Chapter 17
Seventeen
T hey’d fallen into a comfortable routine over the last few weeks. Sloane didn’t seem to mind seeing her clients through her computer, and when she wasn’t busy taking over the office in his apartment, she was downstairs, training with him or one of the guys.
They never left her alone when she was outside of the apartment, even if it was just inside Montgomery Defense. No one was taking any chances. He knew it was taking a toll on Sloane, but she was putting on a brave face like she always did.
Looking at his watch, Gage chuckled as he took a final sip of coffee. Sloane had slept in that morning, and it had nearly killed him to get out of bed and leave her.
He truly didn’t think a relationship would ever feel right again after Melody. But Sloane slipped so easily into place in his heart. Like a puzzle piece he hadn’t even known was out there blowing around in the wind finally came back home.
Gage walked to the edge of the bed, chuckling at the sight before him.
“Alright. Up outta bed, lazy bones.”
“Too warm. Come back later,” Sloane grumbled, the only part of her that he could see was her red hair splayed out across the pillow.
“I know for a fact you don’t have any clients today, so we’re celebrating ‘Bring Your Girlfriend to Work’ Day.”
Her eyes popped out from under the covers. “We are?”
“Mhm.”
“Clark.” He held back his laughter at the nickname. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t really want to go downstairs. I mean, no offense, the gym and your offices are nice, but I’ll be bored out of my mind. I guess I could bring my laptop with me, but I’d honestly rather sit on the couch and rot in front of the TV for the day. Besides, I could go spend some time with Lily and Sage.”
“Nope, you can’t. Gunner is taking them over to Bell Ridge to see Cap and Emma. But don’t worry. We aren’t going down to the office.”
She sat up in bed, the comforter falling around her waist as a huge smile spread across her face. “Oh my god! Am I finally going to get to see The Trident?”
Gage nodded, unable to hide his own smile at her excitement.
“Are you going to let me shoot a gun?”
“Do you mean, am I going to teach you how to be safe when handling a firearm?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe.”
She rolled her eyes. “Hawk was more than happy to offer lessons when I sparred with him yesterday.”
“I know, Red. Why do you think I’m taking you myself, today?”
“Is this a ‘no one teaches my woman’ or more of a ‘no one shoots my gun’ type of situation?”
“Neither. I’m a better shot than Hawk is, and he knows it. Makes sense that I’m the one to teach you. But I do love hearing you call yourself ‘my woman’.”
“I like saying it.” The blanket fell away from her as she reached up to stretch her arms above her head. Gage tried not to groan when the smallest sliver of skin on her belly peeked through as her shirt lifted, but failed. With the way her face turned the most delicious shade of strawberry red at the sound, he wasn’t too mad at himself.
* * *
“This floor is where we run all of our drills and simulations.”
Sloane had a hard time not letting her jaw fall open. The training facility was incredible. She’d heard the guys talking about it from time to time, but it was a whole different thing to experience it in person.
“So, you make up scenarios to run the teams through that come here? Like robberies or hostage situations?”
“That’s exactly what we do. There’s basically a catalog of scenarios that I’ve already programmed all the lights and sounds to. The organizations that come here to train can either pick something standard from that catalog, or we’ll work with their training personnel to design scenarios and simulations that they specifically want to run through.”
“So, if Dallas SWAT wants to practice breaching a residence with an armed individual inside?”
“Right. We have a scenario for that. And if you look over there,” Gage pointed across the open floor. “That’s the door we would have them practice breaching. We have several ways to enter that room, and we can also barricade the doors a bunch of different ways to make it more challenging. We can even change the visibility out here on the main floor or inside the room with smoke machines and different lighting setups.”
“This is incredible. Where’s the gun range? Is there a level below us right now?”
“Should I be worried at how excited you are to practice?” he teased.
“No. But I am looking forward to knowing I have options to protect myself.”
“You do have options. And I want you to know how to use all of them, even if I never plan to let you out of my sight when we aren’t at home.”
“So was I right?”
“Yes. It’s downstairs.”
She nodded, looking around the complex. “What are all the cameras for?”
Gage laughed. “You’re full of questions, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know why I feel like a kid on Christmas. It’s not every day you get invited to see something like this.”
“So, it’s better than a day on the couch?”
“Definitely. Now, what are the cameras for?”
Gage slipped his hand over hers. They walked into a space that was clearly set up as a classroom, with long tables and chairs set to face the front of the room. She watched as he clicked over a few switches, typed something into a keyboard and then lowered a screen on the far wall. Several camera angles on the training floor projected up onto the screen.
