Chapter Ten
DAISY
Ican only imagine the rush the team is feeling right now.
Probably cheering each other on in the locker room while sitting around and taking their time before taking off the heavy pads.
The Bobcats won three to two in the last minute.
I was starting to think we were going to end up going into overtime; it was a close one.
Whiskers, the mascot, walks across the ice with the Lonestar Bobcats flag waved high as the crowd leaves the stand. The jersey the mascot wears is the same as the team wears at home games, unless there’s a special event. I’ve seen themed jerseys worn by the team, mascot, and the ice girls.
My eyes flicker over to the stage at the opposite end of where the players come and go. The blue, white, and pink lights light up the stage as the ice girls finish up their last victory cheer.
I once threatened Andrew I was going to join the ice girls. He immediately called my bluff when he asked if I was really going to be able to learn the dance moves and start doing cardio. We both knew I wasn’t. I’m not the type to workout, outside of helping out at the ranch.
My family takes their time leaving the rink, not that we’re the only ones. I’ve noticed some of the same faces, the season pass holders, linger before walking to their vehicles. I can’t blame them, it’s a lot of people and vehicles leaving at once.
After assuring my family I’ll see them at home, I make my way over to the employee’s only hall.
This is probably a stupid idea. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve hung back after a home game, though.
When you’re related to one of the players and live locally, some employees get to know you.
Especially since my family comes to every home game possible, and I never miss one unless I’m sick.
The media is gathering around the corner. A podium is being mic’d up and set up by the media team in front of the backdrop that remains up. Fabric stretches across a stand and displays the team’s logo in a repeated pattern.
After the results of the game, I’m sure they’re going to have Jude and Connor hurrying to get out here. The team captain almost always is included in the post game interviews, they switch out the other players depending on how the game went.
I smile and nod to one of the guy’s blocking the path as he steps to the side to let me pass. It gets quiet the farther down the hall I travel. Once I get halfway down to where the door to the locker room and coach’s office are, I lean up against the wall and wait.
If I were a random girl, I’d be on the other side of the door, outside. No doubt about it, after that game, there would be a crowd of puck bunnies on the other side. This wasn’t like that, though. I want to congratulate the guys and then catch a ride home with my cousin.
I did this sometimes, but I’ve never felt nervous about it before.
It takes a while for the players to slowly begin trickling out.
Most of them smile or hug me as they pass, like an extra little sister they didn’t ask for.
I enjoy knowing they’re like an extended part of the family.
Every one of them have been out to the ranch numerous times.
They’ve eaten at Andrew’s house and our grandparents.
“Hey, waiting for me?” Andrew smiles as he approaches.
Ethan is walking out with him and it takes more than I care to admit not to focus on him. To notice the smirk on his face. I glance between the two then refocus on my cousin.
I hesitate. “Yeah, I was hoping for a ride back to the property. I don’t want to hear Grandpa and your dad discuss sheep prices again.”
Now, sure, I could’ve driven myself. It’s only an hour from the ranch. We’re all going to the same place, though. It made more sense to ride together, most of the time.
I step up next to the pair of them, walking alongside them down the hall. We turn the corner to head outside.
Andrew laughs. “I was going to grab a drink with a couple of the guys first. You know you’re always welcome to join us, though. If you don’t mind hanging out for a couple of hours. I’m kind of wired after that game.”
“Oh.” I nod. “Sure.”
“I’ll take you home if you want.” Ethan speaks up. “I’m not in the mood to go out at the moment.”
My heart pounds in my chest at the offer, he can’t be serious. “I don’t want you to go out of your way.” I shake my head. His uncle’s house isn’t far from the ranch, but he would have to drive past it to get to the ranch, by the smallest bit.
Ethan chuckles. “Driving back to Sage Creek takes almost an hour, and it’s not out of the way. As long as you don’t hog the radio with your girly pop music.” He teases.
“What do you want to do?” Andrew questions as we step outside. “Up to you.”
I should go with my cousin, that’s the safe choice. I can hang with the team for a while and grab a few beers. That’s a lie. I don’t drink beer; it tastes like piss. I could have a drink and convince them to get food. They’re always hungry after a game anyway.
“That could work.” It’s settled. I’ll hangout with the guys for awhile before going home. “A ride home would be ice.” The words are coming out of my mouth before I can stop them. Shit. “Food, though.”
Seriously? Where did I learn how to talk?
Ethan smiles. “I’m starving. We can grab some tacos on the way.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” What is wrong with me? A chill snakes down my spine. “I love tacos.” I swallow knowing the red is creeping across my chest and up my neck.
“I remember.” Ethan gestures toward his truck and we part ways from Andrew.
“You kids stay out to trouble. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I hear Bennett shout across the parking lot as Ethan leads the way with his hand on my lower back.
