CHAPTER 14
C HAPTER 14
N ONE OF THIS WAS SIMPLE, regardless of what Raider chose to think.
Control wasn’t easy for Seth. He was always struggling for it. He was always afraid of losing it. Especially with Raider. The way he wanted Raider …
It was too much, too intense. He wanted to dominate and possess him. He wanted to mark him. With his teeth. With his cum.
But that was all instinct. That was all selfish. Seth couldn’t give into it, not right now, because he did have to think.
Raider was not okay, regardless of what he tried to insist upon. His nightmares were horrific. His mood was all over the place. His eyes kept unfocusing.
They were unfocused right now.
Seth knew it was irritating Raider that he kept checking on him, but this time Raider didn’t even seem to notice. His face was turned in the direction of the belly dancer performing in the center of the dining hall, but his expression was blank.
Earlier today, after an hour of fruitless searching following Raider’s departure from the library, Seth had asked Julian to have Adavasti find him. Adavasti had found Raider in the stable. That had left Seth feeling two distinct things. One, like an idiot because he should have guessed that. Raider loved horses. And two, fucking relieved because Raider had sought out something good, something that would help him calm down.
Raider could have gone the other direction, yielding to anger and turning destructive. Most people would have. Seth probably would have. But not Raider.
When Raider had walked out of the stable and found Seth waiting for him in the shade of a palm tree, he’d stopped dead. He’d drawn in a visible, shaky breath. Then he’d walked over to Seth.
I’m sorry , he’d said when Seth grabbed him into a hard embrace.
Seth was sorry too, because whatever Raider had needed, Seth hadn’t been able to give it to him. Was it sex? Maybe. Partly. But Seth was really damn sure it wasn’t that simple.
But at least Raider had let Seth hold onto him. At least Raider had held on too. And when Seth had said, Please stay with me , Raider had promised, I will .
Raider had kept his promise. He’d stayed with Seth, had answered the empress’s dinner summons with Seth. So here they were.
Several rows of long tables ringed out from the open center of the dining hall, where the single dancer was performing. She was living, moving artwork in her flowing skirts, clinking bangles, and flashing belly chains, interweaving her dance with the pipes and drums and sitars. She was as sinuous as smoke, as beautiful as a goddess, and as physically gifted as any warrior.
The dance was exactly the kind of thing Raider usually enjoyed. But he wasn’t reacting to it at all. He’d barely eaten any of the exquisite food, hadn’t even touched the wine.
Seth leaned over to him and said quietly, “We’re leaving.”
Awareness gathered in Raider’s eyes. He glanced past Seth to Julian. Seth followed his gaze. The young arcanist looked positively mesmerized by the dance.
“He’s fine,” Seth said.
Raider’s eyes shifted to the raised alcove at the end of the dining hall. Red silk curtains, secured at each side, made the alcove look like a sort of stage. There, alone, the empress sat behind a low table cluttered with golden tureens, platters, and pitchers.
The Head of the Hammer, Nasrin, stood to the side of the alcove steps in her sculpted leather breastplate and skirt of leather strips. Her gold filigree armor overlaid the practical leather. With her spear butt grounded, she watched the room impassively.
When Seth stood up, he watched the alcove from the corner of his eye, but there was no reaction to his rising. He reached down a hand.
“Let’s go.”
Raider ignored the offered hand, but he did get up.
Seth led the way past the rows of tables crowded with well-dressed courtiers and guests. More of the Hammer stood about the hall, as distinct in their leather and gold as the cluster of black-robed arcanists near the empress’s alcove. No one tried to stop them as they walked through the wide doorway.
The music followed them down the corridor but eventually faded. The only sound was Seth and Raider’s footsteps as they walked from hallway to hallway. Raider’s eyes had emptied again.
When Raider stopped, it took Seth a second to realize he was walking alone. He backtracked to Raider, who was staring at a bas-relief carved shallowly into the wall. Seth had never seen this bas-relief before … because he’d never been down this hallway.
Shit. He’d taken a wrong turn in the palatial maze.
Seth glanced from Raider to the bas-relief. Etched in stone, the sun god Roth rolled the sun from the underworld into the sky. He took the form of the sacred scarab then the divine eagle as it grasped the fiery orb and lifted it over fields and rivers before dropping it onto the backs of Hasa’s crocodiles. The crocodiles slithered along the river, bearing the light through the land of the dead and into the death goddess’s nightly keeping.
The carving was beautiful, but Seth didn’t think that was why Raider was staring at it.
“What is it?” Seth asked.
When Raider didn’t respond, Seth reached out and touched his back. Raider moved so damn fast that Seth found himself grabbed by his vest and slammed into that bas-relief before he knew what was happening. Automatically, he shoved Raider back.
