24. KIm
24
KIM
Kim
I 'm sipping my coffee — coffee that I asked Sam for and it has been at my breakfast everyday since — and savoring the rich aroma when Sam clears his throat. His gray eyes lock onto mine, a hint of curiosity dancing in them.
"So, do you know Alexi?" he says, his voice casual but laced with an undercurrent of something I can't quite place.
I set my mug down, tilting my head. "Alexi? We danced together on the ice. Why?"
Sam leans back, his muscular arms crossed over his chest. "Just asking. Heard she's been asking about you."
My eyebrows shoot up. "Really? From who?"
"The guys. You know I keep in touch, even in the off-season." He shrugs, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Apparently, the other ice girls haven't seen or heard from you in a while."
I chew on my bottom lip, considering this. Alexi and I were close during our time as ice girls, but since everything that's happened... "Huh. I guess I haven't really thought about it."
"You don't seem too interested in what they've been doing," Sam observes, his eyes narrowing slightly.
I shrug, trying to keep my voice light. "Should I be? We were friends, sure, but it's not like we were joined at the hip."
Sam leans forward, his elbows on the table. "Would you like her to visit? I could extend an invitation."
The offer catches me off guard. I study Sam's face, searching for any hidden agenda. "You'd do that?"
He nods, his expression unreadable. "If you want."
I drum my fingers on the table, weighing my options. On one hand, it would be nice to see a familiar face. On the other hand... "I don't know, Sam. Things are complicated enough as it is."
"Complicated?" He raises an eyebrow, a challenge in his voice. "How so?"
I gesture vaguely between us. "This. Us. Everything. Bringing Alexi into it... I'm not sure that's a good idea."
Sam's jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. "You ashamed of me, little dancer?"
"No," I say quickly, reaching across the table to touch his hand. "It's not that. It's just... a lot to explain."
He intertwines his fingers with mine, his grip firm. "Then don't explain. Let her see for herself."
I can't help but laugh. "You make it sound so simple."
"Isn't it?" His thumb traces circles on my palm. "You're here. I'm here. What else matters?"
Maybe…he's right.
Alexi bursts into the room, her eyes wide with excitement. "Kim! Oh my God, girl, you've been holding out on us!"
I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. It feels like ages since I've seen a friendly face that isn't Sam's, if his even counts as friendly. "Hey, Alexi. It's good to see you."
She plops down on the plush sofa next to me, her grin mischievous. "So, spill. How'd you land the hottest player in the league? And more importantly," she leans in, lowering her voice conspiratorially, "is he as good in bed as he looks?"
I feel a warmth spread through me, remembering last night. I nod, trying to keep my expression neutral. "He's... yeah. He's pretty amazing."
Alexi squeals, clapping her hands. "I knew it! God, you're so lucky." Her excitement fades slightly, replaced by curiosity. "But seriously, where have you been? I've been texting you for weeks."
My stomach tightens. "Oh, you know... I've been busy."
"Too busy to answer a text?" Her brow furrows. "What's going on, Kim?"
I fidget with the hem of my shirt, avoiding her gaze. "It's complicated."
"Complicated how?" Alexi presses, her tone sharpening.
I shake my head. "I've just been busy."
"Busy." Her tone is dry. "With…Sam?"
I nod, not really sure what more to say. "It's the off-season, you know, so he's got a lot of free time."
Her eyes burn into my skin as she stares at me. "Kim, what aren't you telling me?"
I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Nothing. I've just been spending all my time here since Sam brought me here, and I-"
Alexi's eyes narrow. "Brought you? Not invited?"
"Well, I mean..." I trail off, unsure how to explain without sounding crazy.
"Kim," she says slowly. "What exactly do you mean by 'brought'?"
I close my eyes, the weight of the truth pressing down on me. There's a war in me because he did tell me I could leave and I didn't. He's defended me, protected me, and I've chosen him every time.
"Just that he... he brought me here." I can't meet her eyes as I say it because I don't know how to fix this. This is exactly what I was worried about. "And I've been here since the end of the season party."
