18. Elijah
My breath leaves my body as I spot Alex at the end of the veranda. She’s leaning on the white railing, her ginger hair spilling over her shoulders in perfectly styled waves.
I don’t move for a minute, letting my gaze linger while I take in her beauty. I absorb the image of her, drinking in the fact that she’s real. She’s here. And she’s not a figment of my dreams anymore.
God, I’ve missed her. I’ve missed everything about her—her smile, her laugh, her voice, her teasing jokes and dirty mouth—I’ve missed it all. She’s all that I’ve been able to think about. And the minute I saw her at the bar, I couldn’t stop myself from walking over to her. She was a flame, and I was a moth. I’m helpless when she’s around.
Sensing me staring, her head turns, and our eyes connect. That invisible string between us tugs, and I stick my hands in the pockets of my slacks as I walk to her. I’m glad nobody’s out here but us so I can speak with her freely.
When I reach her, she turns so we’re facing each other, her back pressed against the railing now. Her face is neutral, but I can see the stress in her body. I hate that I’m the one who’s caused it.
“Hello, Alex,” I say after a moment.
“Hi,” she says back, her green eyes staring up at me through thick painted lashes.
“You look stunning.” My gaze drags over her voluptuous form encased in a very tight and very short black cocktail dress.
She tucks some of her hair behind her ear. “Thank you. You look nice, too.”
A smile tugs at my lips as silence envelops us. I think we’re both unsure of how to start.
Eventually, Alex lets out a small sigh. “I didn’t tell my mom anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I’m not thinking that,” I assure her.
“Well, she said we were looking at each other funny. And you didn’t help matters with that wine comment. I think my dad got suspicious, too, if you didn’t notice. But Elijah, I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now. My mom obviously knows something happened between us. I could ask her not to say anything, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. And what were you thinking telling that bartender I’m your wife? Anyone could have heard you!”
Alex’s words spill out of her so fast I hardly have time to take them all in. When my brain catches up, I grasp her biceps and get her to look at me.
“Take a breath, Alex. Everything is going to be okay.”
She scoffs and narrows her eyes at me. “What are you talking about? My dad is going to find out something happened between us, the very thing we wanted to avoid! Especially you.”
“You’re right. It was.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you called me your wife in public and kept staring at me like you could see me without my clothes on!”
I can’t help but smirk at her outburst. But then, her head cocks to the side as she registers my previous words.
“Wait, it was?” she asks. “What do you mean ‘it was’?”
“When I heard you were going to be here tonight, I asked Oliver if I could still get a ticket. He thought it was to support him, which it was. I did and do always want to support him. But I wanted to see you.”
“Um, what?” she asks, blinking up at me.
I release her arms and take a step forward, testing the boundaries between us. When she doesn’t try to get away, I place my hands on the railing on either side of her, caging her in so our bodies meld together. A gentle gasp leaves her mouth, and I instantly feel as if my body has found its home again.
I inhale her rose scent and smile, our faces only inches apart. “Ever since we left the lake house, I can’t stop thinking about you. I was an idiot to leave you that way. I was so caught up in what us being together would mean for my relationship with Oliver and my work that I didn’t think of your feelings. Or my feelings, for that matter. I love Oliver like a brother, but I can’t deny that what we have, Alex—it’s special. It’s not something I ever should’ve walked away from. It’s been eating me up inside.”
Her chest rises and falls in choppy movements. That red flush I love so much blooms up from the neckline of her dress and over her freckled chest.
“But Stephanie said you were doing well, that you took on more creative projects at work. That Dad thinks you should go to the lake house more often because of how different you were when you came back.”
I stroke my knuckle down the side of her face. “You inspired me to start living my life the way I want, Alex. But it’s not complete without you.”
“Then why haven’t you called or tried to contact me?”
“Because I’m a coward. And if I’m being honest, I thought you wouldn’t want me after how we left things. But then Oliver brought you up, and I knew this was my chance to see you again. To talk with you, if you’d let me.”
She swallows, her features tense. “And now, after calling me your wife and a few longing glances, you think I do want you?”
My heart thuds in my chest, and I drop my hand from her face. She’s right. Just because I finally grew a pair doesn’t entitle me to her. I was a fool to think that she’d simply walk back into my arms again after I explained myself. Maybe after we left, she realized the weekend was just a fun break from reality like we had originally planned it to be.
“Alex,” I murmur. “I’m sorry for hurting you. And if you want me to walk away from this, I will. But I need you to know that if you still want to try to make this work, I’ll walk in and tell Oliver right now that I’m in love with you.”
