Chapter 10
Ten
X ander
I stared at Nerine’s neck, seeing the distinctive marks of what only came from fingers wrapped around a throat. And from the looks of it, someone had dug their nails so deep that she’d nearly lost consciousness.
No. Not someone. Andraius.
“I’m going to kill that bastard. What the hell was he thinking?”
I stepped back as a throbbing ignited in my temple. I had to pull back the temptation to call in a favor to put a hit on the fucker tonight as Andraius paraded around town with his entourage.
Her gaze held mine as she traced the skin down her throat. “Tell me again that you were keeping me safe.”
If she wanted to stab me right now, I’d lower myself to my knees and let her do it.
Would I always be too fucking late to protect her?
“Ang—”
“I told you never to call me that.” She dropped her hand and lifted her chin. “I don’t need your safe. I’m finding a way without the two of you.”
“We have a plan. We’re trying.”
“It’s not mine.”
“So that is it? Nothing we said to you matters? What about the fact that we love you?”
Our interactions over the last few weeks had been civil and almost pleasant—no more animosity or arguments. We continued giving each other space and rarely were alone with Nerine. The pressure of it pushed against all the emotions we’d kept at bay.
This whole time I believed she understood, even if she hadn’t forgiven us, that we’d left for a reason, that it was either she lived or died. We never stopped loving her and would wait for her in the end.
But now, I wasn’t sure.
She cocked her head to the side. “You want me, knowing another man is fucking me? That he is actively trying to get me pregnant?”
I hated the thought of that piece of shit touching her, doing anything with her.
“Why don’t you tell me if it is something you want? Is it something you choose? Is it something you desire and enjoy?”
“What does it matter? I’m married. There is no future for me until I escape this marriage.”
“Then Theo and I will wait until that time comes.”
“You don’t even know what escape means for me.”
“Do you hate us so much, Angel?”
I expected her to reprimand me about calling her Angel again, but she shook her head and said, “No, I don’t hate you. I wanted to, but in the end, I couldn’t do it.”
“What can we do to get you to forgive us?”
“I’m not sure yet. For now, stop talking about anything but the present. Yes, we have our past. There is no changing that.” She closed her eyes, and for the briefest of seconds, I believed she’d let herself break and cry as she’d done when we were younger and allow me to hold her.
I’d been the one she came to for comfort, the one she shared all her emotions with. Theo had been the one to help her think, give her ideas, and help her plot.
“However, you and Theo are my protection. Nothing more. I can’t cross that line. Ever. I could be the stupidest fucking person in the world, considering everything that happened. Still, I trust the two of you.”
I clenched my jaw and opened my mouth to counter her statement, but she lifted her hand to stay me and continued, “This whole thing with Nyx, Lilly, and Devani is my thing, and I know you will help me. I don’t know where it will lead, but it gives me hope. That’s all I have for the first time in a long time. I need that.”
“We’ll give you anything you need.”
“Would you let me go?”
She had to be kidding me.
“What are you talking about, Nerine?” Theo asked from his position in the back corner of the room.
The startled expression on Nerine’s face made it very clear she hadn’t seen him sitting on the armchair by the window.
“I hate it when you do that shit,” she shouted at him. “Why can’t you announce your presence like a normal person? What the hell is wrong with you? I told you this when we were kids, and I’m telling you now. It’s creepy as fuck. You’re a grown man. Act like one.”
She cocked a hand on her hip and glowered at Theo. Her sapphire blue eyes sparkled with irritation, and a crease formed between her brows. She’d utterly transformed into the girl I’d fallen for in my youth, the fiery viper ready to punch someone in the face.
“Oh, so she is in there.” Theo rose from his seat. “I wondered when the real Nerine planned to make an appearance.”
“Who the fuck are you talking to? I swear to God, you make me want to punch you.”
“The bratty angel with a vicious tongue. Those company manners you kept throwing at us, where you pretended to be nice. We asked you to behave, not cloak yourself in that facade you wear for the public. We want the real Nerine. This mask was starting to get on my nerves.”
