey House, Reddy? I am not in the habit of receiving callers in the street.”
He had the grace to blush a little, but it was not as charming as I had once thought.
“I have come about a matter of honour,” he said, leaning toward me with a conspiratorial little smile.
He glanced up and down the street, as if to make certain we were not overheard.
He needn’t have bothered. The only passersby were on the other side of the street and Curzon is wide enough that low voices and clandestine glances are more for effect than necessity.
“What matter of honour? Are you referring to that ridiculous bird in Val’s rooms?”
He blanched, either at my forthright conversation or the audibility of my tone.
“Well, Reddy?”
He smiled again, licking his lips. I noticed that they were peeling. I glanced down at his hands and saw that the nails were bitten to the quick, one thumb bleeding discreetly around the nail. Surely he had not pawned his gloves, as well.
“My lady, I am certain that you will appreciate the need for discretion in this very delicate situation. Perhaps we could go inside….”
He moved toward the door, but I stepped neatly in front of him, squaring my shoulders and lifting my chin.
Really, this was too much. I had complained to Val that the Phillipses were all jumped-up tradesmen and it was only too true.
Two generations of money cannot compensate for the complete neglect of a gentleman’s social education.
No other person of my acquaintance would have presumed to invite himself into my home, particularly when I was still observing my period of mourning.
But I was rather relieved at Reddy’s pushing rudeness. It absolved me of being nice to him.
“No, we cannot go inside, Reddy, because it is nearly teatime, as you would know if you still owned a watch, and I have no intention of inviting you to stay.”
Stunned, he opened his mouth, but I put up my hand.
“Silence, please. Clearly you have come because you think that you can prevail upon me to intercede with Val on your behalf. I can assure you that such efforts on your part would be entirely futile. Do you deny that you put up the bird as a wager?”
“N-no.” I raised an eyebrow at him. He had very nearly insulted me by leaving off my honorific. I was beginning to get annoyed.
“No, my lady,” he amended swiftly.
“Do you deny that Valerius won the wager fairly?”
“No, my lady, but the Honourable Mr. March—”
“There is no but, Reddy. Either Valerius won the bird fairly, in which case you have no business trying to get it back as you well know, or he cheated you of it. Which is it? Is my brother a cheat and a liar or are you just a particularly poor loser?”
If I had thought him pale before, it was nothing to the colour he faded to now.
“I had no intention of calling his honour into question,” he managed to say, his voice tight with panic.
I think he had some dim idea that aristocrats still dueled with swords at dawn.
Of course, Marches did still do that sort of thing from time to time, though none within my memory.
And for all I knew, Valerius would indeed call him out over the matter if pressed.
He was an odd, unpredictable child, even for a March.
“Good. Because if you did—” I leaned closer to him, lifting my veil so that he could see my eyes clearly “—if you did accuse my brother publicly, I should have to inform the earl at once. And if there is one thing his lordship will not brook, it is the malicious slander of one of his own. He would take action, Reddy, swift and entirely merciless, I assure you.”
I was referring to legal action; Father was nothing if not litigious.
But Reddy did not know this. He was doubtless imagining himself shot dead at twenty paces on Hampstead Heath in the faint light of some misty dawn while his seconds looked on.
He gulped and I counted silently to ten before I dropped my veil.
“Now, let us hear no more of this.” I moved to enter my house, then turned back.
“Oh, and Reddy?”
“Yes, my lady?” He shied like a pony.
“The word ‘Honourable’ is never spoken, only written. You would properly refer to my brother simply as Mr. Valerius March.”
His face went a dull, sullen red and I knew that I should have left off toying with him, but I could not.
It felt obscenely good to torment him. He had behaved badly, and after my call in Chapel Street I was feeling volcanic.
Besides, if I had loosed my anger at my staff, I would have paid for it for the next year with cold meals and poorly laid fires.
I could abuse Reddy and send him on his way with a fine story to tell at the gaming tables.
“And remember, Reddy, if I catch the slightest breath of a rumour about this, I will assume you have been talking indiscreetly. And I will not go to the earl with the matter. I will deal with you myself.”
I would swear the boy actually shivered. I swept into Grey House, feeling powerful and strong and capable of anything.
Then my hand touched the Psalter in my pocket, and I realized that I was a good deal less capable than I had thought.