Her green eyes go impossibly wide, and her mouth parts at my declaration. But I’m telling the truth. I know now that I loved her the first time I saw her. The last month away has only solidified my feelings. That time showed me that I wasn’t just searching for what life had to offer me. I was searching for Alex.
“You love me?” she asks, her eyes glassy.
I dare to cup her cheek, my body relaxing when she leans into my touch. “I don’t care if it sounds crazy, but I love you, Alex Martin. And I don’t give a fuck if people don’t like it.”
“But your job?”
“I can always get a new job, Alex.”
“And my dad?”
I step closer to her so our bodies are once again melded together. Then I speak very clearly to be certain she understands me. “If your dad loves either of us, he’ll understand.”
“And if he doesn’t understand?”
“Then I’ll leave it up to you to decide what you want to do. But either way, I’m in this with you, Alex, if you’ll have me. I’ll only walk away if you tell me to.”
A tear drops down her cheek, and I catch it with my thumb.
“You’d really give up all that for me?” she asks after a moment, her voice watery.
I put my other hand on her cheek and rest our foreheads together. “I’d do anything for you, Alex.”
“Then kiss me,” she breathes out. “Show me how much you love me.”
My heart hammers in my ears as I slide my fingers into her hair and grip the back of her head. I bring our lips together, sealing my mouth over hers, capturing the small moan that leaves her. When Alex runs her tongue along the seam of my lips and dives into my mouth, something unlocks inside of us, and we become unleashed.
A month of being apart spills out of us, and I press her back into the railing, her breasts compressing against my chest as her hands find my waist, pulling me into her. Our tongues tangle, and the taste of her mixed with the notes of wine she drank overtakes my senses. I become drunk on her, the way she feels against me, the rose smell of her perfume, the softness of her skin. I don’t know how I lasted a month away from her, but I never want to be without her again.
Alex’s hands grip my ass, and she grinds into me. “Elijah,” she exhales as she breaks our kiss. “Tell me you love me again.”
I suck on the pulse point of her neck then kiss back up her throat. “I love you, Alex. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
She groans a noise that goes straight to my cock, and then she’s crushing her lips over mine, taking control of the kiss. She runs her hands up my back, pulling me closer as we grind against each other and make out like teenagers.
“I missed you, Mr. Serious,” she says as we pull away for air. Her hand slips under the lapel of my suit coat, and then she’s playing with the top of my leather belt.
“I missed you, too, dirty girl.”
She grins wickedly at me, her fingers teasing my lower stomach through my shirt. I look around to see if anyone’s here, but we’re still alone.
Alex nips at my neck, and then I take her lips again. My hand runs down the plush curve of her waist, and when I meet the skin of her thigh, she whimpers into my mouth. She opens to me, and I consume her, her hand slipping under my belt buckle and our bodies moving against each other.
“I need you, Elijah,” she pleads between kisses.
I move my hand to her neck and press my thumb into the column of her throat. “You have me.”
She shakes her head. “No, I—”
“Elijah!” a booming voice yells.
Alex and I naturally jump apart from the scare, but I quickly recover and grab her hand. I turn my body to face who I already know is moving toward us.
“Let me handle him, okay?” Alex asks. We’re both watching Oliver, who is angrily stalking toward us with a sympathetic-looking Stephanie trailing behind him.
I squeeze Alex’s hand. “We’ll handle him together.”
She gives me a weak smile, looking thoroughly kissed and pink-cheeked. I’m fairly certain I’m wearing some of the pink lipstick that’s missing from her lips, which will not help us in the slightest. But I can’t find it within myself to care. I need my friend to understand that I love Alex. That he’s going to have to get used to it.
“Get your hands off my daughter, Astor!” Oliver yells as he meets us.
“Oliver—” I start to say, but Alex steps in front of me and holds a calming hand up to him.
“Stop it, Daddy.” He blinks at her as if her calling him “Daddy” instead of “Dad” has snapped him out of his rage. “Take a breath, and let’s speak like adults,” she warns evenly.
Pride swells in my chest, and I grip Alex’s hand tighter. Oliver glances down at it then looks back up at us, his brow furrowed.
“Tell me what’s going on, Elijah. Tell me why you’re attacking my daughter!”
“Oliver!” Stephanie chides him. “Be reasonable.”
“I am being reasonable! I’m the only sane person here right now!”
“Dad,” Alex tries again. “Elijah wasn’t attacking me. We’re together.”
Both Stephanie’s and Oliver’s mouths drop open a bit. But Stephanie seems more pleased than anything else, which surprises me. It’s nice to know she’ll be on our side in this.
