18. Alar #2
She was quiet for a long moment. The wind stirred across the platform, ruffling my hair and sliding between her scales with a sound like fingers running across harp strings.
"I felt it coming. Your mind has been like a storm. Last night it was worse than ever."
"I wasn't sure it would come to this," I said out loud. "But I suspected it would. I should have told you sooner."
"Yes, but you were shielding me from worry. You are terrible at shielding, Alar. You should leave that to me."
Despite the choking anguish, I smiled. "There's something I need to ask you, and I need you to answer honestly."
"I always answer honestly or not at all. Dragons might not follow the Precepts of Truth, but I prefer it."
"Is it possible to break the bond? To sever it deliberately so that you're free to choose another rider?"
The silence that followed was absolute. Even the wind seemed to stop.
"Why would you ask me that?"
"Because I don't know if I'm coming back. And I don't want you to suffer because of a bond to a rider who is far away. You deserve better than that. You deserve a rider who is here, who can fly with you, who can—"
"Stop."
The word cut through my speech like a blade.
"I will wait for you," she said.
"Vey—"
"I will wait for you." The repetition carried a force that made my bones vibrate.
"The bond is not a convenience to be discarded when circumstances change.
It is not a contract to be renegotiated.
It is the merging of two souls, and my soul does not give up on its other half because of something as trivial as distance. "
"Half a continent is not trivial," I switched back to mental communication.
"To a dragon, it is. The distance between Elucia and Catonia is nothing.
" Her head lowered until we were eye to eye, and I saw my own reflection in those amber depths.
"You are mine, Alar. My first and my only rider.
I chose you knowing who you were and what complications your identity carried.
I did not choose blindly, and I do not regret it. "
"What if the bond deteriorates? We've only been bonded for two weeks. It's barely formed. Lesten said he didn't know what distance would do to it."
"Lesten is not a dragon." She chuffed. "The bond will hold, Alar. It will stretch, and it might weaken to a whisper, but it will hold."
I put my hand on her snout, and the warmth of her scales beneath my palm sent a pulse of connection through the bond that was so strong it made my eyes sting. I felt her certainty, her determination, her refusal to accept that this was an ending rather than an interruption.
"You need to stop thinking of this as goodbye," she said, reading my unguarded thoughts. "This is a pause. A detour. You will return."
"You sound certain. I'm not."
"I am certain, but my certainty alone won't bring you back. You need to take action."
"That's easier said than done when the relations between two nations hang in the balance."
"You have more power than you realize, Alar. You are not a pawn at destiny's mercy. Whatever crisis has called you home, resolve it. Help your father. Prove your worth. And then, when you are in a position of strength rather than obligation, negotiate your return."
"You make it sound so easy. It's not."
She chuffed again. "Nations don't have a beating heart, Alar.
People do. Dragons do. Nations are abstractions.
You cannot bend the will of an abstraction, but you can bend the will of people.
Your father is a person. Convince him. Use that princely training you've been given and convince him that letting you return serves Catonia's interests better than forcing you to stay. "
I was surprised by the sophistication of her advice. She was barely an adolescent in dragon terms, bonded for less than two weeks, and she was giving me political counsel that would have impressed my father's senior advisors.
"How are you this wise?" I asked out loud. "You're so young."
She drew herself up to her full height, which was considerable, her scales catching the first hints of dawn and fragmenting them into pale prisms of color.
"I'm not just a pretty dragonia with exceptional coloring," she said. "I know things."
"I know you do. And I know you are smart in addition to being strikingly beautiful, but what you've told me speaks of political acumen and experience that you don't have."
She preened at my compliments, then lowered her head again to my level.
"There is a reason I chose you, Alar, and it's not your good looks or your exceptional manners.
I chose you because you are a prince, and I knew we would have a lot in common.
It's important in a relationship, you know. To have things in common."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
She tilted her massive head. "Don't you think that having things in common is important for a good relationship?"
"I do, but what are those things?"
"I am a princess, just like you are a prince. I'm Nyxath's daughter."
The words took a moment to register. When they did, I felt the ground shift beneath my feet.
"You are Nyxath's daughter," I repeated. "The queen of dragons is your mother."
"She is."
"You're dragon royalty."
"If you want to use that term, yes."
The puzzle pieces started to fall into place. Veynathei's uncommon size, for a dragonia, the unusual shifting quality of her scales. The wisdom that exceeded her apparent age.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"Why didn't you tell Kailin that you were a prince when you first met her?" she countered.
The parallel silenced me.
"I wanted you to choose me for who I am," she said.
"Not for my lineage. I wanted you to love me as Veynathei, not as the queen's daughter.
My mother's shadow is vast, and I strive to break free from it.
I saw in you someone who would see me because you would understand the weight of expectation that comes with a royal bloodline. "
"I wanted the same thing from Kailin," I said. "I wanted her to love Alar, not Prince Alaranthus."
"We understand each other."
I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against her snout. Her scales were warm and smooth, and the bond between us pulsed with a shared understanding that went beyond words, and beyond thought. It was an affinity, like recognizing like.
"I'll come back to you," I said out loud. "And to Kailin. I'm not going to give up no matter what."
"I know you'll be back. Our story is not over."
"I don't know how long it will take."
"It will take as long as it takes. I am a dragon. Patience is not my favorite virtue, but I do live forever, so there is that. And if you also want to live forever, you need to be near me and not across half the continent."