Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
“ L ook, we know that Antonio Santoro is trying to set this up in your backyard as a big fuck you to all the agencies involved in taking down his nephew.”
FBI Special Agent Max Wilson paced back and forth in front of the conference table at Montgomery Defense. Gage had gotten him to agree to drive from Dallas to Silver Springs for a meeting with the team that afternoon.
“He can try to do whatever he wants, but there is no way we’re sitting back while they try to traffic women and children through here. Not to mention coming after my wife twice now.”
“I contacted Sheriff Porter as soon as Gage filled me in on what happened. There is no known association between Cole Trudall and the Santoro family.”
Gunner’s eyes drifted to the picture of the bastard who had tried to take Lily on the board in front of him. There was nothing in his eyes. No remorse. No regret. Nothing. Images of Cole putting his hands on Lily flooded his mind. She swore he hadn’t hurt her, but Gunner had seen the fear in her eyes when she had to tell a deputy all the details of what had happened.
“But he isn’t a fucking local, so where the fuck does that leave us, Max? He told Lily that his boss wasn’t happy with him for not kidnapping her the first time. Who the fuck could he be talking about if not them?”
“I don’t have that answer for you, Gunner, but I do have information on the next step we’re taking against the Santoros.”
“Fill us in.” Hawk’s normal flippant attitude was nowhere to be found.
“My team in Dallas is setting up a raid on one of the suspected warehouses where we believe the Santoros are moving women through. We want to coordinate the raid to be the most effective it can be at identifying any players outside of Antonio and the family members we are already watching.”
“What do you need us to do?”
“Have you heard of the Chaos Knights Motorcycle Club?”
The men sat silent.
“Right, well, their club is mainly on the outskirts of Dallas, and law enforcement has been watching them on suspected distribution of this new hyper potent drug called Xyn. They’ve had twenty-five overdose calls in the last week for it, but haven’t been able to pinpoint the manufacturers or the main distributors.”
“You think the Santoros are involved?”
“We’ve seen a few lower level family members in the area the MC claims is their territory and things between them have seemed…friendly.”
“Okay, so the Santoros are going to jump on this Xyn and push it? Is that what you’re thinking?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. What really got our interest in the Chaos Knights was their recent change of leadership. Their old president died two months ago in a shootout. The new president is apparently putting out feelers for a new venture.”
“Let me guess,” Hawk said. “They’re jumping on the chance to work with the Santoros trafficking women?”
“That’s what we’re hearing,” Max confirmed.
“So, what? You split your team between the MC and the warehouse and we divide ourselves up to help?”
“No. We’ll be executing the raid at the warehouse, but your task isn’t to apprehend anyone.”
“Boring,” Hawk mumbled.
“Yeah, it probably will be, but it’s still important we get this part taken care of, too. Gage, can you bring up that picture I sent you?”
“Sure.” Gage projected a satellite picture of what looked to be a small compound on the wall behind Max.
“The FBI has two agents undercover with the Chaos Knights. According to one agent, their next Xyn drop is in three nights. It’s going to take place outside Dallas in a remote hideout the MC owns.”
“So, we’re what? Glorified photographers?”
Max nodded. “This is what we need, and my team can’t be in two places at once. We suspect someone from the Santoro family will be there to watch the drop and see if the MC is worth working with. You guys get this evidence, I’ll see if I can get you onto the take down team for the Santoros when the time comes.”
“Hey sweet girl. How about you give your mama a break and come see your dad? I missed you today.”
“She missed you too,” Lily said as she placed the baby in Gunner’s arms.
“What did you guys get up to while you were in town? ”
“Oh.” Shit! Had Stone said something to him? She’d spent all afternoon feeling like an idiot after she got home from seeing Sloane’s office. Honestly, she already loved the idea of working so much that she didn’t want her little dizzy spell to prime Gunner for saying no. “A little of this and a little of that. Sage needed a couple of new bodysuits. I hope it’s okay that I bought some of the next two sizes for her. I used the card you gave me.”
“Of course it is, Lil. Get her whatever she needs.”