“Oh, this is incredible! So, while you have a team on the floor, immersed in the exercise, you can have another one in here, getting to watch and dissect their decisions. Or have them come in and critique their actions once the simulation is complete?”
“Exactly. Red, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were hiding some law enforcement training in your background.” He laughed, but her face fell at his words.
“Kimi taught me a lot, after everything. She’s where my training began.”
“I should have known even in the face of all of that, you’d be an incredible student.”
She smiled. “So, who controls the cameras?”
“Right now? Stone. He’s up in the control room. Come on. We’ll go see him after we stop in the inventory room.”
“Oh, is that where we’re getting our guns from?”
“Easy, tiger.”
* * *
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” The worry in Gage’s eyes was sweet, but Sloane was so excited she couldn’t help but bounce on her toes.
“Up for sparring with Stone down in the arena? Where I get to run around and actually practice something other than a right hook standing still? Gage, I am so ready for this.”
He turned to Stone, who was laughing as he slipped his training mitt on. “You watch over her? Got it?”
“Clark! I don’t want him to take it easy on me. I want to prove that I’m capable of protecting myself and find any weaknesses that we need to strengthen.”
Stone’s eyebrow quirked up. “What the hell did you just call him?”
“Clark. Like?—”
“Red.” Gage growled. “That nickname is only for you and me.”
“Interesting.” Stone laughed.
“Well, that’s not fair,” she stuck her bottom lip out playfully. “You get to call me ‘Red’ around everyone else.”
“Oh, you can call me ‘Clark’ around them as much as you want. I just want the meaning to stay between us.”
She couldn’t help but fold when he flashed his dimples and pulled her in to kiss the tip of her nose.
“Alright. I’ll be a good girl and keep it between us. But I won’t back down from kicking Stone’s butt in the arena.”
“Yeah, Track. Would you listen to your girlfriend and stop making her seem weak? She kicked my ass last time in the ring. I have no doubt I’ll be having my ass handed to me again today.” Stone lifted his hand into the air and smiled at Sloane. She laughed as she slapped her own hand against his, giving him a high five that had Gage scowling.
“You know that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want anything to?—”
“Nothing is going to happen. You work up here fixing that code like the computer genius that you are and I’m going to kick Stone’s butt around this multi-million dollar complex. Then we can all get lunch.”
“This is why I know you don’t have to worry about her.”
“Whatever,” he mumbled. Sloane placed her gloved hands around his chest and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“I wouldn’t mind if you kept the cameras up and watched me. Might be fun to reenact some of the moves tonight.” Both men’s eyebrows flew into their hairlines as she laughed, walking out of the room.
Half an hour on the floor training with Stone and she wasn’t laughing any more. Sparring in the arena was completely different from sparring in the ring at Montgomery Defense. Hell, it was a million miles away from anything she’d done in self-defense class. And although she could see how beneficial it was, she wasn’t enjoying realizing just how much more she needed to be practicing.
“You good?” Stone asked, taking a swipe at her. She’d completely let her arm drift down, failing to block the move which ended with her taking a not so gentle tap to her noggin.
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Sloane. I didn’t mean to land that.”
She shook her head. Most of the blow had landed against the protective gear she was wearing, so it wasn’t as awful as it could have been.
“That was all on me,” she panted. “I shouldn’t have let my guard down.”
“You know Tracker is going to kick my ass for that.”
“I’ll distract him when we get back up there.” There wasn’t much she could do, but she did turn to the nearest camera she’d spotted and smiled. Hopefully that would be enough to stop Gage from storming down there and interrupting their training if he’d been watching. “Can we try for a takedown this time?”
“Are you sure you’re up for that?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m going to wipe the floor with you, but on the off-chance you take me down, I’ll be able to practice getting out of your hold.”
“What’s your safe word if it gets to be too much?”
Sloane rolled her eyes. “Red.”
“Right. Shouldn’t be hard for you to remember.” God, she was glad Stone was smirking at her. It made her want to see him fall on his ass even more. “Let’s go.”
Sloane grounded her stance, waiting for Stone to lunge towards her. As soon as she saw his first foot leave the ground, she dropped into a crouch, sweeping her right leg out so it made contact with Stone’s left knee. He went down with a hard thud, but the smile on his face was almost as loud as his laughter.
The lights changed the color of the room to an eerie green, smoke filling in the edges of the room.
