Chapter 2 #3
Honestly, I didn’t understand their dynamic because everything told me they were angry at one another… But they didn’t mind spending time with each other? It was confusing, but I also felt like it wasn’t my place to ask about their problems. Now if they told me, that would be far different.
As if seeing my confusion, Julian explained, “The two of them are best friends, even if they deny it right now because Dakota was hurt when Caedmon just moved out. So they’ve got some shit to work out, but that’s why they don’t mind spending time together.”
Oh… Well, that sort of made sense.
I felt a pang of pain in my chest realizing that I’d never had a best friend before. Okay, Effie, sure. That didn’t sound pathetic at all.
“Let me get you more soup.” Tore urged me to sit as he took my cup and disappeared towards the kitchen, leaving just Julian and me. When he motioned me over, I immediately got up and sat in his lap, his fingers brushing over my jaw gently.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, preciosa. I should have. I was shocked, but more than that, I was worried that it would scare you away. Honestly, I still am.”
“It doesn’t scare me,” I whispered. “It scared me more when I thought you didn’t want me to be your mate… I was worried you didn’t want me to know because you didn’t want the bond or were embarrassed by it, or something like that.”
Julian’s eyes bled dark as he lifted my fingers and brushed his lips over my knuckles. “Effie, finding you, realizing you were my mate, was possibly the singular best moment of my life thus far.”
Oh.
I inhaled sharply at the emotion behind his words, but before I could respond, Ryder strode back in. “My sister is stopping by so I can give her the keys. She will bring back the car tomorrow.”
“You’re staying?” I asked, my excitement obvious.
Ryder blinked, apparently only just now realizing he hadn’t confirmed that yet. “Are you okay with that? I just assumed—”
“I would love that.”
His eyes heated, and he nodded sharply before walking towards the kitchen. Julian tracked the movement, shaking his head with that level of amusement and undisguised mirth he seemed to always exhibit.
“What?” I asked.
Julian smirked. “Just enjoying the not-so-subtle unraveling of Ryder Bosu. It is far more entertaining than I would have expected.”
“Unraveling? What do you mean?”
Julian ran his hand over my braids, tugging them lightly. “I mean that you, my beautiful Effie, are making one of the most brilliant minds in America question his sanity. It is quite the accomplishment.”
I blushed. “Stop it.”
When the elevator door dinged, he stood up and placed me in his seat to watch the doors open, my face instantly brightening into a smile.
Ruby and Aanya.
“Effie!” Aanya strode across the room, ignoring Julian completely.
Then again, that didn’t surprise me—she was extremely high energy, seeming to exist in a constant state of adrenaline.
I had no idea how she managed it, but the woman seemed to have her life perfectly in order, down to the immaculate dress coat and heels she wore this afternoon.
Her dark, pin-straight, almost navy-colored hair was covered in snow, but it was the only sign she’d been outside as she tugged me into a hug.
“Are you feeling better?” Aanya rounded the chair and sat on the coffee table in front of me, looking over me with concerned violet eyes. “We heard what happened—that must have been terrifying.”
“What the hell were you thinking, going up on the ice caps?!” Ruby appeared next to her.
Despite her words, I could tell it wasn’t that she was mad at me but rather worried.
I was slowly getting used to how the two of them communicated, and I had to remind myself that they weren’t like Theresa.
I didn’t have to overthink everything they were saying.
Although, I could tell there was something going on with Ruby, because despite the short time I’d known her, I could tell she was more on edge than usual.
Her copper eyes were dark, and her red hair was pulled up into a messy bun that matched the relaxed look of her oversized jacket and leggings.
It almost felt like she was hiding, and I wondered if it had to do with her avoiding the blood-bonded pack right upstairs.
My heart squeezed, realizing that despite her obvious desire to steer clear of them, she had made the effort to come and see me.
I wanted so badly to have a real friendship, a healthy one with other women, but much like how Gerald had soured me towards the concept of most men outside of my mates, Theresa had made me wary of women.
“We don’t have those in Chicago, at least where I lived.” I shrugged. “Honestly, they just looked like piles of snow. I feel stupid in retrospect.”
“Not stupid,” Julian said, walking towards the kitchen where I could hear Tore and Ryder talking, their whispers not sounding exactly friendly.
