Lacy
Sorry, sorry! I was nursing when I sent that and then Cami decided it was the perfect time for a blow out! There was MAJOR damage done. Full hazmat situation. Nash is handling that. Something else for you to look forward to, Jessie!
Mae:
I missed that while catching up. But GOD NO.
Not right now. If it was up to Nash, I’d be giving him all the babies, all the time.
Thankfully, I have some sense! Especially because of the news we have to share: Nash accepted the lead role at Trident II!
We’re already deep into planning how the Montana/Texas split will work, but I’m so proud of him!
Lily:
Oh my god! That’s incredible! You must be so excited!
Sloane:
Congratulations to you guys! We know how hard Nash has been working lately, he deserves this opportunity! And the fact that you’ll all be so close to his family, that’s incredible.
Mae:
That’s amazing! But we don’t want to say bye to you guys!!
Lacy:
Don’t worry, I’ll explain more at breakfast, but we plan on splitting our time! We’ll still be here a lot. You’re not getting rid of us that easily.
Jessie's stomach bottomed out. She’d been staring at the screen of her phone, her heart beating loudly in her ears as the messages came in. Because what did Lacy mean when she said Nash got the position Hawk was working so hard for?!
Did he know? How the hell was she supposed to keep her mouth shut.
She needed to tell him, but god, she didn’t want to be the one to break his heart.
He’d been looking forward to that promotion…
working so hard for all these months. Was it because of her trip to the hospital?
When he hadn’t been able to go to D.C? Had Sebastian decided to take it from him then?
Jessie set her phone on the nightstand and pushed up off their bed.
Her fingers immediately went to her back, digging into the sore muscles.
Her belly was officially enormous at thirty-two weeks along, and even though Bee was having a sleepy morning, she knew by the afternoon, it wouldn’t just be her back that was aching.
“Hey, Pretty Girl.” Hawk stood at the stove, cooking her current hyper-fixation meal. Except the thought of eating anything flipped her stomach. “You okay?”
She shook her head.
“What’s wrong?” He flipped off the switch to the burner he was cooking on and moved the food off the stove. Honestly, she wished he would throw it off the balcony. “Nausea level?”
“A seven.”
“Shit. Sit down. Is it what I was cooking? I’ll get rid of it.”
“No.” Jess held up her hand. “It’s not the food.”
“Okay…”
“Why did I just get a message from Lacy saying she’s so excited for Nash to lead the company expansion in Montana?”
Hawk smiled. He knew. He knew and he didn’t tell her. “It was the right move. It made sense for me to have time to focus on you and the baby, and Nash has been traveling to Montana with Lacy and the girls to spend time with his family. It’s a win for everyone.”
“Everyone except you!” Jessie threw her hands up in the air.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked, eyes wide as he ran his hand through his hair.
“Yes! Why the hell wouldn’t I be? You don’t just give up everything for me.
You’re allowed to be your own person, with your own goals and dreams. I should get the chance to support you for once!
You’re so focused on me, I think you’ve completely lost the plot on everything else. I think… I think I need to go home.”
“This is your home, Jess. You’re not going anywhere. Talk to me.”
She reached up and rubbed at her temple. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to give up everything, all the things that make you who you are, to take care of me.”
“I know it’s hard for you to accept help, but I want to be doing these things. I want to share my home with you. I want to know that you and Bee are safe. I want to know that I’m providing for my family.”
“But I want that too, Hawk. I want to know that I’m contributing. I want to support you in your dreams outside of our family. It’s not fair that you should give up everything for me. You’re going to end up resenting me.”
“The only thing I’m resenting is this conversation,” he grumbled.
The telltale pressure of oncoming tears built at the back of her eyes. “Don’t you want us to have open communication?”
“Of course I do. But I just hate that I wasn’t the one to tell you. That it’s making you stressed out. It’s not good for you or the baby.”
“Stop worrying about what’s good for me and the baby for one second!
What is good for you? You’re throwing away your career!
” Shit. A tear slipped down her cheek. “I would have gone with you. But you didn’t even talk to me about it.
You just made a sweeping decision for our family and you’re not treating me like a capable partner! ”
“Because that’s my job, Jessie! It’s to make sure the right decisions are made that keep you and Bee safe and happy.”
She was about to lose her cool. Instead of screaming, Jessie’s jaw tightened. She could feel her cheeks heating as her heartbeat pounded in her temples. “It’s not all on you. I wish you would have talked with me about this.”
“You shouldn’t be upset with me for doing what I thought was right for you and the baby.”
“I didn’t mean what I said before. I’m not mad at you.
” Her voice trembled and the stupid tears she’d been fighting back unleashed.
“I’m mad for you. That opportunity was yours.
All along. You’ve done everything right.
And I’m mad that you felt you had to give that up for us.
If you’re fine with it, then… fine! I’ll get over it. ”
“Sweetheart—”
He was walking towards her in an instant, but she pressed her hand out, stopping him from getting closer.
“No. Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me right now. I need to cool off.” Jessie got up from the table, wincing as something near her hip pulled. “I hope you have a good day at work. The girls will all be there for breakfast, can you tell them I wasn’t feeling well and needed to stay home?”
His eyes went wide, dropping to the spot where she was rubbing her side. “Are you not feeling well?”
“I’m fine. I just don’t have the energy to go downstairs and fake being happy about how this whole situation was handled. Please just go to work, and I’ll try to get over it before you come home.”
