Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
N erine
“This decision affects all of us. I need to know this is something you can accept.”
I assessed Mama’s and my sisters’ faces as they scanned through the folders in their hands—each one containing detailed information about Angelos Shipping, from its finances to its organizational structure. I’d never hidden anything from them, and I never would.
They’d known what I’d done the day of the coup. Hell, they’d watched me do it. But after what Andraius pulled with my forged signature on his bank accounts, I needed them to understand I wasn’t making this decision lightly.
After a few minutes, Mama looked up. “Every day, I see more and more of my old Nerine again. It makes me so happy. You laugh and joke. It’s been so long since I saw the silliness inside you. That hard shell is cracking away.”
My throat burned hearing her say that. I felt the change, too. Not having to hold everything in, not having to be on guard, was so freeing. At least in my home, I could be myself.
“All of this.” She lifted the folder. “It is because of you and what you want and has nothing to do with Theo and Xander. Is this correct?”
I’d expected this question and prepared for it.
“No, and yes. No, because I feel I have to fix this. I know I can fix this. I’m going to make mistakes. There is no way around it. I don’t have Papa’s experience or patience, but I’m not so stubborn that I won’t listen to advice.”
“What about the yes part?” Fiona probed.
Her sapphire gaze speared me like an inquisitor preparing to extract information. She was right. The baby in her had disappeared. I guessed watching the horrors she’d witnessed as a preteen could do that to a girl.
Now she assessed me with eyes so much older than her fifteen years.
“Since all of you know about us, I’ll give you the truth. I love them.”
“You can’t marry both of them. Massachusetts is progressive but not that progressive,” Ariana stated.
“She’s barely been a widow for over a week. Give a girl a chance to play the field.” Christina jabbed Ariana, who shoved her back.
“As if those two would let her play with anyone else.” Ariana glowered. “Do you even see the way they watch her?”
I broke into the twins’ argument. “I wasn’t finished, so you two can stop discussing me as if I’m not here.”
“Sorry,” they both said in unison.
Then Christina muttered, “You still can’t marry both of them.”
“Duh, you’re so dumb.” Ariana rolled her eyes. “Nerine will marry one and have special benefits with the other. Win-win.”
I looked at the ceiling, shaking my head. I’d committed one murder in this room. What was two more?
Mama rose from her spot next to Fiona and strode toward the twins.
“No more talking from either of you. Is that clear? You two are eighteen, and Fiona, has more sense than the both of you put together.” Then, Mama pointed at an armchair across from her. “Christina, over there. Ariana, I’m sitting next to you now.”
They both opened their mouths to say something, and Mama cut them off. “ I said no talking.”
They both gave identical glowers, folding their arms. Christina settled into her new spot, muttering something under her breath, her gaze shooting daggers at Ariana.
“Did you say something about welcoming the chaos?” Fiona asked me with a smirk.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You must have imagined it.” I grinned back at her, then a giggle bubbled up, followed by laughter.
Once I started, Fiona joined in.
Mama chuckled next, and then I heard one of the twins snort or something, and we all lost it.
For the next few minutes, we allowed ourselves to enjoy the ridiculousness of this simple sibling stupidity.
I had missed this so much. Mama. Fiona. Christina and Ariana.
If only Papa and Linus were here. Then our family would be complete, the way it once was.
Tears welled in my eyes.
As if sensing what was missing, we sobered and looked at each other.
“He would only want you to do this if it was your choice, cara.” Mama spoke through the pain that had yet to ease. “You can still change your mind.”
“Don’t I have a responsibility to the family? This is what Papa expected of me.”
“No.” Mama shook her head. “You stop that thought now. Have you not suffered enough in the name of this family?”
“I can’t let anything fall on the girls.”
“Do you think you are the only one who gets to sacrifice everything for this family?” Ariana jumped up and cocked a hand on her hip. “Pass it to me. I’ll fuck a motherfucker up if they even dared to touch me.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sit down and shut up. You’re going to college. That is what you want, so that is what will happen.”
