Chapter 32Staten Kirkland
Chapter 32
Growing Up
Staten Kirkland
S taten sank onto the sofa in the little cottage, letting the smooth brown leather cool his skin. Granny and Gramps had gone to bed hours ago. Staten knew he should do the same. He had a long day of work ahead of him in the morning. He needed rest. His head pounded, his face ached, and his whole body was sore, but he was smiling.
Over forty neighbors and friends had shown up for his birthday. They’d toasted to him. Swapped stories with him. Shared scars with him. Supported and encouraged him taking over the Double K Ranch. He may have lived in Crossroads all of his life, but he’d never felt more like he belonged as he had that night.
Samuel hadn’t made it, but that was no surprise. Staten couldn’t remember the last time his father had been around for one of his birthdays. His son turning twenty wasn’t newsworthy enough for the tabloids.
And, of course, Amalah hadn’t shown up either. And while he did miss her, surprisingly, it hadn’t ruined his day as much as he’d expected. In fact, it had been a really great night.
The phone in the kitchen rang, and Staten jumped up to answer it before it woke his grandfolks. Who would be calling at this time of night? In seconds he was wide-awake, adrenaline pumping.
“Hello, Staten here.”
“Staten?” Amalah’s voice sounded panicky.
“Amalah, are you okay? What happened? What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine. I know it’s late, but I knew you’d still be up. I wanted to tell you happy birthday again before you went to bed.” Her voice was so low, he guessed she was whispering.
Relief hit him like a freight train and he suddenly felt more exhausted than he had in weeks. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Her soft laugh soothed him like a balm. “I was a little hysterical earlier, but I feel better now.”
“Does that mean you’re coming home tomorrow?”
Her second of hesitation answered everything for her. He spoke before she could. “It’s okay. Forget I asked. I’m sure you’re busy up there.”
“Staten, I . . .”
She paused, seeming to search for words, and in that one moment, Staten saw things more clearly than he ever had. Her life was in Lubbock at Texas Tech. It might not be that way forever, but it was right now. And Staten’s world had become the ranch and Crossroads.
He loved the Double K with every fiber of his being. It was a part of him. His family’s legacy. Like his gramps always said, the dirt of Ransom Canyon was in his blood. He’d never give it up. Not for anyone.
And he didn’t want Amalah to abandon her dreams and new life for him either. He knew she didn’t want to, and she shouldn’t have to.
Staten felt a tear slide down his cheek as he steeled himself for what he knew he needed to do.
“Ama.” He stopped her as she started to speak. “It’s okay. Stay there. Do what you need to do. Live your life. It sounds exciting and busy, just like you always wanted.”
Her voice broke. “Staten, what? That’s not what I meant.”
“I just want you to be happy. I don’t want to add to your stress. It’s not fair of me. And I can’t give you the support and help you need right now either. The ranch takes up all my time. All my energy.”
A sob ripped through the phone. “What are you saying?”
Tears streamed from his eyes, but Staten held his voice firm. “You deserve someone who’s going to be there with you. Everyday. Someone who can lighten your load, not add to it. So . . .”
“Staten, stop. I don’t want this.”
“I think we should take a break, Ama. That way you can focus on all the things you have to do at Tech without me pressuring you to come home.”
He nearly took the words back as Amalah cried over the phone. “You don’t bother me, Staten. I want to come home. I just haven’t had the time.”
“I know you haven’t, and that’s okay.” He gripped the phone so hard he thought it would break. “I love you, Ama. And I’ll always be here if you decide to come back. But for now, go live your life. I don’t want to hold you back.”
“But, Staten, I love you.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.
“And I love you, Ama. I always will, but things have changed. I’m not going back to Tech. That dream is dead. We have to grow up and move on.”
She hung up without another word, and the click of the phone call ending echoed through his head.
A sob rippled through his chest, but he wouldn’t let it out. He punched the wall next to the receiver. He hated change. He always had. But Staten knew he’d done the right thing. Amalah deserved to be happy. To live her dreams. Even if that meant he wasn’t a part of them.