Chapter 18
Eighteen
“ G ood morning.” Lily’s smile met him as he walked into the kitchen. He was feeling extra grumpy after spending the night tossing and turning. It didn’t feel right to be in bed alone.
He’d tried to listen for Sage waking up, but Lily must have been on top of things because he didn’t hear a peep. That killed him. It had been their special time for nearly all of Sage’s life. That middle of the night wakeup. He enjoyed settling her down, getting her diaper changed, and bundling her back up before handing her off to Lily to nurse. Now, he didn’t get to have that, and it pissed him off.
He hadn’t ever even accidentally brushed against Lily in all the time they were sleeping together. She built a pillow wall at first, but that was gone after a few nights. It was driving him fucking crazy that he didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to hold her through the night when he had the chance. Maybe if he had, his wife would still be sleeping in his bed, and he’d get those sweet midnight moments with Sprout.
“Morning, Lil.” Sage was sitting next to the window, happily rocking back and forth in her swing chair. “Hey there, beautiful. Are you all ready for your first day at home with just mom?”
Lily groaned behind him.
“What?”
“Can we not talk about that part of the day? Let’s just focus on you getting to go back to work. Are you ready for that?”
“Why wouldn’t we talk about what you and Sprout are going to be up to today?”
“Because I’m nervous, Gunner! I’m scared that I won’t be able to calm her down when she cries. You know she loves to be in your arms when she gets really worked up. And she’s only ever had the both of us around.”
“She’s not going to get worked up today, are you, Sprout? You’re going to be good for your mama, isn’t that right?”
Sage looked up at him with a mischievous gleam in her eye, and it almost made Gunner laugh.
“Maybe she will be sassy. But I’m just going to be in the office all day. You have your access card, right?”
She nodded, still worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Stop that. You’re going to make it bleed.” He ran his thumb across her mouth until she released the strawberry red flesh. Her cheeks flushed as he dropped his hand away. “If you can’t get her settled, which I seriously don’t think will happen, either bring her down to the office, or call me and I’ll come upstairs. It’s that simple. There’s nothing going on today that would stop me from coming home to you and her. Okay?”
“Okay.”
The warm scent of cinnamon washed over him.
“Are you making something in the oven?”
“Yes.” She blushed again as she opened the oven door and peeked inside. He loved the way her beautiful skin always betrayed how she was truly feeling around him. “I asked to borrow some ingredients from Mae.”
“Well, whatever it is, it smells delicious.”
“I made some cinnamon rolls for you to take with you today. And I packed your lunch. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come up here and eat with us, but I figured I’d pack you something in case you stayed downstairs and caught up with the guys. Which, for the record, I hope you do.”
“I’ll probably just work through lunch, but that was really sweet of you, Lil.”
“It’s nothing, honestly. I enjoyed doing it.”
“So,” he stopped the chair Sage was swinging in from moving and undid the clasp keeping her in place. God, the way her eyes went wide and her toothless smile popped out at him made his whole fucking day. “What did you pack for me?”
“Sage’s favorite. A peanut butter and onion sandwich.”
Gunner laughed, tickling Sage’s belly as he walked towards their table. “Is your mommy teasing me, Sprout, or did you really convince her to pack me that monstrosity? Was it you?”
“I guess you’ll just have to see at lunch time. Now sit down so I can get you a cinnamon roll before you have to be downstairs.”
He watched with Sage on his lap as Lily bustled around their new kitchen, pulling the rolls from the oven and then slathering them in frosting. Lord, he was going to have to hit the gym before his meeting with the guys or he’d be in a sugar coma for a week. Not that he would tell that to her.
“Here you go.”
“Wow. These are huge, Lil.”
“Don’t you know that saying about everything being bigger in Texas?” she laughed.
“I guess so. I’m not sure I can eat all of this.”
“Well, whatever you don’t eat, you can take with you. And you have to take the rest down to the guys and Mae because if I have them in this apartment, I’ll end up the size of Texas myself.”