“What about the plan you worked on with your friends?” Fiona asked.
Immediately, my gaze went to the library doors, and my heartbeat accelerated. “I changed my mind.”
“So I don’t get to change my mind?” Ariana argued. “What if I want to take up the mantle? You don’t get to decide for me.”
“Is that truly what you want?”
“Would you give it to me if it was?” She challenged me, with her blue eyes boring into mine as if daring me to lie to her.
Sighing, I shook my head. “No, I will never put that kind of pressure on you. There are too many things to take on that I won’t have you carry.”
Ariana cocked a hand on her hip. “And now we’ve circled back to the core of the situation. It’s not a matter of whether we want something but what you are willing to give us. Do you want freedom from this life or Papa’s seat? Tell us the truth.”
I’d been adamant about my choice for so long.
All I cared about was my freedom, my escape, a life away from the hell I lived in, the obligations, the family.
Then all the things Theo and Xander had said soaked in, and maybe some of the lessons from Lilly did as well. Where Devani coordinated my escape plan, Lilly constantly taught me skills based on the scenario where I stayed to run the empire.
“My choice is Papa’s seat. However,” I added, “this meeting is to make the final decision.”
“Are you saying—” Christina paused and then shifted in her seat. “Are you saying that you want us to make the call? If we say we want to go through with the plan to leave, it will happen?”
I nodded. “Everything is ready. All my friends were waiting on was for one of Andraius’s rivals to play on his territory to put things in motion. Now, they only need the go-ahead from me.”
“Won’t they be upset if you change your mind and decide to stay? These people you call friends”—Ariana air-quoted the last word—“are dangerous, and they spent a lot of time and money putting everything together.”
“They account for all scenarios, and money isn’t a big problem for them.”
“Who the fuck are you involved with, Nerine?” Ariana’s voice was high-pitched and worried, which wasn’t her usual way of handling things.
“Are you really that dense?” Fiona asked in exasperation. “Those women she sent to our villa to debug our house and give us the phones were spies or killers or something. Didn’t you notice how they scanned everything and monitored the property? Seriously, they were armed at all times, with something or the other, guns, knives, you name it, they probably had it somewhere on their body. How did you not see that?”
“I had bigger things to worry about at the time, like finishing school.” Ariana shot Fiona a scowl.
“I swear, you two are so oblivious. Mama, were they oxygen-deprived during labor? How are the two of you so book smart when you’re oblivious to what’s under your nose?”
“Fi, enough,” Mama commanded.
“Yes, Mama.”
I rubbed my temples and stood, stalking over to my desk, opening a drawer, and pulling out a roll of masking tape. “No more talking from anyone, or I will tape your mouths shut.”
The shocked expression on the girls’ faces may have been worth the headache.
“Now, can I explain why I came to this point before anyone else decides to jump in?”
The girls nodded their agreement without saying a word.
“I want to fix our legacy. I realized how much I truly wanted it over the last few days. I remembered the girl Papa raised and how much I loved learning from him. He made it a game. He made it fun. He taught me so many lessons that I completely pushed to the back of my mind because of my fear.” I took a deep breath. “Then, the devil died, and I jumped in. It was scary, and I didn’t know what I was doing, but I remembered. It was like Papa was there, telling me about small things and how to handle them. And I figured things out. I want to take my place.”
“Cara, have you considered how the other families will behave toward you?” Mama asked, her question more than valid.
“I have. I won’t back down and must handle it the way Papa would. I can’t show weakness. That means they will continually test me. Meaning you four will have risks.”
“That is no different than our lives before.” Mama held my gaze. “I know how the protection works.”
“The girls may not agree to this. They will have to make sacrifices. Christina and Ariana will have to pick universities in Boston.”
A crease formed between both girls’ brows. They had their hearts set on colleges on the West Coast.
