Chapter 7 #2
“Not exactly. Kitsune magic, especially when the other counterpart is weaker, takes over the genetic line completely. So instead of being half-human and half-kitsune, I am completely the latter, which is why males are so valued in our society.”
I continued, “Because of that, Aanya and I grew up very differently. The first few years of my life were spent in Kyoto with my parents. Our family line is in charge of a massive skulk there, one that has amassed enough power to rival the government, and my father was next in line.”
“Was?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “When my sister was born, my father and mother fled to New York to raise her without the influence of the family. They were, and still are, part of some really bad shit, and they knew that raising a daughter in that environment would be a bad idea. They weren’t wrong.”
“Did you go with them?” Her voice was soft and almost knowing.
I shook my head. “No, I was left with my grandfather and uncle.”
Two cruel bastards I hated to this day. They had been furious my father left and took it out on me, my back bearing marks to illustrate their frustration.
The one time my father had seen the scars, he had been unsurprised, and I later realized it was because he had very similar ones.
That was also the day that I recognized my father had expected me to fend for myself, even at that young of an age.
“That’s horrible.” The anger on her face pulled me from my thoughts, making me almost smile in affection that she was upset about me being left behind by my own family.
It was in the past now, and I didn’t resent my sister for it, but it felt good seeing the way her eyes lit up in frustration for me instead of because of me.
“It wasn’t great,” I agreed, “but my escape from that lifestyle was school, and more so, university. When I managed to finish my normal schooling by sixteen, I immediately applied to a university in America under the pretense that I would come back. I haven’t.
I also have avoided any contact with anyone outside of my family.
They know where I am, and now that my sister has taken mates, my parents have moved back to Kyoto.
I have absolutely no idea what they were thinking with moving back, but maybe they assume things will be different?
But they won’t be, and I don’t plan on making the trip over there to visit. ”
Hell, it was safer for Aanya to go visit than myself.
“But they want you back there?”
“I’m sure,” I grunted. “I’m the one who is supposed to take over the skulk eventually and provide the next in line to do the same.
It is the family ‘responsibility’ or some bullshit like that.
” I let out a low rumble in my throat. “Which is why it’s dangerous to be my mate.
If I take a mate and we produce an offspring, my family will try to pull me into the fold again, and I never want you or anyone else around the bullshit that they are involved in.
More so, I am concerned that if I do produce a male heir, they would take direct action and try to forcibly take my child back there. ”
“So you have to be unhappy because of their possible actions?” There was no judgement in her voice, just a level of sadness that had my heart aching. There were other parts of me in pain as well, because everything inside of me rebelled against the notion of not taking Effie as my mate.
As a twenty-seven-year-old kitsune, there was a very large part of me that wanted nothing more than to claim Effie and build the family I had never thought I would want.
But I also knew that was selfish. Giving into the instinctual, primal need would put my mate in trouble and endanger any children we had…
And that wouldn’t make me any better than my family.
In fact, it would in some ways make me worse, after what I’d seen and been through at my grandfather’s hand.
I felt pain sever through my chest as I forced my answer out. “Yes.”
Effie tilted her head. “Could you have a mate and just not produce any children?”
I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t want to with Effie, and that was a problem. I didn’t believe I had the restraint to mate with Effie without actively trying to fuck a litter of kitsune into her… I would end up attacking the woman and scaring the hell out of her.
“That is part of the problem.” My voice held a growl of annoyance.
“Normal birth control doesn’t work for male kitsune.
It ensures that we produce as many kitsune as possible.
” Which is why I had never even considered taking someone as a mate, let alone someone to bed.
Plus, it was obvious my magic had been waiting for Effie, so no one else would ever do.
Effie's face turned a light pink. “Oh. Okay, that makes sense.”
The silence that filled the room was heavy as she looked down at her hands, clearly trying to figure out something to say. When she looked up at me, her eyes were filled with emotion. “So why mark me, Ryder?”
“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered with guilt. “I would have never done that to you on purpose, Effie. I wanted to leave you alone. I wanted to walk away before you even knew what was going on between us. I just couldn’t. It had been so long; I didn’t expect to find my mate now.”
“So that’s it?” she murmured, her eyes tracing my face.
“That’s it.” I swallowed down the protest and the urge to ask her what she wanted.
What if she wanted to take that risk and she thought it was worth it?
What if she thought we could find a way to protect our little family?
What if… No, I couldn’t go there. She had other mates, as it was.
Besides her rare heritage and being a bitten wolf, the woman was dealing with more than enough.
She didn’t need to handle my bullshit as well.
“I will protect you and do everything I can to make you happy,” I vowed. “It just can’t be anything more than that. I can’t walk away from you, Effie, but I also can’t have you.”
Her fingers reached out and intertwined with mine as she spoke softly. “If that’s what you want, Ryder, then I accept that… I don’t ever want you to feel forced into a situation, especially mating. I have a feeling that happens a lot more than I assumed at Silver Falls.”
She had no idea.
I groaned and put my head down, wanting so badly to counter her, to tell her that it would be fine, that we just had to be careful…
But that wasn’t the only issue. There was the entire issue of what was on her arm.
Something we needed to talk about with the others the minute they were out of the huler.
“So how does this affect helping the others?” Her voice filled with bravery as she seemed to try to recenter herself.
“If I shift, I need you to close your eyes. I can carry you there, across the water, but you can’t look at me.”
“Why?”
“Normally, it could injure someone because of the light that comes off of us,” I explained simply. “But more so, the more our magic intertwines, or if your wolf and my kitsune connect, it’s going to make it harder to deny this connection.”
“A connection you want to deny.”
“I don’t want to deny it,” I growled softly. “We have to.”
Effie nibbled on her lip as a bright light entered her gaze. “What if we just didn’t have sex? Would that work?”
