CHAPTER 21
C HAPTER 21
S ETH WASN’T SURE what he’d done to raise Raider’s suspicions, but he’d clearly done something. Really, though, he’d gotten away with his secretiveness far longer than he would ever have thought possible.
If Raider hadn’t been struggling so much with all the memories forced on him in Kastari, he would have been asking questions earlier. While Seth had been researching. During the weeks of travel.
Of course … it wasn’t just that Raider was distracted. It was also that he trusted Seth.
Seth hoped like hell he wasn’t about to shatter that trust. He was already damaging it by avoiding Raider’s questions. Those questions had been indirect.
Did you come across anything about giant scorpions in your research?
What do you think we’ll find in Ulam?
Raider was trying to lure Seth into a confession. Seth could tell by the look in Raider’s eyes, by the tone that said he knew Seth was up to something.
Seth had questioned himself a lot about whether he was doing the right thing by keeping his plans from Raider. Was he making the same mistake as when he’d hidden his conversation with Julian?
Maybe. But this was too important to risk Raider’s refusal. It had to be this way.
Besides, the chance to discuss the plan had expired as soon as they’d left the Pink Lotus Inn and put themselves in the company of Zarina’s black-cloaked arcanists.
And that one Fadesh …
Seth had been telling himself that he disliked the man because of his involvement in Seth’s interrogation in the imperial dungeon, but that wasn’t it. Nasrin had been involved that day, too, and she didn’t ring Seth’s alarm bells in the same way.
Seth didn’t like the way the arcanist had his hood up all the time. Yes, the sun was brutal, but the habit was starting to seem … sly. And there had been more than one occasion when Seth had seen Fadesh make a sharp turn to avoid Raider.
Seth suspected that Raider hadn’t noticed the arcanist’s avoidance because Raider himself was also ( still ) avoiding everyone. That troubled Seth. Raider was very social, much more so than Seth, and yet he was keeping apart from everyone but Seth.
Things had been a little better after they’d fucked the other day, but with Raider suspicious of Seth, the ease was only partial.
Gods, they needed to get away from these external pressures so they could talk openly and reconnect like they needed to. So they could fuck like they needed to. Sex was a deep connection for them. It was fun and it felt good, of course, but the important thing was that it made them open to each other.
But that was the problem for Seth right now. He couldn’t be open. That was why, except for what had happened the other day after the scorpions, they hadn’t been having sex.
In the past, it had been Raider’s secrets creating tension between them. Raider still had some secrets (including a very big one that Seth didn’t know whether to address with him), but it was Seth’s secret that was getting between them now.
That secret, however, was necessary. And soon it would be exposed. Because if Seth’s calculations were correct? They would reach the gorge this afternoon. Seth would act surprised, like he’d had no idea it was coming. They would be forced to stop for the night and consider their options.
And when night fell? Seth would hope that Raider, with only two immediate choices—go along with Seth or turn him in to the Hammer—would choose to go along with him.
Right now, they were stopped for a midday rest. Everyone was busy with the usual activities: eating, stretching, performing routine maintenance on the palanquins.
Seth was looking for Raider.
He found him a little apart from the caravan, staring off into the distance. Seth came to stand beside him and followed the direction of his gaze. Seeing nothing but rolling sand dunes, he glanced at Raider. His face was shadowed by his dark red kaffiyeh, but Seth could still read the intensity of his expression.
“What is it?” Seth asked, getting out his arcane scope.
“I’m not sure. Do you see anything?”
Seth looked through the scope but saw only golden sand. “Give me a hint.”
“You don’t see anything?”
“No.” Seth lowered the scope and took a closer look at Raider. He was anxious. “What’s going on?”
“I … nothing.”
“Tell me.”
Raider dragged his gaze away from the dunes to look steadily at Seth. “Why don’t you tell me first. About your plans.”
Seth stilled.
Raider pressed, “I know you’re planning something.”
Seth glanced over his shoulder, but they were out of earshot of the caravan. “Just trust me,” he said. “Please.”
“But you are planning something.”
There was no point in denying it. “Yes.”
Raider looked hurt. “Why can’t I know about it? Why don’t you trust me?”
“Gods, Raider, it’s not that. Of course I trust you. It’s all the eyes and ears—”
“Bullshit. You could have talked to me before we left Kastari. Because I can see it now. You were planning something all along. If it’s not a question of trust, then it’s because you know I won’t like it.”
At whatever Seth’s face revealed—because, goddamn it, that was exactly right—Raider’s right eye flared gold. Seth had spent a long time assuming that eye, like Raider’s other, was arcane, only in a different way. But after what Julian had told him about Raider being not quite … human, Seth was growing increasingly certain that that eye was real after all. It reminded him of Adavasti’s eyes. They, too, sometimes brightened.
Seth took a deep breath and said, “I’ll tell you”—what choice did he have now?—“but please, first, tell me what you were looking at out in the desert.”
