Chapter 14 #2
What if he wasn’t on campus today? I didn’t really want to wait until tomorrow to talk to him about all of this.
I also had no way to contact Aanya. I mean, what would I even say to her?
‘Your brother left a weird mark on my arm yesterday, could I have his number?’ I mean, that would be weird, right?
I scowled, wondering if maybe I could find some coffee on campus before handling all of this.
I didn’t drink it often, but the few times I had, it had literally changed my entire day.
Stepping through the warm doors of the building, I made my way up towards the second floor where I knew a lot of the faculty offices were.
I had seen brown nameplates on each door while passing yesterday, and now I was thankful for our little adventure.
As I came to the top of the staircase, I took directions from a sign on the wall that led towards a massive foyer where there was a large, circular center desk.
A young man sat there, seemingly absorbed with whatever was on the desktop.
“Hi,” I offered in a timid voice, his head snapping up immediately.
“Oh hey, how can I help you?” He offered a friendly smile.
“Ryder Bosu,” I hedged. “I was wondering if he has an office. I forgot to ask in class yesterday.” Not completely far from the truth, in fact.
“Yep. You’re in luck, he is in today. Just three doors down after you turn down the hall up there.” He nodded to the right. I thanked him and took hesitant steps that way, passing closed door after closed door, finding myself feeling not nearly as confident as I had when I first left the dorms.
Why did my bravery always retreat when I needed it the most?
Probably because the man was so intimidating.
It was that magnetic energy to him. I sent a little prayer up to the Goddess that I wouldn’t have to find the courage to knock on the door and was relieved when I found his office door open, the man in question sitting at his desk.
In fact, his eyes were already focused on the door as if he had known I would show up.
Yep. My confidence was completely gone as a shock of energy went up my wrist and I felt my knees almost break. He stood, his large, muscular body making my pulse hitch as he walked towards the door with an easy grace.
“You okay?” Ryder asked, his voice edged with concern that had me feeling confused. “You look pale.”
I frowned, not knowing how to respond, but instead just blurted out the real reason I was here. “You never showed up last night?”
There, that was clear enough, right? It wasn’t really a question, though…
should I have phrased it as such? Once again, I found myself questioning everything I said to the man.
I wanted his approval so badly, and it was a feeling that inspired my darkest insecurities.
The worst part? I had a feeling this was completely in my head.
I actually had a feeling that if he knew how I felt, he would be upset.
Guilt passed over his expression. “I had something come up.”
“Oh.”
I had no idea how to respond to that.
“Come here.” He easily ushered me into the room, closing the door and pulling out his desk chair for me.
I sat in it somewhat stiffly as he crouched down in front of me, his eyes examining my expression before easing up the sleeve of my sweater and coat.
I watched his eyes flash with flame-like heat upon seeing the mark on me.
I knew it had meant something. I didn’t know what it meant, but his reaction spoke volumes to me.
“I thought I had imagined or dreamt it,” he grunted, his brow dipping as if disappointed that wasn’t the fact. I couldn’t lie, my heart seized as pain lanced through me, and I felt my vision blur slightly.
“I shouldn’t have come here,” I whispered softly, realizing that my presence and the reminder of whatever it was this mark meant upset him.
I felt rejection soar through me, and I didn’t understand why I felt that way, just that it was a cold slap in the face.
I would almost have preferred anger to the dread I saw forming on his face.
“Why not?” he demanded, his hand wrapping around my wrist, his thumb brushing over the mark in a soothing, contradictory fashion to his body language.
“You don’t want me here. I can tell,” I admitted nervously. “It’s not that unusual for me, Ryder. I’m not normally welcomed to places, so I somewhat know the signs.”
“Oh, I want you here,” he growled under his breath. “That’s the problem, kitten.”
“Why is it a problem?” Better yet, why did he make no sense?
“I shouldn’t,” he breathed out on a harsh breath. “I shouldn’t want you, Effie.”
That hurt. Why couldn’t or shouldn’t he want me? Because I was a bitten wolf? That made sense, I suppose. At the same time, he was admitting that he did want me. I had no idea how to feel about his statement, and I could feel my flight response kicking in. I needed to get out of here.
