Chapter 20
Twenty
S loane’s eyes darted to Gage as a satisfied groan filled the space between them. They’d ordered in from Dolly’s, both of them opting for her fish fry with a slice of apple pie. She had barely touched the fish, but the pie had been incredible.
Gage, on the other hand, had finished off nearly everything by the time she was setting her plate down. It hadn’t passed her notice that the guys were fast eaters, probably something they picked up during their time in the Navy.
“You okay over there?”
“Yeah,” he laughed, patting his stomach. “I think I need to stop with all the pie, though. Dolly’s gonna have me gaining twenty pounds here soon if I don’t.”
“I’m going to put my dishes in the sink. Can I take that for you?” She gestured to the plate in his hand.
“Sure. But just leave them there. I’ll wash ‘em up once this episode is over.”
Sloane walked the dishes to the sink, pausing for a second before she turned the hot water on and added soap to a sponge. She was enjoying making their way through the seasons of Gage’s favorite show, but something inside her was feeling restless. They’d become predictable in the time since she first had to move in with him. Finish work in the afternoon, train in the gym, figure out dinner, and then sit down to enjoy whatever they made, or more often ordered in, while watching a few episodes of his show.
Then they’d clean up together. Gage would bring out his laptop and work while Sloane got ready for bed. They’d fall asleep together, her curled up on his chest and him with his strong arms banded around her, keeping her safe.
And that was the thing. She did feel safe. She felt safe when they held hands. She felt safe when they kissed. God, she felt so safe when his fingers skimmed up her arm, or pressed into the small of her back when they walked through a doorway…
Sloane bit her bottom lip as she rinsed the sudsy plate in her hands. The desire pooling in her belly was going to force her to make a decision soon and she knew what she wanted. She needed to try. To push herself more. To give herself to Gage. The butterflies in her stomach were exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
Slipping down the hallway, Sloane moved towards the bedroom. In the background, she could still hear his show playing, but she knew Gage wouldn’t be paying attention. He’d be worrying about her until she went back out there. So she needed to be fast.
Her hands rifled through the drawer she’d taken over, once filled with Gage’s socks, now overflowed with her bras and panties. She was a practical woman, but had a set or two that really made her feel good. Powerful. Seductive.
When lace appeared from the back of the drawer, Sloane grabbed it, running to the closet to take one of Gage’s button-down shirts into the bathroom to change.
“Sloane? Everything okay?”
“Yep,” her voice squeaked as she stepped out of the bedroom, feet padding across the hardwood floors.
She stopped and leaned against the wall, rolling the bottom of his shirt between her fingers as the shoulder slipped down, revealing the lacy strap of her bra.
“Red, my god.” Gage stood up from the couch, clearing his throat. “What’s… all this? What’s going on?”
“I thought we could… work on my touch exposure.”
The look of surprise on his face would have been comical if she weren’t so nervous.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Would you mind sitting back down?”
“I think I can manage that.” She watched him sit on the couch as the butterflies in her stomach took off like a hurricane. They stared at each other across the space of the living room until she finally got up the courage to move.
With each step, Sloane gathered a bit more of the fabric from his shirt into her fingers, raising the hem higher and higher on her thighs. She watched as Gage’s eyes dropped to her legs, moving up inch by inch as she stepped closer to him.
“Sit back,” she whispered when her toes bumped into his. He obeyed instantly. Her nerves spiked for a moment as she thought about what came next, but she pushed them away. It was not the time to back down. She was moving forward with Gage. Not only was she wildly attracted to him, he was massively supportive of her boundaries. She was safe with him. It could work. She’d make it work.
“What can I—” Sloane slipped her finger over his lips as she climbed onto his lap.
“I just want to see…” Her fingers lifted, raking through his hair and scratching down his neck as she wiggled her hips.
“I’m gonna need permission… now, Sloane,” he groaned.
“Permission?”
“To touch you. Tell me I can. Tell me how I can touch you that will make you comfortable.”
“Hmm. Why don’t you start with my hips?”
“Over the shirt, or under?”
“Under, Clark.”
Gage’s light touch set her skin on fire. Oh, shit. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so turned on. And his hands were only on her hips.
“No, Sloane.”
“No?”
“Only my real name when we’re touching each other like this. I only want to hear my name on those pretty pale pink lips of yours.”
“But you get to call me ‘Red’?”