Raider lunged for him again before Seth had time to think, before he could clamp down on the instinctive aggression that roared through his body at the attack. Seth launched himself from the wall and caught Raider around the torso. Dropping to one knee, Seth slammed him to the ground, his awareness returning just enough to control the fall and not hurt Raider.
Raider’s leg came up and hooked around Seth’s neck. Yanked off balance, Seth found himself twisted underneath Raider. They grappled fiercely, straining and grabbing. Raider was quicker than Seth, but Seth knew how to wrestle, and he was much heavier. He got Raider pinned, locking down Raider’s legs with his own, trapping his arms. Raider thrashed and bucked against him and, goddamn it, but it made Seth so fucking hard that he clamped his teeth on the crook of Raider’s neck.
Instantly, Raider stopped fighting. He was breathing hard. His muscles were still contracted. But he lay still in Seth’s dominant hold.
It took Seth a long, long moment to get himself to release his bite. When he did, he spoke softly but intently into Raider’s ear. “You’re going to get up. You’re going to stay calm and do everything I say. Do you understand?”
Raider started to twist against Seth’s hold, refusing, so Seth bit him again.
At the sound of footsteps, Seth glanced up but didn’t release his bite. Nasrin stopped a few paces away and regarded them with calm wariness but no surprise. She must have followed them, must have heard, maybe seen, the whole fight.
“I can sedate him,” she offered.
At that, Seth growled so fiercely that he felt the vibration in his teeth. Raider shuddered against him. Seth’s cock, pressed against Raider’s ass, throbbed. It took every bit of his restraint to not grind against him.
Nasrin said, “Or not.”
Seth forced himself to release his bite. He switched his hold to grip Raider’s hair at his nape while he unhooked his legs. He kept that grip as Raider gathered himself up, kept it even as they both got to their feet. The sight of Raider’s cock tenting his teal silk pants had Seth’s dick throbbing. He ignored it as he pulled Raider to him, forcing Raider’s face against his shoulder. Raider’s hands came up to Seth’s chest, but they neither pushed nor grabbed.
Seth whispered in Raider’s ear, “You are going to stay right here with me. You are going to focus on me. You are going to trust me.”
Raider was still breathing hard. His fingers curled around the edges of Seth’s vest.
Still holding Raider against him, Seth ordered Nasrin, “Send someone to our room for our gear and weapons.”
Her gray eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“We’re leaving.”
“You seek to break your agreement with the empress?”
“The agreement doesn’t specify where we sleep. We cannot stay here.”
“You are guests of the empress.”
“Are we?” Seth challenged. “Because if we are, we’ll be allowed to leave. I will return every day to work with Julian in the library and continue preparing, as agreed, but we’ll be sleeping elsewhere.”
Nasrin’s eyes went to Raider. “And him?”
Still with his hand fisted in Raider’s hair, Seth said firmly, “He will not set foot inside this palace again.”
Seth prepared himself to fight her. It would change everything, complicate everything, but so be it. He was getting Raider out of here, one way or another.
But Nasrin nodded briskly and said, “Meet me in the entry hall.”
As she left, boots clapping against the tiled floor, Seth tugged Raider’s head up so he could look in his eyes. Raider’s hands dropped from Seth’s chest. His telescopic left eye was nonreactive, but his right pupil was blown.
Seth told him, “You are going to walk with me. You will not look at anything but the ground or me. You will not look at the walls or the doors or other people. Let’s go.”
Raider didn’t say anything, didn’t nod, but he didn’t fight either. Seth released Raider’s hair and grabbed his hand, tugging him into a walk. Raider did as Seth had ordered, keeping his eyes down.
When they reached the domed entry hall, where a fountain splashed and gold flashed on every mosaicked wall, Raider started to look around. Seth released Raider’s hand to put his own on the back of Raider’s neck. He pushed until Raider bowed his head, staring at the ground.
When Nasrin arrived with two servants carrying Seth and Raider’s packs and weapons, she motioned to the guards on duty. They pushed open the massive doors.
Seth took Raider’s hand again, and the small company walked out onto the columned portico and down the palace steps. Having been unconscious when he’d first entered the palace, Seth had never seen the exterior. He couldn’t spare much attention for it now, only glimpsing a grand, multi-level complex. Palm trees dotted the courtyard, which was enclosed by a towering, crenelated wall with an arched gateway. The famous Blue Gate of Kastari.
Night had darkened most of the lapis blue bricks to black, but the torchlight flaming to either side of the gate glinted over some of the gold figures that dotted the gateway’s face.