“That is why I said we all have to make this decision. We all agree, or we all disappear, and I leave Angelos Shipping to—” I closed my eyes, feeling the burn at the back of my throat.
Mama saved me from saying, “Theo and Xander to run.”
I remained quiet.
Fiona raised her hand, and I gestured with my chin for her to speak.
“You would leave them for us?”
My lips trembled. “Yes.”
No matter how much I loved Xander and Theo, I must protect my family. They were all I had left. Their safety was all that mattered. One day, I hoped they would forgive me for breaking their hearts.
I hadn’t promised them anything. I’d just stepped into my role and done my duty. But deep down, I knew they believed I’d stay, that I’d changed my mind about leaving.
And I had. I wanted this life with them. The one Mama discussed with them last night.
But I couldn’t force my will on the girls. They had so many dreams. They deserved every last one of them.
The room remained quiet for some time, all of us lost in our thoughts.
Then, suddenly, Ariana burst out, “I vote to stay.”
“Same,” Christina said next. “I already applied to schools here, so it’s not a big deal.”
“Did you get in is the real question.” Fiona stuck her tongue out at Christina.
I jumped in before another round of chaos started. “Stop instigating things and tell us your vote.”
Fiona shot me a “you should know the answer, dumbass” glare. “Obviously, stay.”
We all turned to Mama and waited for her to decide.
“You promise this is what you choose?”
“Yes. I choose it.”
“Then we stay.”
Relief washed over me. I’d finally get what I wanted, my family and the men I loved.
“I have one stipulation I need to add.” Ariana glanced at Christina, who nodded as if they’d had some silent communication.
“Go ahead.”
“We want to be involved. You will not leave us out. I’ve heard about how the Mykos Syndicate operates. Even with the eldest brother running things, all four brothers and one sister have an equal say in major decisions. We don’t need you to protect us constantly. Honestly, I’m so over it.”
“I second that shit.”
“Christina, language,” Mama admonished.
This prompted Fiona to defend Christina with, “She’s only speaking the truth. What do you say, big sister?”
“Agreed. It makes complete sense.” Fiona’s triumphant smirk had me narrowing my eyes at her. “Why do I suspect you are behind this line of thought and that you’re the one who put it into their heads?”
“Because you’re a suspicious person.” She smiled. “And you know I’m the smartest one out of all of us.”
“And the least humble,” Christina and Ariana said in unison, which had them laughing.
Ignoring the twins, Fiona asked, “Now that this big life-altering decision is over, can I ask a question?”
Whatever she had to say, I had no doubt it would be a doozy—the last few years had changed her from the high-energy little girl to this firecracker of a teen who knew her mind.
I almost cringed as I said, “Shoot.”
“So, is it Xander or Theo? Who will be the husband, and who’s the side piece?”
I should have expected that.
“Fiona Maria Angelos, that is not something you ask your sister.”
Oh no, Mama had pulled out the full name. Fiona was in trouble. It took all my strength not to peek in Ariana and Cristina’s direction to see if they were about to burst out laughing like I was.
“Why not? If not my sister, then who?”
Mama closed her eyes, lifted her head up, and made the sign of the cross. “Lord above, help me. These girls are going to drive me to drink. I don’t know where I went wrong with them.”
* * *
Around five in the evening, after a quick shower, I stepped into my closet wrapped in a towel. Devani had only given me a few days of respite from my training and then sent a car to bring me to the Drakos estate to reestablish my schedule.
Every muscle in my body hurt, from my toes to my ears. I wasn’t sure why Devani thought it was a good idea to fight as if we were in a match to the death. She’d knocked me so hard on the side of the head that my hearing hadn’t entirely normalized.
Yes, we had been wearing headgear, and I towered over her by a good seven inches, but for a five-foot-two woman, she packed a punch.
Her excuse was that I never knew when someone would catch me off guard, and I needed the skills to protect myself. I couldn’t argue with her since that had happened when Andraius attacked me.
