Chapter 38 #2
Her gaze lifted to meet mine, and when I saw the unshed tears glistening, I nearly recoiled. Those crystalline drops threatened to unravel something inside me, a feeling so visceral it clenched around my ribs like a vice.
A new kind of fury—one I had never felt before—unfurled in my chest, dark and almost primal. A silent promise took shape in my mind, a vow to obliterate every single person responsible for putting any kind of pain in her eyes. Including the undeserving bastard she was still hell-bent on defending.
“I needed his trust,” she admitted softly. “But I got his protection instead. Which is fine in a trainer-mentee dynamic—not so much in a romantic one.”
My jaw tightened, as her obvious pain stirred the hidden darkness inside me. “Want me to kill him?”
A choked laugh escaped her, the sound a strange mix of amusement and sorrow. As the first tear slipped free, I leaned in and caught it with my thumb, my hand trembling slightly—an involuntary reaction to seeing her so vulnerable.
She shook her head. "I’m actually quite capable of handling situations without resorting to murder."
I arched a brow. "That remains to be seen."
She let out another laugh, this one laced with exhaustion, before the sadness crept back in, dimming the light in her expression.
I couldn’t stand it.
I gripped her chin between my fingers and lifted her face, not roughly, but with enough pressure to demand her attention. I forced her to meet my eyes, to see the unshakable resolve burning in them. "I will end him," I vowed, my voice low, lethal. "With pleasure. The second you ask me to."
Her fingers curled around my own, a soft squeeze—warm, steady, grounding.
"I believe you," she whispered.
And then… Then she leaned in, barely, her body brushing against mine for the barest of moments before she pulled away.
It wasn’t a hug. It wasn’t even a conscious movement.
But it hit me like a fucking wildfire.
Because that single, fleeting gesture told me something far more important than words ever could—after everything we’d been through, she felt safe enough to be close to me.
She trusted me.
Which shook me to my very core.
And I would make damn sure I didn’t make the same mistake as the asshole who broke her.
When Sean and I were children, there was one hill we weren’t allowed to climb. The weather often created dangerous mudslides, and our parents had strict rules to keep us safe.
Obviously, it became our daily hangout spot.
One afternoon, I took Emma there and told her how ignoring rules was what first bonded Sean and me. I recounted our wild adventures, each one more ridiculous than the last.
Like the time we enchanted the castle doors to open only if you gave them a heartfelt reason why you deserved entry. Sean talked for twenty minutes and got in. I said, “because I’m me” and got blasted across the field.
Emma nearly choked laughing when I told her about the time Sean and I thought it would be brilliant to light the stables for a midnight race using floating flame orbs.
“What we had forgotten—entirely—was how flammable hay is. The moment the first orb lit, the flames jumped to the beams, then the hay, then…well. Luckily, the horses were fine. The stable? Less so. And of course, the west library caught a bit of it too.”
“Did the library survive?” she asked, still wheezing.
“It suffered from some smoke damage,” I said, wincing slightly at the memory. “Turns out, books are also pretty flammable when you fling a burning saddle through a window.”
“Which is why,” I added with a smirk, “I dedicated myself to restoring the entire estate.”
She stared at me, wide-eyed. “So you picked this castle to live in…because you once set it on fire?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t burn the whole thing down—just…one of the smaller wings.”
She broke into one of those devastatingly gorgeous smiles. “You, Mister Colt, are an absolute menace.”
I flashed a proud grin. “Always have been, always will be.”
Our playful exchange was abruptly cut short when Sean portaled in, snapping us back to the present.
“What is it?” I asked, noticing the serious look on Sean’s face.
“I got some news from Cyclos,” Sean replied, his tone grave.
At the mention of her home-Collective, Emma, sitting next to me, stiffened, and I sensed the instant anxiety radiating from her.
“How?”
“Jackson nexed me.”
“Jackson Lau?” My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Why would he contact you?”
I watched in amusement as Sean’s cheeks started to flush. It was rare to see my best friend flustered.
“Well, uhm…” he stammered, muttering a string of barely audible words under his breath.
A grin tugged at the corners of my mouth as I watched him struggle. “Really? Jackson?” I teased, unable to resist.
Emma elbowed me, a not so subtle reminder to behave.
“And pray tell, what did our dark and brooding Orator from Cyclos have to say?” I asked, my tone light.
Sean’s eyes flitted to Emma, and I noticed a flicker of sympathy in his gaze. My chest tightened. What now? I instinctively moved a bit closer to Emma, as if to shield her from whatever news was coming.
"It’s about James," Sean began softly.
At the mention of his name, Emma visibly shivered, and my jaw locked as fury rose, quiet and cold. That bastard had hurt her more than I ever wanted her to be.
“What about him?” I asked, my voice carrying a sharp edge I didn’t bother softening.
Sean hesitated for a beat before announcing it. “Maria stepped down as Leader. James has been officially inaugurated.”
My gaze snapped to Emma. Her face had gone pale, her fingers twitching at her sides.
