Chapter 10 #2
I nodded, as I tried to remember what James had told me about it in the past. “So, he survived, but he has no idea what really happened?”
“That’s right,” Sean replied, leaning forward. “It’s the same with George Ortell—head of the Resistants at Coastal. He’s a survivor too, but again, no memory of the events. It’s like the past was ripped right out of their minds.”
I shook my head, the implications settling in. “How is that even possible? Why would anyone go to such lengths to erase their memories?”
Sean sighed. “That’s the question, isn’t it? Whoever did this didn’t want them remembering what really happened. Makes you wonder what they’re trying to hide.”
I glanced at him, flipping through the pages of another worn-out text. “You ever hear stories about it?”
He nodded, as he turned serious. “Yeah, plenty. Crown still talks about it sometimes. The Battle changed everything—magi against magi, over whether or not we should reveal ourselves to humans. But the Elder is the only one who could give us the truth. If he’d talk, that is.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m on speaking terms with him right now, so we’ll have to keep digging.”
“Look, Emma, we’re in a public library,” Sean said, then glanced around. “I mean, we’re not gonna find anythin’ of real value here.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
Sean leaned in, his voice dropping slightly. “What yer lookin’ for…ye don’t think we might have more luck shiftin’ through—I don’t know—classified documents?”
“And where would I find those?” I asked, my frustration flaring.
Sean looked at me with sympathetic patience. “Ye really think yer next Leader wouldn’t have the kind of information yer after?”
I swallowed hard, his words settling over me like a weight I hadn’t been ready to carry. I wanted to dismiss them outright, to cling to the belief that James would’ve told me anything important. But the moment Sean said it, something inside me wavered.
James had always been careful with his words, deliberate in what he revealed. But it didn’t mean he was hiding anything from me.
Except. Wasn’t that exactly what it meant?
A slow, uneasy feeling curled in my stomach. I had doubted James before, but I had always doubted my own doubts more. It was easier that way—easier to believe I was overthinking, that I was too paranoid, how the secrecy was only strategy, not personal.
But reality was staring me in the face now, and Sean had spoken it aloud. The odds of James knowing more about the Elder and the Battle of ’59 weren’t high—they were undeniable.
I had spent so much time defending him in my mind, convincing myself he would tell me what he could, whenever he could. As if he wasn’t holding out on me. That if he had any real insights, he would have shared them.
But it was na?ve, wasn’t it?
James wasn’t another Offensive anymore. He was the next Leader. And the next Leader didn’t get to choose what he knew. He knew everything.
My fingers curled into fists as the realization sank in, shame twisting through me. I’d trusted him, and maybe I still did, but I’d been blind. I had been so caught up in what I wanted to believe about James, I had ignored what had been obvious all along.
Damn it.
Of course he knew more. He had to.
“What do you suggest?” I asked, my voice more resigned than curious.
“Where do ye think he’d keep any documents of value?” Sean asked. “Does he have an office?”
I shrugged, feeling helpless. “I have no idea.”
Sean’s eyes widened, incredulous. “Ye don’t know where yer own boyfriend keeps his office?”
I shrugged again, a bit defensive this time. “He doesn’t tell me much about his work.”
“So it would seem,” Sean said quietly, running a hand through his hair. “All right, well, there’s one place we know he’d keep somethin’ valuable. And one place ye definitely have access to.”
I blinked. “I do?”
Sean nodded. “Yeah. His loft.”
My stomach flipped. “You want me to break into his loft and search through his things?”
“Ye don’t want to?” Sean asked, his lips curling into a sly grin.
“Well, it definitely won’t win me any awards for ‘Girlfriend of the Year,’ will it?” I groaned. “Then again, if he’s been hiding information from me…”
Sean leaned back slightly, a knowing look on his face. “Exactly. Ye deserve to know the truth, Emma.”
I set my jaw, my decision settling in. “Fine. Jackson told me they have plans tonight. I’ll go over there in an hour.”
Sean's smirk deepened. “I can go with ye. James gave me clearance that first night I came in with him. Don’t think he’s revoked it.”
I nodded, thankful I wouldn’t have to face this alone with Sean by my side.
