Chapter 9
Effie Harlow
Ididn’t remember falling asleep. In fact, the last thing I remembered was Dakota’s gentle touch as he helped me into bed and pulled a soft shirt over my head. I was out after that, and I wished I could say it was a dreamless sleep. Unfortunately it was anything but.
Images flashed through my mind, ones that I didn’t understand and knew weren’t my own memories but caused me unimaginable amounts of pain.
My stomach twisted and turned, revolting at the sight of blood splashed across the floor, the screams of the grieving spilling through the house.
The sound of crying children echoed through my ears as they were separated from their mothers, the kitsune dragging the lykos away.
Turning them into prized possessions of the elite.
Tears streamed down my face as I trembled, knowing that I was supposed to see this. I didn’t understand why, but my magic deemed it essential.
So I watched. I grieved. And when I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I closed my eyes.
Not once did I try to break out of the dream, though.
These women had suffered because of how they were born, and their pain was only strengthening my resolve to stop anything like this from ever happening again.
Because mark my words, Mona was right—this was exactly what Hastain would want.
Eventually though, after what seemed like hours of these visions, everything faded around me, turning white on the edges.
Looking around in confusion, I waited for the next memory to come, but nothing did. My ears had stopped ringing, leaving me in utter silence. I stood shakily, and the minute I was up, the room shifted and twisted, everything going black—
Until I found myself in a dark room.
“Caedmon?”
I’d experienced this odd shared dream realm with some of my mates before, so it shouldn’t have surprised me to find myself in one with Caedmon…
but here I was. Except he didn’t see me.
His gaze was on the scene below, a brutal one painted in blood.
I looked away because there were other things happening as well, things that turned my stomach.
It wasn’t just Caedmon in the room—there were others too, and what was being done to them was revolting.
Trying to block out the noises, I approached my mate, seeing the agony on his face as he watched the scene play out, almost as if punishing himself.
I don’t think he registered that I was even there until I laid my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around him.
No words could express the horror I felt at the memory he was reliving.
Anger didn’t do it justice; neither did fury. Sadness paled in comparison to the way it made me want to cry for him. I wanted to bury myself inside of Caedmon’s head and rip out these memories. To make him forget.
His hands shook as he wrapped one around my waist and the other in my hair, holding me against him and not allowing me to look.
I wasn’t here to see the memory, though—I was here to comfort him, or at least try.
My magic had known he needed it, so here I was.
If he wanted me to watch it, I would, but I could tell he barely wanted to watch it himself.
So why was he punishing himself by doing so?
“I should have fought harder,” he whispered. I knew if we were in the real world, there would be even more agony and guilt in his tone, but right now he seemed partly dazed. “I should have tried to escape.”
“You were a child,” I said vehemently. “That was your home.”
“I didn’t try hard enough,” he murmured, tucking me under his chin. “I thought it would stop. I thought she would stop.”
Tears leaked down my face and soaked his shirt as I did my best to comfort him, running my fingers up and down his back. Eventually the noise from the dream faded, leaving us in a blanket of warmth.
“You didn’t need to be here—I know that’s fucking grotesque to see,” he whispered, his voice filled with disgust.
“I’ll always be here when you need me,” I promised, tilting my head up. “I know we can’t sleep together every night, but maybe on the nights I’m not with you, I can be in your dreams like this.”
“I can’t ask that of you, mon ange,” he said, though his eyes shone with hope.
“I’m offering it.”
“Why? Why would you do that, Effie? I don’t want any of this to fucking touch you—”
“Because I love you.”
Caedmon’s body went stock still. I felt a wave of insecurity, not knowing if he felt even slightly similar, but it was true. I loved Caedmon. I loved the man he was. I loved how he’d overcome so much and that despite it scaring him, he was willing to give us a chance.
His eyes flashed gold before swirling a deep purple. “You…you love me?”
I had to stay strong. Caedmon needed to hear this, even if he didn’t feel the same way. He needed to know that someone loved him.
“I love you, Caedmon.”
I couldn’t read the expression on his face, but surprise was there, and maybe a bit of awe.