Their company was let through, and Nasrin led the way along a broad avenue lined with Kastari’s grandest houses. After a few blocks, they came to a large, walled-in complex with a bright pink lotus painted above its gates.
Nasrin was clearly recognized because they were let in immediately. A boy ran ahead along the shrubbery-lined path to the front doors.
They entered a luxurious common room. Guests in fine robes clustered around low tables to smoke from glass-bellied hookahs and drink from silver-rimmed cups. The innkeeper, puffing slightly as though he’d run out at the boy’s news, welcomed Nasrin with a slight bow over his plump, steepled fingers. Nasrin nodded but walked straight past him to the stairs. She led the way up several flights to the top floor, where there was only one door.
The room was nearly as lavish as their palace suite had been. Softly glowing wall lights revealed a large, plush bed atop a three-step platform. An alcove stuffed with pillows made a cozy reading nook beside several shelves of books. A dining area glittered with crystal and gleamed with silver. Around a corner was a bathing chamber.
While the servants set Seth and Raider’s gear before a large wardrobe, Nasrin walked to a set of double doors. She opened them to reveal a patio that looked out over Kastari. A pergola covered in climbing roses housed a lounging bed.
Raider pulled his hand from Seth’s, crossed his arms, and started pacing. Seth watched him like a hawk as he told Nasrin, “Get out.”
Ignoring that, Nasrin said, “The empress grants you this space while preparations continue. Do not violate her trust by attempting to leave the city. You would not be successful in any case. Seth, you will return to the library first thing in the morning.”
“I’ll return when I’m ready.” And he would be ready only when he was very, very sure that Raider was okay.
Seth didn’t look at Nasrin to gauge her response. He wouldn’t take his eyes off Raider even for a second. Raider was too damn fast, too unpredictable. And Seth didn’t know where his mind was.
Before he could tell Nasrin again to leave, three sets of footsteps retreated. The door closed.
“Do you know where you are?” Seth asked.
Raider didn’t reply, so Seth put himself in Raider’s path. Raider tried to step around him. Seth reached out, knowing full well what would probably happen.
When Raider lunged, Seth twisted around behind him, grabbing his hair and kicking the back of his knee. As Raider’s leg buckled, Seth took them both to the ground. He sat behind Raider and hooked his legs around Raider’s hips. He released Raider’s hair to pin his arms to his sides.
Seth was well aware that if Raider really fought, if he used his quicksilver, Seth had no hope of overpowering him. But Raider didn’t really want to fight. He wanted this. Seth, subduing him, securing him, containing him so he didn’t have to contain himself.
Seth had thought a lot about his sexual experiences with Raider. He’d thought a lot about what Raider had once said about why he wanted such rough sex. He’d told Seth that even though he tried to focus on good things, the bad things were still there.
It’s like it’s right here , Raider had said, pressing his fingers to his sternum. Sometimes, I want all of that to be forced away.
When Raider had admitted that he hadn’t actually experimented much with rough sex in the past, that it was something he wanted only with Seth, Seth hadn’t liked that, not at first. It had seemed to confirm his fears about being a brute. But then Raider had told Seth that the reason he wanted roughness only with him was because he trusted him and felt safe with him.
That meant a lot to Seth—gods, it did—but he had a harder time trusting himself. For the past two days, he’d been cautious with Raider. He’d told himself that it wasn’t the right time for sex, that Raider wasn’t in the right headspace for it. Seth had been as patient and gentle as he could be, but that wasn’t what Raider had needed. Raider had needed this. Seth taking control. Seth making it safe for him to let go instead of locking down.
Raider’s chest was heaving and his abdomen was contracting. His cock was stiffening, lifting against Seth’s hooked legs. Seth set his teeth to the juncture of Raider’s neck and shoulder, clamping with firm dominance. Raider shuddered and made a needful sound that took Seth’s cock from semi-hard to achingly stiff.
Seth released his bite to nuzzle the side of Raider’s neck. Raider’s head fell back to rest on Seth’s shoulder. Seth slid his hands inside Raider’s vest, one hand smoothing across the planes of his chest, the other rubbing his muscled belly. Seth unhooked his legs and used them to open and pin Raider’s legs, giving Seth access to his cock.
Seth gripped him through the silk, loving the feel of that hard, thick length. He stroked a few times before returning his hand to Raider’s abdomen.
He had to be sure. After everything that had happened today, he needed clear words. He rumbled against Raider’s neck, “Tell me what you need.”
“You, Seth. I need you .”
Seth nipped his neck. “Inside you?”
