Chapter 2 #2
I did remember and it still made my stomach flip sideways with anxiety.
I had not been rude to Grace Humphries. I was simply shocked when she answered Logan’s phone.
I was even more surprised when she insinuated he was in the shower while she was at his place answering his cell.
In fact, I was too dazed to even form words, so I didn’t get the chance to say anything rude to her before Logan grabbed the phone.
He sounded a bit breathless as he picked up.
Then he muted his end of the call after telling me to hang on and came back to the call only to chew me out for being mean to Grace.
“He didn’t understand that she lied to him.”
“And how are you going to make him see reason? You missed the whole part where Grace told you he was showering while she was answering his phone. Obviously, there’s more going on between the two of them than he let on. Maybe he just keeps you in his back pocket in case things don’t work out.”
“No,” I argued immediately. That can’t be right. I threw the dress on my bed and turned to face my friend. “We made promises to one another.”
“Yeah, when you were children.”
“And again before we graduated high school.”
Aimee sighed and gave me that look that said I was being na?ve. “Your sister died when he gave you that first promise and your mom had just passed away when he made it again. Then the two of you went to different colleges and, let’s be real, he’s a hot guy, Aoife.”
“We’re only four-hours away from one another. Everyone thinks I’m pretty but that doesn’t mean I would hook up with another guy when I’m waiting for Lo.”
“You’ve been four-hours away for two and a half years. How many times has Logan come to see you?”
That shut me up. At first, we took turns taking the train to visit one another.
Every other weekend I would go to him and vice versa.
Then, slowly, his visits decreased and I was the one going to see him twice a month while he only showed up once.
In the past six months, he had stopped coming to me at all.
For the most recent two of those six, I hadn’t been able to go to him either because I crammed so much into my schedule.
Trying to graduate early so we could be together sooner had made it impossible for me to get away.
He hadn’t picked up the slack, though. Aimee wasn’t wrong.
Logan hadn’t put in the effort to come see me in quite a while.
He also hadn’t mentioned my lack of getting to him with any concern.
He was always, except when that Grace woman interfered, happy to hear from me and chat like old times.
Every conversation felt like no time had passed and we picked back up where we left off.
It was part of the reason why I didn’t think anything had changed between us.
Then again, Aimee had a point. Logan had not gone out of his way to make time for me.
Most of the calls, video chats, and even texts and emails were initiated by me.
“What if this is all in my head and has been the whole time?” I wondered aloud.
“No, I don’t think that either. I just question if he still feels the same way or if a certain bitchy classmate of his has finally sunk her claws into him so deep that…” Her voice trailed off, no doubt because she noticed how pale I’d grown. “That his priorities changed,” she finally finished.
“You mean that he no longer cares about me the same way?”
“I don’t know, Aoife. The only way to know is to make sure you ask the important questions when you see him.
You deserve the answers, even if you don’t like what he has to say.
I don’t want to see you holding on to an outcome that will never come to pass, especially when you need a legit escape plan from your life as soon as possible. ”
“I’m terrified to go now,” I admitted as I sat on the bed beside her. Aimee wrapped her arm around me as her mahogany locks tickled the side of my arm. “I don’t know what I’ll do without Logan in my life. He’s been my constant since Faye died.”
“I know, sweetie. You will figure it out. You are a strong woman, a brilliant one at that. You’ve managed to stand up to your dad this long.
Even if Logan can’t be your salvation, I believe you’ll find a way out of the life your dad has planned for you.
I believe you’ll find a way to make yourself happy, even if Logan isn’t in that picture the way you always thought he would be. ”
“I hope you’re right,” I whispered. In a way, I hoped she was wrong, too. Wrong about everything. If she was right, that meant that Logan and I might be coming to an end very soon and I’d never allowed myself to imagine that as an outcome. How was I supposed to live without him in my life?
I shook that thought off and decided to focus my attention on knocking his socks off when he saw me instead.
Maybe, if he had doubts because of the distance between us, seeing me there looking amazing, and then hearing about my news - that I was graduating already and able to move to be with him, would change things.
Maybe it would make all the difference if he was truly on the fence about us. My biggest worry was that none of it would matter because Grace Humphries had insinuated herself into his life so deeply that sometimes she was all he talked about when I called.
Grace this. Grace that. She was a genius. She knew her codes better than most of the men they went to school with. She was so self-assured.
He loved that about her. I could hear his voice as if he stood beside me, reaffirming all the lovely things he had to say about the new woman in his life while not even realizing that he hadn’t asked about me at all.
I didn’t even have to try to keep my early graduation a secret from Logan because he hadn’t been interested enough in my life to ask about how school was going.
It made it really easy to not have to lie to him to keep the secret.
That should have told me everything I needed to know, but hope was a relentless bitch.
Aimee wasn’t wrong to worry about Logan having a change of heart. She didn’t even know the half of it. I had been holding onto the promise he made me long ago to be the place where I could always find salvation from my troubles. Maybe, I’d held on too long while Logan was busy letting go.