Chapter 5
Five
N erine
I marched through the Drakos mansion’s main hall, feeling my heart thud against my chest as I sensed Theo and Xander’s eyes upon me. Their presence seared into my back, pulling at everything I’d worked so hard to lock away.
All these years, I waited to see, needed to see, just one sign that they hadn’t rolled over when Andraius took over. And now they were here, looking at me with those eyes that knew me too well, making me remember and question everything I’d believed since the day Papa died.
I’d watched them from a distance, caught glimpses of them doing their duties and running Andraius’s empire, but we’d never interacted. Sometimes I’d wondered if they even noticed when I looked in their direction.
Theo’s words echoed in my mind.
Everything we’ve done is to keep you safe.
Had it all been an act?
Andraius had isolated me like a caged bird, determined to keep me away from anyone who could have even the vaguest trace of loyalty to Papa or me.
He kept me trapped and alone.
So fucking alone.
My hands shook as the overwhelming desire to turn around and punch one of them roared through me. They’d let me live with a monster all of these years.
Without so much as a backward glance, I directed, “Please call the car around. I want to go home.”
“Nerine, we can’t leave without Andraius,” Xander informed me in a hushed tone.
“These are your choices, gentlemen. Call the car, or I’ll arrange a ride myself. My spouse is planning to fuck one of his whores tonight. We don’t need his permission to leave. Tick-tock, gentlemen. The rideshare app on my phone is calling my name.”
“When did you become such a brat?” Theo muttered, and I whirled around to face him.
“I’ll answer that question,” I said through clenched teeth, but then closed my eyes to calm my temper.
I couldn’t make a scene here. There were too many people.
“We are waiting for your answer, Mrs. Angelos,” Theo taunted, his tone laced with something that ate away at my ability to hold it together.
With as cool and emotionless a tone as I could muster, I whispered, “When the two men I loved sold me out for an agenda they never saw fit to tell me about.”
Theo scowled at me. “Agenda? You’re the?—”
Immediately Xander stepped between us, shooting Theo a warning glare before returning his attention to me.
“This isn’t the time nor place for this discussion,” he said, his voice firm and steady. “Let’s save it for another location. I will procure our means of transportation to ensure your safe arrival back at your home.”
I kept my angry focus on Theo, not saying a word.
Some things never changed. Xander would always remain the voice of reason.
Unruffled and poised.
Though this new refined way of speaking must be a talent he’d picked up over the recent years.
Theo continued to peer at me, making it very clear we were in a stare-off.
Keeping my gaze locked with his and just to annoy him for making the brat comment, I asked, “Well, are you getting the car like you said, or do I need to arrange my own way home after all?”
“I’ve got it covered.” Xander stepped in front of me, blocking my view of Theo.
His dark eyes were just as intense, just as painful to look into. These two men had been my everything, my safe place. Now I was alone, without a soul to wrap their arms around me to give me even a second of comfort.
Shaking the thoughts away, I pivoted and called over my shoulder, “Okay then, I’m waiting.”
Fifteen minutes later, I was seated comfortably in the back of one of the luxurious cars Simon Drakos provided to guests who wanted to depart earlier than their companions.
Xander steered the car down the winding road while Theo sat in stoic silence beside him. I had no doubt they were completely aware of my every movement. We hadn’t exchanged a single word after leaving the Drakos estate.
The tension between us lay so heavy, filling the air and weighing down the car. And time felt suspended, as if it had been centuries since we’d been this close, this intimate, without anyone else around.
It had only been a little under five years since I was that naive nineteen-year-old, the girl who loved hard, dreamed big, and planned to change the status quo with these men by her side.
But that person had vanished, and I’d learned to keep my secrets hidden and to trust no one.
I’d trusted the men before me, and what had that gotten me?
Absolutely nothing.
Tonight, so much crashed down upon me. First, Nyx and Simon threw their bomb my way with them wanting to be my champions, to teach me to fight back, to help me destroy Andraius, and now these two before me.
It made no sense.
I wanted to hope, but could I afford to hope?
I couldn’t be naive. My sisters and my mother depended on me.
I barely saw them as it was. I couldn’t risk those few precious moments by doing anything stupid.
