Chapter 8 Lucian
LUCIAN
The snow fell harder now, thick flakes coating the windows of my penthouse as I stared out at the Chicago skyline.
January was leaving with a vengeance, turning the city into a frozen wasteland of gray and white. I held a tumbler of whiskey, letting the burn ground me before the conversation I dreaded having.
My ex-wife had requested this meeting through a carefully worded text that left no room for refusal. The children were involved, which meant I'd have to listen to whatever manipulation she'd crafted this time.
But they were important to me and I'd spent enough time making my work more important than real-life issues. I had to give my ex-wife face time and try to settle this the mature way before she escalated it into some sort of drama that would only make things worse.
I finished my drink and grabbed my coat, heading downstairs to the waiting car. The Signature Room occupied the ninety-fifth floor of the John Hancock Building.
I typically reserved it for business dinners, but when Viktoria barked I heeled—it was the nature of our relationship.
I arrived first, claiming a corner table with a view of the city lights.
The hostess knew me by name and to keep my table private and my glass full.
Viktoria appeared twenty minutes later, drawing stares as she crossed the room.
At forty-five, she remained stunning—blonde hair swept into an elegant chignon, her figure maintained through personal trainers and careful dieting.
She had always been as beautiful as dawn over the ocean, but beauty is sometimes skin deep and what lurked under that exterior was caustic and toxic.
"Lucian." She settled into the chair across from me while going to great lengths to draw every bit of attention she could.
Every movement she made was exaggerated and dramatic, from the way she positioned her purse on the table next to her so everyone could see the Chanel buckle, to the way she undid her coat and fanned it out so her Casper suit was visible and the thick perfume that was no doubt just as pricey wafted out toward any and all who dared near her.
"You look well." The lie came easily. She looked tired beneath the makeup, her smile too bright, the meticulous attention to fashion too forced. I felt sorry for her, yet I understood at the same time.
In my previous life with her, it had all been like this for both of us. I went through some sort of middle-age metamorphosis for years, however, and none of those things meant anything to me anymore. But she was still stuck in the same mindset as the day we graduated college.
"Flattery won't make this conversation easier." She signaled the waitress for wine, then folded her hands on the table. "The children are worried."
"About?"
"Your recent… entertainment." She made a point to let her eyes sweep the room before she looked me directly in the eye.
My fingers tightened around my glass. "Be specific."
"Blake heard from a friend whose father works at Cross Capital.
Apparently, there's talk about you and a young woman.
Someone who's been getting special treatment, traveling with you, attending meetings she has no business being in.
" Viktoria's blue eyes studied my face, looking for tells.
"They're worried about the family reputation.
" If anyone could read me like a book, it was the woman to whom I'd spent years locked in a lifeless marriage.
As if she gave a damn about family reputation when she was feeding lies to divorce attorneys and tabloid reporters. "The children are adults. They can form their own opinions." I sipped my wine coolly, but I already regretted coming here.
She was going to make my evening miserable and there was nothing I could do about it.
"Can they? Because Elena called me in tears last week, convinced you're having some midlife crisis that will end up splashed across every gossip blog in the city. They remember what the divorce did to their social standing. They don't want to go through that again."
"Their trust funds are secure. Their futures are secure. What I do in my private time is none of their concern." I felt my temper starting to flare up against what I knew was right.
Viktoria was their mother, and her concern, while probably more faked than anything in order to get dirt on me for her own selfish reasons, was legitimate in part.
Blake and Elena had suffered during our divorce, and kids remember that sort of stuff. Though, it wouldn't have been nearly as bad if Viktoria had kept her trap shut.
"Everything you do affects them, Lucian. You know that." She leaned forward, her voice dropping. "Who is she?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not seeing anyone." My chest constricted as I thought of beautiful Tessa and the way our bodies seemed to ignite every time we were in close proximity. "And even if I were, it's not your business." It wasn't a lie, was it?