For sure pain. But when his fingers slid further around my body and lifted me up against him, burying his head against my neck, I relaxed a tiny bit.
I hadn’t expected him to say anything back—I could practically feel the tension rolling off of him—so instead I ran my hand through his hair, trying not to overthink the moment.
“Say it again,” he whispered, his voice rough and almost hard to understand. Pulling back, I studied his face and relaxed even further, seeing the hope there.
“I love you.”
It was like the third time was the charm.
Caedmon broke open. His lips were on me in a demanding, hard kiss as his magic exploded throughout the room, coating me possessively.
I let out a whimper as my legs tightened around him, my back hitting a wall.
I briefly saw the space around us change into a comfortable, warm bedroom, but my attention was fully on Caedmon’s lips and the way he was holding me.
When he ripped them away from me, I felt dazed.
“Fuck,” he hissed, looking frustrated at himself.
“I don’t know what love is, mon ange. I have no fucking idea how to do it or how to not mess this up, but I…
I love you. I love you as much as someone like me can.
It’s probably a twisted, mutated version of what you deserve, but I will give everything I have to you.
I will lay the world at your feet…just don’t stop saying that you love me. ”
“Never,” I whispered, tears of happiness crowding my eyes. “I just need you. If you’re here, I’ll keep saying it because it will never not be true.”
Caedmon inhaled sharply and pressed his forehead to my collarbone, a vibrant string of joy humming through our connection.
I could feel how happy he was, and while the shadows were trying to crawl over the moment, wanting to pull him back into the darkness, our love was stronger.
I surrounded him with my magic, the pink light pushing away anything that could hurt my lycan mate.
I couldn’t say how long we stood just like that, but eventually my eyes closed, and when they opened…
“Morning,” I whispered, my gaze running over Caedmon’s bare chest. The mid-morning light ran over his hair, showcasing the red undertones as he stared down at me with emerald green eyes that seemed lighter, twinkling with an emotion I couldn’t fully grasp.
“Morning, mon ange,” he murmured, pressing forward and kissing me gently. When he pulled back, he ran his hands through my hair, examining it with fascination.
“I like waking up with you.”
His lips pressed into a barely there smile. “You’re always welcome in my bed. You’re welcome anywhere in my life…although, I suppose this is your bed right now.”
My brow dipped as I leaned up to look around, swaths of rich navy and gold brocade draped across the bedposts to create an intimate canopy.
“I don’t even remember when we got here last night. Where are we?” I asked. “Whatever happened there, it really messed my magic up for a while. I was so tired.”
“Well, considering you were transformed from the inside out, that’s not entirely surprising,” Ryder said from the doorway.
Caedmon grunted but let me sit up, keeping his arms wrapped around my waist, as I offered the man a sleepy smile.
“I informed them of everything that happened, including your conversation with Mona.”
“Thank you,” I said, breathing out a sigh of relief. I didn’t mind telling my mates, but I was still so tired. It felt nice that someone else was willing to take that on.
“No problem, kitten. Unfortunately, because you didn’t get a chance to eat—you need to. Now, preferably.”
I could see the concern in his eyes, and once I clued into my other bonds I realized he wasn’t the only one worried.
“Okay,” I said, standing up. Caedmon muttered something in another language but let me go.
I let out a languid stretch before realizing that I had literally only a shirt on.
I blushed and walked over to a pile of clothes as the two of them talked about our plan for the day.
Although I barely caught their words, far too focused on being practically naked around them.
Slipping into the bathroom, I shook my head at how ridiculous I was being. They’d both seen me naked, I just clearly hadn’t gotten that through my head.
I found my toiletry bag on the counter, and after brushing my teeth and washing any sleepiness from my face, I slipped into a comfortable outfit for the day.
My light wash jeans paired with a soft white sweater, along with purple socks and my purple combat boots.
While I hadn’t initially felt comfortable with everything Caedmon wanted to buy me, I wouldn’t deny that I loved what the shopper had chosen—it also showed me just how well my mate knew me.
After a long brush of my hair, I returned to the bedroom, finding it empty, so I continued into the main room of our suite…or house. This could literally be a house.