“Gods, yes— please .” Raider pushed back against him, straining. “I don’t want anything inside me but you. I need it. I need …”
“What, baby?” Seth nibbled at his ear, keeping his dominant, possessive hold, reassuring him that whatever he needed, Seth would give him.
Raider breathed, “To scream.”
For a second, Seth’s mind tripped over that. When he saw that in relation to himself, as the one making Raider scream, he didn’t like it. But it wasn’t about hurting Raider. It was about making a safe space for him to release what he needed to release. That was something Seth understood, something Seth could give him. Seth liked giving that to him. It was release for him too—a safe space for him too. Seth had never had that before.
With Raider, only with Raider, could Seth allow himself to experience every part of his own nature. And every time they started something like this, Seth’s fears of losing control drifted away. He felt calm. Intense and aggressive, yes … but calm. He felt centered. He felt like he knew exactly what to do.
Seth splayed one hand over Raider’s contracting belly and slid his other up to Raider’s throat, where he massaged and squeezed. Raider shivered and gasped and yielded, no longer straining.
“Untie your drawstring,” Seth ordered.
When Raider had complied, Seth slid his hand down Raider’s abdomen and inside his pants. He wrapped his hand around Raider’s bare cock and stroked the swollen length. Raider’s moans vibrated against Seth’s other hand at his throat.
“This is mine now,” Seth rasped in Raider’s ear. “You’ll touch it when I say. You’ll come when I say. You’re done fighting for the night. Do you understand?”
“ Yes .” The word was a breath of relief.
“Good.” Seth kept stroking Raider’s cock as he nuzzled behind his ear. “You’re about to get fucked really hard”—Raider moaned and pressed into Seth’s stroking hand—“so tell me your safe word in case you need a break.”
“I won’t need—”
Seth delivered a hard bite to his neck then licked the spot. “It’s non-negotiable.”
“Silver,” Raider said, choosing the same word he’d chosen before and, gods, did Seth understand that now. And if he heard that word? It would stop him cold.
“Okay, baby. We’re getting up.”
Seth released Raider’s legs and cock and throat, but he kept his hands on Raider as they got to their feet. Raider needed touch. Always, but especially now.
Seth tugged off Raider’s vest. His pants, already untied, slipped easily off his ass but caught on the stiff rod of his cock. Seth edged partway around Raider so he could watch his own hand draw the material away.
He sucked in a breath at the sight of the Raider’s stiff shaft and flushed, flaring tip. Precum beaded at his slit. Seth swiped his thumb over it, eliciting a soft cry, and brought his thumb to his tongue, tasting the salty-sweet essence of Raider’s arousal.
“Mmm,” Seth hummed in pleasure as he went back to stroking. Gods, he loved touching this man.
Raider’s hands fisted at his sides. He wanted to touch Seth.
Releasing Raider’s cock, Seth ordered, “Take off my vest.”
Raider turned and raised shaky hands to the buckles. Seth used the time to study him. Raider was present, fully present, and he was, as always, so damn beautiful. Even angled down, Raider’s face was absolutely gorgeous, the way its planes and angles caught the light. He had such prominent cheekbones and hollow cheeks, such sensual lips. Those lips were parted now, little puffs of air escaping them.
When Seth’s vest was open, Raider glided his hands over Seth’s abdomen and chest. Seth bit his lip as Raider’s hands brushed the tight, sensitive nubs of his nipples.
Seth took Raider’s jaw in both hands. Lifting his face, Seth crushed their lips together. Raider came alive at the kiss, returning it hungrily, his whole body curving toward Seth.
Seth said against Raider’s lips, “Go get the oil from my pack.” When Raider didn’t obey, Seth lightly slapped his ass. “Do what I say.”
Raider’s body convulsed slightly. He made a needful sound. He clutched at Seth’s open vest, still refusing.
Seth growled at the defiance. He grabbed Raider, pulling him in tight, and slapped his ass again, harder this time. Face crushed against Seth’s throat, Raider shuddered. Seth smoothed his hand over Raider’s ass cheek, then slapped him again. Crying out, Raider ground his bare cock against the hard ridge of Seth’s covered erection.
Massaging Raider’s ass, Seth asked, “Are you ready to do what I said?”
Raider’s face pressed into Seth’s throat. His fingers clenched. Seth slid his hand along the crack of Raider’s ass and prodded his hole. Raider gasped.
“I’m not fucking this without oil.”
“Seth, please,” Raider whispered, “Hurt me— please .”
“Not like that.”
“Seth—”
Seth gripped the back of Raider’s neck and forced him down until his knees buckled. Even then he didn’t relent but pushed Raider’s head all the way to the floor, dropping to his own knee and holding Raider there with his ass in the air. Seth delivered three sharp slaps, each punctuated by a cry, each making Seth’s dick throb in his pants.