I glanced at the mirror in the back of the space and angled my face. Thank God, there was only a light redness on my jaw and cheek.
Xander would lose his shit, probably threaten to attach himself to my side, and give me no space. And there was no telling what Theo would do. He’d likely confront Devani or Nyx. That was all we needed, pissing off an ally’s wife.
Opening a drawer, I selected a set of workout clothes, slipped them on, and grabbed a pair of trainers. After donning my shoes, I pulled my hair into a ponytail.
Approaching the mirror again, I lifted my shirt and studied my scars. They’d faded so much since I started using the products Nyx gave me, but I could still see the word. Maybe I’d always see it, even if it eventually completely disappeared from my skin.
WHORE.
The lines were all over and not even properly written. He’d done it to hurt, to make a point.
The bastard would never know that every time Xander and Theo kissed over them, as if it was just part of my body they wanted to enjoy, the pain of what he’d done eased away.
Dropping my shirt down, I squared my shoulders. I refused to let Andraius hold the power of his marks over me any longer. It was time to put something on my body I actually wanted.
Stooping down, I slid on my sneakers and then exited the bedroom.
“Good evening,” Stefano said the moment he saw me.
He’d returned to heading up my security and was much easier to handle than Theo and Xander. Plus, being around him and my original team felt more comforting than it would have with someone unfamiliar.
No matter how much I wanted to resist the around-the-clock safety protocols, I understood that as I was the head of the family, it was more than necessary, and if it made the two men in my life easier to handle, then why not? Plus, after the discussion with my sisters, I couldn’t complain when I would put them under the same kind of protection.
“I’m going to make a quick visit to the old side of the house and then stop in to see the guys in the barracks.” I strode through a long corridor and down a short set of stairs leading to a landing.
“Are you sure you want to go down there? It’s not something you will enjoy.”
He couldn’t be serious. Could the originals who knew about my relationship with Theo and Xander have kept the information from each other too?
I glanced over my shoulder, continuing to my destination. “I know what happens down there. I doubt anything can shock me.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
It looked as if they had.
“Do you have orgies down there now?” I came to an abrupt stop before he could answer. A surge of anger pushed into the forefront of my mind seeing my parents’ old bedroom.
Behind me, Stefano said, “It’s over. Remember this. They are only walls.”
“I will gut those suites and turn them into something useful. What? I haven’t a clue. But I’ll erase every trace of that bastard from this house.”
“Sounds like a great plan.”
Taking a deep breath, I continued down the hall until I reached the blue door I’d used throughout my childhood. I reached up and traced the script carved into the wood bearing my name.
The girl who’d resided in this room knew hope and possibilities. She hadn’t experienced suffering or loss. She wasn’t naive to the world she’d been born into but wasn’t jaded. She’d accepted the role she’d play in her family’s legacy.
Parts of her still lingered deep in me. However, her innocence no longer existed. I understood the cruel reality of our world, and the only way to fight was to be the most ruthless one at the table.
I was far from that person at the moment, but I had allies to back me as I built my power.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
I stepped into my old room and closed the door. I wouldn’t linger in here. This place only represented the past. I only needed one thing from a secret location.
Moving to a dresser in the corner, I shimmied it forward and then stooped down. In the back sat a small panel that I slid open, and inside was a black plastic box. I took it out and then opened it.
Smiling, I picked up the paper, unfolded it, and tucked it into my pants pocket.
Less than ten minutes later, Stefano and I reached the barracks, where I could hear the buzzing sounds of a tattoo machine and a group of men shouting at something they were watching on the television.
“This doesn’t seem any different than before.” I looked at Stefano.
He cocked his head to the side as if in confusion.
“You know that I came down here when I was younger?”
A crease formed between his brows. “I wasn’t aware of this.”
“I was a notorious pool shark. The amount of money I hustled out of the guys would boggle the mind.” I couldn’t help but smile at the memory.
