Chapter 5
Five
S loane tapped her pen against her notepad as she neared the end of her session with the last client of the day. A single dad, going through a messy divorce with his soon to be ex-wife. Sloane’s heart went out to him. But somewhere in David’s recent sessions, her client had started to grow more upset. She was trying her best to give him some tools to help with emotional regulation and goal setting, but he seemed almost unreachable during their latest session.
She looked over her shoulder at her desk, where her cell phone was in plain view. It would take her a few seconds to get to it if she needed help. Without warning, he stood, pacing the space between his chair and hers.
“David, I need you to take a breath for me. This agitated state you’re in is escalating, and I’m going to have to end our session here if you cannot sit and remain calm.”
“Am I scaring you, Dr. Sloane? Am I a monster like she said?” David took three steps forward, his hand snapping forward to grab her wrist, squeezing painfully. Her heart slammed in her chest.
“You are not a monster, David. We’ve talked about Lucy’s truth and we’re working on what you can take away from your relationship with her, but right now, you need to let go of my arm.”
Sloane dropped her eyes to her wrist, forcing her brain to focus on her patient and not the invisible thousand-pound weight pressing against her lungs. She slammed her wrist downward, attempting to break the hold he hand on her, but only succeeding in pushing the armchair back. The sound must have been loud enough for Lily to hear, because the next thing Sloane knew, her friend was charging into the room.
“What is going on in here? Sloane, do I need to call for help?”
Lily’s voice seemed to snap David out of his rage. He dropped her arm like it had burned him.
“Oh god. Dr. Donovan, I’m so sorry.”
“I need you to take two steps back from me. Right now.”
Her client nodded as he backed up to the edge of the room. “We’re going to end our session here. I’ll be documenting this in your file, and it will be available to your next therapist, should you choose to seek counseling elsewhere. You and I are no longer going to be able to work together.”
“I completely understand. I’m so sorry.”
Sloane nodded. “Take one of those papers off the table in the waiting room. It has a list of other counselors, farther away in Rogersville, or Dallas, that I’ve worked with before and recommend. Contact the emergency line at the top if you feel you need immediate help.”
“I will.”
“Goodbye.”
He nodded again, walking towards Lily who was blocking the exit. She took two steps towards Sloane, her hand held over her heart.
The women waited in silence until the door clicked behind him.
Lily ran into the waiting area and Sloane watched as she clicked over the lock. Marching back into the office, Lily rushed over to Sloane and gingerly inspected her arm.
“Oh my god, are you okay? That was so scary!”
“It’s not the first time I’ve had a patient become physical.”
“Sloane, what?!”
“It’s just been a while. During my practicum. Not since I’ve had my practice in Silver Springs. Thank you for coming in here.”
“We’re a badass team, remember? I know you can handle yourself if you really need to, but I wanted to diffuse the situation if I could.”
Her eyes finally met Lily’s. “Are you okay? Your hands are shaking.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Lily let go of Sloane’s arm, running her hands down her shirt. “But I think I might need to go over to see Gunner and Sage. I was going to take off right after this session to finish up all the last minute stuff for the race this weekend. You don’t mind, do you? I’ll lock the door behind myself.”
“He was the last client of the day. There’s no reason you have to stay longer. Give Sage a kiss for me.”
“Do you want me to send over one of the guys? Or, I can come back with Gunner and stay here until you are ready to leave?”
“No, you don’t have to do that. I’m going to document what happened and then I’m going to go home and take a hot shower, complete with a shower beer.”
“A shower beer?”
“You’ve never done that?”
“No! I’m usually too preoccupied in the shower to enjoy something like that, though.” Lily’s cheeks turned red and Sloane smiled.
“Didn’t need to know that about your relationship.”
“Sorry,” she giggled. “Okay, just call me if you change your mind. We’ll probably be up in the apartment and I can at least send Gunner down to make sure you get to your car safe and sound when you want to leave.”
“I’ll let you know.”
“See you tomorrow?”
“Absolutely.”
* * *
“No, no. You can’t have a sip of Uncle Gage’s coffee. Your mom would shoot me!” Gage laughed as he set his coffee cup back on the counter, shifting Sage from one arm to the other. She had turned into a wiggly beast, never wanting to sit still since she first crawled. But now, it looked like her first steps might be coming and they’d have a whole new little hellion on their hands when that happened.
“We’re going to need to baby proof this place for her soon,” Nash said as he walked in. “Hey there, princess. Are you sick of Uncle Gage? Want to come see me?”