“You don’t make these decisions, Raider. You’re not in charge.”
Satisfied with the moan that answered his words, Seth reached between Raider’s legs. His hand glided along Raider’s taint to the swollen weight of his balls and the stiff rod of his engorged cock. Precum was dripping from his slit, threading to the floor. Seth smoothed that precum over Raider’s cock and watched his hole tighten hungrily.
“Don’t move,” Seth said and released him.
Rising, Seth shrugged off his vest and loosened the lacing of his pants. He shoved them down enough to let his cock spring out, huge and swollen, the head flushed an angry red.
When Raider started to lift his head, Seth bent and pressed a hand to the back of his neck. “Stay,” he said and used his other hand to untie his boots. He had to let Raider go to remove them and his socks.
“You can sit up now,” Seth told him as he straightened, shoving his pants all the way down and stepping out of them.
Raider pushed up from the floor and settled back on his heels. His eyes locked on Seth’s dick. His hands fisted on his thighs. His jutting cock pulsed with precum.
Seth gave himself a much-needed stoke and said in a low, gruff voice, “You’ll take every inch of this in that tight, hot hole.” Raider closed his eyes, his body rocking. “You’ll let this thing so deep inside you that nothing will exist but me fucking you with it.”
Raider let out a ragged sound as he pitched forward, shuddering. With a grunt of satisfaction, Seth left him there and walked to his pack to get the oil himself.
Seth rummaged in his pack and located the oil, watching Raider from the corner of his eye, waiting for what he knew Raider would do. Raider was still folded over his knees, breathing hard, but when he heard the bottle uncork, he stopped breathing. He was frozen, clearly listening. After pouring oil into his hand, Seth recorked and dropped the bottle. Then he gave Raider the sound he was waiting for: the sloppy squelch of Seth’s hand slicking his cock.
That was when Raider sprang to his feet and raced through the open doors onto the patio. Seth was ready for that because Raider had done it before, when he’d really needed to be dominated. Seth raced after him, his cock bobbing heavily. Raider darted around the pergola, putting the raised lounging bed between him and Seth—so Seth leaped straight over it.
Raider let out a startled cry when Seth grabbed him around the waist. Seth spun and bent Raider over the side of the bed, planting a hand between his shoulder blades.
“You know your safe word,” Seth growled by way of warning as he kicked Raider’s legs apart. He gripped Raider’s hips, set his broad cockhead against Raider’s hole, and speared into him.
Raider cried out sharply, and Seth closed his eyes at the fierce wave of arousal as his cock was hotly squeezed. Then he drew back and thrust again into that slick heat.
Raider moaned and clutched at the mattress as Seth started to rail him. His hands tugged at the sheets until they bunched under his face. Raider buried his face there, utterly yielding his body to Seth’s hard thrusts.
Seth gave himself over to the fierce rhythm, fucking Raider so hard that the bed was shifting. His hips snapped forward relentlessly. His balls slapped audibly. It felt so damn good that he had to clench his teeth to keep himself from roaring like a goddamn beast.
He slapped and squeezed Raider’s ass. He shoved his head down. He yanked up one of Raider’s legs to get deeper. Seth fucked and fucked until he felt Raider’s body coiling tight—then Seth fucked him even harder and faster until he was screaming into the mattress like he’d told Seth he needed. Raider came so hard, thrashing and seizing, that Seth had to clamp onto his hips with a punishing grip to keep taking the pounding as Seth fucked him through his violent release.
It was too much, feeling Raider thrashing on his dick, feeling his ass fisting Seth’s cock. Seth roared as his own orgasm ripped through him. The hard, wrenching pulses had his hips snapping forward again and again. The strain of the release was so intense that it dizzied him. He staggered and bent over Raider on the bed.
“ Gods ,” Seth gasped against the back of Raider’s neck. “ Fuck .”
Raider was still spasming under him, his body working through the aftershocks. His face was still pressed into the tangled sheets.
When the aftershocks were over and Raider was left panting, Seth eased his cock free, eliciting a cry from Raider. Seth stroked a hand along the cleft of Raider’s ass, soothing him and reveling in the hot spill of his cum from Raider’s fluttering hole.
When Seth slid his hands under Raider’s belly and lifted him, Raider made a sound of protest, but Seth gathered him up anyway. He hooked one arm around Raider’s torso and the other under his knees and pulled him into his body, lifting and cradling him. Raider hooked his arms around Seth’s neck and buried his face under Seth’s jaw as Seth carried him back to the room. Seth had never carried Raider like this before, but, gods, did it satisfy him.