"It is when it threatens our children's stability. Is it serious?"
I kept my face neutral, but internally, I was thinking about who'd been talking.
Jamie in accounting, probably, or one of the junior analysts who'd noticed Tessa traveling with me.
Office gossip moved faster than stock prices, and I'd been careless.
But Tessa was nothing more than an intern to me and an assistant. We'd made that painfully clear during office hours, no matter how hard my dick got when she wore that blue dress that hugged her hips and made her tits look so perky.
"You're deflecting," Viktoria continued. "Which means it is serious. God, Lucian, please tell me you haven't lost your mind over some twenty-something gold-digger."
"Watch yourself." The warning came out low and dangerous.
She sat back, recognizing the tone. During our marriage, she'd learned when to push and when to retreat. "I'm trying to protect our family," she said more softly, but I knew how she was too.
She was nosing around for dirt and nothing more. If she could find some way to make me look bad, as a shareholder, she had leverage. I hated that fact, but I couldn't change it.
"Our family dissolved eight years ago."
"Our children didn't." Her wine arrived, and she took a careful sip.
"Look, I understand the appeal. Young, pretty, probably worships the ground you walk on.
But these things always end badly, especially when there's a power imbalance.
The board won't overlook misconduct, no matter how much money you've made them. "
"Since when do you care about my relationship with the board?
" Finishing my wine, I jerked my chin up at the waitress while she was still here and she refilled it for me.
I was fuming internally at how fast this all happened, especially given how careful we'd been.
But we never had to cross a single line for people in my office to spread rumors.
For all they knew, it was entirely untrue, and they were just being total jerks.
In this case, they happened to be right and never even knew it yet.
"Since Blake and Elena's inheritance depends on your continued success." She set down her glass. "And since I know you well enough to recognize when you're in over your head."
"I'm not—"
"You are. I can see it in your face, the way you're sitting, the way you've been avoiding my questions. You care about her. That makes you weak."
I drained my wine, considering my next words carefully. Viktoria had always been perceptive, had always known how to read people. It was what made her dangerous.
"My personal life is no longer your concern," I said finally. "The children are grown. They can handle whatever gossip comes their way."
"Can they? Elena's already had photographers following her to class. Blake's friends are asking questions. How long before this becomes a full-scale scandal?"
"There won't be a scandal if people mind their own business. Besides the fact that I'm not seeing anyone seriously. I am mentoring a young analyst who shows promise, and nothing more." The words sounded wrong coming out of my mouth. It made something twist uncomfortably in my chest.
"People don't mind their own business, Lucian. Not when it comes to you." She touched the diamond necklace at her throat. "Besides, I'm seeing someone new myself."
"Good for you."
"He's thirty-two."
The hypocrisy hit me immediately. "Interesting." I scoffed and shook my head as I looked out the window, but my eyes were fixed on her reflection there, not the lights twinkling in the distance. She was smirking.
So she can date a man fourteen years younger and that's okay, but if I attempt an age gap, I'm a bad person?
"It's different."
"How?" I ask, turning back to face her as her hardened expression returns.
"I'm not his boss. I'm not risking his career or mine. And I'm not parading him around business functions where people will talk." She finished her wine, then checked her watch. "I have to go. He's taking me to the symphony."
"Viktoria."
She paused, halfway out of her chair.
"The children will be fine. They always are."
"I hope you're right." She gathered her purse, then looked at me one more time. "For their sake, I hope you know what you're doing."
After she left, I sat in the empty booth, staring at the city lights and wondering why fate was always so cruel to me. The bar had grown crowded, filled with couples and business dinners, the low hum of conversation mixing with soft jazz.
I ordered another glass of wine and pulled out my phone because after that showdown, I needed to see Tessa just to convince myself I wasn't completely senile and she really did want me.
Lucian: 9:47 PM: Can you come to the penthouse?
I stewed, wondering if I'd been making things up or if Tessa was as attracted to me as I was to her.
