Chapter 11
Caedmon Moroz
Effie’s fast, fluttering pulse had my head spinning as I fought for control.
I could feel her pulse right under my lips, and I wanted to bury my teeth inside of her skin.
To mark her. To ensure that no matter what darkness she saw come out of me, we were permanently bonded.
That she would continue to say those sweet words to me.
I love you.
Effie loved me. I still hadn’t been able to process, let alone accept, that concept. But I savored the words and hung onto them like an anchor as I kept her pinned to the wall, refusing to give into the urge to bite her.
Don’t bite her. Don’t fucking bite her—not like this.
My eyes closed, and I repeated the mantra as images—nightmares, really—flashed through my head. Disgust and nausea turned my stomach, hating that Victoria had even filled Effie’s life for a single moment. That she had to hear her voice. That she had to experience her evil and malice.
I’d almost slaughtered Victoria.
If she had touched me, I would have ripped her throat out with my bare hands. I wouldn’t have been able to control it. But like the true angel Effie was, she’d appeared out of nowhere and saved me from myself.
Effie was my salvation. It was that simple and that complicated.
Which didn’t explain the bloodlust surging through me, wanting to mark her throat in such a feral and savage way. I was trembling in my attempt at restraint. I didn’t trust myself alone with this woman, and I could only hope that the others would return before I did something truly unforgivable.
A pained sound left my throat as Effie’s finger slid up the back of my neck, her touch soft and gentle. She had no idea how much danger she was in—it was the only explanation for how she was treating me.
I wanted to scare her. Maybe not want to, but it was like a desperate, clawing urge.
It was my default for Effie, to keep her away, to keep her safe.
But I couldn’t do that anymore. I loved her.
She knew I loved her. I had pledged my life to her, my entire existence.
I wouldn’t push her away…but I didn’t know what to do instead, didn’t know what my new default should be. I was absolutely paralyzed.
“Caedmon.” Her voice was a soft song in my ear. “Come back to me.”
Didn’t she realize I could never leave her? The only things that existed for me on this mortal plane were my nightmares and trauma…and Effie. That was it.
“There’s nowhere else for me.” My voice wasn’t my own.
I had no idea how I was even managing to speak let alone form coherent sentences right now.
My vision was blurring around the edges, dizziness threatening to pull me under.
The memories and nightmares were trying to pound on my skull, demanding my attention—demanding everything.
Suddenly, soft lips pressed against mine. I didn’t move, terrified I would attack her as she pressed another kiss to my lips.
“I don’t know what to do. I’m scared you’re shutting down.”
My eyes snapped open at the fear in her voice, and I inhaled sharply, in awe at the sight of her, a pink glow surrounding my mate and blocking out the entire room.
A calming melody that only Effie could summon began to play softly in the back of my head, the presence of it soothing and causing me to let out a shaky breath.
“I’m here.” I wasn’t positive I really was, though, and Effie knew it. When she gently tugged my hand, leading me down the steps, I followed in a daze, hanging onto the heavenly vision of her. It was the only thing maintaining my sanity. The only thing keeping the darkness away.
“Let’s just sit,” she said as we turned the corner, entering a dark room that I’d seen far too many times. It was a waiting room for several of the torture chambers, and I couldn’t move my gaze to the doors, pretending I didn’t know about the blood-stained walls that laid behind them.
Effie sat on one of the benches and I followed after, except I knelt on one knee in front of her, placing my hands on either side of her hips and hanging my head.
I stared at her light jeans as I tried to maintain some semblance of composure, feeling overwhelmed.
When her soft hands began to run through my hair, I trembled at how good her touch felt.
“I would have slaughtered her,” I said honestly.
“I know,” Effie said, a strange note to her voice. “She doesn’t deserve anything from you, though. Not even that.”
I looked up, scared of what emotion I might find painted on her face…
and was shocked to see fury. Legitimate fury.
In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen my mate this angry, and something about it grounded me.
Something about her strong emotions made me want to be better—to be stronger.
I didn’t want my mate suffering because of me.
That need to make sure she was okay began to solidify everything around me.
The world turned more vibrant, and I let out a shaky exhale as I straightened up, my heart slowly calming.
