Chapter 5
Ailin
Ailin knew something was wrong the moment Mother and Meilin walked into the dining room where she and Ming-ming were sitting. Mother looked as pale as her mourning clothes, while Meilin had an angry tilt to her brows and ink stains on her fingers.
“What happened?” Ming-ming asked from her chair.
Mother shot a warning glance at Meilin, who shrugged and took her seat in uncharacteristic silence.
“Let’s eat,” Mother said as she took up her rice bowl. “It’s hard to talk on an empty stomach. I have something to announce after dinner.”
After such a speech, it was difficult to focus on food, but Mother was so active in filling everyone’s rice bowls with their favorite dishes that Ailin couldn’t help but accept her offerings.
After the lotus root was cleaned out of the soup crock and the plate of soy sauce braised pork was demolished, Ming-ming burst with the question that Ailin was holding back.
“Can you tell us the announcement now, Mama?”
Mother wiped her mouth daintily with a napkin before slowly setting it down. “We are moving to Suzhou.”
“What?” Ailin said in surprise. She didn’t mean to sound rude, but she needed to make sure she’d heard correctly.
Suzhou was a major city more than a week’s journey from Nanjing. Enze, who had lived in the city while attending school, had mentioned news of a Wōkòu pirate raid there less than a month earlier, an attack so severe that it had blocked one of the city’s southern gates.
“We will be moving to Suzhou to live with my brother Jiehan and his family. Meilin has helped me write the letter, and Begonia is taking it to Master Chen as we speak. The Chen family’s trade runs through Suzhou so the letter will reach my brother in no time.
He will come escort us to Suzhou as soon as he receives the letter. ”
Ailin struggled to make sense of Mother’s words. She spoke as if the matter was settled, but uprooting their family to Suzhou would be a life-altering decision, and Mother never made big decisions on her own.
“It’s high time you girls met your Uncle Meng,” Mother continued. “He was my only family until I married your father, and he has been inviting us to visit for years.”
“Are we going to Suzhou to visit or to live there permanently?” Ailin asked.
There was a significant difference between the two, and Mother was ignoring the distinction.
They couldn’t leave Nuolan Garden indefinitely.
This was the Duan home. Junyou was their guardian, and while they were not always close, staying with him was predictable and stable.
He was also the girls’ brother by blood.
To move away for any reason other than marriage would signal a heterodox break in their family bond.
And they were still in mourning. Shouldn’t their home be where they showed their respect to Father for two more years?
Mother clasped her hands together. “I would like the move to be permanent. I’ve missed my brother terribly after all these years and would like to reconnect.”
“Are you sure Uncle Meng’s family will want to take us in?” Ming-ming’s senses were sharper than broken bamboo sometimes, and her question matched Ailin’s thoughts precisely.
Mother’s brother was a zhuìxù, a son-in-law who lived with his wife’s family and was dependent on them financially.
Unlike Junyou, Uncle Meng could not make his own decisions.
Uncle Meng’s in-laws had no blood relationship to Ailin’s family and no obligation to support them.
If Mother took Ailin and her sisters to Suzhou, they would no longer be the matron and young ladies of their own house but leeches in a stranger’s house.
Mother patted Ming-ming’s head as if she was a child rather than a thirteen-year-old girl only years away from the hairpin ceremony that would mark her as a woman.
“My brother has always talked about how generous and kind his in-laws are. His mother-in-law is known for philanthropy, and his wife is a devout Buddhist. We will start our moving preparations tomorrow, so we will be ready to leave whenever your Uncle Meng arrives.”
The whole affair was sudden, and Ailin doubted that Mother had considered all the ramifications of the move before sending her letter. They had ties in Nanjing—Nurse Liu, who had settled in a nearby village; Uncle Chen, who was Ailin’s patron for her art; Heli, whom Mother adored; and Enze . . .
“What prompted this decision?” she asked.
“Simply that I missed my brother and finally had time to write to him today.” Mother’s voice was tight, as if she was hiding something. Not a good sign.
Ailin looked at Meilin. If anyone would tell her the truth, she would. And she had been with Mother when the letter was allegedly written. She would know if Mother was in her right mind. “Is that really all there is?”
Meilin didn’t answer, but her eyes darted toward Mother then away.
Mother, probably thinking the signal was for her, filled the silence with her own answer.
“Of course that’s all there is. Don’t be so suspicious and glum, dear.
Going to Suzhou will be good for us. Your Uncle Meng has said that his family’s house is quite comfortable.