“Yes. Red. Baby. Beautiful. Sweetheart. I see the way you blush when I call you those names. But I only want my real name when we’re connecting like this.”
She wanted to argue, to tease him about how unfair that was, but her mind went fuzzy as his hand moved from her waist to her belly. His thumb reached up to graze the underside of her bra and her breath hitched. There was no way she wouldn’t be an absolute puddle if his hands just happened to move a little closer to her core…
In the next breath, his hands were off of her, being held up by his face.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“You went quiet. Held your breath. I thought you were?—”
Her hands reached out, capturing his so that she could place them back on her hips. Did she intentionally arch her back, pressing his hands lower than where they’d originally been so he’d have to drag his fingertips across her ass to get them back on her hips? Yes. And she didn’t regret it for a single second.
“It felt so good, Gage. Please, keep touching me.”
“If any of this is too much?—”
Sloane leaned forward, pressing her lips to Gage’s. “I’m good right now. So good. Keep going. Please.”
His hand traced back around her waist, a familiar path of sensation burning hot throughout her body. His touch was gentle, and kind, and his face was filled with a look that was so fiercely possessive and yet deeply awed that it made emotion stick heavy in her throat.
“You are so incredible, Red. Is this okay? If I touch you here, like this?” His fingers dipped under the collar of the shirt she was wearing, lightly tracing the lace strap of her bra.
“Yes. More.” Her reply was nearly breathless.
“What about here?” he asked as his head came to rest near her ear. His warm breath sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine. One that exploded into an inferno as his thumb brushed in between the cup of her bra and her skin, lightly touching her peaked nipple.
She moaned as her hands wrapped around his back, sliding up his neck and into his hair.
“You’re fucking perfect, baby. Absolutely fucking perfect.”
Memories flooded back. Of all the times she’d tried to move past what had happened. All the times she’d tried to take back her power. To bring pleasure to herself. All the times she failed.
His hand cupped her jaw, pressing his lips down on hers. For a moment the worry drifted away, lost in the pleasure-filled waves of his gentle exploration. But the minute his lips pulled away from hers, the fears flooded back.
* * *
He froze. The sounds that he’d been pulling from Sloane were incredible. Passionate. Breathy. All pointing out that she was comfortable under his touch. But that last sound, filled with fear, cut him right to the bone.
“We’re not going any further. I won’t touch you any more. You’re safe. Just try to breathe.”
His hands were off her the instant he’d heard her distress, but she wasn’t moving to get away from him. Should he help her off his lap? Was she so lost to panic that she couldn’t move on her own?
Her eyes were focused on him, but her head just shook side to side.
“I’m okay,” she said, finally breaking the silence.
“You’re not. I heard you. We’re not doing anything else tonight.”
“No, please. I want this, Gage. I want to take the next step. I need to. But I’m not sure?—”
“I’m not going to touch you if it’s not one-thousand percent what you want, Red. I can’t.”
She shook her head. “It’s just that I haven’t… I mean I can’t… and I don’t want to disappoint you…”
“What?”
She buried her face in his chest. “I haven’t been able to orgasm since I was taken.”
Gage’s thumb tipped her chin up so he could look right in her eyes. “Not with a partner?”
“You think I’ve been able to let someone touch me? There’ve been no partners.”
“Right. That was such a stupid question on my part.” He shook his head. “So, not even by yourself?”
A cherry red blush bloomed across her cheeks. “I’ve been close before, but can’t seem to get my mind to shut off long enough for it to happen.”
“Okay.” His mind worked in overdrive as he began planning what to do next.
“Okay?”
“Yes. I’ve got a game plan now. I’ll coach you through it. Let’s go.”
“You’re going to do what?”
Gage picked Sloane up off his lap, setting her on her feet before spinning her around and hauling her down the hallway to their bedroom. He walked her over to the bed, and left her standing alone, a confused and almost dazed look on her face.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
“I’m not going to touch you. I’m going to talk you through touching yourself.”
“Gage!” she laughed. “I don’t think I can do that.”
“If you want to stop, at any point, we will. But I think I can get you there. That you can get yourself there with my help.”
“I don’t know. That’s a lot of pressure.”
“No, because I’m gonna take this chair here,” he grunted as he picked it up, turning to walk towards the door. “And I’m gonna sit here at the door, with my back turned to you. You can be under your covers, and I’ll turn off the lights. You’ll still be able to hear my instructions, and I’ll still be able to hear if you’re being good and following them, but I won’t look.”
