Chapter 20 #2
“Oh, honey. I was just joking. We’re all happy you have Hawk.” Adrienne stepped in so she was right at Jessie’s side. “We definitely need to catch up though! Things have gone nuclear with my man, in the best way… Jess, I’m not kidding. This man is so hot!”
“Jessie?” Her mom’s voice carried from the doorway of the kitchen.
“Later. Text me when a good time to catch up will be.” Adrienne squeezed her arm and took off towards one of her tables.
“Hi, Mom.” Tears stung her eyes.
“Oh, baby. Come here.” Dolly held out her hand and Jessie took it, walking numbly back to the office. They sat on the small sofa, knees touching, as Dolly dabbed at her own eyes. “Where do I even start?”
“I’m sorry I let you down.” Jessie forced her voice to remain steady and clear. “I know you were counting on me for so much and this is all the worst timing. But I don’t regret my baby. How could I?”
“Jessica. Nothing your father said is what I think. I’m sorry I put so much on your shoulders. And my God… I know how good of a man Hawk is. If you’re happy, if he loves you and is good to you, I’m over the moon, sweetie. You have to have known that!”
“I didn’t, Ma. How would I? My whole life it’s been ‘make your family proud.’ Dad’s the head of our family, and you didn’t stand up for me.”
“You’re right. But you would have known if you returned any of my texts.
Thank god Hawk let me know how you were feeling these last few weeks.
I was beside myself, Jess.” Her mother must have registered her shock because she smiled and patted her hand.
“He didn’t tell me anything other than that you were physically okay.
Not one other thing, so don’t get mad at him.
Besides, I told him I was going to march over to the apartment and camp outside until you spoke to me. ”
“That would have been silly. I needed…” She sucked in a harsh breath, her chest shaking as she slowly released it. “I needed that time.”
“I know, baby. Which is exactly what Hawk told me when I called him. You needed space. And I respect that. But you can’t expect a mom not to worry. I imagine you are already feeling so much of that yourself.”
Jessie nodded. “I need you. I don’t want to lose our family over this. I can’t imagine the baby growing up here and not spending time at the ranch. Not sharing Christmas and birthdays with you all. I don’t want that for any of us.”
Dolly wrapped her arms around Jessie. “I know. I don’t want that either. We’ll figure out how to make it right. I promise.”
Jessie felt a million pounds lighter as she met Mae in the parking lot behind Montgomery Defense, which certainly wasn’t actually true as the strain of carrying Bee was definitely noticeable. Her hips ached and she’d been getting annoying pains through her hips and down her legs every few steps.
“Finally!” Mae hopped up and down as Jessie walked towards her. “Look at you! Look at your belly! Oh shit… I’m going to cry!”
“No! No crying!” Jessie laughed. “It hasn’t been that long since you saw me.”
“Jess. You’ve been hiding for weeks. I say this with all the love in the world, but I was about ready to kick down that apartment door if you tried to wiggle your way out of this today. And you definitely did not have that absolutely precious and perfectly round baby bump the last time I saw you!”
“I did, I was just hiding it under baggy clothes.”
“Well, I’m not sure why you decided to dress the bump today, but I love it and I hope you do this every day going forward!”
Mae linked her arm with Jessie and the two women started walking down the street. Jessie hadn’t noticed on the way to the diner, but it was unseasonably warm. The springtime sun seemed ready to give them summertime heat.
“…I swear Stone would love it if I did that.” A quick flashing light caught Jessie’s attention. A black sedan pulled away from the curb on the opposite side of the road and swerved before righting itself and driving away. A shiver ran through Jessie’s body.
“What’s wrong?” Mae asked, clearly picking up on the face that Jessie had stopped listening to her.
Jessie’s eyes followed the car down the road. “Nothing. It’s just, I swear that car looks familiar. I think I’ve seen it before.”
Mae’s head swiveled, tracking the car as it made its way down Ford Avenue.
“I’m sure you have. It’s a small town after all.”
“It’s just…”
Mae eyebrows pulled together.
“I keep seeing them. The first time, they were just sitting outside Lach’s shop. I thought it was weird that it sat there for probably an hour until I left, and then they followed me until I pulled into the diner.”
“Did they pull into the diner too?”