If only my body understood what was at stake. A war played out inside me. One where the memories of the past resurfaced, reminding me of everything denied me for years.
I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and dropped my head back to the seat, closing my eyes.
Shouldn’t I hate them for leaving me to fend for myself? Shouldn’t I lash out, be the bitch persona I’d cultivated to protect myself?
I’d tried, and it felt so wrong, as if I wasn’t being true to the real me.
Not with them
But who was I?
I had no fucking clue.
Opening my eyes, I studied the back of each man. Both had grown larger and more muscular, something I hadn’t thought possible. Anyone looking in their direction would know they could handle themselves. Their tuxes gave them an elegant and polished appearance, but when anyone looked into their eyes, only danger peered back at them.
I’d felt the impact earlier when they’d stared at me, taking in every one of my reactions. They’d done it countless times in the past. However, those instances had led to activities full of passion, desire, and dirty sex.
An ache deep in my core that had lain dormant for so long pulsed to life, and I couldn’t help but swallow to ease the dryness in my throat.
Fuck.
What the hell was I doing?
I couldn’t go there. I’d locked that box, and opening it would only lead to disaster.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Xander asked, his dark, penetrating gaze studying me through the rearview mirror, reminding me of those nights when he’d stared at me as if he could look into the depths of my soul.
Keeping my voice as calm as possible, I responded without giving him the whole truth. “The events of my life.”
“Such as?” His lips curved slightly at the corners, and for some reason, I could not look away.
The low throbbing deep in my core grew more intense, and my nipples beaded in the confines of my gown.
“You aren’t privy to the information.” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Theo’s fist clench on the armrest along the car’s center console.
His one tell, when agitated.
He definitely understood the undercurrent of what Xander had asked, even if he hadn’t seen my face.
My skin heated, and the thirst for everything I’d given up surged forward as if in the flood of a tsunami.
I shifted in my seat, trying to ignore the two men in the front seats of the car. However, the movement only intensified everything I craved.
The car pulled into the driveway of the Angelos compound, and in a desperate attempt to break away from the attraction between the three of us, I declared quietly, “This can’t work.”
Theo stared forward as he spoke. “We don’t have a choice. Andraius gave us his orders.”
“The three of us together is a disaster waiting to happen. People will learn about our past and what we were to each other.”
“No one but those we trust know about us, and they have kept it silent so far,” Xander countered. “And since we won’t touch you, there isn’t a problem.”
“You have all the fucking answers, don’t you?” I growled.
“That’s my job,” Xander replied.
“Your job.” I gritted my teeth and asked Theo, “Since he has all the answers, what do you do?”
“I implement all the plans.”
“I’m not a plan.” I couldn’t hide my outrage as the roaring of my drumming heartbeat in my ears grew to a deafening level.
This night needed to end.
Glancing over his shoulder, Theo chuckled darkly, making me want to deck him and kiss him. “You’re the long-term plan, Angel. Get prepared.”
“Fuck that shit. I’m not part of any of your plans. I waited for one little sign, one small clue that you two were on my side. But it never came. You left me. So, your long-term plans can go to hell.”
Theo shifted to face me, his gray eyes blazing and void of the cool mask he loved to cloak himself with. “Do you actually believe we wanted to leave? You are the fucking air we breathe. We had to keep you safe. He would have killed you if he had learned about us. We barely managed to hide it from Theios Peter.”
Grabbing the handle, I pushed open the car door. “Safe? Let me quote a line from one of my favorite movies. I know you’re familiar with it since we watched it together. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Without a backward glance, I strode into the house, feeling the urge to cry for the first time in ages.
* * *
As the morning sun slowly crept through my window, I stared up at the intricately designed ceiling of my bedroom. No matter how much I wanted to let the tears fall, I’d kept them at bay. If I opened up that tap, it might never close. Instead, I’d tossed and turned all night long.
Dreams of Theo and Xander had invaded my sleep, reminding me of our times together. Our hours of laughter, long conversations, friendship, and pleasure I’d only ever found with them. They were once upon a time, my rocks, my safe place, the people I trusted with everything.
Then it all shattered into tiny, microscopic pieces.