Sean stood, his expression sharpening with determination. “Let’s go get ourselves some answers.”
My heart was pounding so hard, I thought it might burst out of my chest. Adrenaline, guilt, and what felt like twenty-five other emotions swirled around in my stomach, making it hard to think straight.
What the hell am I doing?
Portaling into my boyfriend’s loft without him knowing, to search through his things? I was definitely crossing a boundary. Or twenty.
Sean was surprisingly calm through the whole ordeal. As if breaking and entering into a First Offensive’s loft was daily routine for the guy.
He was already busy searching, moving from piece to piece of furniture, methodically going through everything in sight.
I on the other hand, stood frozen in the middle of James’s living room.
With a casual flick of his wrist, Sean translated some sort of emerald searching haze, which drifted through the air and led him straight to James’s seemingly ordinary desk.
But after a thorough inspection, Sean frowned. “Nothin’ out of the ordinary,” he mumbled, undeniably disappointed. His gaze wandered, and then they landed on the glass pane hanging by the wall. He cocked his head, and a thoughtful look crossed his face.
“Ye know,” he began, almost as if talking to himself, “the first time I came here, I thought it was odd a guy like James had a looking glass hangin’ in his living room.”
I remained frozen, unable to shake this overwhelming sense of wrongfulness. What the hell was I even doing?
Sean got up from the desk and moved toward the reflective surface, inspecting it closely. Then, with a sly grin, he turned to me. “This mirror’s stuck to the wall tighter than anythin’. That’s a bit weird, don’t ye think?”
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. “Uhm…yeah,” I managed to say, though I wasn’t sure what else to add. Every part of me screamed to get out, but I couldn’t back out now.
Sean mumbled something under his breath, translating a few things I couldn’t quite catch. Then, suddenly, he grinned. “Aha!” His hand reached through the glass like it wasn’t even there. “That little shit. He hid a red portal in here.”
I blinked. “He did?”
“Sure did. This is a standing portal. A small one, though. But I’d bet ye anythin’ it leads somewhere important.”
Without hesitation, Sean stuck his entire arm through the hidden gateway, fishing around for a moment. Then he pulled back, revealing a file clutched in his hand.
“There are more than only this one,” he said, flipping through the documents quickly. “But let’s start with this.”
I watched as Sean scanned the pages with a furrowed brow, every second that passed making the weight in my chest heavier.
“So?” I asked, the question hanging in the room, sounding more desperate than I intended.
Sean shook his head slowly, a look of disappointment flashing across his face. “It’s just a bunch of strategy notes. War-time tactics for Offensives. Nothing that would explain anythin’ we’re looking for.”
My heart sank as I ran a hand through my hair, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions building inside me. This was pointless. If James knew anything important about me, he would’ve told me. What the hell was I doing?
Sean tossed the folder onto the table with a huff. “All right, let’s see what else he’s hidin’.”
He reached back through the mirror, his arm disappearing again as he fished around. A moment later, he pulled out another file and a thick, old book.
“Here we go,” he said, then flipped through the contents quickly. “This one’s… Crap, more war tactics. It’s all fighting strategies.”
I sighed, and the hope started to drain from me. “And the book?” I asked, though my tone had lost its edge. The disgrace of rifling through James’s things was starting to crush me. This was so wrong. I shouldn’t be here.
Sean opened the book and skimmed through a few pages. “Same stuff. How to engage in conflict, ways to counter certain techniques. Nothin’ relevant.”
I slumped into the nearest chair, my head in my hands. “This is insane,” I muttered. “We shouldn’t be doing this. What if James finds out? What if there’s nothing here?” The self-reproach was gnawing at me, sinking its claws in deeper every second we stayed in his loft.
Sean turned to me, his features softening. “Emma, we’re gonna find somethin’. I can feel it. Hang in there.”
But I couldn’t shake the sense this was a mistake.
Every moment we spent here was a huge betrayal of James’s trust. One he didn’t deserve!
Shit, maybe invading his privacy like this, could be even a dealbreaker for him.
If he found out… My mind was racing, the fear of losing him making it suddenly hard to breathe.
Right as I was about to tell Sean to stop, he pulled out a new file, different from the others. The papers inside were old, yellowed with age and worn at the edges. It looked like it hadn’t been touched in years.