Sage promptly face-planted against Gage’s chest. “Guess not, Wings.”
“I kind of hate that I’m not her favorite uncle.”
“There’s always the next kid. I have a feeling Lily and Gunner will have so many, we all get a chance at being the favorite of at least one of their offspring.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh,” Nash walked over to the cupboard and grabbed a mug from the top shelf. “I need you to look at the coding for the scenario I’m working on for The Trident this week. There’s some sort of glitch with the lighting cues in the training package, and I can’t figure it out.”
“Fuck,” Gage’s eyes went wide as he pushed his hand gently across Sage’s back. “Shit. Don’t tell Mommy and Daddy I just said that in front of you.”
“Why the fuck are you crying?” Gunner’s voice boomed across the open lobby and into the kitchen.
“Shit. Should we go out there and see what that’s about?” Nash grimaced.
“Take Sage back to your office and send me an email with the scenario issues. I’ll see what’s going on.”
Gage handed over a reluctant Sage to Nash and walked past a wide-eyed Mae at the reception desk. Gunner was hugging Lily, who was in fact crying. Shit, had something happened at work? Lily was Sloane’s receptionist, and suddenly, the image of Sloane hurt and alone was all that would play in his mind.
“Lily, you okay?” he asked.
“Oh, yeah,” she sniffled. “Our last client kind of lost it on Sloane. It was scary.”
“Lost it how?” He took another step closer to Lily. “Is Sloane okay? She’s all alone over there now, isn’t she?”
“I asked her if she wanted me to send someone over from here to be with her, but you know how she is. I’m sure she’s just more comfortable having a minute to herself.”
“Fuck that,” Gage growled, turning to push through the doors. He stumbled out onto the sidewalk, breathing heavily as he tried to prepare himself for what he was about to walk in on. Lily was probably right. Sloane would want to process whatever the hell had happened on her own, but Gage had to see that she was okay.
It took fifteen seconds to walk out of Montgomery Defense, down the sidewalk, and make it to Sloane’s door. His hand reached out, only to find the door locked. Fuck.
“Sloane? It’s Gage. Can you come to the door?” Gage asked as he knocked over and over again on the glass. The second she stepped into view, his chest released the knot that had been crushing him.
“What are you doing here? Are you okay?” she asked as she opened the door for him. He took two steps inside and turned around, watching as she shut the door behind him.
“Am I okay? Want to tell me why Lily just walked into the gym with tears in her eyes?”
“She just left here and seemed fine.” She wasn’t fucking relocking the door.
“Can you lock that?” he demanded. Her vibrant brown eyes went wide, but she nodded and reached over to engage the lock. “She mentioned something happened with one of your clients.”
“Gage, you know I can’t talk about any of that?—”
“What the fuck is that?” Gage’s growl had her stumbling backwards.
“What?”
“Those marks on your arm. Did someone grab you?”
“That’s nothing. My client was just having a hard time. That’s all.”
“And they put their hands on you?”
“Well, yes. But I’ve dismissed them from the practice and they were very apologetic.”
“I want their name.” Thank fuck he had his notebook in his back pocket. “I want their name and I’m running a background check on them.”
“Well, I’m very sorry to tell you this, but I’m not giving you their name.”
“Sloane. I do not want to hear about patient confidentiality. They put their hands on you. They hurt you. I need to know.”
“You can try all you want but?—”
“Red! This isn’t about your ethics. Everyone knows you put your patients above everything else. But it’s for your safety. And since they are no longer your client… don’t even try to deny that you just shared that with me… then you can give me their name so I can run a check on them.”
“Fine. David Busche.” She huffed, crossing her arms and jutting out her hip to show just how irritated she was with his pushing.
“Do I need to call a deputy over here to get an order of protection?”
“No! Absolutely not. I’m finishing up my notes and then I’m going home. I just want to wash this day off and go to bed.”
He nodded. “Fine, but promise me that if that guy comes back around, you’ll call me immediately.”
“I’m really trying hard not to roll my eyes right now.”
“Your safety matters to me, Sloane. You matter to me.”
“I, uh, okay. I’ll call you if he comes back.”
“Good. Now go get your stuff. I’ll walk you to your car.”
Gage walked around the reception area, peeking into the small room Sloane had set up as a nursery for when Lily brought Sage to work with her. Having Sage in the office was special to him. He hadn’t been able to do something like that with his own son.
“I’m ready,” Sloane said as she cleared her throat behind him.
“Sorry. Got lost in thought.”
