26. Ethan
26
ETHAN
N ostalgia hit me the minute I walked through the door into the Carter residence. I had only been here a few times to have dinner with Lily's parents, but those were fond memories I cherished now. David and Ellen were such kind people. It was no wonder Lily turned out as amazing as she had.
"You can just set that stuff over there," David told me, nodding in the general direction of the dining table at the far end of the open space.
I carried a duffle bag with Lily and Noah's clothing, a plastic sack of their things from the hospital, and a vase of flowers one of her aunts had sent to the room for Noah. Ellen followed me through the door with an arm full of teddy bears and a few other small tchotchkes Noah's visitors had brought. It wasn't a dull week by any means.
I spent the majority of my time working like normal, and my evenings were filled with caring for Mom, who had finally recovered from her cold, and shuttling her to and from the nursing home to be with Dad, who was less grumpy now. But every night, I slept in Noah's room on the pullout sofa, giving Lily a chance to go home and shower and rest before returning at first light. It was an exhausting schedule for us both, but it was worth it.
"Here, Ethan," Ellen said, taking the flowers. "I'll go put some fresh water in this. You go help Lily with the boy." She smiled at me and took the flowers as I set the bags down. When I turned to the door, I saw Lily carrying Noah in her arms. If I didn't know he was four, I'd never have guessed it. The congenital condition had really repressed his body's ability to absorb nutrients and stunted his growth, but hopefully, all of that was behind us for the foreseeable future.
"Want me to carry him?" I asked, approaching Lily. She gladly handed him over, and he clung to me. He weighed almost nothing and felt light as a feather, but when his little arms wrapped around my shoulders, I almost melted. Nothing in the world felt better than this.
"So where do you want to sit, buddy?" I asked him, and he pointed at David, who had sat down in the recliner at the end of the coffee table.
"Pop," Noah grunted, and then laid his head on my shoulder. He was recovering well but still very weak and still in pain. It would linger a while, but hopefully, not long.
"Pop it is," I told him and carried him over to sit on Lily's father’s lap. The burly man embraced his grandson and started rocking as soon as Noah was settled.
We told Noah this week that I was his mom's friend, that I’d be around for a while. Noah took to me instantly, and when he was awake and feeling okay, he had a lot of questions about monster trucks and sharks, and anything else his four-year-old brain could think of. I soaked up every second of the attention that I could but managed to encourage him to sleep at night when he really wanted to be talking to me.
"I, uh… I should go, I guess." I stood next to Lily and waited for her to acknowledge me. She was hunched over, stacking her dad's magazines on the coffee table to make room for Noah's blood pressure cuff and medications. When she straightened, she had a curious, hopeful expression.
"I was hoping you'd stay for dinner." Her eyebrows rose, and she glanced at her mother, who brought the vase of flowers and placed it next to the stack of magazines. "Mom?"
"Oh yes, dear. Ethan is welcome to stay. I have a roast in the oven that should be ready any minute. It's been cooking all day. And let's see, we'll have apple crisp and vegetables, and?—"
"Chocolate pudding!" Noah chimed in, happy to be home. His face lit up like it was Christmas.
"And chocolate pudding for Noah, if he eats all his food." Ellen's eyes sparkled, and I could tell that she loved the boy very much. Being part of this moment and being invited to dinner were priceless to me. I loved how close Lily was with her family and that her parents were young enough to truly enjoy being grandparents. I couldn't wait for my parents to meet Noah someday and feel that same joy.
"Well, if there is chocolate pudding involved, count me in." I winked at Noah, who giggled, and Ellen chuckled. She returned to the kitchen to put finishing touches on our meal, and I helped Lily carry Noah's things to his room and organize them.
The entire afternoon and evening felt surreal. Just a few months ago, I spent my evenings alone with Mom or at the pub after work with coworkers. I had no future in mind other than more caring for my aging parents or building my career up. Now I was looking at a beautiful family of which I desperately wanted to make myself a part. The idea I'd been tossing around in my mind of marrying Lily was slowly becoming more and more concrete by the day, and tonight, I felt like speaking with her father was the next step.