I felt like I was being steamrolled for a minute as I realized that Effie wanted to be my mate.
I didn’t see fear in her eyes, I saw determination, and it made it ten times harder to deny what was between us, because her emotions were clear as day.
She wanted this, wanted our connection. It wasn’t just an attraction thing, either, although both of us could feel that as it crackled through the air.
How did I deny her something she wanted?
I already felt like I was losing this battle, and it had just begun.
I wanted to kneel down at her feet and ask her to tell me it was going to work out.
I feared it would only be a short time before I gave into her.
Especially if we spent time alone like this.
A low rumble escaped my throat. “I think you overestimate my control, little kitten. I keep slipping around you.”
Like when I said I would spank her ass pink. It wasn’t a lie—I could practically feel how fucking good her soft skin would feel under my hand, and I wanted nothing more than to spank her pert ass before burying myself between her thighs.
Effie flushed as a small smile came on her face that she tried to hide. “You don’t have a lot of control around me?”
Normally I wouldn’t believe it was possible for someone to be truly this innocent, but I could see in her eyes that she didn’t understand how her questions played in my head. How badly I wanted to give her a cinematic preview of how I imagined taking her.
“I wish I could explain how you affect me, but even that could send me into a tailspin,” I murmured before shaking my head and trying to snap out of it. “Okay, so can you do that? Can you trust me to get you there without looking?”
“Yes. Of course.” Her voice was soft and sweet. Instead of seeing the disappointment from before, it was like my words had changed something. Now that I’d admitted that she had such a strong effect on me, Effie’s eyes were filled with determination.
I nearly groaned, because if Effie tried to push me, she would realize just how weak my resolve towards this situation was.
“Good,” I offered in a near grunt. “I also need you to promise that when we get there you will listen to me. I have no idea who they put in the huler with them, but it’s possible that they are in active danger.”
And it most likely would be. I hated the worry that infiltrated her gaze, but I also didn’t want to lie to her.
After about thirty minutes of bundling Effie up to ensure she was tucked into the warmth of my far too large jacket, I pulled a hat over her head and ushered her into my car, having turned on the heater ten minutes before.
It wouldn’t make up for the cold that was going to be on the lakefront, but it was something.
I had to fight the urge to feed her as well, not knowing when she last ate or if she had a chance before all hell broke loose in that cafeteria.
I didn’t blame Dakota, but I was pissed he had put her in a difficult situation. I also hadn’t thought twice about leaving my office and meeting Caedmon at my condo in order to keep her somewhere safe while she slept off the stress of the day.
My gaze darted to the woman next to me as we drove, finding that she looked far too beautiful and adorable for me to be able to focus properly on the road.
Her elegant fingers played with the controls on the radio, and I fought the urge to smile at her curiosity.
I wanted to protect that. I wanted to protect her.
It was an urge under my skin like I had never felt before, and it was nearly overwhelming.
When we finally arrived at the large cement pier that led out to a lighthouse, I threw the car in park and got out to help her out of her side, not wanting her to slip on ice or anything.
The wind whipped fiercely around her, and I could see the water shifting under the icy surface of the lake.
Everything in me, despite knowing she would be fine, rebelled against bringing her anywhere near this type of danger.
How many humans had gotten pulled under this pier during the summer? Far too fucking many.
I kept her frame against mine as we reached the lighthouse and rounded it so we were out of view from anyone that could be looking. I eyed the alcoves to the north and crouched down before looking back at Effie.
“Hop on my back.”
“What?” she asked, wide-eyed. “You want to pick me up?”
“How do you think I’m going to carry you?” I grinned as she blushed but stepped closer and wrapped her arms around my neck. I gripped the back of her thighs and brought her legs around me as I turned my head and spoke quietly. “Close your eyes, kitten, and do not let go.”
Five minutes later, my paws were hitting the frozen surface of the lake, the glow of orange and purple surrounding us and keeping my mate warm and safe. No wind or water would touch her.
My form sprinted across the surface like it was nothing. Effie held onto me for dear life, her instincts telling her that she needed to be concerned, because nothing about this was natural to a wolf.
Something that wasn’t necessary since my tails were wrapped around her waist. I nearly scowled at my magic because it wasn’t fucking necessary to do that, and entirely wrong because she had no idea how good it felt to hold her like that.
My magic essentially ignored me and continued to warm her skin and brush against it, causing her to melt into me further.
When we finally reached the cliffside, I left the ice and jumped up to a jagged ledge that was right near the entrance to the first alcove. I felt anger surge through my system, finding the exact thing I hadn’t wanted to see.
I should have just come to handle this myself.
All four men were chained against the stone floor near the ledge, forced to experience every icy wave that hit them.
It should have only been Dakota in theory, but I had a feeling this wasn’t really about today.
No, this was a punishment related to Effie.
Almost immediately, Caedmon’s gaze found mine, his eyes widening in surprise and then anger as he took in the figure on my back.
Yeah, I expected that, because who in their goddamn right mind would bring Effie here?
A sucker who wasn’t going to be able to experience his mate in any way but through smiles and the touches she occasionally offered. That’s who.
I jumped the ledge, landing in the alcove, and shifted back into human form, keeping a coating of my magic around her.
I let her slide down my body as I turned her into my chest. I could hear Caedmon saying something over the wind, but I ignored him and instead looked around the alcove, not finding any current threats…
Although, there was blood everywhere. Something had very much happened.
Effie’s eyes opened as I spoke over the crash of the waves. “I am going to grab them. I need you to stay here while I release each one.”
My kitten nodded, and then I stepped to the side as her eyes fell on the four of them. I had expected a lot of different emotions, but the anger I saw there had me wondering if she was going to react far differently than I expected.