Chapter 9
Effie Harlow
Ifelt much better about twenty minutes later, tucked between Tore and Julian on the couch and curled up under a blanket.
Dakota handed me a mug of tea as I let the contentment of the moment fill me, trying to pull back from the overwhelmed sensation from the minutes before.
But before I could completely bury it, I had one question that was buzzing in my head.
“Ryder?” The room turned its attention towards me, the quiet conversations settling. I honestly couldn’t tell you what they had been talking about, but they looked heated.
His gaze darkened on me as the dynamic of the room shifted. I had a feeling he knew what I was going to ask.
“Yes?”
“What did you mean that I wasn’t a normal wolf?”
Now, it was no secret that Ryder was complicated, but the look that flashed across his face was one I’d never seen before.
It seemed almost cautious and burdened with knowledge, making me worried about what exactly he was going to tell me.
I felt my nerves return as I took a sip of tea in an attempt to calm myself.
He seemed frozen for a minute, and it was clear he was trying to plan out how he was going to explain whatever was on his mind.
The others were sitting as he stood, his hands deep in his pockets, as he exhaled and met my gaze again.
Tore’s lips brushed against my temple, and I let out a small happy sound at that.
Ryder opened his mouth to speak… Right as my stomach made a really embarrassing gurgling noise. All of my mates stared at me, my cheeks bright pink as I curled further into the couch and squeaked “Sorry.”
“Did you not feed her?” Tore demanded, his tense energy making me tighten my hands on him.
I was finding that while I didn’t like when he got worked up, I was starting to recognize that, much like Julian, he wasn’t going to hurt me.
He would get mad at others, but never me, and the way he held me was so protective that it was hard to believe I had ever been scared of the man.
Ryder looked panicked. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t know if—”
His words were cut off as Tore lifted me and carried me towards the kitchen with the parting words, “Well start knowing, Ryder. She’s fucking tiny and needs food. Always.”
I blushed more as a string of insecurity went through me.
I knew he didn’t mean it offensively—at least I didn’t think he did—but being ‘small’ and him wanting me to eat more had me wondering if he wanted me to change.
Was I not attractive to him? This pull and push of confidence and insecurities was exhausting.
My breath caught as Tore set me on the kitchen counter and pulled back, examining my face.
“What?” he demanded softly.
“You said I was small and needed to eat more… Do you not like how I look?”
There! That had been easy… And now he was staring at me like I was crazy.
Tore cupped my jaw and examined my face. “Lil bit, I think you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever come across. I don’t want to change anything about you. You are perfect, I just need you to eat. It’s the best way I can measure how well I am taking care of you.”
“Okay.” I offered a small smile as he kissed my lips lightly and then went to the fridge, bending down to grab something out of the freezer. I could hear the others coming over, mid-argument, as I stared at the bright packing he held.
“What is that?” I asked curiously.
“Something that isn’t nearly as good of nutritional quality as you actually need,” Tore grumbled, putting it in the microwave and walking back towards me.
“Thanks for making me something,” I said as my hand slid to rest on his chest, his eyes warming.
“You don’t even know what it is yet.”
“But you still made it for me. No one has really gone out of their way to make sure I was fed before.” I shrugged. “It’s a nice feeling, being taken care of. I wish I could take care of you guys more.”
Tore blinked. “Effie, you healed us. You literally healed us in that cave.”
I had.
“Which is why Ryder is going to explain what the hell is going on while Effie eats.” Dakota took a seat at the island as Caedmon leaned in the doorway of his room. Julian hit the microwave for another minute, and the scent of something spicy filled the space, making my mouth water.
“That smells really good.”
“It’s some frozen meal casserole,” Julian said. “I think Italian? Maybe lasagna? Caedmon, what does the package say?”
Caedmon picked up the box from where Julian had tossed it and read, “It says it is an Italian pasta blend. Bullshit.”
“It is an Italian pasta blend bullshit? That’s a thing?” That didn’t sound right.
Dakota chuckled as Caedmon offered me a rare smile. “No, sorry Effie, I was saying that it’s not real Italian food, that they are bullshitting when they say that. If you want Italian, we will just go to Italy.”
My eyes widened. “You can just do that? Just go to Italy?”