“Because I’m a student?” It was the only guess I could verbalize. The others left me far too vulnerable. At least this one was somewhat of a normal reason why we couldn’t be involved, instead of an outright rejection of who I was as a person.
“No.” His gaze darkened on mine. “I teach one class per semester because I’m bored. My career as a professor is absolutely inconsequential. There are far worse and more dangerous reasons why you can’t be with me.”
“Be with you? What do you mean? And why?” I didn’t stop the rambling questions. He had essentially given me a pass to ask.
Before he could respond, though, a knock on the door had both of us freezing. Ryder let out an annoyed sound as he crossed the room and flung open the door. I shrank into the chair, realizing that there was a beautiful woman in the door.
A teacher, if I had to guess by how she was dressed.
Tall, lean, with platinum blonde hair and a dress that fit her structured body in an elegant and timeless way.
She… was perfect, and my exact opposite.
Her dark eyes darted towards me as she offered a dismissive smile, clearly not caring that I was there.
“Oh sorry, Ryder, I didn’t realize you had a student here,” she mused, her red lips pressing up into a smile that even I found attractive. I hated that.
“Now you do. I’m busy,” he said firmly, his indifferent attitude back as he seemed to shift in the door, trying to block her view of me.
“Right.” She let out a soft almost patronizing laugh. “I was just wondering if we were still up for drinks later.”
Oh wow. That concept was landing far more painful than I would have expected. My wolf let out a whimper as I hopped up, pulling my backpack tighter against me while trying to slip past the two of them in the door. The woman immediately stepped out of the way as Ryder let out a deep rumble.
“Effie, we were not done talking.”
“Class.”
It was the singular word I could get out as I practically fled the room, my eyes feeling hot, as if I was about to cry.
I had no reason to feel so much about him grabbing a drink with her, except that she was obviously so much more of Ryder’s ‘type.’ I hadn’t even realized I cared about his type or him preferring someone over me, but now that I had seen them together, it was very clear.
I could hear him call after me as I escaped down the hall, but I just needed to get out of here, at least until I cleared my head.
I froze as I felt a hand tug back on my wrist, hard. Ryder’s fingers on my skin had me hissing at the burning sensation that shot up my arm. Maybe it was better that the man never touched me. Seriously. I pulled my hand to my chest, turning to look up into Ryder’s concerned gaze.
“Did I hurt you?” he demanded.
“No.” I stepped back and saw the woman from before coming down the hall. “I need to go, Ryder. I just… I understand what you are saying. I will stay away from you.”
“I never said that,” he insisted, panic filling his gaze. “We need to talk, Effie. Now.”
I really had to fight to resist that command.
“Ryder.” The woman’s voice broke the moment, and I finally was able to escape.
I jogged up the steps, the foyer filled with people that I could get partly lost in.
I instantly let out a breath of relief when I found myself on the same floor as where I had attempted to take my ID photo.
It wasn’t the best hiding place, but it was something.
Although, I think I knew that if Ryder wanted to find me, he could do it very easily.
I turned down hallway after hallway, until I finally found a small seating area and slid down onto one of the leather couches that were set up in a comfortable arrangement.
I honestly had no idea where I even was right now, but it was quiet and allowed me a moment to calm down.
My breathing and pulse slowed as I tried to sort out how I felt about Ryder and what had just happened.
Goddess, my life had been far less confusing before coming here. Would I trade it? I… No, I don’t think I would. I suppose that was my true answer, wasn’t it? I knew how I felt about it, clearly.
“Effie?” I looked up to find Aaren’s brows furrowed, a backpack slung over his large shoulder as he paused in his walk past. “Are you alright?”
What gave me away? The tears streaming down my cheeks? When had that even happened? I shook my head and let out a small huff of air.
“Yeah.” I was clearly contradicting my statement, but I was hoping he wouldn’t call me on it. “Just a weird morning.”
I need my… mates. I needed my mates, that was who I needed right now.
I didn’t know what was going on with Ryder, and I felt completely off center, but I knew they could anchor me.
I could use Julian’s smiles or Tore’s firm hold on me when he pulled me close.
I could use Caedmon’s intensity or Dakota’s possessiveness.
I needed them. That much was very clear.