Effie continued to stare at me with determination and understanding, as if my reaction… as if all of this was understandable.
This woman absolutely leveled me, and in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to lay her out and make love to her. I wanted to love my angel for fucking ever. I knew this wasn’t the place, I would never take her in a space so stained with the horrors, but the next chance we had…
If she wanted me, that was.
I nearly shook my head at that. I knew Effie wanted me. Despite seeing how dark and truly fucked up I was…she wanted me. She saw the darkness and accepted it. Her love was so damn pure, and it absolutely leveled me.
“I love you,” I whispered roughly. “I love you so damn much.”
Her eyes welled with tears, her face crumbling with emotion as she launched herself at me.
I held her tight, kissing her hard as she melted into my embrace.
The relief through our bond made me realize just how worried she had been, and when her magic wrapped around my own, a warmth bathed us, removing the pain in my chest and the physical effects of my panic attack.
I had no idea if she realized she was doing it, but I felt nearly euphoric from it, loving that her magic was so willing to mark me.
That would never cease to shock me.
That someone so pure and beautiful would want to risk interacting with my toxic magic. Not only interact with it but to mark it in such a claiming way.
“Are we good here?” Both of us pulled away to find Julian standing there, relief filling his face, no doubt glad I hadn’t hurt our mate. Dakota was in the doorway as well, but he seemed less surprised, his gaze tracking Effie’s emotions.
I nodded. “Let’s get the fuck out of here—this place is filled with horrible shit. I don’t want you here longer than we need to be, mon ange.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I can feel it.”
We walked back into the foyer, Julian examining Effie’s pendant as she toyed with it.
“You sure you’re okay?” Dakota asked, the two of us a few steps behind.
“I am now,” I got out roughly. “I just…I didn’t expect her to be here.”
Didn’t expect to see her—had prayed I would never have to.
“She’s the one?” Dakota asked, his eyes flashing with true anger. I’d never known how to deal with the loyalty and friendship he showed me. It was one of the reasons I’d pushed him away, freaked out at the prospect of anyone trying to be friends with me.
“Yeah,” I muttered. I had never really confirmed it, but Dakota was aware of what had happened, at least to a small extent. I mean, the fucker could read minds.
“Well then I’m glad she’s dead.”
I froze, afraid to dare hope it was true. “Dead?”
Dakota offered a sharp nod. “Can’t have a predator walking around like that. It’s probably a good thing she decided to off herself with poison, isn’t it?”
Holy fuck.
I nodded, feeling dazed. My biggest question—Who had poison on them?
Effie Harlow
Despite everything that had happened, I felt more confident and sure than ever in our mission.
Ryder’s grandfather had upset me, but seeing Victoria and the type of people Hastain surrounded himself with—like Caedmon’s father—well, that was more motivation than I could ever need.
I kept my chin up as I let my pendant cool in my hand, growing icy as we neared a door to the far left.
I would have thought it was a sign that we were getting farther away, but I had a feeling it was the opposite, considering the nature of the Fengari Stone. It made sense in my head, at least.
Julian was walking next to me, his hand resting on my back, and Caedmon and Dakota walked behind me.
I’d been so damn scared I’d lost Caedmon.
Dakota and Julian had been worried for my safety, but I hadn’t been concerned about that in the least. No, I’d been worried that Caedmon wouldn’t resurface from his state—I’d never seen him like that before. It was like he was just…gone.
I was willing to do anything to help him escape that icy darkness that had drawn him under, drowning him, even when his teeth had been at my throat. But he had pulled himself back, and the relief I’d felt was something I would never forget for the rest of our lives.
“I think it’s through this door.” I looked back at Caedmon. “Ever been through here?”
“Never. None of these, actually,” he said, glancing at the nearby doors. He’d seemed more familiar with the first few hallways we encountered off the main foyer, so my guess was that those were the rooms that his father had taken him when they visited.
I didn’t let my thoughts stray to what he experienced there. Not until we were out of here and far away from anyone else that could hurt Caedmon.
Julian opened the door I’d pointed out, and I instantly paused at the eerie darkness on the other side. Logically, I knew it was just the lights being off—or I assumed that was the case—but it felt like there was something sinister about it. This wasn’t the right door.