Fear flitted through Raider’s eyes. “I’m afraid to tell you.”
“Why?”
“Because …” Raider looked out across the dunes. “I’m afraid it’s in my head. I saw it earlier too, then it was gone. A lot of things have been in my head lately, and … shit, Seth, I’m …” Raider’s chest started heaving. “I’m scared of what it means. I’m scared I’m going crazy.”
“Oh, baby, fuck. Come here. It’s okay.” Seth tugged at him.
Raider’s sleeve dashed across his eyes. “It’s not okay.”
“It is okay. Gods, come here.”
Raider yielded and let Seth pull him close. As Raider’s arms hooked around him, holding tight, Seth felt a surge of frustration. They needed time and a safe space. Raider needed to rest and have a chance to sort through everything.
That was why Seth was doing this. He was going to find that for Raider. For them both. Regardless of the consequences.
Raider’s breathing was shallow. He was trembling. Shit, he really was scared. And this was the man who went charging at giant scorpions and every other danger.
Kahzir had done this to him. Made him not trust himself, not trust his own mind. Gods, it made Seth so damn angry.
Holding Raider against him, Seth asked, “What are you seeing?”
“I keep thinking I’m seeing someone, but then it’s nothing.”
“Someone?”
“Watching us.”
Seth’s nape prickled. “What kind of someone?”
Raider drew back to look at Seth. His eyebrows scrunched. “What do you mean what kind of someone?”
“This area … we’ve been in the borderlands for a while. The scorpions were the first sign.”
“First sign of what? When I asked you about the scorpions before, you blew me off.”
“I know. It would’ve led to even more questions, and I just wanted us to get—”
At the sound of shouting back at the caravan, Seth and Raider both turned. With the palanquins circled, Seth couldn’t see what was happening in their midst.
There was no time to guess what new danger had arisen. Drawing his sword, Seth went charging across the sands. Raider quickly outpaced him. Red kaftan streaming in his wake, Raider darted between two of the parked palanquins and out of sight.
Seth raced after him and burst into the center of the caravan, ready for whatever desert creature threatened them now. He skidded to a stop, spraying sand.
Four of the Hammer had their swords at Raider’s throat. Raider was standing frozen, obviously having been taken by surprise. Nasrin and several others of the Hammer were standing at a slight distance. Nasrin was shouting for everyone to stop, to wait, to talk.
Well out of the danger, the arcanist Fadesh had Seth’s pack at his feet—and Seth’s notes in his hands.
Shit!
Seth had been so damn careful about staying close to his palanquin and gear. And no surprise, the first time he left his notes unguarded, trailing after Raider because he was worried, that sly shit had dug through everything.
Fadesh had undoubtedly found the maps that Seth had kept to himself. Had Seth marked the canyon? He couldn’t remember. Goddamn it, he probably had.
“Betrayal!” Fadesh shouted, his black hood back for once, his face red with righteous indignation. “Lies! They never intended to take us to Ulam and the Alchemist’s Stone! I told you, Nasrin!”
“Amir, Sasha, Rasul, Oban, lower your swords!” Nasrin ordered. “Raider, stay calm, we’ll figure this out! Seth—ahh!”
She broke off as she was forced to abandon her commands to whip up her sword and deflect Seth’s chakram.
Chaos ensued.
A dozen blades came flashing at Seth. He met them with hard blows. Too busy to catch his chakram on its return, he lost track of it.
Ducking, spinning, and slashing, Seth fought his way to the edge of the melee. He spotted Raider weaving through it all, trying to get clear of the blades and fists.
Seth wished like hell he could get to Fadesh and his pack with all his notes, but the arcanist had vanished.
“The palanquin!” Seth shouted to Raider when they managed to get close enough to each other in the fight. Seth’s chakram gleamed in Raider’s quicksilver fist. Raider’s scimitar was busy in his other hand.
The instant they had carved out the space to turn, they spun and raced to the palanquin. Seth launched himself into the driver’s seat while Raider dove in the other side.
As Seth fired up the engine, Raider slashed at one of the Hammer that caught up on his side. Then he lunged across Seth’s lap to fight back another that had come at Seth.
The palanquin lurched into motion.
“Hang on!” Seth shouted and flipped the switch on the booster that Julian had given him.
The brilliant young arcanist had pulled a few parts off the arcane boat they’d taken down the Burudu and converted them into an additional power source, just in case. But there had been no chance to test it. Seth prayed to the gods it would work.
The palanquin sprang forward, throwing them both back against the bench. Seth’s heart tried to leap from his body.
He wrestled with the control yoke, barely keeping the palanquin on its feet as it charged forward in an ungainly, lurching gait.
There was a loud crack, a whip snapping. The palanquin was yanked back. One leg folded. Raider, weapons abandoned on the bench, vanished from sight as he swung on the canopy frame and scrambled over the palanquin.