“I can’t believe you actually live with them,” Ruby stated quietly and suddenly, almost looking sad while eyeing the room, cautious. “What’s it like?”
“What’s it like to live with them?” I asked as Aanya seemed to watch her with a curious expression.
“I only lived with two other people before this, so obviously it’s different, but I…
Honestly, I love it. I am confused about a lot of stuff, but knowing that we are all in the same place, especially at night, makes me and my wolf feel better. ”
Ruby nodded, but before she could say anything, Ryder walked over and grabbed some keys from his pocket that he held out for his sister. “Are you sure you’re good to drive?”
“More than good.” Aanya grabbed the expensive set of keys. “Want to explain why you are staying?”
My eyes widened as I realized Aanya didn’t know her brother had marked me… Whatever the heck that meant.
“Working on a project with Caedmon.”
Ryder’s smooth answer felt like a punch to the gut, and I felt my eyes prick.
I stood up and walked towards my bedroom, pretending like I was just grabbing something as I heard Aanya say ‘right’ in a disbelieving tone.
I wasn’t surprised she didn’t believe him, because despite it being a polished answer, he’d been looking at me when he said it.
I wondered if he knew how much his words hurt.
Somehow I didn’t think he did…. Or maybe he did and he knew that it was necessary to push me away.
Could he tell how much I wanted to spend time with him? He must have found that annoying.
Once I was back in my room, I walked towards my window to stare at the gray clouds rolling in.
I picked up a small snow globe, the one I had purchased before Tore had gone back to the store, and disrupted the fake snow inside.
The peaceful effect of it falling and settling had me being able to breathe out.
I knew I shouldn’t let Ryder affect me so much. I didn’t know why his continued rejection hurt when I should have expected it.
“He didn’t reject us.”
But he had; my wolf was wrong. He had denied our truth. He’d chosen not to acknowledge that there was something between us, that the reason he was staying was because of me.
Why had he marked me if he didn’t want me?
I pushed up my sleeve and examined the pattern that adorned my wrist. There was a circle of nine flames that flickered, like live fire, under my touch in tones of purple and orange…
but that wasn’t all. No, now above it were four moons, all in different phases, and the entire thing made me feel a sense of peace I wouldn’t have expected.
It was also in direct contrast with the energy I felt from Ryder when he stepped into my room.
I knew I should have gone back out there. Now I was trapped.
“Effie.”
“I’m coming out, just needed a minute.” My voice didn’t sound steady enough, but I hoped he wouldn’t hear it.
I was obviously kidding myself, though, because when his large frame appeared behind me in the reflection of the window, my breath rushed out of me.
His arms caged me, and I turned so I could meet his gaze head-on.
He didn’t say anything for a minute, holding my gaze before he leaned forward and spoke in a quiet voice that had my skin heating.
“Kitten, I am not rejecting this—rejecting us. I just don’t know how to explain what has happened without explaining everything.
My sister would be aware of what this mark means, in theory, and I need to have that conversation with you before I have it with her. ”
So there was something to be rejected, I wasn’t imagining this connection.
I searched his face for the truth of his words and saw nothing but honesty. “It’s not just your words that make me feel rejected, Ryder. It’s everything about how you interact with me… It’s like it hurts you physically to be around me.”
His dark laugh was strained. “It does hurt me, kitten. It very much fucking hurts me. You have no idea the feelings you invoke in me.”
“Feelings?” I swallowed.
His hand came up and wrapped around my throat gently, almost strumming my pulse with his thumb. “Yes. Lots of feelings, Effie, ones that I have no idea how to deal with.”
For a moment, I couldn’t even respond, stunned he was touching me like this, so…so intimately. My knees felt weak as my breathing went fast, my fists tightening as I tried to keep myself upright.
“Maybe I can help you,” I barely got out, feeling nervous as his eyes flashed dangerously to my lips.
His jaw was tight as he spoke quietly. “That's the problem, kitten. I have no fucking doubt that you are the only person that could help me deal with it, and I can’t put that on you. I can’t put any of this on you.
Just know that I am not rejecting you, Effie; I am doing my damn best to not scare the hell out of you. ”
How did I tell him that I didn’t scare easily when that wasn’t true? I wanted it to be true though. I wanted it to be true for Ryder.
Before I could respond, someone began banging against the elevator door. Why did I have a feeling that whoever was on the other side of that door was anything but happy?