“No. Whoever it was kept going. But I think it’s the same kind of car that was driving aggressively the day I got really sick.
Now they’re… just randomly sitting outside our apartment?
It’s just weird that they’d be sitting there and then zoom past us, isn’t it?
” Jessie shook her head. “I’m probably overthinking it.
My protective mom-mode has been going haywire lately.
I swear I almost called Hawk the other day thinking I was going to be kidnapped when I took a small bag of trash out to the dumpster at Lach’s shop.
My anxiety is driving me crazy. And it’s not just that silly car.
I’m anxious about everything we still have to do and figure out before Bee gets here. ”
“Well, when those feelings overwhelm you, just remember that you have a great big group of friends who would love nothing more than to swoop in and help. We just don’t want to step on toes.
But Lily and Sloane already have a little stock pile of things for you and the baby that they’re hoarding in the closet at Sloane’s office. Don’t tell them I told.” Mae smiled.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you all in my life, but I am so thankful for whatever it was.”
“I fear the only correct answer to that is my brother, and as much as I love you and am excited for my niece or nephew to make their appearance, I can’t stomach thinking about him that way.”
Jessie laughed, placing her hand over her eyes to create a little shade from the sun. The cloudless sky wasn’t doing her any favors. Sweat was already starting to drip down to the small of her back.
“I’m the same way with my brothers. Although, I guess I’ve been lucky. It’s only been Colt so far to be in any sort of serious relationship, and Violet was always in my life, so I didn’t really ever know anything different.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled for the two of you—”
Jessie’s foot caught the edge of the sidewalk and her ankle rolled, causing her body to pitch forward.
She regained her balance easily enough—a lifetime of being the clumsiest person she knew coming in handy—but her brain didn’t seem to get the memo that all was well.
The sidewalk swirled in front of her. Mae’s hand landed on her arm, a distant, muffled pressure against her skin.
Jessie’s ears buzzed, nausea churning in her stomach as a cold sweat covered her from head to toe.
“Jessie? Whoa. Do you need to sit down?”
She blinked, clearing the blurriness from her vision. “No. I’m fine.” She managed a soft laugh that didn’t even sound convincing to herself. “I just felt a little woozy. Oh…” Her hand slid down her waist to the spot where she felt a little flutter. “I don’t think Bee enjoyed that either.”
“Are they kicking?”
“A bit.” She watched as Mae’s eyes dipped to her belly.
It was really starting to pop, accentuated by the purple wrap-style sundress she was wearing.
It had taken a little extra effort that morning to get ready in something she normally wouldn’t choose, but she wanted to remind Hawk about what he’d be missing on his work trip.
And she was already desperately waiting for her promised phone call that night.
“It must be wild.”
“Do you want to see if you can feel them? We could…” Jessie’s head swiveled around, trying to find a bench. “Oh, right there.” She pointed down the street, to the bench in front of Needle and Thread, the local seamstress shop. “Want to sit for a minute and we can see if you can feel a kick?”
“Hell yeah I want to feel my nephew kick!”
“You know,” Jessie laughed as they started slowly strolling towards the shop. “Your brother might be right. I might be having a girl.”
“No way. I mean… There are so many little girls in our rag-tag family right now. Addie, Sage, Embrie, and now Cami, too. Heck, even Sloane has Betty!”
Sloane and Gage were parents to the cutest pair of older dogs. “Yeah, but they have Darius. He counts.”
“And the first baby of the group was a boy, too,” Mae whispered.
Jessie nodded, understanding immediately that Mae was talking about Gage’s son, Mikey, who passed away with Gage’s wife in an awful accident before the guys had moved to Silver Springs.
Jessie followed Mae’s lead, sitting down next to her on the bench.
There was a light breeze that picked up, helping wash away the overheated feeling rolling through her body.
The tree next to the bench was providing a beautiful amount of shade, completely enveloping them in protection from the sun.
Her father would be so disappointed that she didn’t remember the species of the tree, and she knew he probably told her a dozen times growing up.
Would he teach her son those things too?
Even after every horrible thing he’d said about her at dinner, she held out hope that things could be fixed between them.
“Did you have a feeling?” Jessie asked. “About what your baby would be?”
Mae closed her eyes, and her heart sank.