He picked up the roll, still holding Sage with the other hand, and laughed as she reached for it.
“Sorry, sweetheart. Go to your mama. It’s a few more months until you can have anything other than her milk.”
“What’s going on with the Santoro case?” Gunner asked an hour later in the conference room at Montgomery Defense. He’d spent thirty minutes in the ring sparring with Hawk when he first got downstairs trying to work off the sugar rush from his breakfast. The other guys were too busy indulging in Lily’s baking to join them, and he was watching them pay the price as the meeting went on.
“Max has been keeping us in the loop as best he can.”
Maxwell Wilson was the FBI special agent the team had worked closely with over the past year while investigating the Santoro crime family. Gunner had nothing but the highest respect for the man, who, from all accounts, dropped everything to provide resources after Emma’s attack.
“So, he’s hoping we can help with their push into the south?”
“Seems so.”
What was with all the clipped answers?
“What the fuck aren’t you guys saying?”
The guys all looked back and forth, doing nothing to settle the unease building in Gunner’s chest.
“Look, man, we weren’t sure how to bring this up to you, but we’ve been talking about the direction we want for the business,” Hawk said.
“And? ”
There was a pause. A really long and fucking annoying pause as Gunner watched them decide who was going to say whatever had all their britches in a twist.
“We don’t want to do this contract work anymore.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
“What?”
“What we saw Emma and Cap go through, it fucking changes things. I like this little community we’ve moved into. We can do good things here and have a simple life. I never want to see someone else go through what they did.”
“How the fuck do we make sure people don’t go through what they did if we aren’t out in the field? A simple life? Who the fuck are you guys? Where did my team full of adrenaline junkies go? The fucking Santoros are moving into our region. They’re not only moving drugs and weapons, but women and children, and you’re telling me you want to just wash your hands of it?”
“You have a family now, Reap. None of us should be more excited than you to get out of this part of our jobs. You’re telling me the thrill of a mission is better than seeing your daughter smile at you when you go home at night? That it’s better than laying down with your wife in your arms? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Gage’s rage was palpable and Gunner deserved it.
He sat back in his chair. Fuck. They were right.
“Lily is okay with the danger. She knew I wouldn’t give it up when she agreed to marry me.”
“She loves you, Gunner. Of course she is going to say that. But I bet she’ll be thrilled to hear that we don’t want to work for the agencies anymore.”
“We have contracts.”
“Seb is looking into how to dissolve them.”
“You’re telling me Cap is okay with this? Those contracts were worth millions for this company. He’s just okay with dissolving them?”
“He’s our friend before anything else. He wants us to be happy, and he’s okay with us getting out.” Stone shrugged, like Gunner should just accept this new reality. But what they were proposing, running a little security firm that took care of what? The local grocery store? A doctor’s office and the library? Jesus. That sounded like fucking hell to him.
“So, what are we going to do? How are we going to make this business work if we aren’t supplementing it with contracts?”
“Mae wants us to offer a self-defense class for people to come take. I think it’s a good idea,” Hawk said as he shrugged his shoulders. “She joined a book club and said she’d recruit them. And although I trust her to kick anyone’s ass who makes her feel uncomfortable, I know she’s hoping one of us will work with her to teach the class. It can’t be me, though. I already spend too much time with her.” Hawk’s wide, haunted eyes made the guys laugh, and Gunner realized he missed Gia. He mentally added calling his sister to his never ending list of shit he needed to take care of.
“We definitely have the floor space for something like that. I’m happy to work on it with her,” Stone offered.
“Do we have people coming in to use the training equipment yet?” Gunner asked. “Are we actively reaching out to any local agencies to get their employees in?”
“It’s been touch and go. We have a few deputies who will come in after their shifts, and some fire guys, but mainly we’ve been dealing with taking on security clients. We have seven businesses around Clarence County that we’ve installed new or upgraded systems for. I’ve got two more this week that I’m doing a walk-through with,” Gage shared.