“I take it Theios Peter didn’t know this information.”
“I did a lot of things Papa didn’t know.”
“If you’re referring to your previous relationship with the young enforcers assigned to protect you in high school, let’s say I discovered that information over the last few weeks.”
“Well, at least you know the true Angelos men are loyal. They keep secrets, even from each other.”
He grunted and pushed open the half-ajar door.
The space wasn’t anything resembling a military barracks, and I wasn’t even sure who had named the place. It was a large warehouse-style open building sectioned off into a gym and lounge with a pool table, a bar, couches, armchairs, and a big-screen television. Near it was a dining area with a kitchenette, and in the back sat a studio set up as a tattoo parlor with a giant sign hanging from the ceiling saying Barracks .
I walked around the periphery, taking in the laughter and the normalcy of the environment and how much it reminded me of the past.
I paused for a moment when I caught sight of Christina and Ariana at the pool table.
“Looks like they had the same idea as I did.” I gestured with my chin.
Stefano shifted his attention and shook his head. “Those two are a handful. Clay says you are calm and sweet compared to them.”
“Maybe I should step up my game. I can’t let my younger sisters show me up.”
“You’ve given us more than enough hell for two lifetimes, Angel,” Theo said as he approached, his intense gray gaze holding mine and sending a tingle down my spine.
“I believe you need to build higher stamina.”
He lifted a brow and then leaned forward.
I adjusted to close the distance between our mouths and then stopped myself.
Theo, Xander, and I had decided to be open about the fact we were in a relationship. However, we kept the affection discreet.
We couldn’t chance anyone outside the walls of the Angelos compound learning about us. I had to maintain my role as the widow who was only a month from burying her husband.
The corners of Theo’s mouth curved. “Are you complaining about my performance?”
“I’d never do any such thing.”
God, he smelled so good, the clean scent of his soap and his natural essence.
“I can make it so every step you take tomorrow reminds you of my abilities.”
I pursed my lips and then grinned. “You’re on, Mr. Nephus. I dare you to deliver on that threat.”
“You’re such a brat.”
“You love it.”
“I do. I most definitely do.” He brushed his lips against mine and pulled back. “Now tell me what made you decide to come down and visit with us peasants.”
I stared at him for a few seconds, and then when I remained quiet, he probed, “Well?”
“I—I want an appointment with our resident artist.”
He gripped my hips. “Are you talking about what I think you’re talking about?”
I nodded.
“Then you better ask him if he has space to fit you in.” He took my hand and turned.
I tugged him to a stop. “Theo, hold up. You’re touching me. And a few seconds ago, you kissed me.”
“Xander decided with Tina and Ariana as long as we remained on Angelos property, we didn’t need to hide anything. I agreed.”
“You took advice from two eighteen-year-olds?”
“Xander did. I agreed with him.”
“Don’t I get a vote in this?”
He tugged me forward. “No.”
“What if it gets out?”
“Will it change your mind about us if it does?”
“Of course not.”
“Then, why are we discussing this?”
I clenched my teeth. “You’re such a jackass.”
“And you love it.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, I do.”
Theo and I worked our way through a group of people watching Xander work on Garren, one of the soldiers under Theios Alex.
Xander’s concentration was absolute. Nothing distracted him when he was in the zone. Right now, his focus was on Garren’s upper arm. From where I stood, it looked as if Xander was in the process of completing a sleeve he’d worked on in pieces.
“Hey, asshole, can you fit in a walk-in?” Theo stepped into the beam of the spot lamp trained on Garren’s arm.
“You’re the asshole, standing in my light.” Xander lifted his head with an angry scowl. “Fuck off with you and your walk?—”
He locked his attention on me.
Without saying anything, I reached into my pocket, pulled out the paper with a sketch more than five years old, unfolded it, and set it on the counter near him.
“Everyone, get the fuck out of here.” Xander stood. “It’s time to evacuate the premises.”