Holy crap.
I swayed as I took in the beautiful wallpaper, the elegant crystal chandeliers, the expensive furniture, and the massive span of windows showcasing the urban landscape outside. I had thought Ryder’s condo was beautiful, which it was, but there was something about this place that left me breathless.
“Lil bit.” Tore blocked my view of the room as he appeared in front of me, clasping my face gently and searching it. “How did you sleep?”
“Good,” I murmured, my eyes darting over his shoulder. “We’re at a hotel, right?”
“If you can call it that,” Julian mused, motioning me over.
I went on my toes and kissed Tore before slipping past him and walking towards Julian, who sat in front of a massive breakfast spread.
A happy sound left my throat at all the pastries and fresh fruit laid out.
Long forgotten was the luxurious hotel; now my entire focus was on the food around me.
“What’s our plan for today?” I asked, looking down momentarily at the pendant around my neck.
“That is something we haven’t fully decided,” Ryder admitted, stepping out of a secondary bedroom. I could see Caedmon pacing back and forth as he spoke on the phone in a third room, Dakota watching him with concern. I didn’t know who he was talking to, but I guessed it wasn’t good.
“Because we don’t know where we’re supposed to go next to unlock my power?” I guessed.
“Exactly,” Dakota said, Caedmon following him into the room.
“Although that may have been partly solved,” Caedmon said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure how, but my father knows. He knows where we are, and more importantly that we went to see the Homura Stone. I assume he’s in contact with Ryder’s grandfather.”
“Wouldn’t fucking surprise me,” Ryder said, anger flashing across his face before he could push it away. I noticed he did that a lot. Whenever he began to feel extreme emotions, he pushed them down and concealed them with a finely tuned, well-practiced layer of control.
Maybe it was because of how he’d grown up.
Julian handed me another piece of fruit, which I ate immediately. At least eating was a better distraction than dealing with the idea of Caedmon even talking to his father.
“He informed me,” my mate drew out, “that the Fengari Stone is in a town near our estate in Bardelina, around thirty minutes or so away. I’d never heard of it before so I suppose he could be lying, but my father prided himself in living in one of the shifter ‘power centers’ of the world, so I suppose it would make sense. ”
“I didn’t realize these stones were common knowledge,” I said, more than a little perplexed.
“They aren’t—unless you have the money to have that knowledge,” Dakota said. Tore ran a hand over my leg, not saying anything but clearly uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was going.
I swallowed down a sip of tea before meeting Caedmon’s gaze. “I don’t want you to have to go back home, especially if your father is there. Like you said, for all we know he could be lying just to get you there.”
I didn’t normally think that way, but nothing was off limits when it came to someone like his father.
“That’s a complete possibility,” Julian agreed.
Caedmon’s gaze darkened as he looked out the window.
“I don’t disagree, but I think he’s telling the truth this time.
That it’s there. I think he’s just using it to lure us there.
” He heaved a sigh. “We’ve already gone to the first, Effie; we may as well go to the other.
It’s far enough from my house that we should be able to avoid him. ”
“And if he comes and finds us?” Tore asked.
“Then we leave. Effie’s safety comes first,” Caedmon stated definitively. “But I also know she wants to do this, so we’re going to make it happen.”
I didn’t know how to feel at the moment, if we were being honest. I recognized the importance of going, especially after the dreams I’d had, but I also wanted to protect my mate.
I wanted to ask him to stay, to keep himself away from all of it, but I knew that Caedmon would interpret that as me not wanting him around because he wasn’t good enough for me, rather than what it actually was—me trying to protect him.
His perception was skewed by his past, and the last thing I would ever want was to hurt him.
“Alright,” I said softly, “then we go. As long as you’re okay with it.”
“I go where you go.” His voice was so serious that all I could do was nod. Caedmon went where I went. I absolutely loved that.
“That solves the problem of a jet as well,” Ryder said.
Caedmon nodded sharply. “It can be here in an hour.”
Nerves invaded my body.
I was about to see just how different Caedmon’s life was from mine.