“And the new building for tactical training? Is that still on track? ”
“I’ve been overseeing that,” Nash said. “It’s on schedule, but there are still at least three months until we are ready to have a team come through and test it. I’ve got a group of Texas Rangers scheduled to run through several drills the last week in September, but I’m hoping we can test it a few times ourselves before then.”
“Okay. I’d like to jump on that project with you, Wings. I’ve got some ideas for scenarios we can write up and run through together before we let any teams train.”
“Yeah. That’s fine.”
“So what else is in the works?”
“Why don’t we do something like a community open night?” Stone asked.
“Is it smart to have a bunch of people we haven’t vetted milling about our business?” Gage asked.
“It’ll drum up interest. I know people are probably curious about what’s going on here. And they’d only be going into the training space. We’ve got everything important behind key card entry doors.”
“Count me out,” Gunner grumbled.
“No can do, Reap. You’re a part of the team. Bring Lily and Sage. It’ll be good for her to meet some new people, and maybe she’ll help settle you.”
“We’ll come for a self-defense class. Lord knows I want her to have those skills. But I’m skipping the germ infested community night with my newborn.”
“A protective daddy? Who would have guessed?” Hawk teased.
“Never say that to me again,” he replied, causing all the guys to laugh.
“God, I’ve missed this. It’s good to have everyone back together,” Gage said.
“Leave it to Tracker to get all emotional. ”
“Fuck off, Hawk. You guys are the only family I have left. Sorry for liking when we’re all together.”
The room fell silent.
“I’m going to go find Mae and figure out when she wants to start that class up,” Stone cleared his throat and stood. “And for the record, I’m glad we have each other too, Gage.” He clasped his hand on Gage’s shoulder and squeezed before leaving the room.
“I think I’m going to get more coffee,” Hawk said. “Nash, you want to join me?”
“Yep, yep. I’m coming.”
“Okay, now that I’ve made things weird, are we all done here?” Gage asked.
“You didn’t make things weird. We shouldn’t forget what you’ve been through. I’m sorry, man.”
“Wow, an apology. Marriage and fatherhood are really changing you, Gunner.” He shook his head. “I’m just in my head a lot lately.”
“Is it Lily and Sage?” Gunner asked.
“No.” Gage sighed, running his hands through his hair. “Maybe. I’m so fucking happy for you, Reap. It just brings up a lot of memories for me.”
“I’m sorry. If you want us to step back, if it’s easier if we don’t do things together for a while, I understand.”
“Don’t you dare. Just because I don’t have them anymore doesn’t mean I won’t be the best uncle to Sage. I’m going to spoil her so much that you’ll be begging me to stay away.”
“Okay, but if it becomes too much, promise to let me know. I gave Mel my word I’d keep an eye on you. I didn’t do a good job of that those first few months while you were grieving.”
“You did?”
He nodded. “At the funeral. I knew she wouldn’t be able to rest unless she knew someone had your back. ”
“Thanks, Gunner.” A message flashed on Gage’s phone and he groaned. “Shit. I completely forgot I’m meeting with Sloane in a few minutes to go over her new office system.”
“Sloane?” Gunner asked.
“She’s the shrink next door,” Hawk answered as he walked back into the conference room with Nash. “You’d think she’d be full of sass and just a real spitfire with her blazing red hair, but she’s just about the quietest woman I’ve ever met.”
“I didn’t realize there was a business next door. I guess I assumed Cap owned the entire building.”
“Oh, he does. But she was the only business in the building when he bought it, and he let her stay. Our apartments go over her office, so she’s just on the first floor,” Nash said. “Gage, invite her to our cookout this weekend.”
“We’re having a cookout?” Gunner looked around the room.
“Oops, guess we forgot to extend the invite to the guests of honor. Sorry man,” Nash laughed. “Figured we’d head to the park on the other side of Silver Springs and hang out for the day. There’s a really nice pavilion over there and a place for us to grill. That way, no one has to host and we can just chill.”
“You guys don’t have plans, do you?” Gage asked.
“No. We’re free. Someone text me the details and we’ll be there.”