“Thank you. You know, I was nervous at first about fitting in here, but Silver Springs is so charming and the people are so sweet.” Lily handed the warm bottle to Gunner. “She’s probably going to be fussing in a few minutes for that. Figured we’d get ahead of the crying.”
“Smart.” Gunner’s eyes closed slightly as he looked Lily up and down. The sight was unnerving and her stomach rolled. “So, why did I hear from Sloane today that you were interested in the receptionist’s job at her practice?”
Shoot. So much for getting the job first and setting up her own bank account before dumping the news on him.
“She shouldn’t have said anything to you.”
“Lily Kate, that is not the point. I thought you were going over there for girl time, not for a job interview.” Gunner patted the spot next to him on the couch and Lily plopped down next to him. “What is going on? Are you okay?”
“I just don’t feel right taking more from you, Gunner. You’ve already paid for so much. Everything I’ve needed for Sage, including her delivery and when I was sick after. The whole move here. I just sit back and contribute nothing.” Lily ran her sweaty hands up and down the fabric covering her legs. “Besides, one day when you finally find someone you want to be with, I’ll be out on my own and I won’t even have a bank account in my name or work experience here. I need to be smart and think about the future for Sage and myself. There’s no reason I can’t be providing for myself, and for her right now.”
“Lily,” Gunner growled. “I told you when we got married, you’ve given me the gift of a family I thought I would never get to have. I’m not walking away from you or Sage.”
“You say that now, Gunner, because there is no one else in your life. But one day, a beautiful woman will come strolling into town and you’ll realize that you’ve done enough for us. You’ll want to be with her. You’ll want to marry her and start a family of your own with her. I won’t stop you from that happiness, but I also don’t want to start from square one again. Having a job, having a bank account of my own makes me feel safe. I want to stop relying on you for everything.”
“There is so much wrong with what you just said.” Gunner set the now empty bottle down, hoisting Sage onto his shoulder for a sleepy burp before she drifted off into her milk coma. “I would never notice a new woman in town, because I meant the vows I said to you, Lil. I don’t want to make a family with anyone else, because I already have a beautiful family right here. You and Sage are exactly what I want.”
“But this isn’t a real marriage, Gunner.”
Sage let out a large burp and Gunner laughed, rising from the couch to put her down in her bassinet. She fussed for a second before giving in to her nap.
Lily stood from the sofa and walked over to look at her daughter. That’s when she felt Gunner’s hand slide to the small of her back and she melted into his chest.
“If you want to work, we can figure out daycare for Sprout. If you want to stay home with her and still have your own bank account, we can set that up. I don’t want you to think you owe me anything, though, Lily. You’re my wife. Sage is my daughter. I’m doing what any husband would do to take care of his family. ”
Lily looked up into Gunner’s eyes. “But I’m not really your wife. Not fully.”
He pulled her closer and her heart nearly exploded as he pressed his lips to hers. Years of waiting, wondering, and pining after something she couldn’t have. Years of watching him from afar, years of making the wrong decision with men because she couldn’t have the one she wanted washed off of her soul. His kiss was warm, and she invited him to take more by opening to him as his tongue licked out across the seam of her lips.
It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a clear expression of all the pent up tension they’d been experiencing over the last few months. It was the closeness she craved and needed more than anything else in the world.
Tears burned in her eyes, and she let out a whimper. Just great. Now was not the time for her wonky emotions to overwhelm her, but there they were.
Gunner broke their kiss, looking a mix between scared and disappointed.
“Lily?”
“I’m so sorry.” The tears choked her voice. She wanted nothing more than to get back to kissing, but finally having him so close was clearly making her brain malfunction.
“It’s okay. I understand.” Gunner released his hold on her and walked out of their living room.
“No,” she cried, but he just kept walking. How could she have messed that up so badly?
She buried her face in her hands and cried, sinking down into the couch and wishing it would just swallow her whole. The sound of their apartment door opening startled her, and when she picked up her head, her heart shattered all over again at the sight of Gunner clearly getting ready to leave.
“Where are you going?” she asked through the tears.
“Out. ”
“I want to explain. I wasn’t upset about the kiss, Gunner. I was just overwhelmed. I’ve been?—”
“It’s fine, Lily Kate. I shouldn’t have done that. We have boundaries and I crossed them.”