Caedmon’s ears heated as he ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, my family has a jet. We can use it whenever.”
I felt nerves swamp me at the reality of how wealthy Caedmon really was. “Like a private jet you fly in? Your family owns a plane?”
“And a house in Italy,” Julian mused, placing food down next to me.
Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry, feeling super insecure like I had the first time I’d met Caedmon.
After everything we had talked about and how he had assured me, I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, but the residual feeling had yet to completely disappear.
“Shut up,” Caedmon snapped as Julian put his hands up innocently.
“I think we should focus back on the Ryder thing,” Dakota mused and then squeezed my arm. “Don’t think about it, Effie. Money doesn’t matter.”
Oh, but it did. Especially when you were the one who didn’t have it.
I nibbled my lip and nodded, looking back at the food that had been handed to me.
I picked it up and began to eat it slowly, blowing on it so it could cool.
Ryder was walking back and forth in front of us for a minute, but finally he stopped and locked his gaze on me.
I didn’t expect the next question that left his mouth.
“Do you know about the mythos of the sun and moon?”
I tilted my head, trying to recall my readings.
“Not fully. I know that most wolves worship the moon goddess, but outside of that, I don’t know the details.
Considering I didn’t even know the names of the lycan and totemic wolves before arriving here, you can assume I don’t know most things about wolf culture and history. ”
Ryder considered that for a moment. “Okay, I’ll start from the beginning then. Remember when I told you that kitsune were descendants of the sun god?”
I nodded.
“You can link all magic-based creatures back to the sun god and moon goddess. The mythology of the sun and moon are intrinsically connected to our existence to begin with,” Ryder explained, his voice taking on a smooth tone that reminded me a lot of how he spoke in class that first day.
“The mythos state that before humans, wolves, or any other magic users existed, there were two gods that roamed the earth: a sun god, who was a kitsune, and a moon goddess, who was a lykos.”
“What’s a lykos?” I questioned, taking another bite of the pasta, resisting the urge to let out a happy hum at its surprisingly good taste.
“A type of wolf that no longer exists, probably the easiest way to describe it.” Ryder tilted his head in thought. “If kitsune are the god-blessed counterpart to fox shifters, then lykos are the god-blessed counterpart to wolves… Well, were. We will get to that in a minute though.”
There were fox-shifters? I hadn’t even realized that.
“Upon roaming the earth, they decided to come together in a union to form a population of god-blessed shifters that would populate the earth. Their union brought forth many kitsune and lykos, which is how both developed such long, prestigious family lines.”
“Did they make humans as well?”
“No.” Ryder sighed. “I will explain where they came from in a moment, but it’s not a pretty story.
Everything was perfectly fine for a period of time, but the one rule was that the lykos and kitsune could only reproduce with each other, because all the females would be lykos and males kitsune…
This was before the kitsune had the curse put on them regarding how female shifters could only produce with non-kitsune.
Back then, the lines were far neater and more strict. ”
“So what changed that?”
“The dark god, the embodiment of night itself, created humans. It was said that he was the first lover of the moon goddess, who she’d tossed aside once she mated with the sun god.
Predictably, he was angry, so he created the mutated and unnatural form of humans, who tempted the kitsune and lykos to mate outside of their species.
While there isn’t always much detail on how it occurred over time, it is said that’s how the lycan, fenrir, bitten, and totemic species were created, making the earth filled with the unblessed race of humans and wolves alike. ”
“And that was a problem?”
“Well, depends on who you ask. The sun god was furious, more so because the lykos were now trapped in a war. While the kitsune were perfectly fine with being isolated, the lykos were called not only to kitsune kind but the new species of wolves, because they were the only other potential mates. I suppose it was a big ‘fuck you’ to the sun god from the dark god himself.”
“So what happened to the lykos? You said they don’t exist anymore.”
Ryder’s face filled with pain. “Our kind killed them.”
“What?!”
“Out of jealousy and spite, the kitsune killed the lykos so they couldn’t continue to mate outside of the god-blessed pairing. It was also how we lost the blessing from the sun, and when we did mate with humans and had female offspring, they weren’t allowed to mate with their own kind.”
“So the kitsune killed all of them?” Pain severed my heart at his words.