He watched as her features changed from curiosity to compassion. He didn’t keep his loss a secret, and he was sure everyone in Silver Springs knew about his family, but it wasn’t something that came up all the time.
“I understand.”
“The room has really changed lately.”
She laughed. “Yeah. Sage is good at getting into things. Lily and I spent time a few weekends ago moving it all around and making things more toddler friendly. I can’t believe she’s going to be one so soon.”
“Me either.” Gage shook his head as he turned, his hand hovering over the small of Sloane’s back as they made their way out of the office. He’d never been one to think about small touches like that before meeting her. Now, he tried to always be aware.
“So, you’ll be at the race on Saturday, right?”
“Unfortunately,” she groaned, pulling a laugh out of him.
“It’s for a good cause.”
“Of course it is. I would just rather donate my money and not have to run. But Lily’s so excited about it, I don’t want to let her down.”
“I know how you feel. Gunner basically threatened us all about being there, with smiles on, to support her. Can you imagine Gunner talking about smiling? I swear, Lily has rewired his brain in the weirdest ways.”
“She’s good for him. I think?—”
“Dr. Donovan?”
Gage watched her back stiffen as a man near Sloane’s car started walking towards them.
“David, you need to leave.”
Well, fuck. “This is the guy? He put his fucking hands on you?”
Yeah, Gage wanted the asshole to hear his possessive tone. And from the look of shock in his eyes, he had. Now, Gage waited to see whether the guy would just walk away, or if he was ready to double down and do something even more stupid than waiting for a woman to walk into a parking lot alone to confront her.
“Give me one second.” Sloane went to take a step away from him, but Gage was faster.
“Absolutely not, Red.” He stepped out around her, sliding her in safely behind his back. Gage squared his shoulders and held out his hand to stop the man’s approach.
“Let me get this straight. You put your hands on the good doc here today and then you waited around for her to leave the office, standing by her car to corner her, for what purpose?”
“I-I just… shit, I know how this looks. I just really respect Sloane and needed to apologize. I never meant to hurt her.”
“But you did. She’s made it clear you’re not welcome at this practice.”
His head dipped down. “She did.”
“Okay. Then this is where you leave. And if I ever see you near here, or trying to interact with Dr. Donovan again, I will call the police and press charges for harassment, after I put you on your ass.”
The man stood staring at him. “This is the part where you leave, David .” The asshole had the nerve to look apologetic and stunned at the same time.
“Right. I am really sorry.”
Gage slid his hand around Sloane’s back, keeping her tucked into his side that was farther away from the creep, and walked her to her car. He didn’t miss the way her body jolted at his touch. Gage couldn’t just let her be so vulnerable to someone else. It was safer to keep her tucked into him, and he’d apologize later.
“You didn’t have to be so forceful with him,” she said as they stopped at her car.
“Guys like that won’t take a subtle hint, Sloane. You already tried that when you told him to leave your office the first time. And I was serious when I said I’ll press charges against him. What I didn’t say is that I’ll gladly choke him out if he even comes within fifty yards of you again.”
“Gage!”
“Won’t apologize for protecting you, Red.” His hand slid down to the handle and pulled, opening the driver side door for her. “How about I follow you home to make sure you get there safe and sound?”
“No. I’m fine.” She sighed. “Thank you for…” her hand waved in front of her. “All of that.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll make sure the other guys know to keep an eye out for him.”
“I appreciate it.” Sloane slid into the driver’s seat, her arms falling limp at her side.
“Sloane? You okay?”
He watched her take a deep breath, nodding as she started her car. She reached out to shut her door, but she must have realized he was still standing in the way of it closing. Gage took two steps back, his hand resting on the door.
“Have a good night,” he said as he closed her in.
* * *
“What’s got you in such a bad mood tonight?” Stone asked as he handed Gage a beer. They’d been watching the first period of a hockey game, but Gage couldn’t focus. He’d given up five minutes in, pulling out his phone to start doing some digging on Sloane’s patient. He’d felt Stone’s eyes on him from time to time, but his buddy must have finally gotten fed up with him.
“Sorry, man. I’ve just got a lot on my mind. Some guy put his hands on Sloane today. Then stayed around in the parking lot waiting for her to walk to her car.”
Stone pulled the bottle away from his mouth. “What the fuck? Is she okay?”
“Seems like it. She was more pissed that I made her tell me the guy's name so I could look into him and make sure his information was in our system. Figure we can flag him and just make sure he doesn’t come back around the building.”