Since taking my vows, I had trained myself to repress my desires and accept Andraius’s twisted form of sex. I’d convinced myself that at least I’d had love and pleasure for a short moment in my life and locked away my needs.
Now that barrier had all come crashing down in one night, reigniting feelings I couldn’t have.
Their sheer presence made me want, crave, and ache. A deep throbbing pulsed in my core, and there wasn’t any relief in the future from it.
My eyes drifted to the open doorway that led to Andraius’s bedroom.
Just the thought of him touching me gave me nausea. He only knew how to take, never to give.
At least I wouldn’t have to endure anything from him for another few weeks. He only came around when the doctors said I was at peak fertility.
In the meantime, he’d travel between his variety of women tucked around the city.
I’d say more power to them. I’d happily divorce the fucker and let one of them replace me.
I sighed and tucked the covers more snugly around my body.
His mistresses only saw him as an attractive man who looked younger than his fifty-four years. However, once he tired of their newness, they’d get the full view of the disgusting and ugly monster hidden under the handsome face and designer clothing.
I hated him for taking the suite of rooms that had belonged to my parents. There were so many others to choose from, bigger ones, renovated ones. Still, he’d picked this one because of its significance to me and the organization.
At least he believed the bullshit I fed him about my parents having separate bedrooms and me wanting the same thing. If Papa and Mama were ever under the same roof, they never slept apart. I’d wished for the type of love they’d shared and believed I’d found it with Xander and Theo, as unconventional as it had been.
Mama used the room I currently slept in as the “I had a bad dream room” for my siblings and me while growing up. The last occasional occupant was Linus.
The pain of loss shot through my heart. I adored that boy. He was the surprise no one expected, full of joy and laughter. He’d completed our family and brought the energy of a volcano into the house.
A lump formed in my throat, and I quickly shoved it back. No, I refused to dwell there.
At least I had Mama and the girls, even if they were far away.
God, I missed them.
I had to remember they were safe and couldn’t see firsthand what my life had become. Even with the chaos Andraius caused in our lives, his sending Mama and the girls to Cyprus may have been the best thing for them. They lived freely, doing as they pleased as long as they followed the rules of not engaging with any of the other syndicate families.
Or, we’d made it seem like they’d broken ties with all families. Everyone knew Papa was the eldest son of a boss and had inherited my grandfather’s seat, but people seemed to forget Mama was the daughter of a power boss from a province in Greece. No matter what my idiot husband believed, one never cut ties with their blood in the syndicate world, especially immediate family. My maternal grandfather may have passed away, but my uncles were still alive and ran their organizations.
I’d rather deal with the bastard here than let him or his cronies know how my mother or sisters actually lived abroad.
Which included access to the many Swiss accounts where I’d funneled some of the Angelos coffers when Andraius had locked me in the library before he forced me to marry him.
Fucker thought he could keep my Mama on a tight budget and make her beg him for money. I’d let hell freeze over before that day came.
Papa was one of the most intelligent men I’d ever known, and he’d had backup plans for backup plans. I never thought I’d have to follow through on one, but I had. If only I’d had the skills or contacts I possessed now back then. I could have done so much more. Hell, none of this would have happened.
There was no point in dwelling on all of that now. I had other shit to worry about.
Seriously, a whole lot of other shit.
I might as well take a shower. It would give me a more productive way to kill time before I dealt with my two new bodyguards.
Rolling to my side, I rose from the bed and moved toward my bathroom.
Crossing over the threshold into my en suite, I pushed down my worries and finished my morning routine before stepping into the shower.
Bracing my hands against the tiled walls, I lifted my face into the steaming cascade of water and allowed the heat to soak into my skin and relax my muscles.
Ignoring the water pelting my lashes, I focused on the freshly formed bruises on my wrist.
I couldn’t help the smirk that bubbled up.
When riled, Andraius liked to lash out like a feral cat. So, I’d egged him on.
Maybe it was childish and a bit reckless. No, it was full-on dangerous. However, at this point, outside of protecting my sisters and mother, I had no fucks left to give.
Andraius wanted to project this image of refinement and elegance. I’d only go so far to play the part. Somewhere along the timeline of the past few years, I’d gone from numb and depressed to full-on cold rage.
The more he pushed me, the more I challenged him.
