18 Hawk’s Truth
Hawk's Truth
THE LAST THING Silverfin had expected when he'd capsized his sister's boat was to come face to face with the man he both wanted to see most and least in the world.
Hawk. The man who'd ripped out his heart and stomped on it. Hawk was here, in front of him.
In a panic, Silverfin darted back, surfacing with a panicked wail. "Mara!"
"You fucking arsehole!" Roxanne O'Toole breached the surface, sputtering. She ignored the capsized boat and hauled herself up onto the rocks, grabbing her sodden hat from the waves and plopping it back onto her head.
Frowning, Mara shoved at the capsized boat, carefully turning it back over in the water. "That's the last time I try and help you."
"Help me? What were you thinking, bringing him here?" Silverfin scooted back more, glaring at Hawk through a canopy of wet lashes.
"Him? The man you loved enough to give up the sea for? Gods forbid."
"Well in case you haven't noticed, he doesn't exactly love me!"
"And that's what you think, do you?"
"Of course that's what I think! I mean - I know! I don't want to see him, I don't want to have anything to do with him, so take your boat and your angry redheads the hell back to Port Royal before I -”
"I'm sorry."
Hawk's voice, though uncharacteristically soft, was enough to stop Silverfin's words in his throat. He looked to where Hawk was treading water. "You... are?"
"I am. Don't be angry at Mara. She's only here because I asked her to help me find you. I..." He stopped, turning in the water with a sigh and starting to kick as gracelessly as only a biped would towards the rocks.
"I realize I've been a fool, and I'm sorry for the pain I’ve caused you,” he said, pushing himself out of the water and clambering up onto the rocky surface.
“You offered me so much, Silver, and I couldn't see it.
I spurned it because I was afraid to trust you.
I was afraid to admit how much you meant to me.
Please forgive me for realizing this too late. "
"Too late?" Heart pounding, Silverfin swam after him. "What do you mean too late? Are you ill? Injured? Are you dying?"
Hawk gave a soft snort, settling on the edge of a rock with his legs dangling in the water. "No. But you've left, haven't you? You're... how you were meant to be."
Silverfin shook his head, tears burning at his eyes.
He grabbed the rock on either side of Hawk's thighs, pulling himself up out of the water to press a trembling kiss to the pirate’s mouth.
Hawk let out a soft, desperate noise against his lips, and suddenly his arms were tight around Silverfin, pulling him close, thighs wrapped around his tail.
"Forgive me," Hawk gasped between trembling kisses. "I need you. Come back to me, I'll do anything. I'll give anything. Please..."
"All you had to do was ask," Silverfin replied, throat tight and aching with love.
"Well... ain’t this queer," Xanne muttered.
Perched next to her, Mara gathered her sodden skirts and attempted to wring them out. "I'm afraid my brother isn't always the most pragmatic of Mers," she replied.
Silverfin sank back into the water, nuzzling his face into Hawk's thigh. "Hey!"
"Well, it's true! You went off in a huff and undid Mami Wata's spell and now what do you expect to do? Spend the rest of your life in a bathtub in Hawk's cabin?"
"If I have to," Silverfin replied with a pronounced pout.
“You ain’t even got your fuck stick no more,” Xanne smirked.
"If you think I love him solely for what is - was - between his legs, you're sorely mistaken!" Hawk replied with indignation.
Silverfin perked up, eyes shining as he looked up at Hawk. "Really?"
Hawk nodded sadly, stroking a wet strand of his hair back from his face. "Of course, little pet. But isn't there anything we can do? I don’t want you to be miserable. I don't want to see you caged in a tub just to be near me. Or worse! Someone could see you and take you from me."
Silverfin sighed, clasping one of Hawk's hands in his and nuzzling his fingers. "I don't see what can be done. Mami Wata must be furious with me."
"And quite unlikely to allow you back onto land with that tail," Mara pointed out, far too pragmatically. "You are too much of a danger to Merkind. What would men do if they knew we were real?"
“Dissect, maybe eat ya,” Xanne offered, chewing calmly on a twig of seaweed. “Though you don’t taste much like fish, do you?” she winked at Mara, who blushed visibly.
"Ew." Silverfin wrinkled his nose. "Who asked for your opinion!"
"For goodness sakes!" Mara said, still flushed. "Just go ask Mami Wata what it would take to get your goddamn legs back! If she hasn't killed you by now she's not about to, and the worst she can do is say no!"
“You ask her! She’s likely to turn me into a tadpole at this rate! Or worse - ask for all my hair again!”
"We'll all ask her," Hawk said firmly. "Ah... somehow..."