“Hold on,” Sean said, his voice quieter now, more focused. He carefully pulled the pages from the portal, his eyes narrowing as he opened it.
“What is it?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest again, this time for a different reason.
“These papers. They’re old,” he said, laying them out on the table between us.
“What’s this?” he asked, as he studied a specific page.
“It’s a transcript from a meeting between the Board, the United Chiefs and the Elder, back in ’62.
” He skimmed the content, his frown deepening.
“Most of it is illegible, but something’s off here. ”
I moved closer, peering over his shoulder. “What do you mean?”
He pointed to a section of the transcript, his finger tracing the faded words. “It’s about the Battle of ‘59. It looks like humans were involved. Not only magi.”
I blinked, my brain struggling to catch up. “Wait—what?” The words felt barely real as they left my mouth. “I thought the war was magi fighting other magi over whether humans should know about us.”
Sean didn’t look up. “That’s what we’ve always been told,” he whispered. His fingers moved faster now, flipping through more pages like he could force the truth to reveal itself if he just turned them quickly enough.
A pit formed in my stomach. “Sean,” I pressed, dreading whatever came next.
He exhaled sharply, then rubbed a hand over his face before finally meeting my eyes. “If this transcript’s right, it wasn’t magi vs. magi. It might’ve been magi vs. humans.”
The room felt instantly smaller. I shook my head, my mind rejecting the possibility even as it clawed its way into my thoughts. “That doesn’t make sense.” My voice was thinner now, unsteady. “What would humans and magi fight about? Why would anyone lie about it?”
Sean’s jaw tightened. “That’s the question, isn’t it?”
I thought back to what Jackson had told me last year. “Jackson told me magi fought magi because one side wanted to reveal our existence to the Human World, and the other side didn’t. But if humans were actually involved, does that mean they already knew? If they did, that changes everything!”
Sean nodded grimly. “Yeah, it does. And it also means we don’t have the whole story. It means maybe the Elder’s been hiding more than we thought, and not only him if James has these.”
“Fucking Julian,” I mumbled under my breath, the name alone igniting a familiar surge of anger.
Sean glanced up from the papers, a flicker of curiosity lighting his face. “You still don’t want to tell me why you’re so angry with the Elder?”
I swallowed hard, the bitterness rising in my throat. “I’m not ready yet.”
He gave me a small, understanding smile. “That’s fine. Whenever you are, I’m here.”
Grateful for his support, I squeezed his arm, the warmth of his presence anchoring me. Sometimes, having someone who didn’t push too hard made quite the difference.
We shifted through the documents in silence for a while, both of us lost in thought.
As I reached for another folder, something caught my eye—a date. I paused, squinting at the paper.
“Sean, look at this.” I handed him the document. “It’s a record of Dale’s abduction in Antwerp, three years ago.”
He scanned the page, his brows furrowing. “That’s the same day James told you about? When he saved Dale?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, unsettled. “But look at this.” I pointed to a second document, hidden beneath the first. “It says both James and Jackson had clearance to be there that day.”
Sean stilled, his eyes narrowing. “Jackson? He was there too?”
I nodded, my heart racing. “James never mentioned it. He told me he saved Dale from some dark shit, but he never said Jackson was involved.”
Sean frowned, leaning closer. “Why would it be a secret?”
I cracked my knuckles, feeling more confused than ever. “Hell if I know.”
Sean fell silent as he processed the information. After a long pause, he looked up at me. “Do we tell them we found this?”
I hesitated, the truth of the discovery settling over me like a shadow creeping in. Whatever it was, it meant James had definitely kept some stuff from me. “No,” I said slowly. “Not yet. We don’t know enough, and I don’t want to bring this up without more intel.”
Sean nodded, closing the folder carefully, his demeanor shifting to match my cautiousness. “All right. We’ll keep this between us for now. But we’ll need to dig deeper.”
Right as Sean carefully slid the old folder back onto the table, the atmosphere in the room shifted. The temperature dropped, and before either of us could react, I heard the unmistakable sound of the portal crackling to life.
I froze. My heart pounded in my chest as the portal shimmered open, and within seconds, James stepped through.