32. KIm
I lay in Sam's bed. It's huge, but it smells like him. And I know that maybe I should get up and give him his room back, but I don't want to.
So I don't.
The sheets are soft against my skin, a stark contrast to the turmoil in my mind. I've been so caught up in what I thought I should feel, what society would expect, what I thought was right , that I haven't allowed myself to truly examine my own emotions.
Mostly because I think this whole time I knew that they didn't line up with everything else I was thinking.
But I finally gave in. And I needed it. Sam knew I needed it, and he wrung the confusion from my body, replaced it with pleasure, and it helped clear my mind. Because how can I doubt what is between us after that ?
My fingers trace the edge of the pillow as I take a deep breath. For the first time in weeks, I let my mind go quiet. No more shoulds or shouldn'ts. Just me, here, now.
And in that silence, a realization washes over me. Nothing with Sam has ever felt wrong. Complicated, intense, overwhelming at times - yes. But wrong? No.
I think back to when he first brought me here. I was scared, angry even. But beneath that, there was always a sense of... safety. Sam may be intense, extremely possessive, but he's never truly hurt me.
He's protected me, cared for me in ways I didn't even know I needed. It's like he can see what I need even if I don't. And it's like he said, I need him. I need to be cared for for once, and maybe…losing my freedom and being forced away from the world for a little was exactly what I needed, too.
My eyes drift to the ring on the bed beside me. It glimmers in the soft light, a physical manifestation of Sam's declaration. Love. The word echoes in my mind, no longer as frightening as it once was.
I close my eyes, picturing Sam's face. The intensity in his gray eyes when he looks at me, the rare softness in his smile that seems reserved just for me. The way he holds me, like I'm precious and wild all at once.
A warmth spreads through my chest, and I can no longer deny the truth. I've fallen in love with him. It's not logical, it's not what anyone would expect, but it's real.
This infuriating, dangerous, possessive man that I should hate…I love.
The realization hits me like a freight train, stealing the air from my lungs. My fingers clutch the sheets, knuckles white as the truth sinks in.
I love Sam.
"Shit," I whisper, my voice barely audible. The word hangs in the air, heavy with implications.
My mind races, piecing together the puzzle of my own emotions. That gnawing regret when I left, the inexplicable urge to defend him to Alexi, the magnetic pull I feel towards him despite everything - it all makes sense now.
I sit up abruptly, my heart pounding. "No, no, no," I mutter, running my hands through my hair. "This can't be happening."
But it is. And now that I've acknowledged it, I can't un-know it. The feeling floods through me, equal parts terrifying and exhilarating.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed, needing to move, to do something. My eyes land on the ring, still sitting innocently where Sam left it. I pick it up, its weight substantial in my palm.
"Fuck," I breathe, turning the ring over in my fingers. "What am I supposed to do with this?"
I stand, suddenly needing to feel like I got my feet under me. Despite everything - the kidnapping, the threats, all of it - I can't stay away from him. I can't stop wanting him. And it scares the hell out of me because I think... No, I know.
I fell in love with the only person who saw me for me.
Sam didn't want me around to take care of him. I didn't hide my ugly parts from him. He is the only person who has seen all of me, and he demanded that I stay right here.
And I don't want to be anywhere else.
The realization courses through me like electricity, spurring me into action. I grab my dress off the floor and slip it on, not bothering with underwear. There's no time for that now.
"Shit, shit, shit," I mutter, fumbling with the zipper. My fingers are shaking, clumsy with urgency. I need to find Sam. Now.
I snatch up the ring from the bedside table, its weight solid and reassuring in my palm. For a moment, I just stare at it, marveling at what it represents. Choice. Love. A future I never dared to imagine.
I still can't believe he gave me the option. But I am glad he did. I needed to realize all of this for myself if it was going to work — really work — between us. He wants me to be his, to give up all my control for him, and I can do that. I just needed to decide that I want to.
"Time to go get my man," I whisper to myself, shaking off the momentary daze. I tuck the ring into the small pocket of my dress, patting it to make sure it's secure.
I rush to the mirror, running my fingers through my hair in a futile attempt to tame it. My reflection stares back at me - eyes wide, lips swollen, skin dewy. I look wild, almost feral with the need to find Sam.
"Where are you?" I wonder aloud, turning away from the mirror and heading for the door. My bare feet pad silently across the plush carpet as I step into the hallway.
The mansion is quiet. Too quiet. My pulse thrums in my ears as I move from room to room, each one frustratingly empty.
"Sam?" I call out, my voice echoing off the high ceilings. No response.
I pick up my pace, practically jogging now. The library, the gym, his office - all empty. With each vacant room, my anxiety ratchets up a notch. What if he left? What if he thought my silence meant rejection?
"No," I growl, refusing to entertain that thought. He has to be here. He wouldn't leave. Not now.
But still, anxiety starts to pound through me, my movements turning stiff and jerky.
I race through the house, my heart pounding in my chest. The ring in my pocket feels like it's burning against my skin, a constant reminder of what I'm running towards. Sam. My future. Our future.
"Sam!" I call out again, my voice echoing off the marble floors. Nothing.
I round a corner, nearly slipping in my haste. The kitchen. Empty. The living room. Vacant. Where the hell is he?
My breath comes in short gasps as I sprint down another hallway. The tension in my body coils tighter with each passing second. He has to be here somewhere. He wouldn't leave. Not now. Not when we're so close to...
A muffled thud breaks the silence, coming from somewhere ahead. I freeze, straining my ears. Was that...?
Another sound. Louder this time. My blood runs cold as I realize what it is.
Gunshots.
The world seems to tilt on its axis. Gunshots. At Sam's house. Where Sam is.
"Sam!" I scream, terror clawing at my throat. I take off running again, faster than I've ever moved in my life. My bare feet slap against the floor, the sound drowned out by the frantic beating of my heart.
More gunshots ring out, closer now. They're coming from behind the house. I skid to a stop outside the closed door, my hand hovering over the knob. What if...?
No. I can't think like that. I have to get to Sam.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever I might find on the other side. Just as I'm about to turn the knob, another shot cracks through the air, so close it makes my ears ring.
A scream builds in my throat, but I swallow it down. I can't lose it now. I have to find Sam. I have to know that he is okay.
With trembling fingers, I grasp the doorknob and twist.