“Together?! Have you lost your minds?” Oliver shouts.
Alex moves into my side, and I release her hand so I can wrap my arm around her shoulders. Then she speaks, her voice calm and sure. “I’m perfectly sane, unless being in love counts as insanity.”
Stephanie sucks in a breath, and I think my best friend’s head is about to pop off. But my heart is beating so loudly in my ears that I can’t focus on his anger, because Alex said she’s in love with me. Alex Martin is in love with me.
“In love?! Are you trying to kill me? Because I’m going to have a heart attack right now, Alex.”
“Oliver, don’t joke like that,” Stephanie chides.
“I’m in love with Elijah, Dad. And you’re not going to have a heart attack. Like I said, you’re going to take a breath, and we’re going to talk about this.”
Oliver’s fists clench at his sides. His green eyes are looking from Alex to me then to Stephanie then back to Alex again.
“Help me understand. I—” He pauses, his eyes connecting with mine once more. “You’re my friend, Elijah. How could you?”
“I’m still your friend, Oliver. And we didn’t do this to hurt you.”
“No. A friend wouldn’t do something like this,” he says, his tone serious.
“Oliver, I—”
“How did this even happen?” He cuts me off, his cheek reddening.
“It happened at the lake house last month,” Alex replies.
Oliver’s lips press together, and he glares at me. “When Alex texted Stephanie of our mistake, I thought I could trust you to stay there and be a gentleman. Instead, you—you—” He huffs. “I trusted you with my daughter, Elijah.”
“And you can still trust me with her. We did nothing wrong. We’re consenting adults.”
“You’re fifteen years older than her!”
“Dad,” Alex says, “I know this is hard for you to accept. You shouldn’t have found out like this. But it’s…” Alex looks up at me. “It’s complicated.”
“Have you been seeing each other behind my back this entire month?” Oliver asks after a moment. His tone is more level now but still filled with a disappointment that sours my stomach.
“No. Like I said, it’s complicated. But you can trust Elijah, Dad. He’s done nothing wrong. If anything, he’s the one who was afraid of being with me because of your relationship. We both tried to stop something like this from happening, but…” Alex gazes at me again, her eyes warm and hopeful.
“But I was wrong to do that,” I say firmly, pulling Alex into my side, trying to convey to her how much I need her, how sorry I am that this is happening this way right now. But I’m not sorry for kissing her tonight, for telling her I love her.
“Don’t look at her like that!” Oliver snaps. Alex smiles gently then turns to face her father again.
“I don’t expect you to understand right now, and I know this is going to take some getting used to, but I know you love me. And I know you love Elijah. Isn’t that enough for now?”
Stephanie steps up and lays a hand on Oliver’s shoulder. “You wanted Alex to find someone good, someone worthy of her. Elijah is someone good, Oliver. He’s your friend, so you know what kind of man he is.”
The air around us goes heavy with silence, and for a moment, I think that this is it. This is the end of my friendship with Oliver, the end of my job and life as I know it. But then Alex rests her head against my shoulder, and warmth fills my body along with a knowingness I can’t explain. It tells me that as long as I have her, nothing is the end. Everything is a beginning.
“You really love each other?” Oliver asks, his voice resigned.
Alex looks up at me, her green eyes wide and hopeful. I kiss the crown of her head, and she exhales a happy sound before meeting her father’s gaze. “Yes, Dad. I love Elijah.”
“And I love Alex,” I confirm. The weight of our words hang in the air.
Oliver presses his lips together and sticks his hands in his pockets. “I need some time.”
“That’s understandable,” I say. “Just know that I won’t do anything to hurt Alex. At least not intentionally,” I swear. “And I really didn’t do this to hurt you, Ollie. I care about your daughter. I care about you.”
He searches my eyes for a lie before he expels a long sigh. “I know.” He clears his throat. “I’m going to head home; I need to process this.”
I nod at my longtime friend, knowing there isn’t much else I can say right now. When Oliver’s eyes meet Alex’s, she steps out of my embrace and pulls her father into her arms.
She hugs him tightly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Then he pulls back and grabs Stephanie’s hand. “Call me tomorrow,” he says to Alex. “And I’ll see you on Monday, Astor.”
He turns on his heel, and Stephanie looks at us over her shoulder with a broad smile. She makes the “call me” motion to Alex before they step back inside, which has us both chuckling quietly.
When they’re safely out of sight, I tug Alex into my arms and rest my chin on her head, taking in her scent, her warmth.
“Tell me you love me again,” she murmurs against my chest.
“I love you, Alex.”
She hums, kissing the space over my heart. “I love you, too, Elijah.”