Chapter Six
DAISY
Shocked.
That was the only reason I couldn’t move at first. He’d pressed himself against me, caging me in.
I couldn’t move and I wasn’t sure if I liked that idea or not.
The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine and everything around us disappeared.
We were the only two in the world, and it shattered everything.
All the peace I’d found for myself, gone. Every happy moment I’d found over the years, it didn’t matter. All the hurt and destruction I’d caused muddled its way around like a broken washing machine that beat itself against the wall. Everything felt damaged beyond repair.
I wasn’t okay.
Ethan Miller showed up like a bulldozer without warning, crumbling down the walls I’d carefully built with duct tape and sheer willpower. I’d hid every crack of the foundation with a glitter like distraction.
With one kiss, he’d shattered everything. His lips devoured mine like he could reach my soul with one kiss.
I couldn’t get out of that house fast enough, but I couldn’t exactly run out and make a scene.
Even though that was inevitably what I was doing.
I simply made an excuse and left, waving my hand in the air in my rush to leave.
So much for hanging out with the team and enjoying dinner, not that I could even think about food at a time like this.
Any hunger I might’ve had was gone. Vanished.
All I can think about is how his lips felt on mine.
How natural it felt, as if no time had passed between us.
The only thing that was built was the desire to want more.
It took everything not to melt into his embrace and latch on for dear life.
Alarm bells were going off in my head; there was no way it was that simple. Why would he do such a thing?
This thing between us was in the past. A weird habit that had weaseled its way through time to make me feel. It hit me out of nowhere. The idea was unsettling. This wasn’t right. Surely the man had too many drinks and confused me with someone else.
I’d seen the tabloids and social media posts. He’d moved on long ago. Ethan didn’t even do relationships, and sure as hell not with women like me. I wasn’t his type. His track record, according to what I’d seen online, were models and actresses with a certain look—and that look was nothing like me.
I’m sure there were some heavily edited and filtered photos there, but it wasn’t the same. Those women had beauty teams, personal trainers, and private chefs. With their designer clothes, flawless complexions, and flat stomachs.
Not me.
I wasn’t a model with glamorous beauty. Sure, I was pretty, but it was more the girl next door who didn’t turn down Taco Tuesday and margaritas.
I did my best not to compare myself to others, especially women I’d seen him pictured with, but I wasn’t his type.
Blondes with legs for days—not me. I was a short and curvy.
Curves I’d learned to love in sundresses.
Damn him for getting in my head.
No. Ethan Miller couldn’t just kiss me because he felt like it.
We weren’t like that, not in a long time.
Hell, we hadn’t even spoken in years. Whatever that was, it couldn’t happen again.
The idea of avoiding him came to mind, but that would be hard if he was truly back.
Not if I wanted to go to the usual home games with my family.
“Fucking hell.” I groan as I stomp over to my golf cart.
I slide into the seat and lean my head back, closing my eyes and wishing I could rewind time to before I arrived.
Dropping off the baked goods and leaving would have been better.
Admitted I was tired or made up some excuse so I couldn’t stay.
Then what? I would still eventually find out he was back.
And why the hell didn’t Andrew tell me? He could’ve fucking warned me.
“Asshole,” I mutter before reversing out from under the carport.
Talking to oneself is normal for an introvert. At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m busy in the kitchen. I continue to bitch about my cousin as I round the corner of my cousin’s house to go towards my own.
“Who?” A large body jumps into my golf cart.
I scream and slam on the brakes. “Get out!” I turn to see Ethan sitting next to me, a smirk on his face.
“Let’s talk.”
“Let’s not.” I keep my hands on the wheel and my foot on the brake. “Go away.”
“No. I interrupted and messed up your evening. Come back and eat dinner with the rest of us.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Then enjoy the company.”
“Present excluded?” I keep my eyes forward. I don’t want to look at him, because if I do—well, I’m not ready for that level of honesty.
Ethan is already taking up too much head space. He’s not supposed to take up any. What we had is in the past. It’s where he was supposed to stay, a memory buried deep. I don’t want to think about it. It’s not as if I can blame him, either.
Was he my kryptonite? No, that wasn’t right either. He wasn’t my weakness. Ethan mesmerized me when I was a young girl. Maybe infatuation?
Well, whatever the hell it was then—or now—I don’t like it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
He chuckles and slides closer, his arm moving to rest on the back of the seat behind me. “Please.”
With a sigh, I drive the golf cart back around and under the carport. I am not doing this for him. I tell myself. My goal is to enjoy dinner and have a few laughs with the team. It was my normal.
“Good girl,” he whispers softly before sliding away and off the seat.
What? Did he just? I whip my head around. “Excuse me?” He smirks with a stupid twinkle in his eye. “I’m not a dog or a pet.”
He raises his hands in the air. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think it’s better if you just don’t talk to me.” As I hurry past him, I can’t resist rolling my eyes, eager to distance myself from him before running inside. Why? No other reason than to get in there and occupy myself, so I stop thinking of him.
It could work. Maybe. Probably not, but by golly was I going to try.
“Everything good?” I’m barely walking back into the kitchen when Andrew approaches.
I narrow my eyes at him. Surely, my cousin realizes he fucked up.
He didn’t tell me Ethan was back. I’m also not ready to talk about it.
Saying yes, would be a lie. I don’t know how I feel.
If I can get through the next hour or two, things will be better.
I need time to process. For now, I’ll just pretend Ethan isn’t here or that it’s not as big of a deal as it feels.
It’s the perfect plan—pretend he’s just one of the guys, another member of the team. Ethan Miller means absolutely nothing. It’s not as if he was my first crush or first love… first everything. I swallow and glance at him.
He smirks.
Damn it.
Andrew walks out the back door and I follow him. I keep my smile soft until we’re alone and I can give him a piece of my mind.
“I need a word with you.” I glance around to double check that nobody is around us.
“What’s up?” He flips the burgers, then turns around to face me.
“Why didn’t you tell me Ethan got traded?”
“I was legally obligated to keep the secret up until recently.” Andrew shrugs.
I punch him in the shoulder. “Asshole! I don’t care if you knew for one hour or one month, you should’ve told me.”
His eyebrows rise. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t.” The lie comes easily.
Andrew’s eyes narrow. “Interesting.” He tries to bite back his smile.
“You never told him the truth, right?” I sigh.
Andrew looks taken aback. “Of course not; we’re family. Daisy, it was a rough time for everyone. You didn’t have to go through it alone.”
“Yes, I did. He was too good. You know as well as I do he would’ve come back to be there for me, for the family. He would’ve put school and hockey on the back burner.”
“I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.” Andrew argues.
“I did what I thought was best.” I cross my arms.
Andrew sighs and shakes his head. “Daisy, I didn’t tell you then because you were already going through a lot, but I think you made a mistake. I’ve seen the guy play hockey, played with him at the start. He was always going to find a way to keep playing.”
“Do you think it’s too late?” It’s a stupid thought. I’ve moved on. He clearly has too, not that I’m even entertaining the thought. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. The past. That’s where it’s going to stay.”
“If you say so,” Andrew laughs and turns his back to me.
Now, I really want to go back home. Maybe if I drown myself in a bottle of wine.
I don’t necessarily want to be around Ethan or my cousin right now.
Thankfully, there are a dozen others inside the house.
I wouldn’t normally use them as a distraction, but I brought food that they’ve already been devouring.
I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly, attempting to steady my nerves. I just need to keep my wits about me.
Easier said than done.