14. Jack
14
JACK
I walked into the room, coffee in hand, and found Chen and Briggs already waiting. They were reviewing the charts for our bowel resection case, a bad biopsy from the week before that had led us here. Normally, Sophia would be hunched over her notes, nervously chewing on her lip, but today… She was different. Confident. Composed. Almost unnervingly so.
“Morning, doctors,” I said, setting down my cup. “Let’s hear it. What’s the game plan for the resection?”
Sophia spoke up before I had the chance to make eye contact with anyone. “Well, considering the tumor’s location in the sigmoid colon, we’ll need to perform a segmental resection with primary anastomosis, leaving enough of the healthy bowel to maintain function. I’ve already flagged potential complications—perforation, anastomotic leak, post-op ileus—and we’ll need to closely monitor for ischemia post-surgery.”
I raised an eyebrow. "Good catch on the complications, Dr. Chen. And what about the margins?”
She didn’t even blink. “We’ll aim for at least five centimeters clear on either side of the tumor to reduce the chance of recurrence. I’ve prepped the patient file for the OR and made sure blood products are on standby, in case we hit any unexpected bleeding.”
I glanced over at Dr. Briggs, who was flipping through the chart with a furrowed brow, clearly trying to keep up. “Dr. Briggs, thoughts?”
He cleared his throat, a bit slower to respond than usual. “Uh, right. Well, I mean, what she said. Plus, we should, uh, consider the patient’s age and comorbidities. Might complicate recovery, right?” It was odd to see him as the one squirming and uncomfortable.
“Right.” I nodded, waiting for more. “And?”
He fumbled for a moment. “And… we need to ensure adequate pain management, post-op fluids, and… you know, the standard stuff.”
Sophia shot him a brief glance, not smug, but certainly more in control than I’d ever seen her. It was enough to make him tighten his grip on the file. I wondered what had gotten into her. In the past ten days, she'd been coming out of her shell more and more, and I wondered if it was the one-on-one coaching or something more.
“Well, it sounds like you’ve both got the basics down,” I said, not bothering to hide the amusement in my voice. “Dr. Chen, anything you’d add?”
She didn’t hesitate. “I’ve already discussed the case with anesthesiology and flagged the patient’s mild COPD. They’re ready to modify the ventilation plan accordingly.”
Dr. Briggs shifted, clearly annoyed. “Right, of course. I mean, I was gonna mention that.”
I looked at him, then back at Sophia, who, for once, wasn’t second-guessing herself. “Good work, both of you. Looks like the roles are reversing a bit today, huh, Dr. Briggs?”
He forced a smile, but there was a tinge of frustration behind it. “Yeah, seems like it. Dr. Chen’s on fire this morning.”
Sophia smiled politely but kept her eyes on the patient’s chart, pretending not to notice his irritation.
“Alright,” I said, standing up and grabbing my coffee. “Let’s get this patient through surgery without any surprises. You’re both scrubbing in. Dr. Chen, you can lead the resection prep.”
Dr. Briggs’s expression didn’t change, but I could almost hear the gears grinding in his head.
Sophia nodded, calm as ever. “I’m ready, Dr. Thornton.”
And for the first time, I didn’t doubt her.
I let Dr. Briggs head out while Sophia and I lingered for a moment in the doctors’ lounge. She stacked her notebook on her tablet and put her pen into her pocket and then hugged her things to her chest and started for the door, but I couldn't put my finger on what I found so uncomfortable with this shift in her demeanor.
"Dr. Chen, can we speak?" I turned over my shoulder in time to see her pause by the door and turn back to me.
"Of course," she said politely and hovered there. I glanced around the room and ensured we were alone and gestured with my head for her to come back.
Sophia walked over to me and stood over me, and I tried to keep myself composed. For the most part, I had been able to handle myself and push away my desire for her. At times, she was distracting in a good way, helping me stay not so serious that I took the job too personally, but not distracting enough to cause us issues. But after that sex in my office, she had changed. I didn't dislike it, but it was noticeable now.
"What's going on?" I asked, and she blinked rapidly.
"What do you mean?" Sophia looked around, and I noticed the way her bottom lip drew into her mouth between her teeth. My eyes fell there, and I had to fight the urge to stay fixed on her mouth. I wanted her again so badly I could taste it, but she was too obvious. Her entire demeanor had shifted, and even Dr. Briggs was noticing.
"I mean, quiet, backward Sophia vanished and this.” I swept my hand up and down, gesturing from her head to her feet.
"I'm sorry, I just feel more confident, I guess." Her smile was brilliant, and I loved seeing this side of her. But she suddenly got a little flustered and her cheeks tinged pink.
I stood and sighed. "Because we had sex?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. I knew that was the case. She felt safer with me now, which meant she felt more confident in general, and that was contributing to her superior performance. While all of that was a good thing, the foundation of it wasn't. If that foundation crumbled—which it would the instant anyone found out and told the board we had sex—her confidence would plummet again.
"No, well… No.” She shook her head, and it drooped.
"Sophia, it can't happen.” I was tearing my own heart out by saying it, but it was the truth. We could not entertain the idea of a relationship or even a fling. Even the positive changes it could have between us were bad. They were affecting her performance at work and at times, they were distracting to me.
"I know," she said sadly, and she nodded her head at me. "I'm sorry.” I hated that she was a wilting flower, retreating inward into her mind where in her own eyes, she wasn't capable. I wished that I could make it different for her, somehow speak life into her in a way that was ethical and professional and gave her the same confidence boost—without breaking hospital policy.
"Look, I have some free time tonight. You and I should do some one-on-one. How does that sound? I'll order pizza." I intended this time to keep it fully professional and make sure we focused on education. I had a simulator on my laptop. I'd been dying to have her try it out.
"Yes, I have time," she said, but the zest was gone from her tone. "I better go do pre-op." Sophia threw a thumb over her shoulder and backed away, and I felt sorry for taking the wind out of her sails, but it was for the best.
The farther we got from the topic of our having sex, the better. The more space we put between ourselves, the more clearly we'd see that it would never work. Because of our age difference, because of my little girl and the custody issue, because of our job, and most importantly, because if I didn't get her out of my head, I was going to make a mistake that might really hurt someone on my surgical table.