27. Sophia
27
SOPHIA
I lay curled in a ball on the guest bed in my parents' house stuck in my head. When Jack never came back to the ER yesterday to check on me, I had no choice but to go with my parents. I agreed to Dad's orders with only a bit of frustration, but after he had doubled back and given me his blessing to stay here in Denver, I felt I owed him that much. But it left me feeling uneasy and worried.
Jack just found out he was going to be a father all over again, something I wasn’t sure he was ready for. And while his reaction to the news seemed to be positive at first, I knew it had the potential to really mess things up. And on top of all of that, when I left the hospital, I hadn't brought my phone with me. It was locked in my locker with my street clothes where I left it so Jack had no way to contact me, and I wasn't about to use my parents' phone to call him.
I sighed and turned over, staring up at the ceiling in the dark room. Maylin would be home soon for her visit with the family this weekend. She'd hear how I passed out at work and wonder what was going on with me. I'd hidden the prenatals, so that wasn't going to be an issue. The problem would be lying to her and convincing her that I was just tired and exhausted, especially given how emotional I'd been. She'd see right through it.
She and I told each other everything, really, and I felt so full of stress and worry about everything that I didn’t know what to do. I wanted someone to talk to. Someone who knew my parents well enough to know how they'd respond to me when I confessed that Id' slept with my boss, gotten pregnant, tanked my entire career, put his custody of his own daughter in jeopardy, and all of this while I defied my own parents. If anyone would sympathize with me, it was Maylin.
I dozed off somewhere in late afternoon, and when I woke up it was to the sound of the front door shutting loudly. Mom and Dad greeted my sister, and then I heard hushed talking. They thought I was resting and probably didn't realize that I could tell they were talking about me. My suspicions were confirmed when someone knocked on the door and it started to open. For a second I thought it was Mom, so I pretended to be sleeping. But Maylin whispered my name and I opened my eyes.
She slipped into the room and turned on the light, and I scooted over in bed for her to join me. Her expression was one of sympathy and concern, but I knew when she heard what a mess I'd made of my life, she'd be as nervous as I was. Choosing my own career path was one thing. A baby was next-level trouble.
"Hey, Mom said you passed out at work?" She folded the blanket back long enough to stretch out next to me and then covered herself up.
"Yeah," I mumbled, and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "I did."
Maylin sighed and propped her head on the heel of her palm, her elbow buried in the pillow. I thought of her life and how she did every single thing my parents wanted her to, though she did a bit of sneaking around too, like any college student. Andrew and Thomas had been little miniatures of my father. They still were, despite a few times of rocking the boat. I seemed to be the wild child, pushing back, making my own way. I wondered if Maylin was happy just doing what she was told or if she wanted to be free to make her own choices too. I wondered if I was making it harder for her now or if by my example of breaking free, she'd be able to choose boldness and carve her own way.
"What happened?" she asked me quietly, and I figured if I could hear them talking outside my room, there was a chance Mom was eavesdropping. The idea of their overhearing me made me feel so anxious, but I had to get this off my chest. It wasn't exactly how I wanted my parents to find out, but at least if Mom was listening in, I wouldn’t have to see the initial shock and disappointment in her eyes.
I sighed hard and lowered my voice further, to almost a whisper. "Well, they said I'm anemic. They told Mom and Dad it's because of exhaustion."
"But?" she prompted, glancing at the door. With the light on in here, I couldn’t see if there was a shadow on the door from the crack underneath.
"But I'm pregnant." My hand shot out to cover her mouth, and I raised my eyes in hopes she'd get the point. She started to squeal but silenced herself and nodded in understanding. Then I lowered my hand and closed my eyes. "And yes, before you ask, it's Dr. Thornton." I couldn't look her in the eye and admit that she'd gotten to me, but a dumb smile did stretch across my face.
"Oh, you little vixen!" Maylin pushed my shoulder playfully and then hissed, "Does he know?"
Sucking in a breath, I nodded, and then I slowly looked up at her. "He found out yesterday when I was in the ER, but then Mom and Dad showed up and he had to rush out. I don't even know what he really thinks about it and I'm terrified Dad is going to completely freak."
"Oh, he is." She raised one eyebrow and I moaned.
"Thanks for your kind sympathy and encouragement," I said sarcastically.
"Well, what did you think would happen? Why weren't you careful?" The tone she had was more of sisterly concern than a lecture, but the words still stung. We had been careful but not careful enough. And I hadn't thought about anything except my desire for him and how he was looking at me.
"Just tell me you're not disappointed in me too.” My body felt like it'd been through a war. I was constantly nauseous, exhausted, achy, and my boobs hurt so bad as the hormones made them swell. I just needed some sort of ray of sunshine.
"Disappointed? Soph, you have just made me look like the poster child for perfection." She chuckled, but then rested her hand on my shoulder. "For real, though, I'm glad you broke out of your stodgy mold and did something fun for yourself. You deserve to be happy. I'm sorry it's going to come with such a huge weight of responsibility, but hopefully, that man helps you."
"Yeah," I mumbled, knowing Jack would definitely pull his weight. He loved Leah, and something told me when the shock of this wore off, he'd love my baby too. I just didn’t know if it was the end of our relationship or the start of something amazing now. And since I didn't have my phone, there really was no way to find out.
"Hey, look at the bright side.”
"What bright side?" I asked her, rolling my eyes.
"Now I can screw up a little more and still not be as bad as you." Maylin winked at me, and I chuckled. If the only thing to come of this with Mom and Dad was that Maylin had a lighter standard on her shoulders and they judged her a little less harshly, it was positive. I just wasn’t sure I was going to live through the lectures when they figured out what was going on and were so crushed their perfect daughter had fallen from her pedestal.
"He's so perfect, May-May." I whimpered after I spoke, and she curled her arm under her head and rested fully on the pillow, listening to me. "We have so much in common, and he is smart and funny. Sure, he has a kid, but she's great too, and I think she likes me. And we can talk for hours without being bored of each other. We have the same interest and hobbies, and?—"
"And it sounds like you're totally in love with him." She interrupted me, and it made me start crying again. I felt like I'd been crying for weeks now, every time I thought about how much I loved Jack and how much I wanted him to be my forever.
"Yes," I wailed, and she sighed.
"Does he know this? Are you guys serious about having something?" Her honest questions struck a chord with me. If Jack wasn't serious, he'd never have suggested going to HR. He'd have just broken it off with me. But just because he wanted me didn't mean he wanted the ready-made family.
"It's complicated," I told her, and that was the understatement of the year. "I just have to talk to him, but my phone is at work in my locker. They discharged me from the emergency room and I never got to go to the lounge to get it." I pouted out my bottom lip, and she nodded understandingly.
"Well, give yourself some time to think things through and try not to overthink. It will work itself out." Maylin patted my shoulder and rolled off the bed, almost taking the blanket with her. I gripped it and held it across my body as she turned to say, "Coming for dinner? Mom almost had it ready when I got here."
It'd been twenty minutes already, so dinner was probably done, but if I ate anything, I'd start upchucking again. I didn’t need more questions. "No, I'm not hungry. Just tell them I have a headache and I'm going to sleep it off." And when I woke up, I was going to find a way to get to my locker and get my phone and call Jack. The fear of the unknown was killing me.
Maylin stood at the door and said, "Go easy on yourself, Sis. You're human." Then she walked out. I knew my secret was safe with her, but it couldn’t stay a secret forever. I had to figure things out with Jack and I had to figure out how to tell my family. Before things got even worse.