“Oh, I’m sorry if that was insensitive of me. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“No, Jess. That was… I’m just taken aback at how sweet of a question that was. I don’t really talk about it, ever, but I think I’m starting to get to a place where their memory isn’t so painful.”
Jessie nodded, her hand caressing the tight skin over Bee.
“I thought my baby was a girl,” Mae whispered. “I had a bunch of crazy dreams before my miscarriage. In all of them, I was dancing with this sweet little thing in a tutu. It’s why Stone built me the dance studio in the new house. So, one day, that dream could come true.”
“Mae, that’s beautiful.”
“And that’s why I’ll always believe that mama knows best. I’m more apt to trust your intuition than that of my idiot brother.”
Jessie reached over, taking Mae’s hand and moving it to her belly.
“Hawk hasn’t been able to feel him yet, so no spilling the beans if you feel it first. That’ll just have to stay between us. But usually if I’m sitting still for a bit, he’ll start to kick around.”
“I don’t mind. Although,” Mae laughed as she looked around. “We probably look a little strange sitting here like this.”
“What’s the good of living in a small town if you can’t be the hot gossip every once in a while.” Jessie wiggled her eyebrows. “I’m sure people are having a field day talking about me anyway.”
“What would they have to say? That you have a man who is head-over-heels for you? Friends who are ready to support and love on you whenever they can? Anyone who wants to say something different can come straight to me. And I won’t hesitate to tell them to eat shit.”
Jessie smiled, but her eyes stung and her throat felt tight.
“Why are you upset?” Mae asked.
“Not upset. Grateful. For you. My family is making this whole thing so dramatic, and I’m just so happy that you and everyone else on Hawk’s side have embraced me so openly.”
“That’s so sweet.”
“I just never… I got to have a sister, for a while. But Colt got divorced, and things just weren’t the same with Violet after that.
She’s the best, don’t get me wrong, but she’s in New York.
And she hasn’t been back to Texas since the divorce.
I love having a sister again. And I can’t think of a better aunt for my baby. ”
Mae wrapped her arms around Jessie, surprising her as she tightened her hug.
“God, I’m the lucky one. I thought Hawk was never going to settle down.
I was going to be stuck with that lunk as my only sibling for life.
For life, Jess. And then you come along and I totally miss the fact that he can’t take his eyes off of you until I accidentally walked in on a very R-rated moment between you two… ”
“X-rated, honestly,” she laughed as she sat back from the embrace.
“Ew. Good for you, but also…” Mae brought her free hand up to her ear and covered it. “La-La-La-La-La.”
Jessie started to laugh when a sharp pain cut through her belly. Her arms instinctively wrapped around the baby as her body curled in on itself.
“Ooph!” she gasped, wincing as the pain disappeared as quickly as it came on.
“Did he kick?” Mae asked, her head tipping as she moved her hand.
“No… I,” Jessie tried to catch her breath as the phantom pain returned. “I have this… pain…”
She closed her eyes, trying to shift how she was sitting. It was probably her back acting up again. A pinched nerve that made her—
“Ow. God. Ow,” she whimpered, her fingers rubbing a circle over her tight skin.
“Shit. Okay, um… let me think…” Mae’s voice wobbled and Jessie forced her eyes back open at the sound of pure panic in her words. Jessie’s hand reached out and landed on Mae’s arm. She could feel Mae starting to shake.
“I-I’m sure it’s nothing. Something new stretching, or a pinched nerve. It just took me by surprise.”
Mae bit down on her bottom lip as she looked up the street over Jessie’s shoulder. “No. We can’t risk it. We need to get you to your doctor’s.”
“I’m seeing Birdie, and she only has office hours a few times a week.”
“Okay, then we go to the hospital if she’s not free to see you. You shouldn’t ignore it. You’re looking pale.”
Jessie squeezed her fingers again, hoping the pressure would ground Mae. “It’s already fading away.”
“I’m not ignoring this,” she snapped. “You almost fainted a few minutes ago. I shouldn’t have let you brush it off. Now you’re doing the same with this pain. You’re not going to do what I did. You’re not going to downplay something and lose… everything.”
“Should we call Stone? Do you need him right now?” Jessie asked, more worried for her sweet friend than for herself.
“No.” Mae’s eyes clouded with tears. “You need him though.”