Hawk nodded, still closing the distance between them and placing a kiss on her head.
“I hope you have a good day. Bye, Bee. Take care of your mommy for me today, okay?” His hand slid over her belly for just a second before he was out the door and the silence of the apartment was filled with crying.
Jessie heard her phone chime as she walked down the hallway towards their bedroom. Maybe she should call her mom and ask about staying at the ranch for a few nights? Or just one night?
No, she didn’t want to run. That would only hurt Hawk more. She was letting her emotions get the best of her.
Flipping the phone over, she saw more messages from the girls, but also a new thread from her group chat with Adrienne and Dawn. It was easy enough to read through their messages, but right as she was about to respond, a single message came through from Adrienne.
Hey! I hope everything’s okay! You’re usually so fast to respond in the chat, I just got a weird feeling something might be wrong.
God, she’d been such a bad friend lately. To everyone. But especially Adrienne, who had been so sweet and supportive since she had to leave the diner.
I’m okay. Just a bit of a morning around here. You know how that is.
Yeah, I get it. Want to talk about it?
Actually, yeah, I’d love to. What’s your work schedule look like?
Hawk’s leg bounced up and down under his desk.
He knew he’d made a mistake not talking to Jessie when he decided to turn down the job, but he’d honestly expected her to feel happy about not having to uproot her life.
It was full of friends who loved her, and with a new baby in a new place, it would have been so hard to foster new friendships as well.
Here, they had a built-in support system.
There… they would have just been all on their own.
A knock at his door had Hawk reluctantly leaving his emotional spiral.
“What’s got you in knots today?” Gunner asked as he walked into the room.
“Jessie’s pissed at me.”
Gunner laughed. “Welcome to married life.”
“We’re not married.”
“Yet. You’ve got the ring, don’t you?”
Hawk’s eyes went wide. “How do you know about that?”
“I didn’t until just then,” he chuckled. “Busted.”
“The only person I’m trying to keep it a secret from is Jess.”
“Heard from Lily she’s already turned you down a few times.” Gunner smirked, lowering himself into the seat across from Hawk.
“Don’t even think about laughing at that. How many times did you have to ask Lily before she finally agreed?”
Gunner crossed his arms. “Not many.”
“Sure, Reap.”
“Listen, it’s not me pacing up and down the hallway, aggressively banging into shit. Are you upset about Jessie being too sick to come down to hang out with the girls?”
“She’s not really sick. At least, not how she usually is,” Hawk groaned as he scrubbed his hands over his face.
“I fucked up. Bad. I didn’t tell her I was handing The Trident II project over to Nash.
She thinks I’m giving up all my dreams for her and the baby, but I don’t know how to make it any clearer to her that she is my dream. ”
“So, what are you doing down here moping?”
“Huh?”
“Seems like you’ve got an upset girlfriend and instead of clearing the air with her, making sure she’s okay, communicating with each other until everything was sorted, you ran.”
Hawk stood up so fast his desk chair tipped back and rested against the wall.
“Shit. I’m so fucking dumb. Thanks, Reap. I owe you one.”
Hawk clasped his arm down on Gunner’s shoulder for just a second before he took off down the hall and headed up to the apartment.
Standing outside the apartment door, he froze.
Shit. There should be something in his hands.
A bouquet of flowers to go in that vase she’d brought home from Lach’s shop months ago.
No, scratch that. He hadn’t gotten that for her.
A new vase… filled with fresh flowers was what he needed.
Or a bag of her favorite crispy chocolate chip cookies.
A literal olive branch. Some goddamn thing that would say ‘I’m sorry for being the biggest dumb ass of all time.
I love you and I’m not giving up anything by choosing you.
’ Where was that greeting card when he needed it?
The door to the apartment swung open and Hawk froze. Fuck. Jessie’s eyes were rimmed with red, her nose and cheeks bright pink.
“Are you okay? Where are you going?” he asked, the realization that she was fully dressed with her purse on her arm zapping him out of his stupor.
“I’m meeting Adrienne downstairs. We’re going out.”
“Jessie…”
“Hawk.”
He held his hand out and waited. Her eyes dropped to his open palm, then back to his face. For a second he thought it wasn’t going to work. That she’d storm past him and a whole dramatic battle would take place right in the hallway.
But Hawk should have known better. Because a second later, her arms were wrapped around his waist and her face was snuggled down against his chest.
“I’m sorry for making it about me,” she whispered as he gently guided her back into the apartment.
“You were making the best decision for our family, and I appreciate how thoughtful you always are about what might be best for me and the baby. But you’re a part of the family too, and I want to—nope.
I need to—be a part of the decision making process, especially when it comes to turning down things that you are hugely passionate about. ”
“I messed up,” he admitted. “It kills me to know you were up here so upset all day. I’m so sorry, Jess. I promise, I’ll talk to you about everything from now on.”
“Thank you.” She wiped the tears that had trekked all the way down to her jaw. “I didn’t cry all day up here. I was so angry, I did some rage laundry.”
“Rage laundry?” Hawk laughed. “God, you’re so damn cute even when you’re mad.”
“I ran out of steam though, and that’s why I was crying when I gave up and told Adrienne to come get me. I didn’t want to put the laundry away.”
“Text Adrienne and get a rain check. I’ll put away the laundry. Then maybe we can get to my favorite part of arguing.”
“What’s that?”
“Make-up sex.”
It was Jessie’s turn to laugh as she wiped her eyes and took out her phone.