“Shit.” Stone grumbled, looking behind Sloane.
“What?”
“Gage’s scenario has smoke as part of the setup, but I don’t think he meant for it to go off while we were down here training.”
“Is it part of the code that’s glitching?”
“Wasn’t before.” Stone shrugged as he got to his feet. “But I’m an absolute idiot when it comes to that stuff. Give me a gunshot wound or a broken bone, I’m your guy. Broken code? I have no idea…”
“I guess this is probably a sign we should call it on the training for today.”
“Yep. That was a good tactic, by the way. My knee is going to be throbbing for the rest of the week.”
“Sorry. I’ve been wanting to try it for a while, but Gunner and Hawk haven’t fallen for it yet.”
“What about Nash?”
“Can’t hurt our resident Grandpa. I’d never forgive myself.”
Stone paused, staring at Sloane for a second before he burst out laughing. “I hope you know I’m telling him you said that.”
“I kind of hope you do. He’s like Gage. He holds back in our sessions because he doesn’t want to hurt me.”
“None of us want to hurt you, Sloane. Not after what you’ve been through.”
“I know that, but I need practice. You’re not hurting me.” Sloane bent over and grabbed her water bottle, standing back upright before popping the top open to take a sip. “You’re making me stronger. You’re helping me get through?—”
The arena went dark.
For a split second, Sloane thought she blacked out. It sometimes happened when she stood up too fast and her blood pressure didn’t have a chance to keep up with the movement. But her heart wasn’t racing, and her rapid breathing wasn’t muffled like her hearing would be if she was about to faint.
“No, no, no, no,” she whispered. She could feel it. The second her mind switched back into the memory. The instant she was back there. In the cold. Alone. Disoriented.
“Why the fuck aren’t the emergency lights kicking on?” Stone grumbled from somewhere next to her.
Stone was there.
Because she wasn’t actually in the cave, was she?
That was before…
Her eyes blinked rapidly, begging the lights to turn back on. A wave of dizziness hit her hard, the air stuck in her unmoving lungs.
The next thing she knew, a hand reached out and wrapped around her arm. Everything in her mind went blank except for the drive to survive. She needed to get away. She couldn’t let him take her again.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Her leg kicked out in the direction she thought he was standing in. She landed a blow against something and yanked her arm away while he was distracted.
“Shit. Sloane? It’s okay. You’re safe. Remember, we’re at The Trident? We were sparring and the lights just went out.”
She stepped back, tripping over something. Her shackle . It was wrapped around her ankle, holding her in place. Trapping her. The darkness was disorienting, if she could just get a little light, she could run.
“No, no. Don’t touch me, please don’t touch me. You can’t… I can’t be here. I can’t be back here again.”
“Okay. I won’t touch you. But I need you to slow down your breathing. You’re hyperventilating. Can you sit down?”
“N-no.”
“Can I help you? I’ll have to touch your arm again.”
She shook her head, even though it was a useless gesture in the dark. “Can’t. Can’t move.” She bent forward, trying to get air into her lungs. Tears were streaming down her face but her mind wouldn’t break free enough to let her wipe them away.
“You’re going to hurt yourself. I’m so sorry, Sloane, but down you go.”
“NOOOO!” She screamed, her throat burning with terror.
“STONE!! Where the hell are you guys?”
Gage’s panicked roar pulled something loose in her chest. A light bounced out in front of a shadowed figure. Shit, she tried to blink, but her vision was blurry.
They dropped to their knees in front of her. “Hey, Red. You’re okay. You’re okay.”
The fog was still so thick in her mind. “No, please,” she whimpered. “Please don’t touch me. Don’t hurt me. Please.”
“It’s Gage, baby. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not. I’ll keep you safe. I promise. Can you look in my eyes? You are so fucking brave, Sloane. Look up and see that it’s me. Look up and see that you’re safe.”
She shook her head. “The darkness…”
“I know. I’m so sorry, Sloane. Here.” He pressed something into her hand. The flashlight. “You control the light. Okay? Is that better?”
She kept her eyes glued to Gage’s face as her shoulders relaxed and her breathing evened out. “I hate the dark,” she whispered.
“I know you do, sweetheart. I know. I’m so sorry. I’m going to touch you now, is that okay?”
She shook her head, hating the disappointment that flashed across his face before he hid it away behind a smile. “Okay. We can just sit here until you’re ready.”
“No. I, yes… I mean,” she forced herself to take a breath. “Could you give me a hug?”