“Christ. Sloane is so goddamn skittish, I’m surprised she wasn’t panicking.”
“I think she was putting on a brave face for me.”
“Probably.”
“Look, I appreciate you inviting me over, but I’m not going to be able to focus until I look more into this guy. And I should probably check on Cookie, too. She was acting a little off when I got home.”
“Yeah, of course. Let me know if you need any help with the Sloane stuff.”
Gage smiled at Stone. “What about with Cookie?” He knew his friend had an irrational fear of dogs, and couldn’t help but laugh when he shook his head.
“No way, man. You’re all on your own there. I mean, call me or shoot me a message if you need some emotional support, but you know I won’t be coming to visit until she’s gone.”
“I get it. A ten pound, geriatric white fluff ball is really scary.” Gage grabbed his beer off the coffee table and laughed.
Stone stood, plucking the half-full bottle out of his hand. “And for that comment, you can leave the beer here.”
Gage was still laughing when he made his way across the hall back to his apartment. He looked over at the small bed on the floor where Cookie was curled up. God, he had such a soft spot for her.
Dropping down to his knees, Gage gently scratched behind her ear. “Hey, old girl. You just having a sleepy night tonight? Didn’t even want to get up and give me some kisses when I came through the door?”
She was in exactly the same spot he’d left her in when he’d gone across the hall. Her dinner wasn’t touched, and her water bowl level hadn’t changed. The signs were all there over the last few days, and he knew what it meant, even if he didn’t want to admit it. She was ready to go. It didn’t make his decision any easier. He’d sit with her for a few minutes and then call the vet in Rogersville.
Gage gently picked Cookie up, cradling her over his heart. She felt relaxed, her body cuddling close to him. Her eyes were open, but she just gazed up at the ceiling, a small whimper coming from her as he moved his hand out from under her belly to gently rub her back.
“Shh, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
Gage walked to the living room, almost making it to the couch when a knock sounded at his door. For half a second he thought Stone might have come over to apologize for his anti-Cookie behavior, but when he opened the door, it wasn’t his buddy standing before him.
No. It was the brown eyed redhead who had left him in a huff earlier, standing there in an oversized shirt and yoga pants, with what looked like an entire batch of homemade cookies. His mouth watered, and not just because of the baked goods.
“Hi,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I realize it’s getting late and I shouldn’t have just dropped by, but I wanted to say sorry for how I acted earlier.”
“You baked for me?”
Her eyes dropped down to the plate. “Uh, no. I wouldn’t want you to get food poisoning. I fear there are really only two or three things I can cook that we wouldn’t have to worry about, and triple chocolate cookies with chopped macadamia nuts are not it. These are from Sprinkles. Emma told me they are your favorite.”
He stared as she handed the plate over the threshold. But with Cookie in his arms, he couldn’t take it from her.
“Right. God. This is so terribly awkward. I’m sorry,” she laughed. “You’re holding Cookie. I can just set these inside and be on my way.”
He stepped back, and she shot past him, her hair billowing over her shoulders, leaving the scent of lilacs in her wake. Shit. She smelled incredible.
“Thank you for going all the way to Bell Ridge, but that wasn’t necessary. There was nothing to apologize for.”
Sloane turned back to face him. “That’s not true, and we both know it. You stepped in to protect me from a situation that could have escalated to a dangerous level. Do I think that would have happened? No. But you believed that it could have, and you chose to protect me. That means a lot.”
Cookie whimpered, lifting her head and then flopping it back down on Gage’s chest.
“I should go. You were probably just getting ready to turn in with her.” Sloane reached over to pet Cookie on her neck. “Hi, beautiful girl. You be good to Gage tonight. He’s my knight in shining armor.”
“I’ve known it was coming all week, but I think tonight might be the night, Sloane.” Gage’s voice caught in his throat as he looked down at the little dog.
“Oh,” she whispered. “I could…” He watched as she looked around his apartment, her eyes lingering on the darkening sky outside his window. “If you don't want to be alone while it happens, I could stay for a bit.”
He nodded. “I was about to call Ellie to let her know. And then I’ll need to call the vet in Rogersville. Dr. LeMott doesn’t do the procedure at home, and… I don’t like the idea of them being scared when they go.”
“What a kind thing to think about.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know how long it will take them to get here, though. It might be a while.”
“That’s okay. I’ll take whatever time I can get with Cookie before it’s her time to find the Rainbow Bridge.”