Fuck.
I exhaled through my nose, biting down on the urge to say something she didn’t need to hear right now. Instead, I turned my focus back to Sean.
“So what does that mean exactly?”
Sean cleared his throat. “It means James will begin his diplomatic tour, presenting himself to the other Collectives. It means his ruse is taking off. It means…”
“He’s about to destroy the first LiaPrism,” I finished for him, the gravity of the situation sinking in.
Sean nodded. “It’s starting.”
“How many LiaPrisms are there?” Emma asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“As many as there are Collectives. A lot.”
I sighed, feeling the pressure of the task ahead.
“We’ll need to coordinate with him. See what he needs.
James never even wanted to include his own Council in the mission, so aside from Maria and Jackson, he has no backup.
No one at Cyclos knows about his real assignment.
If he needs our assistance, he can count on Crown’s Offensives. ”
“Does that mean…” Emma’s words trailed off, her face paling again, “we’ll need to work with him?”
Without thinking, I reached for her hand and squeezed. A small, grounding gesture.
She looked up at me, something raw flashing across her face, something making my chest ache in a way I fucking hated.
I wanted to burn the world down to erase that pain.
“We’ll keep you as far away from him as we possibly can,” I murmured, my voice low. “You won’t have to see him until you’re ready.”
She nodded, a flicker of gratitude softening her features, hitting me harder than it should have.
When I glanced back at Sean, I found him watching me. Expression unreadable. But his focus was sharp—piercing, almost clinical.
“What?” I snapped, irritated by the scrutiny.
He blinked, then shook his head. “Nothing. Only observing.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Nothing to see here, Sean.”
His lips thinned, but he didn’t push it.
I turned back to both of them, shifting gears. “I’ll coordinate with Cyclos in the upcoming weeks. We strategize as we go.”
We rose to our feet and opened a portal back to Caerleon Manor. Emma quickly jumped through, but right as I was about to do the same, Sean grabbed my arm.
“Ye wanna enlighten me here, Colt?”
“About?” I replied, not caring for his hostile tone.
Sean watched me for a beat, then said, “Caden, yer my best friend, but that girl has seen enough misery to last a lifetime.”
I shrugged him off. “I’m not disputing that. What’s your problem?”
“What’s going on between the two of ye?”
“Nothing,” I spat.
Sean snorted. “Could’ve fooled me, with the hand-holding and the insane promises.”
I gritted my teeth. “What insane promises?”
“Oh, Emma, ye won’t have to see James until yer ready. And when ye are, we’ll have pink ponies in high heels accompanying ye,” Sean mocked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
I threw him a look and shook my head at the dramatics. “I’ll figure it out.”
Sean squinted at me. “Do ye have feelings for her?”
“What?” I laughed, though it sounded hollow even to me. “Are you crazy?”
“Are you?” he hissed. “What the hell are ye doing?”
“I’m being her friend,” I replied through clenched teeth.
“No, I am being her friend. Yer flirting with her. Yer wooing her.”
“I am not wooing her,” I grumbled, sensing the heat rise to my face.
“Do you want to be her baby-daddy? Is that it?”
I snorted derisively.
“Because let me ask you this,” he continued undisturbed, “did you see a father in the picture when you and Stephen visited the future?”
I frowned. I hadn’t.
“Now let me ask ye, if ye had a son, knowing he was fighting Trackers left and right alone, wouldn’t ye do everything in yer power to help him?”
I kept silent, unsure where he was going with this.
“So if yer not in the picture, what do ye think it means?”
The realization hit me. “I’m either not the father, or I’m…”
“Dead. Yes. Not such a bright future for ye two anymore, is there?”
“Emma’s not in the picture either,” I replied in a low voice.
“So?”
“So? So, what happened to her? Is she dead too?”
Sean stilled, his expression tightening. “Maybe. I don’t know. But it’s not what matters right now.”
“Oh, I disagree. I think it’s pretty much all that matters. Because if she and I are dead in the future—”
“Fuck, Caden, I knew it!” he interjected. “Yer counting on becoming the father!”
I didn’t want to lie to my best friend.
The thought had crossed my mind, especially since I wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea of its creation.
I had been picturing Emma and me together for weeks now, while fisting my dick at night. But that’s all it was—massive sexual attraction to a gorgeous woman.
“It’s only physical,” I mumbled, but even I wasn’t convinced.
Sean shook his head. “I don’t think that’s true, but whatever. Just keep it to yourself, will ye? She’s not over James and—”
“I know that,” I snarled, while ignoring the pang of frustration.
“Good! It’s good you know because let me tell ye right now, the last thing that amazing woman needs is a battle between baby-daddies.”
I stared my friend dead in the eyes, knowing he was right.
That night, as I lay in bed, the truth of my conversation with Sean began to settle in. Reflecting on everything we discussed about Emma, I realized something had changed within me.
Somewhere along the way, a new, unfamiliar feeling had started to grow—something I knew, deep down, could never be altered, and would never be reciprocated.