“And I’m just supposed to take your word for it?”
“Yes. Besides, with the lights off, I won’t be able to see anything in here, no matter how desperately I want to.”
“I need…” her eyes darted to the bathroom.
“What. Tell me what you need.”
“The light has to stay on.”
Shit. He’d completely forgotten about that. “Right. Of course. It can stay on.”
“And you can watch.”
Gage groaned. Fuck. That was so fucking hot. She had no idea what she was doing to him. Her gaze lowered to his jeans and then back up to meet his eyes while she bit her lower lip. Maybe she did know, after all.
“Are you going to touch yourself?” His dick jumped at the thought. Baby steps, idiot. Sloane needed him to move slowly. She was worth that.
“No.” Fuck, his cock was straining painfully against his zipper, thinking about Sloane even entertaining the idea of doing that with him. “Tonight is about you. I want you to be completely comfortable. I want you to trust me. If you say we need to stop, we’ll stop. And my hands will stay firmly on the arms of that chair. Now, tell me what you like.”
“I don’t know?”
“Do you want me to praise you, Red? To tell you all the things I love about you and your body?”
He watched a little shudder roll through her body. Her pupils were blown wide, even as a blush dusted her cheekbones.
“I like praise.” She smiled. “And I think I would like to hear what you find attractive about me.”
He heard the hesitant strain in her voice. “But?”
“I just don’t want you to feel bad when this doesn’t work.”
“We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it. Or rather, if we don’t come to it.”
“Gage.” She rolled her eyes at his terrible joke, but her shoulders relaxed and he watched some of the tension bleed out of her body.
“I’m going to run you a bath. You’re going to soak until your muscles are relaxed and you feel warm all over . Then, I want you to get into whatever you’re going to be most comfortable in, and slide into bed.”
“What are you going to be doing while I take a bath?”
“I’ve got to get some things set up in here.”
“Set up?”
“Some candles, for light because I know you don’t want to be in the dark. That way we don’t have to count on the harsh light from the bathroom. And Mae got me one of those fancy oil diffusers for Christmas. I haven’t had a reason to break it out before now, but I remember there being some sandalwood scented something or other in there to use.”
“That’s my favorite.”
He tried not to puff his chest out at that. It was the main scent profile in the cologne he wore. “Let’s get that bath going and I’ll have this place ready in a few minutes.”
Gage walked towards the bathroom, but turned when he didn’t feel her walking behind him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just…”
“What?”
“Could I borrow one of your shirts? To wear after my bath?”
Gage had to physically force himself not to puff out his chest and pound on it like a possessive gorilla. “Fuck yes, you can,” he growled as he stalked towards his closet and found the softest, most worn in t-shirt he had. It would likely drown her, but if that was the comfort she wanted, then he was going to give it to her.
He smiled as he handed it to her. But she took it from him with a concerned look still etched across her brow.
“What, Red?”
“Is your cologne in the bathroom? I want to spray it onto the shirt so it smells like you.”
“Fuck. Are you trying to kill me right now?”
“I’m sorry,” her face dropped. “This is great. I shouldn’t have asked.”
His fingers itched to touch her, and maybe against his better judgment, he let himself. His hand cupped her cheek while his thumb stroked over his delicate skin. “The fact that you want to smell like me while we do this is so fucking incredible, I’m trying not to think about it too much so I don’t come in my pants like a teenager, Sloane.”
* * *
The bath had been incredible, and Sloane took her time, focusing on relaxing every part of her body. But it was short lived once she slid between the sheets. Gage had set up the bedroom beautifully. There were enough candles that the main light in the bedroom and bathroom could stay off and she wouldn’t be scared. And the air around her smelled so deeply spiced with sandalwood that it felt like he was brushing up against her, tickling every nerve she had with his touch, even as he sat in the chair looking like a man about to devour his last meal.
“Lie back and close your eyes.” Gage’s command startled her. “You’re ready for this, Sloane. So, listen to what I’m saying. Lie back and close your eyes.”
She slipped down lower beneath the sheet, not missing the way Gage’s eyes followed the line of her body. Even with the covering, and wearing his shirt, she felt exposed to him. And that set the butterflies free.
Sloane reached up, pulling the clip out of her hair. The long strands fell down, fanning out around her as she nestled in against the pillows.
“So beautiful, Red. Do you feel comfortable?”
