Chapter 11
Eleven
“Knock, Knock.” Jake’s face popped into the room from behind the door before he walked in, carrying liquid hope in his hands. An IV drip sounded so luxurious. Jessie hated the way it was hard to even lift her head off the pillow, the dizziness and throbbing making her groan.
“Hawk wasn’t kidding when he said you were having a hard time.”
“Where is he?” she asked, her voice cracking with sleep and thirst.
“He stayed out in the living room. Figured you might be more open to being honest about how rough this has been without him around.”
“Smart man.”
Jake chuckled. “I’m just going to move some pillows around to prop your arm and then I’ll get ready to access a vein. Stay on your back and feel free to keep your eyes closed if that’s helping with the nausea and dizziness.”
“It is,” she whispered, all the energy she’d managed to gather to greet him slipping from her body. Jessie heard Jake moving around the room, and felt him push a pillow up next to her arm.
“You’re taking your prenatals?”
She swallowed, thinking of the giant oblong pills that sat like a rock in her stomach. Jessie forced one eye open, her gaze dropping to the arm Jake was prepping. “Trying to. They don’t always stay down.”
He nodded as he spread out a paper on the pillow next to her arm. “And how are you feeling about anti-nausea medication?”
“Honestly, I’m rethinking my harsh ‘I’m not taking any medication’ stance.”
Jake chuckled. “Alright. I’m thinking we try a B6 supplement and go from there. Ease you in as best we can, and hopefully the lowest grade intervention will work. It might give you time to get in to see your OB, who will have a better grasp on what medications can be prescribed.”
“Isn’t that already in my vitamins?”
He smiled as the needle pierced her skin.
Jessie winced. “Sorry about that. And it is. But there’s research that supports additional supplementation of B6 can lower nausea in pregnant patients.
You can absolutely talk to your OB about it before you start anything, if that would make you feel more comfortable. ”
She closed her eyes and winced. “At this point, I just want to not feel nauseous ever again.”
Jake patted her ankle. “You’re a trooper, Jess. We’ll do our best to get you feeling better.”
“Jess?” Hawk’s voice woke her before she felt his warm hand pressing down on her arm.
“Did I fall asleep?” Her eyes fluttered open, immediately noticing how Hawk’s bedroom was cloaked in darkness. She’d slept the whole rest of the afternoon away apparently.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I was getting ready to make dinner.”
Her eyes dropped to the plastic bag sandwiched between their hips.
“Is that what’s in the bag?”
“No.” His smile was bright, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I ran down to the Shop and Save while you were sleeping. Grabbed some things that might help with the nausea.”
Her heart squished wildly in her chest. “You did? How did you know what to get?”
An adorable blush dotted his cheeks. “Jake gave me some ideas, but I’ve been reading up on the first trimester stuff. You know I got that pregnancy app, too. There’s a couple articles that pointed to some additional natural remedies we could try out. And…” Hawk’s eyes dropped to the comforter.
“And what?”
“I joined a few due date groups. For parents, expecting babies in August.”
“You did? Why?”
“I don’t want to be in the dark about how to help you. Or about what you’re going through. The least I can do is be the partner that holds all the information, so if something comes up, I’ll know how to help you.”
“You’d do all that for me?”
“You’re bringing an entire human into the world–into our family–for me, Jessie.
This is the very least, and I mean that truly with my whole heart, that I could be doing for you.
Which is why I went to get some of these things.
This is just the first line of defense, too.
I have some other tricks up my sleeve, but figured you’d want to start with the gentlest options first.”
“Thank you,” her voice pulled tight as she reached for the bag. Ginger tea and candies. Sour drops. Lemon-lime flavored soda. Alcohol wipes? Jessie held up the package. “What are these for? In case Jake has to give me another IV?”
“No,” he answered, a smile pulling up the corner of his mouth.
“A first time mom in the due-date group said her doctor recommended smelling the alcohol wipe quickly when she first felt nauseous. Something about how studies show it tricks your olfactory senses into being distracted and lessens the nausea. I read one study that said you could feel complete relief from your symptoms for thirty minutes or more. I figured you could stash some away in your bag, and I’ll always carry a few if they work for you. ”
The familiar feeling of tears forming stung against the back of her eyes. Instead of letting them fall, Jessie leaned forward, pressing her face into Hawk’s chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No. Not at all,” she sniffled. “You read a study for me? You joined expectant mom groups?”