He needed me alive, no matter how many times he threatened to kill me. His claim to the family came through me, and he couldn’t marry any of my sisters because they were still minors.
I’d feared him for the first year of our marriage. He’d broken me and made me believe I’d had no one.
Anger burned bright inside me.
Then, everything changed on the anniversary of Papa’s and Linus’s deaths.
While visiting the family gravesites, a few of my security team had gone out of their way to ensure I noticed the Angelos crest pin they strategically wore on the inside of their suit jackets. The very pin Papa had given them when they officially joined the organization.
It had healed something in my heart and given me hope for the first time since entering the cage that had become my life. It made me realize they weren’t loyal to Andraius at all but to Papa, and now my sisters and me.
Since then, those men had gone out of their way to make my life easier. They took extra shifts, ran errands, or sat with me while I worked in the library. They gave me spare time to linger while out and about town. I had peace of mind whenever they were around, knowing no one monitored my conversations with my mother and sisters.
Although I knew some of the men reported my movements to Andraius, I quickly figured out who they were. Papa had taught me how to recognize people’s mannerisms, habits, and body language, so I observed and noted every detail.
And I tested my team by giving them certain pieces of information and seeing if Andraius was alerted. After a while, I knew who sat in my corner and who resided in Andraius’s camp.
With the knowledge that some of them were looking out for me rather than Andraius, I was able to gain a tiny bit of my confidence back.
I may never return to being the girl who’d had her whole life planned out and knew who and what she was. But the woman I’d become today had survived and knew going head-to-head with Andraius would help me slowly siphon my power back.
Besides, what more could he do to me than he’d done the day of the coup?
I slid my palm over my flat stomach.
That day would forever remain etched in my memory.
He’d held guns to my mother’s and sisters’ heads. He’d used the threat of their deaths to force me to marry him, then fuck him. Afterward, when he learned I wasn’t a virgin, he carved “whore” into the flesh below my stomach with the same blade he’d used to murder Papa and Linus.
I clenched my fists. One day I’d laugh knowing an enemy of his took him out in as gruesome a manner as he’d done to those I loved. I craved to be the one to do it, but the chances of that were slim to none.
Logically, I knew I couldn’t physically overpower him. At nearly five-foot-nine, I wasn’t short or a tiny woman, but Andraius’s body mass could overwhelm me in a heartbeat. He carried a full eighty pounds more than I did, and he knew how to fight, something I’d never gotten the chance to learn to a level that would allow me to defend myself against a grown man.
Nyx mentioned training me, but in what? And could I truly trust her?
I couldn’t wrap my mind around the events of last night.
First, the craziness with the Drakoses, and now, the change-up of Theo and Xander. How would I handle it all?
None of this made any sense—especially my new bodyguards.
Watching me had to be a downgrade from their traditional roles. And considering who they were in the structure of the organization, why had they agreed to the change?
I’d spent the last few years locked away from the family’s day-to-day operations. Still, I never stopped paying attention to the things happening around me, especially information about them.
They ran the entire Angelos Syndicate.
I’d often heard how Andraius turned to them for everything, including operations. Sometimes they were referred to as his enforcers and sometimes as his chief lieutenants. But in reality, they were both enforcers who had risen to the ranks of top lieutenants, who’d muscled their way past even those with years more experience than themselves. They gave the impression of carrying out orders without question but were, in fact, the power that controlled the family.
They had made themselves indispensable to Andraius. I wondered if Andraius realized he had little control over the organization he’d commandeered.
And why did Theo and Xander pretend to bow down to a man like Andraius when they already ran the enterprise? What was their end goal?
But if I were to believe Theo’s words from last night, why hadn’t they given me even a glimmer of anything to convey they were on my side?
No matter how much I wanted to believe, how much I wanted it to be true, allowing myself to fall victim to my naivety would only lead to disaster, not only for me but for my sisters and mother.
And if I went through with Nyx’s offer, how would I keep our activities quiet? Could I risk it?
Who was I kidding? Taking the chance with Nyx was my only real possibility of escaping this cage I lived in.
I guessed I had my answer.
Okay, Nerine Nicolette Angelos. Time to face the day and deal with whatever comes your way.