Their estate is called Batong Mansion, and it has plenty of space.
And Suzhou is so well-connected by rivers and canals that people who want to visit us always can.
So, there is no reason to be upset. You understand, right? ”
Ailin bit her lip. Travel between Nanjing and Suzhou was possible, but it was far from easy.
Rivers were dangerous. Bandits and pirates roamed throughout the region.
Moving would cut their family off from virtually everything they had ever known, and they would have to start their lives anew.
Whatever Mother planned, it was probably driven more by emotion than by thought.
Eventually, it would become Ailin’s job to pick up the pieces.
“Of course I understand,” Ailin replied flatly. Then she locked eyes with Meilin, confirming they would have their own discussion later.
Meilin’s room was a lot like Ailin’s, except for the precarious piles of novels and plays covering the surfaces where Ailin would have paintbrushes organized by size.
If it wasn’t for Begonia’s regular tidying, the only clear space in Meilin’s room might have been where her paulownia wood zither hung on the wall.
Meilin sat in front of a polished bronze mirror near the back of the room, brushing her loose hair in preparation for bed.
Ailin stepped over the low threshold into the candlelit room without invitation or preamble. “What’s the real reason Mother wants to move us to Suzhou?”
Meilin spun around. “I’m so relieved you came!” She ran toward Ailin and swept her into a hug. With any other member of the family, the embrace would have been excessive, but for Meilin, it was normal.
Ailin patted her little sister on the back. “I caught your sign at dinner. Tell me everything.”
Meilin stepped back, her brows knitting together. “It’s very ugly. Are you sure you want to hear?”
Ailin steeled herself. “I won’t be able to sleep until I know, so tell me.”
“It was Fan Fulan. She came to visit Mama today and said terrible things about you and Enze.”
Ailin felt her face start to burn. Did Fulan know how she felt about Enze? How? Had Ailin behaved indiscreetly?
She had never lingered with him longer than necessary to exchange a few books or papers.
After the first day they met, they’d never touched again, not even an accidental brushing of sleeves.
They were more careful than that. Could Fulan see beyond actions and into her mind? The thought made Ailin’s stomach turn.
“What exactly did Fulan say?”
“Does it matter?” Meilin’s tone was defiant. “She feels threatened by how much Enze likes you. We need to stand up to her.”
Ailin took a breath to steady herself. She continued to feel hot, despite the unseasonal chill in the room.
Her thoughts were a jumble. She could find hidden paths through brambles, but she hated the idea of cutting new trails.
It seemed so destructive. Fulan was Enze’s flawed but beloved sister.
Confronting her would likely increase conflict rather than improve the situation.
Ailin had to find another way to resolve the issue.
“Perhaps there was a misunderstanding,” she said.
“About what? Enze liking you? That’s the only part of this whole situation that’s not wrong. You deserve to be with him if you love him!”
Ailin’s heart pounded. Was Meilin right?
Did she deserve to marry a man she loved even if it would cause family discord?
That didn’t seem right to her. Marriages were about family harmony as much as personal happiness.
Regardless of how she felt about Enze, she couldn’t rest easy if his family despised her.
The nausea she felt even thinking about Fulan’s disapprobation proved as much.
“Let’s stop here,” Ailin said with finality. “I don’t want to argue with anyone.”
Meilin shook her head, her eyes wide with dismay. “How can you give up so easily? Aren’t you angry at all?”
Ailin clenched her fists, grateful they were hidden under her wide, white sleeves.
It would be a lie to say that she wasn’t upset.
She was also embarrassed, humiliated, and scared.
Fulan had caught her getting inappropriately close to Enze, and because of Ailin’s indiscretion, her mother and sisters were losing their home. How could she ever make it up to them?
Only one thing was certain. She had to make this right.
Since the decision was already made, she would work with Mother to make the move to Suzhou go smoothly.
She would guard her behavior carefully, so she never caused conflict in her family again.
She would never think about Enze unless a formal agreement of marriage was made between their families—and she would not raise her hopes for that miracle either.
Hopes, like fires, needed to be kept small, lest they burn out of control.
Ailin patted Meilin’s shoulder in a deliberate way, aiming to comfort herself as much as to assure her sister.
“Don’t worry about my feelings. Since Mother didn’t want me to know about Fulan, let’s pretend this conversation didn’t happen.
You and Mother did the right thing by writing to Uncle Meng.
Suzhou will be a good opportunity for us. ”