Sighing, Mara stood, turning her back to Xanne and lifting up her wet hair. "Would you please unlace me?"
"What? What for?" Xanne's hands went obediently to the laces of her dress anyway.
"It appears I must go for a dive, and I cannot do that in this dress."
Xanne's hands stopped halfway down her back. "No way. You'll drown!"
Mara chuckled softly, lifting her hair higher and twisting it up off the back of her neck and exposing her gills. "Do not worry about that, ma chère. I have not lost all of the Mer that I once was."
"How the fuck have I never seen those before?"
Hawk's eyebrows knit as he pulled Silverfin's hair off his neck to stare at his gills. "What? Did you have those before?"
"Of course I did! How else do you think I rescued you when the Orca wrecked?"
"You're both daft," Mara agreed with a smile, turning and leaning in to press an affectionate kiss to Xanne's nose. Then she stepped out of her dress, tossing it into the bottom of the longboat with a sodden plop. "Wait here for me," she said, and jumped off the rocks to dive beneath the waves.
Watching her leave, Xanne glanced at Silverfin and snorted, going back to wringing out her clothes.
Ordinarily Silverfin would have felt insulted, but he was too happy to have Hawk back again to think twice about it.
He pressed a kiss to Hawk's knuckles, looking up at him. "If we can't be together..."
"We'll find a way," Hawk reassured him.
"But if we can't..." Silverfin hesitated. "There's something I want you to have. Will you wait here for me? I won't be a minute."
Hawk hesitated before nodding, stroking Silverfin’s hair with a gentle caress of his fingers. "Just as long as you come back." The look the captain was giving Silverfin, so full of softness and hope, melted the last dark recesses of his amphibian heart.
"Always." Silverfin arched out of the water again as Hawk leaned down to kiss him. Then, he dove down under the waves, hurrying back to his grotto.
He'd felt a fool when he'd started weaving the pearls. He'd tried to tell himself that he was only doing it to attempt to be rid of his feelings for Hawk once and for all, to accept the heartbreak and move on. But he knew in his heart that he'd done it in hopes of this very moment.
He clutched the crown to his chest as he swam back, breaching the surface and making his way to where Hawk still perched on the edge of the rocks.
"Mara says that bipeds - that humans - don't do this," he started, nervousness making his stomach do flips.
"But it's very important to us. It means...
it means that you are my intended... my everything.
And you always will be, no matter what is to happen.
So..." He held the crown out with both hands outstretched.
"I hope you will wear it for me, even just for a little while? "
Wordlessly Hawk leaned forward, bending his head, his russet hair reflecting in a streak of red in the azure waves.
Silverfin drew a trembling breath, heart aching with happiness, and carefully tucked the crown into place, noting with satisfaction that it fit around Hawk's head perfectly.
He pressed a kiss to Hawk's forehead and breathed, "You've made me so happy, Samuel. "
"I promise I will keep it and treasure it forever," Hawk murmured, ignoring the gagging noises coming from Xanne's side of the island. He slid off the rock and back onto the water to pull Silverfin into a warm kiss. "No matter what happens."
Silverfin closed his eyes with a little happy moan, melting into the warmth of Hawk's kisses. But his bliss was interrupted by the sound of a crab clearing his throat.
"My Honored Lord."
Silverfin's arms tightened around Hawk's waist. "I'm busy kissing my Pirate King," he growled against Hawk's mouth, and felt Hawk laugh happily.
"What are you talking about, darling?"
"So you are," Lord Scarletclaw continued, ignoring Hawk. "But you are also summoned. Unless you don't care about Mami Wata’s commands anymore?"
Silverfin's heart jumped into his throat. He kept one arm tightly around Hawk as he turned to look at Lord Scarletclaw. "I won't leave him."
"Fortunately he is also summoned. You are to meet with Mami Wata and the Lady Maraxilla in the Cavern of the Hidden Pearl. Immediately."
Silverfin bit his lip as he looked up at Hawk. "Will you come with me?"
"Of course. Ah... where?"
"The Cavern of the Hidden Pearl. Mami Wata is waiting for us."
Xanne snorted, picking her way back over the rocks towards the boat. "Oh, sure. Hidden Pearl. Ain't that a brothel in Tortuga? Taking orders from crabs. Woman I’m fucking has goddamn gills. Wait 'til Alex gets a load of today!”
Silverfin rescued one of the longboat oars from the water, bringing it back to the boat as Hawk and Xanne climbed in. "Follow me," he said, hoping he wasn't leading his lover to both their dooms. Oh, and his sister’s lover, somehow, too.