Chapter Thirty-Eight
Longbourn
It was unusual for the Bennet patriarch to visit his daughters in their rooms, and even more unusual for Mary to be the daughter visited. She stood up at once when he entered. “Papa?” she said, uncertainly.
“You are not in any trouble, child,” he said at once. “I merely have a question to pose to you.”
She sat on the edge of the bed and motioned to the chair beside it.
Sitting, Mr. Bennet decided to approach the subject obliquely. “What think you of your new cousin, Mr. Collins?”
“What do I think of him?” Mary repeated. She thought for a moment, and then said, quietly, “You wish to know if I would accept him as a husband, I suppose.”
Mr. Bennet stared at her in astonishment.
She laughed at his surprise. “It was not a difficult deduction, Papa. I know Mama would never permit Jane to marry him, and Lizzy, Kitty and Lydia could never be persuaded to meet him at the altar. That leaves me.”
“Well thought out, Mary,” her father replied, ruefully. “That is exactly the situation.”
Mary sighed. “I truly would rather not marry him, if I am honest, Papa. I know Mama sets great store by the idea of keeping Longbourn in the family, but I feel rather like a maiden about to be sacrificed to appease a monster.”
Mr. Bennet came to an immediate conclusion.
“Then you shall not marry him, Mary. I have not been an attentive father, but I think I can at least be a father who would not sacrifice his daughter to a monster. Or, in this case, a fool. You are too good for him, Mary, and that is the plain truth of it. I know your mother disparages your looks but, honestly, you look fine to me. And you are not a fool. On the contrary, I know you to be kind, sensible, and reliable. Yes, you are too good for him, and he shall not have you.”
With that, Mr. Bennet rose and exited, leaving a baffled but delighted Mary behind.
She could not recall ever having received such commendation from her father – or, for that matter, her mother.
She hugged his praise to herself, chanting the words over and over.
“Kind, sensible, reliable. You look fine to me. Too good for him.”
Mr. Bennet went to his wife’s bedroom and gave her the news. None of the Bennet girls would marry Mr. Collins; Longbourn would be lost to them forever. He held her as she wept.
***
Mr. Collins sat in the parlour with Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth.
In truth, he could scarce wait to propose to Miss Elizabeth.
Now that he thought about it, she truly was just as pretty as her elder sister, though in a very different way.
Blond hair and blue eyes were the established mode of prettiness in young ladies, thus it had been Miss Bennet who had been his first object of admiration.
But he now found himself approving of Miss Elizabeth’s mahogany tresses, and the way the light brought out shades of red. Yes, she was pretty enough to suit him.
Both Jane and Elizabeth were well aware that Mr. Collins’ attention had shifted from Jane to Elizabeth. Jane might have been happy not to have his eyes focused on her, had she not immediately seen that now Lizzy was made to feel uncomfortable.
Both girls were glad when Mrs. Bennet joined them, as she distracted Mr. Collins from his admiration of his future bride by asking a good many questions about Lady Catherine and Rosings Park.
Jane and Elizabeth were grateful that she was doing so, but were puzzled as well.
Why was she not praising Elizabeth to the skies, eager to elicit a proposal from him?
They were even more puzzled when Mr. Bennet walked in. He was not one to frequent the parlour during the day, preferring to spend his time in his study. “Mr. Colllins, I must speak with you,” he said, without preamble.
Mrs. Bennet nodded and rose, saying, “Jane, Lizzy, come with me.”
The two girls followed their mother out of the room and immediately demanded answers. “Mama, what is going on?” Jane asked.
“Your father and I have agreed that he cannot have any of you, except possibly Mary, but only if she was willing, which she was not. She says something about being sacrificed to a monster in order to keep the kingdom safe, or some such thing. I do not pretend to understand it. Your father is telling Mr. Collins that none of the Bennet girls will marry him.”
Jane and Elizabeth digested this news in silence. Finally, Elizabeth said, “I would have thought you would try to force one of us to do so.”
Mrs. Bennet replied, quietly, “I would have liked one of you to marry him, yes. If only he had been sensible! Or at least handsome!” She shook her head, clearly unhappy.
“Perhaps Charlotte Lucas?” Jane suggested. “I do not mean to suggest that she could not get a better husband, only that…” She trailed off, sensitive to the fact that Charlotte, a dear friend, was well on her way to being an old maid.
Elizabeth looked at her elder sister admiringly. “You are brilliant, Jane!”
***
“I do not have the pleasure of understanding you, sir,” Mr. Collins said, sitting up very straight and frowning mightily at his host.
“It is simple enough, Mr. Collins,” Mr. Bennet said, holding on to his temper with an effort. “I do understand that you wished to marry one of my daughters, but none of them wish to marry you.”
“That is not possible,” Mr. Collins declared. “Do they not understand that I am to inherit the estate?”
“They are not deficient in understanding, Mr. Collins.” Mr. Bennet bit out the words.
Mr. Collins continued to shake his head. “But I was willing to settle for Miss Elizabeth,” he said, plaintively.
Settle? Settle! Settle for Elizabeth? Mr. Bennet could scarce believe his ears. “Settle for her? Do you have the slightest idea of how bright, how gifted…” Words failed him.
“You are an affectionate parent, I know, Mr. Bennet,” Mr. Collins said, his dignity now restored to him. “I believe, however, that I have the right of this. I insist on being permitted to offer myself to her, as I am certain of her acceptance.”
Mr. Bennet considered this. It would doubtless be a highly entertaining proposal, and Lizzy could be counted on to repeat it back to her father for their joint amusement. “If I allow you to speak with her and you are refused, will you then agree to leave the rest of my girls in peace?”
“Certainly.”
“Wait here, then.”
***
Elizabeth shook her head. “Papa, I can scarce believe this. He wishes to propose to me even though you have told him that I will not accept him?”
“He is insistent, Lizzy. But he has agreed that after that, he will leave all the Bennet girls in peace.”
Elizabeth said, “This is everything absurd; is my father’s word not enough to deter him?”
“Evidently not,” Mrs. Bennet put in. “But think of this, Lizzy; you can mention Charlote Lucas to him.”
***
Mr. Collins rose and bowed as Elizabeth entered the parlour. He took a deep breath and began, “Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject…”
Elizabeth interrupted him. “Mr. Collins, in the interest of saving both of us time and very likely embarrassment, please allow me to tell you that I have no interest in marrying you. I do not think we would suit in any manner. But I have a friend, Charlotte Lucas, who I very much believe would be the perfect wife for you and the perfect companion to a clergyman.”
Mr. Collins shook his head and tried, doggedly, to continue. “My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances…”
But again, he was interrupted. “Do you not see, Mr. Collins, how little we would suit? I continually interrupt you to tell you that I do not wish to hear you out, and you, in equal measure, refuse to hear my words! Can you truly contemplate a lifetime of such interactions with equanimity?”
This seemed to take Mr. Collins aback. “Is this truly your nature, Miss Elizabeth?”
“To be contrary? And troublesome? Very definitely.”
He considered this, scratching his Adam’s apple as he did so. Finally, he said, “I would not like that in a wife, I am certain. You are right; we would not suit. Your two youngest sisters are too young; what of Miss Mary?”
“Allow me to introduce you to Miss Lucas, my friend, and then you might consider if you prefer her to my sister, Mary. After all, a gentleman such as yourself should have a choice, should he not?” Elizabeth knew that Mary would not have him, but if this strategy bore its expected result, it would not matter.
This sly remark made much of an impact upon its hearer. Mr. Collins agreed most heartily that a gentleman such as himself should have a choice, and that he would meet this Miss Lucas.