“Yes,” she whispered as the room disappeared behind her eyelids.
“Good. Are you going to keep wearing my shirt, or do you want to slip it off before we begin?”
“Oh.” The thought of being completely naked in front of Gage had Sloane’s hips rolling, her thighs clamping together to provide some relief for the ache budding between her legs.
“Does that turn you on? The thought of being naked in front of me? The idea that you’d be torturing me, lying there under my sheets, the cool fabric touching every inch of you that I’m dying to touch?”
The shirt was originally a piece of armor for her. A blanket of safety. But now it felt too stifling. Too constricting. She wanted nothing between her and the bedding. Nothing between her and the thoughts of soft cotton turning into Gage’s touch.
She slid her hands down her body, pulling the sheet up to cover her chest with a giggle before pulling his shirt off in one smooth motion.
“Christ, that was sexy.”
Her eyes opened gently just in time to see Gage trace every curve of her body, the heat from his lust-filled gaze setting her skin on fire.
“What now?” she asked.
“Now, we have fun.”
* * *
Why the fuck had he thought sitting in a chair was a good idea when his girlfriend was naked in his bed, getting ready to touch herself? Christ, he was an idiot. Gage reached down, adjusting his already aching cock. He took a deep breath, his hands gripping the arms of the chair he was sitting in so tight his knuckles turned white.
His discomfort didn’t matter. The fact that Sloane wanted to do this with him, to touch herself, to be so intimately connected with Gage without him even touching her, was incredible.
“Tell me what to do,” she whispered, the slight breathlessness in her voice giving away how worked up she was.
“How about I tell you what I’d do, and you follow with your hands?”
“Yes.”
“I want to kiss you, Sloane. First thing I’d do is nibble on that plump pink bottom lip you love to stick out at me. I’ve been imagining what it would be like to sink my teeth into it while my hands are getting ready to explore your body.”
He watched as her lip slipped in between her teeth. She applied pressure to the delicate skin, groaning as she raked her teeth across it.
“Good girl. My hands would skim up your body, from your hips, to your stomach, to just underneath your breasts. Fuck, I want to touch them again so badly. To run my thumb over the tight bud of your nipple.” Her hands moved up her body, but his eyes were glued to her face. She was relaxed, but her lips were parted softly, her breath picking up the closer she got to her chest. Gage dropped his gaze, able to see her body responding to his words before her hands came up and covered her breasts.
“God, that feels…”
“Don’t hold back. Tell me.”
“Incredible. I don’t normally?—”
“Play with your nipples during self care time? That’s a shame. I wish you could see how incredibly hot it is. You look like something straight out of my fantasies. I’m already so fucking hard and I can’t even see you with that sheet covering you up.”
She let out a little laugh. “It’s not my go-to move, but I’m rethinking that now.”
“Hmm, interesting.”
She wiggled her legs, her hips moving sharply. A groan of frustration filled the air. “I need more. Please, Gage. Tell me what to do next.”
He smiled. “I love hearing you say what you need. You’re doing so good, baby.”
“Mmm.” She moaned as her face flushed pink. He watched as her hand trailed lower under the sheets.
“That’s it, Red. I know you want to touch your clit, don’t you baby?”
“Yes….”
“Are you wet, Sloane?”
Her bottom lip went back between her teeth as her knees fell further apart.
“Answer me, sweetheart. Tell me if your body is enjoying this.”
“Yes. Yes, I’m wet. Yes. This feels so good, Gage.”
“Keep one finger on your clit. Bring your other hand back up to your nipple and play with it for me. Both at the same time.”
Her tiny moans sent a shiver through his body. Fuck. He was getting worked up. She gasped, her back arching off the bed while her head pushed into the pillow.
“Oh, fuck. Those noises are killing me.” His cock leaked, begging for him to free it from his pants and stroke himself. There was no way he could. He’d promised Sloane he wouldn’t touch himself, and he meant it. No matter how many times she called out his name. No matter how many times she moaned in pleasure.
“Can’t. Help. It.” She panted. “I think… I feel like I’m getting closer, Gage.”
“Yeah, baby, I know you are. Keep working your clit, gorgeous. You’re doing so good. I know you’re going to get yourself off. Because you’re a good girl. You’re a good girl who wants to make me happy. And nothing will make me happier than seeing you fall off that ledge, Red.”