The silence that follows is deafening. When I open my eyes, Alexi's face is a mask of horror and disgust. It's clear she can see exactly what happened.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" she hisses. "He kidnapped you, and you're sleeping with him?"
I flinch at her words. "It's not like that, Alexi. It's... complicated."
"Complicated?" Alexi stands up, her body rigid with anger. "There's nothing complicated about it, Kim. You are answering texts, no one has talked to you, and he 'brought' you here. It sounds like he took you against your will. That's kidnapping. And now you're, what, Stockholm Syndromed?"
"No, I..." I start, but the words die in my throat. How can I explain something I barely understand myself?
Alexi shakes her head, backing away from me. "I can't believe this. Do you need help? Did he do something to you? Because this? This is fucked up."
I feel my heart racing, my palms growing slick with sweat. Alexi's words echo in my head, and I struggle to find the right response. "You don't understand," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "Sam, he... he protects me."
Alexi's eyes widen, her expression a mix of disbelief and concern. "Protects you? From what, Kim? Your freedom?"
I shake my head, frustration building. "No, it's not like that. He keeps me safe from... from everything." The words sound hollow even to my own ears. What is happening?
"Everything?" Alexi scoffs. "Like what? The big bad world outside this gilded cage?"
Her words sting, and I find myself on the defensive. "He helped me with my brother, with the drug charges. He got me out of that mess."
"A mess he could've solved without kidnapping you," Alexi counters, her voice sharp. "Normal people call the police, Kim. They don't lock someone up in their mansion."
I flinch at her words, memories of those first days flooding back. The locked doors, the isolation. But then I remember the gifts, the tender moments. "He gives me everything I could ever want," I argue weakly.
Alexi's laugh is bitter. "Everything except your freedom, right? Wake up, Kim! This isn't love, it's control."
Her words hit me like a physical blow. I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold. "You don't know him like I do," I whisper.
"And you don't know yourself anymore," Alexi retorts. She stands up, pacing the room. "Listen to yourself, Kim. You're defending a man who took you against your will. Who keeps you isolated from your friends and family. How is that okay?"
I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. My mind is a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Sam's smile, his touch, the way he makes me feel... but also the fear, the uncertainty, the loss of control.
Alexi's voice softens, and she kneels in front of me. "Kim, honey, this isn't normal. This isn't healthy. You need to see that."
I meet her gaze, and for the first time in weeks, I feel a crack in the facade I've built around myself. "I... I don't know what to think anymore," I admit, my voice breaking.
Alexi's eyes soften, her hand reaching out to grasp mine. "Kim, I can get you help. We can call the police, or?—"
"No," I interrupt, yanking my hand away. My heart races, palms sweaty. "Don't tell anyone. Please."
She frowns, brow furrowing. "But Kim?—"
"I need to sort this out myself," I insist, voice quivering. I stand up, pacing the room, my fingers twisting the hem of my shirt. "You don't understand."
"Then help me understand," Alexi pleads, following me with her eyes.
I stop, staring out the window at Sam's manicured lawn. The check for two million flashes in my mind, along with Sam's words: You are free to leave.
I turn back to Alexi, chewing my lip. "He... he told me I could go. The other day."
Alexi's eyebrows shoot up. "And you stayed? Why?"
I shrug, struggling to articulate the storm of emotions inside me. "Maybe... maybe we can have a normal relationship now. Start over."
Alexi sighs, shaking her head. "Kim, there's nothing normal about this."
"I know, but maybe we can get there. I can come and go whenever I want. I think he'll be okay with that," I argue weakly.
She stands, approaching me slowly like I'm a spooked animal. "Fine. I can't force you. But if you need anything—anything at all—get in touch with me. I can always come by, okay?"
I nod, throat tight. "Okay."
Alexi hugs me, her embrace warm and familiar. As she pulls away, her eyes search mine. "Promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise," I whisper.
I watch her leave, the click of the door echoing in the suddenly empty room. The walls seem to close in, the air thick and suffocating. My chest tightens, breath coming in short gasps.
And it all starts to hit me. He broke me like he wanted. And I relented. I let him…
I need to get out. Now.