She saw the hurt in his eyes, the same eyes that wouldn’t look at her as he grabbed his keys from the hook by the door and took a step into the hallway.
“When are you coming home?” she called after him.
“I don’t know, Lil. Don’t wait up, okay?” and with that, Gunner shut the door behind him.
“Please, just come back,” she whispered.
Her skin felt tight, like her body was suddenly too small for all the emotions welling up inside her. Lily scooped Sage out of her bassinet and grabbed her diaper bag before leaving the apartment. Standing in the hallway, she didn’t have a clue where to go, but she knew she couldn’t be in that space without Gunner for one more minute.
How could he be so attentive to her needs when it came to her health and Sage, but he couldn’t see her as a woman with needs, too? Needs that she so desperately wanted him to take care of.
“Lily?” Mae stood in front of her, grocery bags in hand and a concerned smile painted across her face, while Hawk looked at her like she was a ticking time bomb. “Are you okay?”
She just shook her head. Why did his rejection hurt so much?
“Do you want to come over and talk? I just picked up three different types of ice cream and I have wine. I even have a nice quilt we can lay out on the floor for Sage to play on when she wakes up.” She smiled at the baby in Lily’s arms.
“I don’t want to interrupt whatever you guys had planned for the night.”
“You’re not interrupting anything. This idiot was about to head downstairs for a workout.” Mae pointed at her brother and Lily let out a soggy laugh.
“Are you sure?” she raised a questioning eyebrow in Hawk’s direction.
“Despite her terrible track record with telling the truth, Mae isn’t lying now.” Mae jabbed her elbow into Hawk’s stomach and he let out a grunt. “I was about to work out, but maybe I should visit a certain neighbor of ours and give him hell for making a beautiful woman cry? We saw him going downstairs, and he was certainly in a mood.”
“No, that’s not necessary. I made myself cry, I promise.”
“Now, why would you do that, gorgeous?”
“Because I’m an idiot.” She smiled at Hawk.
“Ahh, you and Mae being fast friends makes so much sense now.”
“Would you shut up, stop flirting with her, and go spend some time downstairs? Preferably all night, you meathead.”
“I’ll definitely leave you two to chat once I get these groceries inside and can change into my gym clothes. Let’s go. Can’t have the ice cream melting on you.”
“I wasn’t even sure what I was doing leaving the apartment, but you’re the answer to prayers, Mae. We won’t stay long.” Lily waved to Hawk as he left the apartment.
“Oh, hush. I could use some girl time myself and you know I’m always up for baby snuggles.”
“She makes everything feel like it’s going to be okay.”
“It will be, honey. Now come sit down and tell me what that bonehead did to make you cry. I’ll kick his ass myself before ice cream if you want me to.”
“Can I tell you something no one else knows?”
“Of course. Anything you tell me will stay between us, Lil.”
“Keep it a secret. It can never get out, even to the other guys on the team. ”
“You’re scaring me Lily. Are you okay?”
“Yes. Thanks to Gunner.”
“What does that mean?”
“Gunner and I grew up together, so we didn’t lie when we said we’ve known each other our whole lives. But before he came back to say goodbye to his mom, I hadn’t seen him in almost five years.” She waited for the information to sink in. “I was nine months pregnant when he came home.”
Mae’s eyes grew wide with understanding. “So he’s not…”
“No. He’s not Sage’s biological father. And he only married me because…well because I’m pathetic and found myself in a really tough spot.”
“You are not pathetic. There is no situation that you could have been in where I will accept that assessment of yourself.”
“That’s really sweet of you to say, Mae, but honestly, I was. I was with my ex-fiance, biding my time until I could get away because he was a deadbeat who drank all our money away and got physical with me more than once. When Gunner came back, he saw the bruises. He saved me one night when I thought my ex was going to kill me. We got married so that James would leave me alone. And because Gunner is amazing, he claimed Sage as his so that James’s parents wouldn’t be able to take the baby away from me.”
“But the way he is with Sage. And with you. I just can’t wrap my head around it being an act. He’s literally the most truthful guy I know.”