We managed to get everything cleaned and organized, and Lily told me how her parents had been gracious enough to allow them to stay here until she got her own place. But with Noah's illness, she decided it was safer to just stay with them a bit longer, until after his surgery. She'd been letting him stay in her bed with her, but he needed his own space now. It was safer with his incisions to have his own bed. I could tell she was saddened by that fact and that she would rather he continued co-sleeping for a while longer.
At dinner, however, I could tell Noah was excited about the idea of having his own bed. He made a big deal of it too, talking about how he was going to sleep with his toy trucks, which of course, Lily wouldn't allow. He pouted about that, but I loved watching the interaction. Each little conversation showed me more snippets of his personality and how happy and smart he was. The birth defect might have robbed him of some of his physical vitality, but his mind was sharp.
When he finished eating, he started to doze off right in his seat at the table, so Lily stood and roused him from his slumber. "Time for bed, baby. I'll get your bandage changed and get you your medicine, and then Ethan can tuck you in with me."
I smiled at the sentiment. "I can help with bandages and medicine too," I offered, but she shook her head.
"It's okay. Finish eating. I'll get him ready, and you can say goodnight."
I felt bad allowing her to do all the work, but it did afford me the perfect opportunity to speak with David and Ellen alone. I put my last bite of roast in my mouth and chewed thoughtfully while she collected Noah, and when she left the room, I washed the food down with a swig of soda and wiped my mouth.
"Mr. and Mrs. Carter, I'd like to speak to you about something while Lily's not around, if that's okay." My confidence soared as David nodded his head and pushed his empty plate away.
"What do you have on your mind?" he asked before using his tongue to polish his tooth.
It felt awkward seeking his permission to marry his daughter. For the first time, it dawned on me how much older I was than Lily. At forty, I was halfway between David's age and Lily's, and at times, I felt I had more in common with him than her. Like the fact that my back just didn't work the way it used to and sometimes, I felt like my knees were the knees of a seventy-year-old man.
He stared at me with stern eyes while Ellen stood and started stacking dirty dishes up to be carried away.
"Well, sir, I want Lily and Noah to move in with me. I know you have been providing for them both for a while now, though I'm positive Lily pulls her own weight around her. I just feel like if my family is going to be whole, we should be under the same roof." Nerves played at the corner of my mind as I watched his thoughtful expression. He was mulling it over, as if he had any true say in the matter.
Ultimately, the decision would be up to Lily, but I wanted to do things the right way. Asking for David's blessing in this matter was how his generation was raised. It offered him the respect of approving of our relationship for his little girl and made him feel like I could be trusted.
"I see…" He sighed but said nothing else. Ellen eyed him and smiled at me before picking up her stack of dishes.
"Well, I think it's a lovely idea. Noah will love that, and he'll have two doctors around to keep an eye on him. But Nana will still be babysitting. I need my baby time." She winked and walked off, carrying the dishes through the swinging door into the kitchen.
I turned to David and said, "And I want to marry her." The slight uptick of David's eyebrows encouraged me. "I've loved her for years, and when she came back into my life, I knew she was the one. I messed it up before, but I'm never going to mess it up again. I love her, and I want her in my life forever. I want our family to truly be whole."
David nodded again, and this time, he narrowed his eyes at me. "It's about time," he grunted, and I chuckled, which made him smile. "Welcome to the family, Ethan. I'm sure you're going to make her the happiest woman alive."
"Ethan!" I heard from in the distance, and I knew Lily was calling me to tuck Noah in.
"Thank you, sir. I won't let you or her down." I stood and dropped my napkin across my plate, then headed to the stairs.