“I’ll show you who’s getting on whose nerves, you overgrown jackass.” She moved toward him, and at the same time, Theo stalked toward her. “I’m going to punch you in that smug face.”
“Give it your best shot, brat.”
I blew out a breath. This was about to get out of hand. I hated being the diplomat. In the past, I’d let them fuck it out, and then I’d get the sweet, compliant version of my Angel, who’d do whatever I told her.
However, since that was nowhere near an option, the Universe had decided that my job was to play interference.
I stretched my hands out in both directions, one shoving Theo back hard, though he came right back at me, and the other gently set against Nerine’s chest.
“The two of you need to settle down. I get it. We have too much history, feel too much, and want too much. No matter how much I wish we could, we can’t handle this as we used to.” I blew out a deep breath and then added, “When the fuck did I become the logical one?”
As if my words sent a surge of energy around us, Theo and Nerine stilled, taking in everything I said.
All our unsteady breaths filled the air, as did the presence of undisguised arousal and need. The buildup from the multitude of days pulsed between us as if it were a living thing.
My cock strained to a painful level, and I had no doubt Theo stood in the same state.
The drive to slide my hand up the column of Nerine’s neck, kiss those bruises, ease her discomfort, and then tug her mouth to mine pulled at every ounce of my control.
This woman at my fingertips, so close but untouchable. The heat of her skin branded me, making me crave relief I knew wouldn’t come anytime soon.
The way Theo’s body shook as he resisted the same urges pumping in my system gave me some semblance of comfort. We fought the same battle for self-control.
I turned my head, holding his gaze. His pupils dilated.
The draw for him tugged at me as much as the call for Nerine. This complicated mess with the three of us overflowed with loss and need.
Our woman belonged to a man we hated. Because of my stupidity, Theo and I had a boundary between us we couldn’t cross.
This was so fucked up.
After another minute, Nerine shifted back, dropping her head and looking away.
Through unsteady breaths, she whispered, “If only I hated you two. Then things would be so much easier. I…I…”
Wrapping her robe around her tighter, she moved to the farthest set of sofas in the room, took a seat on a chaise, and tucked her feet under her body.
She watched us with unsettled cobalt eyes as Theo and I followed her cues, taking the two armchairs near us.
“Answer my question, Nerine,” Theo directed when it became clear Nerine wouldn’t say anything unless we probed. “And don’t be a smartass. You know what I’m talking about.”
She narrowed her gaze, and I prepared for more of what had occurred, but to my surprise, she gave him what he wanted. “The escape I want means freedom from this life. You’re engrained in this life. Therefore, you’re not part of that freedom.”
The hell we weren’t.
“You want us to prove our love for you by letting you go?” I asked.
Before she could answer, Theo said, “No. How do we let you go after all of this?” He gestured to the room around him. “I sacrificed my dignity. I teamed up with that fucking loser of a boss. I lost my family. You’re the reason for all of this.”
“Nothing will bring Papa, Linus, Theios Mik, or any of your brothers back. And do you see me having any credibility taking the seat after what Andraius did to me? I have no power.”
“You’ll have us by your side,” I reminded her.
“First of all, I don’t want it. Second, the minute Andraius’s body is in the ground, vultures will circle to take his place. And they will use the same methods to force me into another marriage.”
“We would never let that happen again.” The vein on Theo’s forehead pulsed, telling me things were about to escalate.
“Maybe.” She shrugged, pursing her lips at Theo, and then glanced at me. “I’m not going to chance it.”
“It’s your birthright. Your sisters’ birthrights.”
“As women, do we truly have birthrights? Papa wanted to change things. But he is gone. My commodity is in my genetics, my bloodline. It’s my womb everyone wants. I’m nothing but a broodmare for the next bastard who wants to take on the Angelos name.”
“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” I glared at her. “You know that is not how we see you.”