“You don’t have to ask twice.” Gage gathered her in his arms, twisting so his ass hit the floor while she rested on his lap.
“God, that was so scary.” She nuzzled her face closer to his neck, breathing in that sandalwood scent she was starting to associate with comfort and safety. “I hate how my mind works.”
“What do you mean?”
“I hate that it forces me to hide. To break down. I’m stronger than that. I train so hard to be able to protect myself and no matter what I do, the part of my brain that is still so fearful and damaged just takes over. There’s no rationalizing with it. I literally can be screaming in my head for my body to do something and it just won’t. That’s how it was when Lily and I were in that cabin together. I was so strong. I was able to push through. But the minute he climbed on top of me… I just froze. I wasn’t going to fight him.”
“You know trauma is like that. One day, you’re laughing. Next, you’re trapped in your mind, reliving the worst days of your life. But you do the bravest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do, Red.”
“What’s that?”
“You keep going.”
Her arms reached around Gage and squeezed. “I know someone else who did that. And I’m so grateful that he did,” she whispered.
A kiss pressed into her hair before she started to stand.
“You okay?” Stone asked as she stepped towards him.
“I am. I’m sorry about that.”
“You don’t ever need to apologize.”
“Doc’s right,” Gage agreed. “We understand. And if anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I fucked the command code up and sent this place into an electrical outage simulation when I meant to cause a fire hazard.”
Sloan smiled. “This place is wild. I think I might be done here for today, but I’d love to come back one day and watch a team run through a simulation.”
“Oh,” Stone laughed. “You should come when we run evasion drills. I hold the record.”
“For takedowns?” Sloane asked, watching as a smirk made its way across Stone’s face.
“Nope. For evasions. I’m the only one to ever successfully evade another member of the team. You should have seen Hawk’s face when he realized I’d gotten past him. That memory is up there with the rest of my favorites.”
“You know that was only because he was hung over,” Gage said from over her shoulder.
“Hung over, and Cap knew it too. So he made him participate in twice the number of drills as the rest of us. Remember how green he looked after that one simulation with the strobe lights?”
“Well, I’d love to watch the next time you guys run it. I’ll have to make sure Mae is invited that day too.”
Sloane loved the way Stone’s face lit up at that idea.
They made their way back to the control room, Sloane sitting right next to Gage as he worked to clear the glitch. Ten minutes later, the lights all came back on, flooding the simulation floor with light.
“Christ, about time.”
“Alright, you two, if you’re good now, I’m going to head out. Hawk sent a text in the group chat about needing some help over at the clinic, and Nash is on office duty with Mae until Reap gets back from that meeting with Cap.”
“Yeah, go. We’re good here.” Gage nodded over his shoulder.
“See you later, Sloane. You did really well in training today. Don’t let the blip at the end get in your head, got it?”
She bit the inside of her cheek and stood, wiping the palms of her hands off on her leggings.
“You good?” Gage asked.
“Yep.” She went up on her tiptoes and then back flat-footed.
“What’s going on?” Stone’s eyebrows wove together, creating a worry line between his eyes.
“I was wondering something.”
“Okay?”
“I want you to know that I feel really safe with Gage.”
“That’s great, Sloane. We all are happy you two have each other.”
“Thanks.” She smiled. “But the thing is, I also feel really safe with you. And I was wondering…” The question stuck in her throat. “I’m working so hard to get over my touch avoidance and earlier I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I could hear your voice. I knew it was you. I should have let you help me, and I was wondering if I could try to give you a hug. Maybe my brain will slow down in the future and remember if I’m ever having a panic attack that your touch is safe too.”
She finally looked up, relief pouring through her at the dopey smile on Stone’s face. His arms were outstretched and she walked right into them. He wrapped them around her shoulders just as she closed hers around his back.
“Yup,” she sighed. “Just like I thought.”
“What? Am I bad at giving hugs? Has Mae said something about?—”
“No,” Sloane laughed. “I just knew I’d feel safe. That’s all.”
Stone gave her an extra squeeze, holding on until Gage cleared his throat.
“Alright, alright. I’m just as happy as anyone else that the hug was a success, but Christ, Doc. Let’s keep things professional here.”
“He was talking to you,” Stone joked.
“Please. Everyone knows I couldn’t get a cool nickname like ‘Doc’. He stuck me with the color of my hair.”
Gage patted his lap and then held out his hand. “Red.”
“See what I mean?”
“Okay, Track. Don’t do anything Hawk would try in here if he was alone with a pretty lady. See you guys later.”