I glance back at the guys. “You need to say that to yourself.” They’re all laughing as they pile into fewer vehicles than they arrived in. It’s only because Andrew is with them I know they won’t get into too much trouble.
Ethan opens the door and I hold my breath as he helps me climb up and into his truck. After he closes the door, I exhale and focus on steadying my breathing. The seconds it takes him to get to the driver’s side seem to stretch and only make me more nervous.
This is no big deal. I’m just sitting in my ex’s truck. He’s just giving me a ride home. This doesn’t mean anything. He’s just being friendly.
He climbs into his seat and starts up the truck.
The radio is turned on low and I consider turning it up so there’s less awkward silence.
We make our way out of the parking lot and onto the highway before he turns the music up, just a little.
If it weren’t for the country music playing, this was mostly definitely be the most awkward moment of my life.
This is nerve-wracking, but I don’t know how to talk to him anymore.
It takes me back to the first couple of times I tried talking to him as a teenager once I realized I was crushing on him.
Before, we were friends; it was easy. He was over often enough, being Andrew’s best friend.
Then it all changed. It was awkward. I was awkward—and I hadn’t changed that much.
He was supposed to be my forever. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind, we were destined.
I believed in fairytales and knew he was mine, at the time.
Then, my dad got sick. I knew I needed to focus on family first. I had to step up and be there for my mom.
My mom pretended like she was fine, but I could see it, the hurt.
The problem is that Ethan would’ve understood. It’s why I broke things off. It’s why I lied and pushed him away. He would’ve given up everything because that’s the type of person he is. I couldn’t let him give up on his dreams for me.
He was supposed to stay away. I never expected him to come back.
As if the idea of him being traded to the same team as Andrew, let alone our local one, wasn’t even a possibility.
I was an idiot. Now, all I can question is if I made the right choice.
I thought I was being selfless. Putting him first. Now, I don’t know how to act around him.
I’m pissed he’s here and even more upset that the time apart did nothing to hide the What If questions that still enter my mind.
He doesn’t know the truth, and that’s on me.
It’s too late for it now. Too much time has passed.
What do we even talk about? Hockey? The other day—it was such a surprise. I was infuriated and confused. My cousin didn’t even tell me, he could’ve warned me. It’s not as if the trade happened overnight. Those things take time. Ethan had clearly already had a practice with him.
I don’t blame the rest of the team. It’s not like they’re from here. They don’t know the history. How we went from friends to something that felt huge practically overnight. I don’t even know when it switched. It happened naturally. As if we were always meant to end up together.
But that was then.
The summer before my sophomore year, before his senior year, that was the summer everything changed.
We were just friends, and he was giving me a ride back to the ranch after the Starlight Festival in town.
My cousins and I met up with friends, but everyone paired off, leaving me alone.
Ethan and I joked about it, how everyone had coupled up and how we were the only two left.
We should see what it would be like. The teasing turned into flirting, and then the moment happened. It was like something out of a movie.
He’d come to the end of the road, stopped at the stop sign and waited for cars to pass when he looked over at me in the passenger seat.
He leaned in. So, I couldn’t help but do the same.
When his fingers gently grasped my chin and lifted my lips to his, I knew it was over.
That was a first kiss you remember. A kiss you tell your children and grandchildren about.
It wasn’t just the start of a new chapter, it was the start of an epic romance built from friendship.
It’s why I couldn’t risk it. He would’ve given everything up and I couldn’t risk the thought that he might grow to resent me for it. It’s why I had to take the coward’s way out, even if he hated me. I never could’ve ended things in person with him, not when he was the love of my life.
Everything happened over the phone. A text saying we needed to talk so I could get it all out.
I didn’t prepare a grand speech. I kept it simple.
The lie that I’d met someone else while he was in college.
I didn’t have to see the hurt on his face because it was a phone call.
He didn’t argue, but I could tell he was confused.
I held it together until the moment I ended the call.
I didn’t even give him a chance to argue before I did that, and then I broke.
“Alright,” he breaks the silence.
My eyes refocus on the road as we take the exit. The Taco Shack was open late and had become a regular part of the routine for many of us after late nights of watching hockey or coming back from a night in the city.
He turns into the drive thru line and orders for both of us. I don’t bother correcting him. I’ve been ordering the same thing from this place for as long as I can remember.
“Glad to know some things haven’t changed.” He glances over at me and smiles before pulling out his wallet to pay.
“Oh, let me.” I reach down to grab my purse.
“I’ve got it.” He smirks and hands the guy at the window his card.
Ethan thanks the guy as he passes the bag to me and we pull away from the window. The bag of food rests in my lap and we continue on in silence the rest of the way to the ranch.
We could eat on the way back. That would keep us busy. The silence drags on. The music is too low. It feels awkward, it’s driving me crazy.