Every step I took built anticipation inside me. The excitement I felt when I was considering asking her to marry me last week hadn't abated at all. It was like life had been put on pause, and perhaps tonight wasn't the perfect night, but I knew it would be soon. For now, my focus was on making sure I did everything in my power to be the best partner and father I could be.
I walked into Ethan's bedroom and saw him lying on his side, frowning. Lily sat next to him with a hand on his back, rubbing, and I could see the medicine spoon in her hand.
"It's yucky," he moaned and coughed.
"Yes, but it helps you, baby." Lily smiled at me sadly and gestured with her head for me to come closer.
I walked over and crouched next to his bed, and he looked up at me. "Yucky medicine?" I asked.
"I don’t like it." He scrunched up his face and made me snicker.
"Yes, I can tell. But here is the good news. You only have to take that a few more times and then you never have to do it again. Plus, it takes away all of your pain so you can sleep better." I tousled his hair, and he huffed.
"I still don't like it." Noah rolled to his back and crossed his arms over his chest, and Lily placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
"Baby, there's something I want to talk to you about," she said, but as she did, she reached for my hand and I got the feeling she was talking about me.
"More medicine?" he asked in a grumpy tone.
"Not at all, something even better." Her eyes were brimming with emotion when she looked at me. "It's actually about your daddy."
Noah turned on his side again and pulled his glasses off his face and folded them up, then handed them to me. "I don't have a daddy," he said, and that broke my heart, but the pain was short-lived.
"But you do have a daddy. You just never got to meet him yet." Lily looked back at her son, and I was patient. My heart hammered against my ribcage, swelling with joy and pride in this moment. I didn't have to ask her to marry me to know she would say yes. If one week into this thing, she was ready to tell our son about me, I knew she was mine.
"Where is he?" Noah asked, and then he narrowed his eyes at me. "Does Ethan know him?"
I chuckled again, and Lily nodded upward with her head. I got the point she was trying to make, and I knelt closer to his bed.
"I know him really well. In fact, I am him. I'm your daddy, Noah." My own tears refused to be held back. I blinked and shed a few, and he looked at me, very confused.
"Ethan is my daddy? But he's your friend." He turned his confusion on Lily, and she smiled and nodded. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she wiped them away.
"Yes, he's my best friend and he is your daddy. What do you think of that?" It seemed to be a little too much for his four-year- old brain to handle, but he shrugged and winced at the same time.
"I think medicine is yucky. Maybe you can take it." Again, his face screwed up into a hot scowl and had both of us laughing. We spoke for a few minutes about the idea of my being his father, but I could tell he was sleepy.
When Lily and I left his room with the baby monitor in hand, she took me by the hand and led me downstairs. Ellen and David had retired for the evening, but after the week Lily had, I didn't want to stay and keep her up. She needed to rest while Noah was resting. So, I guided her to the door and asked, "Walk me to my car?"
"Of course." She followed me into the cool night air. It was dark already, streetlights coming on down the street already. The row of hedges next to the driveway shrouded my little sedan in darkness, which allowed me to kiss my beautiful girlfriend in privacy.
"Thank you for everything, Ethan. You've been so amazing, I don't even know how to thank you enough." Her head rested on my chest, and she wrapped her arms around me. I held her against me, careful not to touch any of the buttons on the monitor now clipped to her waistband. "This evening has been so perfect."
"I wish I could stay with you or that you could come to my place." I pulled her harder against myself and ground my pelvis into her thigh, leaving no room for misinterpretation of what I was trying to say.
She snickered and said, "I wish so too, but you know…" Lily glanced around mischievously and then kissed me again. "It doesn’t mean we can't sneak around like we're kids again." Her hand rested on the door handle to the backseat of my car, and I felt a thrill of excitement shoot through me.
"Dr. Carter, you're making me blush." I backed away as she pulled the door open.
"I'd rather make you hard," she mewled, then slid around the door and into the back seat. "Don't give me time to change my mind," she purred, and I had no intention of letting the heat die down at all. I was going to enjoy this.