How I let Viktoria get under my skin was beyond me, but she had, and I hated it.
Tessa: 9:52 PM: Everything okay?
When Tessa did respond, I instantly felt better. I did have to warn her about this new development, but more than that, I needed release, and I knew how amazing she made me feel. In more than just a sexual way.
Lucian: 9:53 PM: I need to see you.
Tessa: 9:55 PM: On my way.
I finished my drink and left cash on the table, then took a cab back to my building.
The elevator ride to the penthouse felt longer than usual, my mind replaying Viktoria's words.
The children were worried. The board was watching. People were talking.
Two months ago, those concerns would've been enough to make me end whatever this was with Tessa. I'd built my entire life around control, around managing perceptions and minimizing risk.
A relationship with my assistant was the definition of reckless.
But I couldn't bring myself to care anymore.
I changed out of my suit into jeans and a sweater, then grabbed a bottle of Macallan and headed to the terrace.
The January air bit through my clothes, but I needed the cold to clear my head.
Chicago spread out below me, a grid of lights, and I thought about how everything had changed since Christmas.
Tessa arrived thirty minutes later, let in by the doorman. I heard her call my name, and her footsteps paused when she found the terrace doors open.
Moments later, I heard rustling and sensed more than saw her step onto the terrace.
"Lucian? What are you doing out here? It's freezing."
I turned to find her silhouetted in the doorway, her hair loose around her shoulders, concern written across her face. She wore a long coat over dark jeans and boots, her cheeks pink from the cold air outside.
"Come here."
She stepped onto the terrace, wrapping her arms around herself. "You're going to get pneumonia."
"I needed air." I set down my glass and reached for her, pulling her against me. She was warm and solid and her perfume tickled my nose as I leaned into her.
"What happened?" Her hands found my chest, but she didn't push me away as I wrapped my arms around her.
I looked down at her face, at the way her eyes searched mine for answers.
Two months ago, I'd have handled Viktoria's concerns alone, would've made decisions about my life without consulting anyone.
Now, standing here with Tessa in my arms, I realized how much had changed.
"My ex-wife reminded me why I don't let people close." My words came out as a growl as I buried my face in her hair and tangled my fingers in it at the nape of her neck. "But with you, I can't seem to help myself."
She went very still against me, her breath visible in small puffs between us. "Lucian…"
"People are talking. About us, about your traveling with me. Viktoria thinks I'm having a midlife crisis."
"Are you?"
I pulled back and studied her face, looking for judgment or fear, but found only curiosity.
Internally, I did a check and realized I wasn't sure. I didn't feel panicked or out of control about anything.
I hadn't been worrying about aging or life passing me by, but Viktoria had a point—that I was taking risks I normally wouldn't have.
"Maybe." I brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek. "Does that scare you?"
"Should it?"
"Probably." I leaned down, pressing my forehead against hers. "This is complicated, Tessa. More complicated than either of us planned."
"I know."
"Do you?" My hands slid downward and tightened on her waist. "Because once people start paying attention, they don't stop. And I can't protect you from all of it."
She was quiet for a long moment, her hands still pressed against my chest. "What did she want?"
"To warn me. To make sure I wasn't doing anything that would embarrass the children or damage their social standing." I chuckled at the absurdity considering how much she herself had damaged them. "She's dating a thirty-two-year-old."
"Oh."
"The hypocrisy is astounding."
Tessa pulled back to look at me. "What did you tell her?"
"Nothing. But she knows anyway. She can read me too well."
"And now?"
"Now I decide whether I care more about keeping everyone else comfortable or keeping our arrangement.
" How had I grown attached to this woman in such a short time after telling myself and her that we were going to keep it professional at work, that this was just sex?
My obsessive trait had consumed me so quickly.
Tessa's eyes widened, and I realized I'd revealed more than I'd meant to. But standing here, with her warm against me and the city lights stretching out below us, I couldn't bring myself to take it back.