“We kissed just now,” she whispered, looking down at Sage.
Mae sat silent for a minute, but when Lily looked up at her, she finally asked the question Lily had been asking herself a million times since Gunner left the apartment.
“What happened?”
“It was overwhelming. I-in a good way. A great way, really. I’ve loved Gunner since we were kids, but he never felt that way about me. I was just overwhelmed and the tears just started flowing. I think he misunderstood. It wasn’t because I didn’t want the kiss to happen, it was because I was so overwhelmed that it finally had.”
“He didn’t let you explain?”
“I tried, but he just said he understood and left. He told me not to wait up for him.”
“That idiot.” Mae looked down the hallway, as if she was checking to make sure they really were alone. “You’re not the only one with a messed up relationship.”
“What?”
“Want to know my secret?” She didn’t wait for an answer from Lily. “I’m sleeping with Stone. It was just a one time thing that’s kind of morphed into a months-long thing. And I promised him I was okay with keeping it casual because he thinks Hawk will kill him and doesn’t know if he’s really the relationship type, but I think I’m falling for him. I don’t want things to end, but I want to define what we’re doing.”
“Oh, shit.” Lily pulled her friend into a hug. “We are quite the pair, aren’t we?”
“There was a reason I knew we’d be fast friends.” The girls both laughed as they remained in their embrace.
“Fuck off, Hawk.” Gunner knew the minute his friend stepped into the gym and even as he was beating the hell out of the punching bag, he could sense where Hawk moved in the room. Currently, the nosy bastard was creeping up on his right side.
“Can’t man. I just left a beautiful woman crying on my couch. It’s my gentlemanly duty to avenge her tears. And I might have volunteered when I heard who was the reason behind them. It’s really been too long since we sparred together.”
“She’s still crying?” Fuck. Why did that rip at his guts? Why did he care? It was so clear that she hadn’t wanted that kiss to happen. Embarrassment flooded him. How could he be falling for Lily so completely when she wasn’t feeling the same way at all?
“Yeah. And it wasn’t pretty tears. This seemed like world-shattering stuff. What the fuck did you do?”
“I kissed her.”
“Jesus. How bad of a kisser are you to cause that? Did you eat some garlic fries at lunch and forget to brush your teeth? I mean, she’s your wife. She had your kid. It really must have been?—”
“Shut up, Hawk.”
“Is this the part where you tell me what actually is going on between you and Lily?”
Gunner stopped punching the bag and wiped his arm across his forehead to wipe away the sweat. “What do you mean?”
“Unless my understanding of how babies are made and how long they gestate for is wrong, there is no way you are Sage’s dad.”
“I am her dad,” Gunner growled at Hawk. “Don’t ever fucking say that again.”
“Okay. Let me rephrase it. You are her dad, but there is no way you are her biological father. In case you forgot, you and I were together for several months working long ass hours with the FBI. I know for a fact you didn’t go home to Connecticut during that time. So why are you pretending? What are you protecting Lily and Sage from?”
“Her fucking ex. And his fucking family.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. ”
“He hurt her?”
Gunner nodded.
“And you didn’t put him six feet under?”
“I almost did. She called me crying one night, hiding in her bathroom. Fucker was beating on the door with a gun in his hand. Took everything in me to let the cops haul his ass away and not mine for murder. She almost went into labor that fucking night.”
“Jesus. So what? She got a restraining order, and you swooped in to help her?”
“She didn’t get a restraining order on the prick. His parents are influential in our hometown and she was certain it wouldn’t stick. But yes. I convinced her to marry me so she could say I was Sage’s father and I could keep them both safe.”
“So it was just friendship, but you kissed her. You feel more.”
“I thought she did, too. I mean, fuck, the signals she’s sent me since day one screamed she wanted more, but I was worried about crossing the line. And tonight, I just did.”
“Okay. That’s okay.”
“She fucking pulled back, Hawk. Like she didn’t want to hurt me when she rejected me.”
“I’m going to tell you this, Reap. The woman I saw in the hallway was not upset because she rejected you and you handled it badly. She was crying like you had rejected her.”
Fuck.