Seth wrangled the palanquin back onto its feet. As they lurched forward again, free, Raider swung back into his seat.
“What the fuck, Seth?!” Raider shouted over the clanging of the palanquin’s racing legs.
If nothing else, at least this crisis had proven what Seth had hoped. With no time for questions, Raider had instinctively, automatically chosen Seth. But this was not how Seth had wanted to do this. He’d imagined a quiet, nighttime getaway. Not a mad dash for freedom.
He winced at Raider’s furious expression. But there was no point in trying to explain himself right now. It was obvious what he’d done—forced them to escape—and he didn’t have the attention to spare for an argument. The super-charged palanquin demanded all his focus.
Over the next half hour, Seth did his best to gauge the direction and head toward the point in the canyon that he’d chosen. This wasn’t what he’d had in mind, but it could still work. At least, it seemed that way until the booster burned out the palanquin’s engine.
Julian had warned Seth that that was likely, but Seth had imagined a slow failing, or at least some warning. A grind. A whine. A sputter. But there was no warning whatsoever. The engine died abruptly. The legs froze.
The palanquin’s forward momentum sent it flying forward to crash on its short nose, spraying sand. Seth was smashed into the steering yoke. He tried to hang on as the world flipped upside down but found himself ripped away and flung free of the vehicle. He tumbled across the sand. Rolling to a stop, he lay stunned as the world kept spinning.
“Seth!”
Seth managed to roll onto his side and push himself partway up. The sand and sky flipped. He pitched sideways. Raider caught him and eased him down.
“M’okay,” Seth mumbled as Raider’s hands roamed all over him. He didn’t feel any pain, just disorientation. He tried to sit up, but Raider held him down.
“Stop moving,” Raider snapped. “Let me look at your leg.”
Seth realized his right leg was numb. He could barely even feel Raider’s hands pressing on it. Then he heard ripping cloth.
“Sit up!” Raider ordered, hauling Seth into a sitting position. “Hold this on the wound.”
Seth stared in surprise at the blood on Raider’s hands as he pressed a wadded up section of his kaftan against Seth’s thigh. Raider grabbed Seth’s jaw with one hand. Seth blinked Raider’s panicked eyes into focus.
“Seth, put your hands on the cloth. Press hard. Seth!” Seth’s teeth rattled as Raider shook him. “Do what I said!”
Seth complied sluggishly, aware that he was hurt but still not quite tracking everything. Raider vanished. He came back a few seconds later with the palanquin’s medical kit.
As Raider took over with the cloth, Seth flopped back in the sand and stared at the sky. Feeling was returning to his leg. Mostly pressure. Then pain.
There was a piercing punch that made Seth scream. He yanked upright to see Raider tossing the medical stapler aside.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Raider murmured, grabbing hold of him. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
Seth’s breath caught at the endearment. Raider had never called him that before. Floating on the bliss of that, Seth let himself drift away.
***
Seth roused to the unpleasant feeling of something jammed into his gut. His head was hanging, bumping with the movement under him. He was draped over Raider’s shoulder.
“Hhnn,” he mumbled.
Raider stopped and knelt. Seth felt himself slide off Raider’s shoulder and onto the hard pack.
Hard pack, not sand.
Raider had an arm around Seth’s shoulder, holding him up. “Drink,” he said, pressing a waterskin against Seth’s lips.
Seth raised his hands and took the waterskin, drinking thirstily. After a moment, Raider took it away.
Raider’s face appeared right in front of his. Those gorgeous amber eyes were anxious, intense, hunting.
“I’m here,” Seth said, trying to focus.
A little of the worry faded from Raider’s expression. “I’m taking us in the direction you were going. But I don’t know where we’re headed or why.”
Seth dragged his thoughts together. “There’s a gorge ahead. How far have we gone?”
“Four miles since the crash?”
“You carried me four miles?”
“I’m not hurt, Seth, not like you.”
“What do you mean, not like me? Are you—”
“Stop it. Focus. Tell me about the gorge and why the hell we’re going there.”
“It’s steep. Too steep for the palanquins. We’re going down it. To the river.” Exhausted, Seth closed his eyes.
“Going down how?”
The words reached Seth, but his brain couldn’t quite process them.
Raider touched his face. The touch was gentle. His voice was not. “ How , Seth? Wake the fuck up. Going down how ? ”
“Multi tool. Harpon. Har poon ,” he corrected. “Rappel.”
“This was your plan? For fuck’s sake, Seth. I’m so goddamn angry with you.” Despite the hard tone, Raider stroked Seth’s cheek tenderly.
“Sorry.”
“Yeah, you better be, asshole,” Raider grumbled and leaned in to kiss Seth’s temple. “How much farther?”
Seth tried to think. “Don’t know. Not much? We’re close. Tonight was … the plan.”
Raider let out a string of curses. Then he froze. “Shit.”
“Shit, what?”
“They’re catching up.”