“I can’t…”
“No. None of that. You can. Because it’s not your hand touching you right now. It’s my tongue. And you taste so fucking good.” Gage moaned, imagining the moment he actually would taste her. Christ.
“Keep talking…”
“Fuck. You’re so beautiful like this. I’m fucking hard as steel over here, thinking about the moment my tongue finally get a taste of you. I love hearing you ask for what you need. Ready to take the praise I give you. I love it, Red. I love you.”
“More.” She was flushed, her breath hitching with every circle of her fingers. He could stare at her like that for the rest of eternity. “I’m so close. God, Gage. I’m so close.”
“Tell me what you’re feeling.”
“Hot. It f-feels too hot.” He heard her legs kicking away the comforter, and his eyes shot to the ceiling. She was laying naked, buzzing close to the edge of an orgasm, in his bed. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He had not thought it through enough. She wasn’t the only one moaning as the blanket reached her feet.
“I need… I can’t get there without…”
Gage’s mind slipped back to Sloane. “What, baby? What do you need?”
“I need you to come kiss me. Please? I need you.”
He’d never moved faster in his life. Gage climbed onto the mattress, his body staying to the side of Sloane while he leaned down and captured her mouth with his.
Her enthusiastic approval vibrated through him, sending lightning all the way down to his toes. Christ, his balls ached, begging for release as he felt the familiar tingle starting at the bottom of his spine. He shifted his hips, trying to find some relief. Holy fuck, he was going to?—
Her lips opened and he swallowed down her scream at the same time his own orgasm slammed into him. His chest heaved as he fought to catch his breath. Fuck, he’d made a mess of himself without even touching Sloane.
The room was silent, except for the sounds of their breaths slowing down as they both came back to reality after their orgasms.
“Red?” he whispered, keeping his eyes trained on her face.
“Yeah,” she panted back, her voice still so fucking breathy and dreamy.
“I’ve got my eyes glued on your face right now. But I’m desperate to look at the rest of you. Just wanted you to know in case you wanted to cover up.”
“Gage, I knew what I was doing. You can look.”
His eyes dropped in a flash. Holy fuck. If he hadn’t just come, the sight of her naked in his bed, hair splayed out like a halo on his pillows, flushed the most delicious shade of cherry red from her cheeks… yup… all the way down to her toes, certainly would have sent him over the edge.
“I got hot,” she said sheepishly as she pulled the covers back over herself. God, she sounded like the most delicious combination of exhausted and sated. Fuck if his heart didn’t skip a beat looking at her like a goddamn sap.
Her eyes were half-open, a lazy smile starting to grow across her face. Sloane dropped her eyes to his pants, and he knew the instant she registered what happened.
“Did you…”
“Come the hardest I have in my life, right in my pants, because you sounded so fucking incredible? Yes, I did.”
“Oh,” she giggled. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
“Probably best just not to say anything at all.”
“I don’t know. I was feeling great about my orgasm, but now I feel powerful, too. Knowing I caused all… that. You didn’t even touch me, except for when you kissed me. That’s how attracted you are to me?” She nibbled on her bottom lip and Gage groaned.
“Red, that isn’t even half of how attracted I am to you.” He reached over and swept her hair off her forehead. “I need to go, uh, clean up. You gonna be okay here for a minute before I come back?”
“More than okay. I promise.”
“Good. Close your eyes, I’ll be right back.”
He made his way to the bathroom and cleaned himself up, pulling on a pair of shorts but leaving his chest bare, before walking back over to his bed.
“You want me to help you put your shirt back on before I climb in, Red?”
Her eyes remained shut, but a smile grew across her face.
“No. I’m good. I’ve always wanted to be someone who sleeps naked. Maybe we can trial run it tonight.”
His dick twitched, coming right back to life after one of the most life-altering orgasms he’d ever had. Down boy . The only thing he was interested in was getting to finally pull Sloane back into his arms.
“A trial run sounds perfect.”
He climbed into bed, slightly lifting the comforter so Sloane could roll over and cuddle against him. His breath caught in his chest as she snuggled down into his side, her hand coming up to trace the outline of the Bone Frog tattoo on his forearm.
“You okay, Superman?”
“I am. Thank you, Sloane.”
“I should be saying that after the orgasm I just had,” she chuckled.
“No. I really mean it. Thank you. For trusting me.”
She pushed against him, lifting her head off his chest to kiss his jaw. “Thank you for being someone I can trust.”