CHAPTER 20
Eve
After being taken in the middle of the night for the second time, I was sore everywhere as I snuck out of Nash’s bed the next morning. I was covered in sweat and come that had dried between my thighs and I felt like a mess as I pulled on my dress from the night before and quietly slipped into my shoes. I needed to go home to shower and check in with Grandpa before the guys woke up and decided they were ready for another round. I knew that if they touched me, I would give in and who knew how long it would be before I was able to get out of their bed again.
I saw Grandpa’s truck was still gone and silently rejoiced as I ran across to our cabin and let myself in. If I’d had to face him…I just wouldn’t have. I was a thousand percent sure I looked like I’d been taken by three men the night before and when I locked myself into the bathroom, I saw I was correct. My hair was in a nest at the top of my head with something suspiciously sticky in it, my face was covered in a light rash from their beards, and there were bite marks and hickeys decorating my neck and shoulders. To top everything off, my lips were also swollen and bruised.
I gasped at my reflection and drew toward the mirror so I could see everything closer. They’d left their mark, that was for sure. I’d never let my ex leave marks on me but as it was happening with the guys, I hadn’t thought twice about it. I just knew everything they did felt amazing and that I wanted more. Even as I stood there, staring at the evidence of what we’d done, I grew wet with desire.
Gripping the sink, I shook my head at myself and blew out a shaky breath. I couldn’t be addicted to sex with them that quickly. I needed to play it cool.
I wanted to listen to music while I showered and check to see if I had a message or call from Grandpa before I did, so I grabbed my phone from my room. I also grabbed clothes, picking something I thought would be cute. I laughed at myself and rolled my eyes. I couldn’t even pretend like I wasn’t dressing to make the guys look twice.
I turned on the hot water and checked my phone as I undressed. No missed calls or messages from Grandpa. There was a single message, though, and as I opened and read it, I felt my stomach sink and my body erupt in anxious tingles. Of all the days to get a message from my ex, he’d somehow managed to send it on the worst one.
I hadn’t heard from Mark in months. The last time I’d reached out to him, embarrassingly a month after his wedding, he’d ignored me. Yet, there he was, sending me a text the morning after I’d let myself move on.
I found the mug we bought at that apple orchard in New Hampshire. I know I should get rid of it, but I can’t. The memories are too good.
Shame slammed into me, right along with the memories he meant. After picking too many apples and having an amazing day, Mark and I had gotten lost on the way back to the city and spent the night in his backseat. We’d eaten apples and had sex until the sun came up. It was the night he’d first told me he loved me.
I tossed the phone down on the counter and stepped into the stream of scalding hot water. I didn’t want to think about that night with Mark. I didn’t want to think about him at all. Especially after I’d finally slept with someone new.
Like a tidal wave, the heartache I’d felt every day over the previous year came rushing back. I’d been madly in love with Mark before I moved back to Harmony Valley. I’d wanted forever with him. The breakup hadn’t felt like a breakup at first, but a ‘see you later’. I had almost expected him to fly out to be with me after the first week apart. Instead, he’d met and fallen in love with a woman he didn’t need years to know he wanted to be with forever. He’d proposed to another woman while I was still thinking we were going to get back together.
I’d say I was devastated but that would’ve been an understatement. My entire future went up in flames because Mark fell in love with a woman named Stacey he met at a coffee shop. She’d bumped into him and it was love at first sight. I hadn’t been able to look at another man so I couldn’t understand how he could see another woman. In my head, I was still with Mark. I had years of really amazing memories and then…it was just over.
So much of me had believed I was done after that. I didn’t want to date. I didn’t even want to think about marriage, or love, or babies. Which made working hard for a while. That woman who’d moved back to Harmony Valley with hearts in her eyes about the future ceased to exist. The woman who remained in her place was so different she’d gone to bed with three men the night before with no silly ideas of the future.
It was hard not to feel ashamed of myself when I was forced to remember the night after the apple orchard. The woman I’d been that night never would’ve touched the guys next door. She was so deeply in love with one man that she’d tied herself to him for life, even if he’d never proposed.
That text would’ve hurt at any time but getting it while I was still covered in the come of three different men left me hating myself. I scrubbed myself clean and didn’t get out of the shower until the water ran cold and my skin was raw.
I dressed and stared at my reflection with a sour feeling working its way up my throat. The marks covering my neck and shoulders were reminders of how far I’d gone to be someone else, someone who wasn’t still crushed over Mark. I covered them as best as I could and then hurried out to my car. I needed to get away. I couldn’t face the guys when I was feeling the way I was. I couldn’t face what I’d done.
I drove into town and parked outside The One and Only . I could already smell the pies and my stomach growled but I couldn’t force myself out of the car. I thought of Nash’s horrible cooking and the ache in my stomach just grew bigger. I didn’t understand it. As much shame as I felt over the night before, it didn’t tarnish the way I thought of the guys. It was just me I didn’t like.
I rested my head against the seat and sighed. Looking out across the street, I frowned and sat up straight as I spotted a familiar face. Convinced I was imagining things, I got out of my car and jogged closer. “Vera?”