Gage shifted Cookie into Sloane’s arms and left them in his living room as he walked to his office to make the phone calls. Ellie had trusted him with two other dogs near the end of their lives in the time since he’d gotten to Silver Springs. It was an honor to be with them when they passed. His soul felt it was just one way he could atone for not being with his family when they needed him most.
After ten minutes, and a sad call to both Ellie and Dr. Daniels, the veterinarian in Rogersville who had helped him with the other dogs when it was their time, Gage made his way back out to Cookie and Sloane.
She was sitting with the small dog cradled in her arms, gently rocking back and forth as Cookie snuggled into the bright pink blanket he’d gotten for her the first night she was with him. He sat on the sofa, his leg brushing against Sloane’s as he leaned in to give the little dog who’d stolen his heart so quickly a few pats.
“Is the vet coming?” she asked.
“Yeah. She’ll be here sometime in the next hour,” Gage answered. “Do you want something to drink? I should have thought about it before now, but?—”
“Your mind is on this sweet girl,” she finished his sentence.
“It is.”
“I’m okay right now. Would you like to hold her again?”
Gage shook his head. “I’ll hold her later. When it’s time.”
They sat in comfortable silence, whispering sweet sentiments to Cookie and giving her plenty of pats and cuddles until the veterinarian showed up fifty minutes later. Gage felt his emotions weighing heavy in his chest as he watched her get ready for the procedure. Sloane placed Cookie on the ground so she could get one final check over.
“Alright. I’m ready to administer the medicine whenever you are. Would one of you like to be holding her when she passes?”
“Yes.” Gage cleared his throat. “I would like to be holding her if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is.”
Dr. Daniels waited for Gage to sit on the floor and scoop Cookie up onto his lap. Sloane reached over, placing her hand on the little dog’s back.
“You’re such a good girl, Cookie. You mean so much to us,” Gage heard her whisper as she pressed a kiss to Cookie’s ear. Her hand came up to rub Cookie’s paw while Gage watched the medicine be administered.
“This medication is just to make sure she doesn’t feel any pain. In about sixty seconds, I’ll administer the second medication to stop her heart.”
“Look for a little boy named Mikey when you get to the other side, okay? He’s really good at giving big hugs. I know he’ll give you all the treats you could ever want, and play tug of war with you until you both need a nap. You’ll know he’s my son because we have the same eyes,” Gage whispered before kissing Cookie’s soft fur. Much to his surprise, she opened her eyes and focused on his face, as if she was memorizing the way his eyes looked. Her eyelids drooped after only a few seconds, and Gage watched as her little body went lax in his arms. “He’ll be waiting at the bridge for me one day, Cookie. I’d love to see you there with him when it’s my time to cross over.”
“Sweet dreams, Cookie.” Sloane said as she wiped a tear off her cheek. “You are so loved. We’ll see you again one day.”
* * *
The moment she’d heard Gage whisper about his son, her heart had broken wide open. What happened to his wife and son wasn’t a secret, but he guarded the memories of them so fiercely that she could only recall him bringing them up one or two other times.
Sloane knew Cookie wasn’t the first dog he’d taken home in their last few days of life, but to know he loved them so deeply in those last moments, that he shared something so profoundly sacred to him with them as they left this life, it cracked the walls she’d built up around her heart.
Sloane wiped at the tears now falling down her face as Cookie took her last breath. The vet let them sit with her for a few moments while she put her equipment back in her bag.
“Are you alright if I take her now? I promise to handle her with the utmost dignity.”
“Of course,” Gage said as he handed Cookie, still wrapped up in her bright pink blanket, over to Dr. Daniels. “When will I be able to pick up her urn?”
“It’ll be four to six days, but one of the vet techs from my clinic will call as soon as she’s ready to be picked up.”
“Thank you again, for everything. We appreciate you coming out tonight.” Gage stood and walked Dr. Daniels to the door. Sloane took that as her sign to get up and follow. She hadn’t meant to be out so late, and it was well past sunset. A shiver ran down her spine. She hated the dark.
“Thank you for staying.” Gage’s voice so close to her made her jump. “You okay?”
“I got lost in my thoughts there for a minute. Sorry.”
“I really mean it, Sloane. It was nice having someone here with me this time.”
Sloane studied his face. The way his eyes held such compassion. The red rimmed edges and the way the tip of his nose was the same color from holding back his emotions. It clearly affected him deeply.
“Why do you do it? I mean, it’s a beautifully kind and compassionate thing to do. To be with them in their final days. To give them love and comfort. But it’s so emotionally taxing.”
“It’s penance, Sloane.”