Chapter 3
Three
L ily cringed as the check engine light came on in her car.
“Come on, come on. I know you’re tired, but so am I. I just need you to last a few more weeks, okay?” Was she begging the car she’d had for over ten years to keep going? Yes, yes, she was. Because by then, she’d hopefully be in an apartment in the middle of town, where she could walk everywhere with the baby.
The car clanked loudly in response to her request, making Lily groan. An unexpected mechanic’s bill was the absolute last thing she needed. Well, that, and to go into labor early.
“Don’t even think about it, Sprout.” She laid her hand over her belly, where her daughter rolled. “I know you’re the best little girl. Mommy loves you so much already, but it would really be helpful if you waited until after your due date to arrive, okay?”
Lily pulled into the driveway of the home she shared with her fiance, James, and tried not to let the anger coursing through her veins affect her as she parked next to his brand new truck. She’d nearly lost her mind when he’d brought the stupid thing home a few weeks before. It didn’t even have a full cab, so there was no place to safely put the baby.
Jesus, she was feeling flustered. She’d known Gunner was coming home for days, so why was it hitting her so hard? It had been years since she’d seen him, but there was still that same sparkle in his eye that had always taken her breath away.
And why, why did he need to come out of his room looking like a freaking demigod, with his tanned body still dewy, making the tattoos that covered nearly every inch of his torso stand out like delicious little treats? She’d even drooled a bit at the veins that bulged in his arms as he carried the laundry basket down the hall for her.
Tears stung her eyes when she thought about how he’d been back five minutes and was already being kinder and more considerate of her condition than her own fiance.
When was the last time James had even asked her if she needed help with a chore, let alone actually gotten up off his lazy ass to help?
“Where have you been?” James sneered as she walked in the door. Her eyes drifted down to the bottle of beer in his hand. Great.
“Working. You know, the thing you should also be doing.”
“I spent all day looking for a job.”
Lily turned to face the wall as she rolled her eyes. Right. And she was the Queen of England. “You need to start putting in more applications, James. The baby is going to be here in less than a month and we don’t even have her room set or any of the things she’ll need. You could always talk to your dad about?—”
“Don’t even fucking suggest it, Lily. You know I’d rather die than join the family business.”
“I don’t understand why, James. He charters fishing trips. You don’t even have to go out on the ocean if you don’t want. You could just work in the office booking clients! Anything would help.”
“I said no, Lil. That’s final.”
“So, you’ll just let your pregnant fiance take care of everything? Do you even know how hard I’ve been working every day? How much my body hurts when I lay down for the night?”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have been such a selfish bitch, and let my mother throw us a baby shower. How about that? Her uppity friends would have been more than happy to give us everything we need for the baby, but no, you just couldn’t give my mom the credit she deserves.”
“James, I am not going to have this argument with you again.” Lily moved across their living room, towards the kitchen. She knew she’d need to cook dinner, but seeing Gunner, trying to put on an act that everything in her life was perfect when it was all really falling apart, had drained her of all her energy. “I don’t think it’s smart for us to owe your mother anything, and I’m happy with my stance on that. I’ve been saving a lot in our account. You know Gia is paying me well over what she should for the hours I’m working.”
“Then why the fuck would I need to get a job if you’ve got such a great one?”
“Because you are thirty-four years old, James! Because I’m about to be your wife and you’ve got a baby on the way! You have responsibilities to take care of. I’ll be out of work for at least six weeks after the baby is born, and then after that we are going to have the cost of childcare on top of the bills we almost can’t cover now.” Lily sat in a kitchen chair, rubbing her throbbing temples. She must not have had enough to drink that day, and the stress of arguing with James was making her headache worse.
“Then let’s move in with my parents. You know they have that cottage on the back of their property. Mom offered it to us, and I know they would let us stay there rent-free. She would be happy to watch the baby?—”
“James! Do you hear yourself? You won’t go to work for your father, but you’ll make me live with your mom? You’ll let her watch our daughter after the horrible things she said about me?”
“You made her say those things, Lil. She wouldn’t have reacted like that if you weren’t so impossible.”
“Get out, James.” Lily’s heart was pounding in her ears, the pain from her headache now radiating out from behind her eyes. “If your parent’s home is such a great place, then go stay there. Without me.”
James wrapped his hand around her arm and pulled her up from the chair. He pressed his face forcefully into hers, spit hitting her ear as he hissed into it.
“You don’t fucking tell me what to do, Lily. You don’t want to be around me, then you be the fucking one to leave.”
“Don’t touch me like that.” Lily pulled her arm free from his grasp and rubbed her skin. She already had red marks from where his fingers had dug into her skin. Just another thing she’d need to hide behind her smile the next day at work.
“I’ll touch you any way I like. You’re my fiance. Soon to be my wife. And that’s my baby you’re carrying. Don’t you think you should speak to me with a little more respect than that?”
“Respect?” The word came out an entire octave higher than she meant for it to. “James, I’m sorry, but you’ve got to be kidding me. You knock me up and have to have your mom pressure you into proposing, lose your job, drink all day and all night with your worthless friends, put your hands on me in such a vicious way that I’m constantly covering up bruises. I work to cover all the bills, I cook for you, I pick up after you…There is no energy left in my body for respect towards you.”
“You fucking ungrateful bitch. ”
“I’m not ungrateful. I know how you were there for me when my parents found out I was pregnant. The things they said to me,” her voice choked on the memory. “I wouldn’t have been okay without the sweet way you reassured me that night. But I want that James back. I don’t want the version of you that’s here today.”
“So fucking leave, Lily.”
And there it was. Her mouth watered and her stomach churned with pure acid as she fell back into the realization that she was well and truly stuck where she was, while a smile lit his face up.
“If you’re so amazing and I’m so pathetic, why aren’t you out on your own, Lil? Oh, that’s right, no one else was willing to help the mayor’s knocked up, unwed daughter. The only reason you can still find work here is because my parents carry so much influence. Leave me, and all that goes out the window too. So, I hope you’re ready for life with me, Lily, because I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
James walked out of the kitchen, and Lily flinched as their front door slammed shut. The rev of his truck’s engine told her he was heading out to the bars once again. No surprise there. He may not have any surprises for her, but she sure had one for him. While she was depositing money into their joint account to pay for everything from groceries to the electricity bill, she’d also been saving, here and there, as much as she could in her own bank account.
There was almost enough in the account for a down payment and first month’s rent on a small one-bedroom place Gia had told her about. Her best friend didn’t know it, but she had given Lily the courage to leave. Of course, she wasn’t being honest with Gia about everything that was happening, but with the little she did share, she knew Gia had picked up her desperation to get away. Still, she never made Lily feel stupid for being in this desperate position in the first place, and that meant everything to her.
“Okay, sweet girl,” Lily said, patting her belly as the baby kicked. “Mama is going to get this all figured out. We’re going to be okay. I promise.”