16
Rhett
With apprehension, Rhett knocked on her sister’s front door, eyeing up the colourful display of flowers in the window boxes whilst she waited.
Vivien opened the door, out of breath and looking flustered. ‘Oh, hello.’
‘Am I interrupting?’
‘No, come in. I was just upstairs packing, or rather, fighting with a suitcase.’
Rhett entered the living room, feeling uncomfortable already. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Vivien’s smile lit up her whole face. ‘Scotland, with Finn. We’re going to Honeydale.’
Why not? It’s not as if your life has problems.
Rhett mentally chastised herself at her own bitterness. She needed to get over the resentment lurking inside her. ‘I want to talk to you.’
‘Sure.’ Vivien gestured towards the settee. ‘Sit down.’
Talking seemed like a good idea when Rhett was walking across the field towards her sister’s house, but now she wasn’t so sure.
Oh, just get on with it.
‘I’m here to apologise to you, Viv. I shouldn’t have told you.’
‘Actually, you should have told me years ago.’
‘I promised Mum.’
Vivien leaned further into the settee, crossing her legs and arms. ‘I had a right to know.’
‘Oh, please! Haven’t you noticed? We may have been raised by the same parents, but we lived two separate lives. Yours didn’t include a suicidal mother. You didn’t even know your own dad was a narcissist. He certainly manipulated you.’
‘I thought you came here to apologise. Seems to me you’re still being spiteful.’
Rhett sighed deeply, stopping herself from shaking her head in annoyance. ‘I’m not picking on you. I just need you to know it wasn’t all moonbeams and rainbows in our house.’
‘I know that. Despite what you think, I did notice things. A lot may have been kept from my eyes, but I know we didn’t have a family life like the Silvers. I just thought our parents were more reserved.’
‘And what about when Mum could hardly stand?’
Vivien shrugged slightly and lowered her gaze to her lap. ‘I figured she’d had too much wine at dinner. Let’s face it, she liked her wine.’
‘Yes, to block out her misery. He did nothing but torment her, and I had to keep clearing up the mess. Viv, our dad was a master manipulator. Everything he did had an agenda, and the only reason he left you alone was because he didn’t need anyone else to feed off. He was kept full by draining me and Mum.’
Vivien leaned a touch closer, twiddling her fingers around the sleeve of Finn’s red sweatshirt flopped over the back of the settee. ‘I’m sorry for whatever he did to you, and while I don’t appreciate the way you spat the truth at me, I’m glad I know now. You didn’t need to come here to say sorry.’
‘I’m sorry for how I told you. I still don’t know why I did after all this time. I don’t know why I told Heath the truth about our wedding day.’ She shook her head at herself and slumped back. ‘I don’t know what’s happening to me lately. I feel as though I’m cracking up or something. Is thirty-nine too early for a midlife crisis?’ She breathed out a small laugh as she stared at her feet.
‘I think everyone reaches a point where they need to get things off their chest. We just don’t know when that time will come. It seems to have a mind of its own.’
The two sisters shared a genuine smile.
‘Look, Rhett, when I finally admitted my ex was abusing me, it was a relief in a way. It gave me back my power, and I felt free. Not going to lie to you, I’m still in healing mode, but life is so much better now I’m away from him. With you, your demons aren’t here anymore because they died years ago. You just have to find a way to heal now.’
‘Ten years he’s been gone, but it’s like he still controls me.’
And I want someone to make it go away.
‘Rhett, he can’t hurt you anymore unless you let him. That’s how I have to think each time I’m triggered by something Brody did to me. Wounds don’t heal overnight, and some scars remain forever, but we still get a choice about how we live today. Brody destroyed me mentally more than anything else, but that was my past. There is no way I’m letting him take charge of my here and now. He’s not ruining what I have with Finn, my business being rebuilt, or stopping me from smiling again, enjoying my life.’
‘I’ve lived this way for so long, I’m just stuck in the habit.’
Vivien nodded and shuffled to her sister’s side. ‘Yeah, that’s how I felt for years with Brody. You reach a point where you stop seeing a future, but something didn’t die, because one day I just changed my mind. Something simply told me I had a choice, that I didn’t have to continue to live that way. You can do the same. In fact, I think you’re already at that stage.’