Ignoring me, she looked up at the painted ceiling and mused, “If I’d been born a boy, I’d probably be dead, just like Linus. Well, no. Papa would have trained me from birth to run the family, and more than likely, none of this would have happened.”
“Where are you going with this, Nerine?”
“Oh, we’re using my name. It isn’t Angel anymore? I must be getting on your nerves, Theo.” She scowled at him. “My point is, without power, there isn’t a reason to take the seat. I don’t want it. My sisters don’t want it. The twins want to go into art and design, and at the moment, Fiona wants to study aerospace. If I get my way, they will have their dreams come true.”
“You’d let the family fall?” I asked, surprised by her desire to leave everything behind.
“If it means an escape for my mother, sisters, and me, yes.”
“I promise, we won’t let you down ever again. We aren’t the stupid kids we were before.”
She released a deep sigh. “Xander, are you even listening to me?”
“I hear every word you’re saying. I don’t want you to regret your decisions later.” I scraped a hand down my face, knowing agreeing to her decision was the only way to reach any middle ground. “Negotiate with me, Angel.”
“Here is my compromise. Promise to let me go, and in return, in the unlikely event someone unseats Andraius in my name”—she smirked as if that statement sounded farfetched—“the two of you hold the family for the Angelos women. That is, until someone finds us if they can. Isn’t there a saying, no body, no death ?”
I glanced at Theo, and he’d also caught the “that is, until someone finds us” part.
“Are you planning to disappear?”
She lifted a brow and gave a noncommittal shrug. “As of now, it’s only a dream. A fantasy about freedom, a life away from the one I know.”
“How long have you had your plan in the works?” Theo studied her as he would an opponent for tells, readying for a lie.
“For four years, eleven months, and eighteen days.”
Since the day of the coup.
“Why are you telling us all of this?”
“Theo, because the idiot part of me believes the two of you still love me. Now I’m trusting you to follow my wishes. You broke my faith in you once, and I’ll never forgive you if you do it again.”
“Do you still love us?” Theo asked.
Was he even aware of the unguarded hope he’d revealed in his question?
“I’m not sure what I feel. I don’t hate you. I won’t lie and say I’m not attracted to the two of you. But love.” She released a deep breath, glancing down at her lap momentarily. “I feel something. It’s more wrapped in memories and thoughts. A bit of sadness, longing, all the things I want to keep locked away.”
I took in her features as she lost herself in her thoughts. We’d fucked up so badly with her. We’d been kids ourselves, following the orders of my father, who wanted only to protect us. Now, I wasn’t sure if it had been the right call.
She wanted to leave with her sisters and mother, believing there wouldn’t be an all-out hunt for the missing wife and daughters of a slain and beloved boss. Not to mention, hiding five women with features like theirs was virtually impossible. Outside of the fact they looked like replicas of their mother, the Angelos daughters had inherited Theios Peter’s midnight black hair and sapphire blue eyes.
“Okay, Angel.” A slight curve to Theo’s lips said he’d used the name to needle Nerine. “Let’s say we agree to let you go. Will you play nice in the meantime?”
“Will you do the same?”
The undercurrent of what she asked had the room going quiet again. The sexual energy the three of us shared never seemed to wane. It remained a constant pulsing beat, sometimes drumming harder and at others, slow and steady.
“Let’s agree not to push each other’s buttons. We can’t afford to fall into those patterns.”
Nerine nodded and then focused on me. “And you? I can’t have you doing that thing you do.”
“What thing?”
She released a frustrated breath and said, “You are my security only, my bodyguard. You aren’t my confidant, my counselor. I won’t turn to you for comfort. So you have to stop waiting for me to come to you. It isn’t going to happen.”
Her observation hit me like a ton of bricks. She’d felt the weight of my longing, the need to take her pain and hold her as I’d done in the past.
“I can’t change how I feel, even for you. But I hear what you’re saying. I know there are lines we can’t cross.”
“Okay,” she whispered, her fingertips drifting over the marks on her neck again, and the rage I felt toward Andraius grew by leaps and bounds.
