15. Dutton
Dutton
“ O h fuck. Yes,” I pant as Walker rubs the bulge through the denim of my jeans. We just barely got through the door of my house, and we were all over each other. I loved hanging out with his friends—they made me feel so welcome—but this? Yeah, this is my favorite part of the night.
I kind of fell apart earlier today when I was telling my dad about this place and all the fun I was having. I’m not sure how much it had hit me yet that I did want to stay here until he told me it sounded like that’s what I wanted. But I really want to stay.
Tonight all but solidified that. Yes, I have friends back in California, but not like these friends. There’s something about this place that calls to me. Something deep inside I think I’ve been missing for a long time.
These friends, they’ll drop anything and come running if you need them. I don’t know how I know that for certain, but I could just feel it. They teased each other like crazy, but you could feel the love there.
I had fun joking and laughing with and at Archie, and he just took it in stride. There’s no doubt that he loves Walker, but it’s brotherly almost. There’s no jealousy there from me because I can just tell that they really truly are family, even though they aren’t related.
And Travis and Oakley, they don’t act like they own the company the others all work for. It’s a family too.
I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that with friends. Hell, I love my parents, but I’m not sure I ever totally felt that with them either. Still, I hold back from saying I want to stay because... there are ghosts here too.
It took a long time for me to comprehend that my grandmother telling me not to come back after finding out I was gay was her problem and not a me problem. That I did nothing wrong, but sometimes, when I’m here and alone, a memory of her will hit me so hard, it takes my breath away.
Good memories.
Good memories that are now soured by ignorance and hatred.
But with Walker... he’s changing it subtly. Replacing bad memories with good. Maybe someday, I’ll be able to have those memories of my grandmother without the bitterness of her betrayal ruining them.
He gets my jeans open as I kick my shoes off and slide my jeans and underwear down, leaving me bare. I kick the clothes away, lifting my shirt off and tossing it somewhere, unwilling to leave the warmth of his mouth for very long.
I open his jeans but take the moment to let my hand feel down over the hard bulge there and yes... the soft silky fabric.
That’s something I’ll never tire of. “What did you wear for me today?” I growl against his lips.
“Take my jeans off and find out.”
Hell. Yes.
He fumbles getting his shoes off as I struggle to push his jeans down, wanting my hands and lips on him constantly but also desperate to see the choice of panties. When his jeans are gone, I see a pair of high-cut, teal lace panties covering his hard cock and heavy balls.
He nearly spills out of them, and it’s the hottest sight I’ve seen since the last time I saw him in a burgundy thong. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” My eyes lift to his face, and my hand reaches up to cup his jaw, rough with stubble. “You are so beautiful.”
He leans in and kisses me. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, Dutton. Inside and out. I’m kind of obsessed with you, if you didn’t know.”
“Uh-oh,” I tease, “Do I need a restraining order?”
“Not yet.” He grins, and I kiss him hard, our bodies thrusting together as my bare cock slides over his that’s covered in the lace. “You know...” he starts, and I can barely focus on his words because I’m so turned-on, but I try to anyway. “I was thinking we’ve been dating for a while now...”
I try to figure out where he’s going with this, but I honestly have no idea. I rut against him, my cock leaking and soaking the panties he’s still wearing. “Uh-huh.”
I feel him smile against my lips, his hand moving to my hips, trying to still my movements, but I’m desperate for him. “I’ve been tested, and I haven’t been with anyone for a while...”
He lets the words hang there, and it finally clicks. I pull back and look into his eyes. “You want to fuck me bare?”
He groans, deep and low in his throat, and now it seems he’s the one with a hard time focusing. “I know I probably shouldn’t say the things I really want to say, but...” He licks his lips nervously, and I suck in a sharp breath because does he mean...? No. I can’t even think it. “But I really care about you, Dutton. You’re it for me, and I want this. But if you’re not comfortable...”
“Oh, I am,” I say quickly, and it’s not just the sex. It’s not just getting to have sex without a condom for the first time in my life because I’ve never been fully committed before, but it’s that connection. It’s getting to share that with him.
Because even if we can’t say it... I think we both feel it.
“Are you sure?” His voice is low, and I can feel his nerves.
I nod, never being more sure of anything in my life. “You’re really it for me too, Walker. I...” I want to say it, my chest aches with the need, but I’m afraid. I haven’t made it official yet—staying here.
I’m afraid this place is too wrapped up in the painful past, but God, I want it. He kisses me hard, saving me from having to stumble through the words when I’m not totally ready. He just seems to get it without me having to say anything.
We go into my bedroom, me fully naked and him still in the panties I love so much, and we take our time with each other. I spend time teasing his hard shaft through the lace, getting him nice and wet before pulling them off and swallowing him down.
He pushes me away when he gets too close, and then his mouth is on me. On my cock, down to my balls before he eats me out so good, I nearly come three times before I’m pleading with him to get inside me.
When he’s lubed up, he pushes inside me, and I feel it. I feel everything. His love for me. Mine for him. The love for the place I never thought I could love again. It’s soft and sweet. It’s making love in the purest form until we both come, him deep inside me and me between our joined bodies.
We’re sweaty and sticky, but I don’t let him move off me. I just cling to him, holding his strong body on top of mine as we come down from the high. I wish I could say the words, but maybe words aren’t all that important.
Maybe my grandmother really was sorry for what she did. Maybe this was her peace offering. And while it’s not enough, maybe I can forgive her for me. Make a life here and be truly happy, like Walker said.
“Will you come to Thanksgiving dinner with me at my parents’?” he asks softly, kissing my neck where his face is currently resting.
“You want me to meet your parents?”
“I do. They want to meet the man who’s so important to me.”
“You’re out to them? Like fully?” I have to ask because I’m nervous.
He pulls back enough to look into my eyes, his shining with understanding and kindness. “They’re good people. They love me, and yes, I’m fully out to my entire family. They just want me to be happy.”
I smile at that and reach up, smoothing my hand over his cheek. “I’m so glad you have that. You deserve that.”
He leans down and presses a soft kiss to my mouth. “So do you. They’re going to love you. I would never bring you there if I didn’t have total confidence in that.”
My heart bursts with excitement. “I can’t wait to meet them.”
He kisses me again, and for the first time in a really long time, I feel content. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.
And while that’s scary, it’s also exciting.