‘Maybe.’
‘I heard what Heath is doing to our house, and I think it’s great.’ Vivien lightly tapped Rhett’s hand and smiled. ‘You’re on the right track now, sis.’
Rhett cleared her throat and swallowed hard. ‘Erm, I’m clearing out their stuff. I’ve decided I don’t want anything, so if you do, come over and sort through before you head off. I won’t want it there for long.’
‘I’ve got a few trinkets of Mum’s already. I don’t need anything else.’ Vivien placed both hands over her heart, taking Finn’s sweatshirt along for the ride. ‘Mum’s in here. I don’t need items to make me feel close to her, and now I know about Dad, well, I don’t want anything of his.’ She sighed quietly. ‘You know, he’s been gone years and not once did I ever think about removing any of his belongings from our house.’
‘Nor me. I just had that moment where I cracked up and started tossing things in the skip. Seeing that giant bin inspired me.’
Vivien giggled. ‘I shouldn’t laugh, it’s all such a mess.’
‘You should laugh. You’ve had a crap year, and I went and made things worse for you, so laugh away.’
‘It hasn’t all been bad. I got together with Finn, after all.’
Rhett watched her sister beam with happiness, and suddenly a whole heap of bitterness washed away. ‘He was always the one for you. I’m surprised it took you so long to notice.’
‘Oh, he was my best friend. Maybe I had such low self-worth, I attracted someone horrible like Brody. Perhaps my childhood did have something to do with it and I didn’t notice. I don’t know. I’m just glad I’m with Finn now. Everything with him is so easy.’
‘As soon as I starting dating Heath, I had my future all mapped out.’
Vivien quietly clapped her hands. ‘Ooh, do tell.’
‘Ah, what’s the point now?’
‘You could still have a future with him, Rhett. He’s always there for you. I know he loves you.’
‘How would you know that?’
Vivien jumped up and waved Rhett towards the kitchen, giggling along the way. ‘Come and have lunch with me.’
Rhett quickly followed. ‘Tell me.’
The fridge door opened, closed, the kettle was switched on, then Vivien turned on the radio.
‘Viv, stop messing about.’ Rhett folded her arms in a huff as she plonked herself down onto a chair. ‘I’ll not eat one bite if you keep winding me up.’
‘Fine.’ Vivien leaned over the table. ‘I shouldn’t have to say. You’ve got eyes. Just notice the way he looks at you, then you’ll see for yourself. The man has never stopped loving you, even Finn can see it.’
‘People around here see what they want to see because they want us to be together, always have done.’
Vivien lost her smile as she sat. ‘Why aren’t you with him?’
Rhett shrugged. ‘It’s a bit late now, isn’t it?’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes. Our past is water under the bridge, we found a way to co-parent all these years, and we get along a lot better when we hardly see each other. That’s how it’s always been.’
‘Doesn’t mean that’s how it has to stay.’
‘Why are you so interested in my love life anyway?’
Vivien’s shoulders drooped slightly along with her mouth. ‘I’ve always been interested in you. You just never noticed me paying attention. Growing up, you were my hero. I wished so hard I was as strong and tough as you. Sometimes when Brody would start on me, I’d think what would you do? Well, I knew what you would have done, but I couldn’t bring myself to become you. I always wanted to be you though.’
Rhett laughed out loud, not meaning to. It was a statement that blew her away. ‘I always wanted to be you. I guess we’ve both learned it’s best to be ourselves rather than try to become what we’re not. Everyone’s battling something, so no point wanting to walk in their shoes.’
‘Yes, no offence, but now I see the struggle you go through with Heath, I’m glad I’m not you. Life with Finn is so relaxing, well, apart from when he’s off doing RNLI duties in a storm.’
‘Heath’s hardly had any time for the RNLI since he’s been renovating our house. He really is putting in the hours.’
Vivien slid the half-cut crusty bread across the table. ‘Hmm, I wonder why.’
Heath’s dark eyes came to mind as Vivien went about fetching butter, cheese, and salad to the table, amongst other bits and bobs.
They are warm when they look my way. Mostly. I think. Oh, great! Now I won’t be able to look at him without studying his eyes.