Instead of letting my mind linger on my hatred for that shit, I asked, “Do we have a deal?”
“On a few conditions.”
I leaned forward, resting my arms on my knees. “And they are?”
“Number one. I want access to all information about Angelos operations.”
I cocked my head to the side. “You said you didn’t want to take the seat.”
“For now, I want to know how the two of you are running my family business.” Her lips curved at the corners. “Do you honestly believe I didn’t know? As Papa said, one isn’t a leader if they don’t get in the trenches. Andraius doesn’t even try to get his hands dirty.”
“What do you want with the information?” Theo’s curiosity matched mine. “Is there something you’re looking for?”
“Whether I take over or not, I have to learn. I can’t let others tell me how to handle things and trust they are telling me the truth. This is the plight of too many women in the world.”
“Is this another of Nyx and Devani’s lessons?”
“No, it’s a hands-on lesson I learned over the last five years. Papa trusted me with everything and gave me access to every aspect of his empire. But he never taught his beloved wife the basics of their finances. So when Papa died, Mama went from complete financial dependence to uncertainty. If I hadn’t had access to Papa’s accounts, I wouldn’t have been able to transfer any of the money out before Andraius got hold of the logins.”
“I had a suspicion you were the mastermind behind draining the funds into Swiss accounts. How did you know to do that?”
“Papa. He always had a backup for everything.” She looked between me and Theo. “I have a right to know how things operate. Papa never got to teach me the full extent of his plans. I’m tired of being helpless. The last few weeks have reminded me of all I let go.”
“And you think we are going to do this?”
“I don’t need you to teach me. I only require access to the information. Get me that, and the rest is covered.”
We were back to her Assassin Squad. “What’s the next thing on your list of conditions?”
“I have to make sure you understand. No matter what, we can’t talk about the past or what comes in the future again. What we had doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t want hope.”
I wanted to argue. Hope was how to survive. That’s how I’d made it this far. I’d made myself believe she and Theo would be there at the end of this.
“And?” I probed.
“Follow through on the lesson plan Devani gave you. I want to learn everything and anything I can to protect myself.”
“We may have some issues,” I informed her.
“Why is that?”
“Your trainer ordered me to teach you to spar with someone my size. That means close proximity to you. That’s a bad idea.”
“Oh.” She looked in Theo’s direction. “What are your instructions?”
“Guns and takedowns.”
She frowned. “She’s training me like a soldier in her damn organization. That woman is crazy. I swear to God.”
“Speaking of,” I had to ask. “Want to divulge the name of the organization?”
“Nope.” She shook her head. “Nyx said the rule is chicks before dicks. And your dicks aren’t on my menu anyway, so that’s an easy call to make. So anyway, Devani retired.”
“Retired, my ass,” Theo mumbled.
“So are you guys going to help me, or maybe one of Nyx’s brothers will fill in? She said Tyler is the one who taught her to fight, and he’s a very patient teacher.”
The head of the Mykos syndicate wouldn’t get anywhere near her. I couldn’t help the annoyance and jealousy coursing through my body. And when would he have time to fly up here to teach her?
Was Nyx setting her brother up with Nerine for the future?
Over my fucking dead body.
“We’ll do it. No one is touching you on our watch.”
“Really? But you just said there were issues.” She stared at me as if my reaction seemed odd.
“I know what I said.”
“Okay, I guess I owe Nyx fifty bucks.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I insisted the last thing you’d want to do was add training to your babysitting duties.”
“So Nyx told you to do what?”
“She said part of my training was to learn to play mind games. Well, Devani said that part. And they wanted me to try it on you. She said the second I mentioned her brother that you’d jump in and take over my training. I insisted you weren’t that gullible, but it looks as if she was right again.”
I scowled at her. “Are you for real right now?”
“You walked into that one, dumbass.” Theo started laughing. “From the moment we left the Drakos estate, I knew there was no getting out of training her.”
“If you’re so smart, why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it’s fun watching you get all pissy.”
Dickhead.