“Knowledge is power.”
“Who told you that?” she laughed, remembering the exact moment the words left her mouth in the diner.
“Well, you see. There’s this woman I know. She’s really smart, and so fucking sexy. She has this perfect ass that I can’t keep my hands off of, and this wicked way of teasing me…”
“She sounds like a keeper.”
Hawk lowered his face, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was soft, and precious, and she felt the promise he was making to her without saying anything at all.
And then his hand slipped off her hip and cradled her belly. “Oh, she definitely is. I’m just working on making sure she knows I’m worthy of her.”
“You don’t–” Her protest was cut off with another kiss. Normally, she hated being interrupted, but this… yeah, she could get used to this.
“I do. And I will.” Hawk tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and Jessie realized how awful she must look. Nauseous, sweaty, just waking up after pretty much passing out from exhaustion in his bed. God. She couldn’t hold back the groan that was building in her throat.
“How’s your stomach feeling? Is it bad again?” he asked.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Surprisingly, she felt a little hungry. “No. I feel better.”
Hawk stood, the loss of his warmth immediately noticeable to her.
“I was thinking…” He fiddled with the handle of the plastic bag.
“Okay?”
“I’d like to tell the rest of the guys about us… about the baby. Gunner and Stone know, and I want to share it with Nash and Gage, too.”
She could see how important it was to him. Of course it was. Normal people didn’t hide from things like that. He had a family and a group of friends who loved him and wanted to support him. Hawk should be able to tell whoever he wanted.
The guilt was eating her up. “Of course you can tell them. I just—“
“I’ll tell them it stays between us for now. They won’t say a word outside of this building.”
“The girls?” Jessie asked.
“Do you want them to know? Mae obviously knows, but she hasn’t said anything.”
Sloane, Lily, and Lacy had been nothing but absolutely wonderful to her, and they didn’t need to be kept in the dark. “Yes. I actually think I’m desperate for them to know. But, I think I’d like to do it. Maybe I can group chat with them?”
“Sounds like a plan.” He scooped up the box of alcohol wipes and placed them back in the bag with the other things he’d bought for her.
“Don’t put that stuff too far away just yet.”
Hawks face fell. “I thought you said you were feeling better?”
“I am. I think I might be ready to eat something. And we probably should keep that stuff close just in case.”
“That’s great. Jake said nothing too greasy, or spicy, but if there was something that sounded good to you, we should try it. Up for anything specific?”
She hummed. Her mom always made her one dinner whenever she was sick as a kid, and it actually made her mouth salivate, in a good way, to think about taking a bite of it. “Buttered noodles. With salt and rosemary. Oh god, yeah. That’s exactly what I could go for.”
Hawk bent over, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Your wish is my command.”
Jessie just shook her head, swinging her feet over the side of the bed. She could feel the concern rolling off of him in waves, but he offered her his hand as she stood.
“I feel like a baby deer,” Jessie complained, hating how weak her body was. “But I don’t want you to have to wait on me. I can take care of myself.”
Hawk’s growl was immediate. His arms reached out and scooped her up, depositing her right back into bed. He knelt down in front of her knees, his hands bracketing her hips.
“I helped you up because I thought you might have to use the bathroom after that IV you got. Let me take care of you.”
“It’s not… I don’t—”
“I know you don’t like feeling weak. Nobody does. But the truth of the matter is, even as you’re stuck laying in this bed, you are still the strongest fucking woman I know.”
She shook her head, and Hawk sighed as he moved to sit down on the bed next to her.
“Jess. You and the baby are my responsibility. And it’s the biggest fucking honor of my life to get to take care of the both of you. You aren’t weak for accepting that help. You’re so incredibly strong.”
She smiled, her hand coming to rest on his arm before she gave it a playful squeeze. “Okay.”
“Good. Buttered noodles with rosemary coming right up.”
“Wait!” Jess smiled.
“What?”
“I actually do have to go to the bathroom.”
Hawk chuckled as he stood, bending down to scoop her up again. This time, Jessie’s arms went right around his neck. She knew he wouldn’t put her down, but she still had to protest.
“I can walk, you know.”
A rumble vibrated through his chest. “You’re letting me take care of you, remember?”
“I remember,” she sighed as Hawk took off, moving towards the bathroom. “But don’t think for a second I’m letting you stay in here while I pee.”
“Jess—”