Chapter Seventeen
ETHAN
It doesn’t surprise me when I wake up before her. Daisy was exhausted and needed the rest. After slipping quietly from the bed, I pull on some sweatpants from my bag and make my way downstairs to the kitchen.
I may not be as good of a cook as her, but I can still throw down in the kitchen. I can handle breakfast. The idea of cooking for her when I know she’s the one who does most of the cooking, fills me with joy. I would never turn down a meal from her, but I also want to provide.
My eyes scan the cabinets until I find everything I’m looking for and put it next to the bacon and eggs on the counter.
I go to work, standing over the stove. French toast and bacon are my specialty, because it is easy and delicious.
I’m above making something else; I just want to hurry and get back to her.
I don’t like the idea of her waking up and thinking I’ve left. Not after our breakthrough last night.
Last night was a turning point in our relationship. I know the fight isn’t over. She is going to attempt to push me away again, and I know we could cross that bridge when we come to it.
After cooking, I quickly wash the pans and place them on the drying rack. Then I arrange breakfast on the plates and search for a tray. I want to find something to carry it all upstairs.
A throat clearing has my eyes jumping up to see Daisy leaning against the doorframe. Her hair looks a little wild, but it puts a smile on my face. My eyes take her in and my smile grows. She’s wearing my shirt.
“You made me breakfast?” She fidgets with the chain around her neck. “It smells incredible.”
“Where do you want to eat? I was going to bring it upstairs. I was just looking for a tray.”
“I’d like that. I’ll show you.” She walks over to another cabinet and opens it, and I notice several types of trays and cutting boards. “Can I help with something?”
“Yes, you can let me walk behind you up the stairs so I can stare at your gorgeous legs and ass on the way back up.” I walk over to her and place a kiss on her head. “Good morning, baby.”
Daisy laughs. “Good morning. Now, seriously?”
“I’m serious.” I grab one tray, take it to the island, and place the plates on it. “Please.” I glance up at her for a moment before grabbing a couple of bottles of water and placing them on the tray with the glasses of orange juice.
She rolls her eyes and walks out of the room.
I laugh. I thought it was a good idea. I pick up the tray and walk out of the kitchen and around the corner to find her waiting near the bottom of the stairs for me.
“Happy to help.” She smiles before turning and walking up the steps.
She put an extra sway in her steps and I fucking growl. I follow behind her at just enough of a distance to watch her. My eyes glued to her backside as we ascend. This woman.
Mine.
Daisy props up the pillows and situates the blankets before I put the tray down.
“Thank you for making breakfast.” She grabs a piece of the bacon.
“I can handle breakfast.”
“Good to know.” She goes quiet. “We need to talk.”
It feels like ice is thrown on me. “Think carefully about the next words that come out of your mouth,” I warn.
Her eyes grow. “Not like that.” She shakes her head. “I mean, I want to talk and let it all out.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Honesty?”
She nods. “No more secrets.”
“I’d like that, very much.” I give a gentle squeeze to her thigh. “First, how are you feeling?”
Maybe this will be another turning point for us. Honesty. After the last seven years, I crave the connection I know we’re capable of having. It’s going to take work—on both of our parts. I’m willing to do whatever is necessary and I hope she knows it.
We may not be there yet, but one day I’m going to tie her to me in every way possible. I’m determined to have her unable to live without me, because I can’t go back to not having her in my life. I fucking need her.
“Lighter.” She chuckles.
“And my ass?” I smirk.
“How would I know what your ass feels like?”
“Daisy.”
“A little sore,” she admits.
I nod and quickly go and grab more pain killers from her bathroom and bring them back to her.
“Thank you.” She takes them with her orange juice. “This is weird.”
“What is?”
She sighs. “I feel like I should be more concerned with the fact that you spanked me. Why did you—like—what made you think to do that?”
“An old buddy of mine is in a non-traditional type of relationship with his wife. We’ve talked about a few things, because I’m curious and he explained things and even recommended a couple of books.
Then we talked about it even more with a few others.
” I pause before continuing. “Have you ever heard of a dominant/submissive relationship?”
Her eyes grow and she looks away. “Um… in a few romance books.”
“Daisy, look at me.”
“I’ve never had that type of relationship with anyone, but it’s something I’ve enjoyed reading about, to learn more.
” I can’t admit to her how much I need it, not right now.
I don’t want to scare her away. Remembering last night, how I took care of her, she needs it too.
It’s just another reason we’re fucking perfect for one another.
“Talking about it with him and others that are in those types of relationships, it helped me understand a few things about myself.”
“Like what?”
“Eat more and I’ll tell you.” I smile and wait.
She doesn’t waste any time cutting up her breakfast and taking a bite.
“Good girl.” Her eyes stay on me as she takes bite after bite.
“I like the idea of taking care of someone. It’s more than wanting to be in charge.
” I’m careful with how I word the next part.
Again, not wanting to let her shrink away from me.
“The idea that someone would trust me so completely. That’s a lot.
I think a relationship is built on that, where both people trust the other to take care of each other in different ways.
” When she smiles and doesn’t tense, I continue.
“I know it’s a lot, but it also seems simple. It would take the perfect woman.”
Her eyes move down to her plate, and she hesitates. Clearly starting to question things, and I can’t let her backtrack.
I rest my hand on her thigh. “I’d dream about her face, what she would look like.” She twists the necklace at her neck, tugging on it. “It was always your face I saw. Every. Fucking. Time.”
Her lips part with a gasp as she quickly looks up. Blue eyes staring up at me softly.
“Your turn to talk. Remember, we’re being honest here.” I give another squeeze to her leg, then busy myself with the plate of food.
She takes another bite of her French toast and I watch the expressions on her face change as she thinks over what she wants to say. Daisy can tell me anything, as long as it’s the truth.
“You were right last night. I pushed you away because I knew you would’ve been there for me.
” She pauses and stares at the plate. “I’m full.
Thank you for making breakfast.” I nod and she continues.
“You weren’t just my boyfriend, you were my best friend.
I knew you would’ve dropped everything. You would’ve given it all up, because that’s who you are.
I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t live with myself knowing you’d give up that dream.
Then I got scared. I worried that if I didn’t end things, and you gave it all up that you would later come to resent me for it.
So, I made the decision to end things. I had to do it before we got in too deep. ”
“We were already in deep,” I argue between bites.
“I realize that now, Ethan.” Her shoulders drop. “Seventeen-year-old me couldn’t, though. She was too scared of building a life and then it shattering when it was too late.”
“You still should’ve been honest with me back then.”
“We both know I couldn’t. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I don’t regret my decision. Look at where you are now! You’re playing professional hockey. It’s just like you always wanted.” Her voice rises.
“I’d have given it up.” I groan. “I would’ve found something else to do with my life. Is hockey all you think I cared about?”
“Of course not.” Her eyes close, and she rubs her forehead. “But exactly, you would have given it up. Without a second thought and I’m sorry, but I loved you too much to allow it,” she admits as her eyes open.
“Loved?” I tease. We never told each other those words; we sure showed it though. “Only past tense?”
“We’ll see where things go. What did you tell my cousin yesterday? We’re taking things slow?” She laughs.
“Yeah, baby. We’ll go at any pace you want.”
“What if I want to go faster?” She swallows.
“We’ll go at any pace you need,” I correct.
Her lips press together and her eyes narrow. “That doesn’t sound like the same answer.”
“You going to let me take care of you like we both need?”
“I can’t promise I won’t argue.” Her lips press together in a half-smile.
I laugh. “I would expect nothing less.”
“I can’t promise I won’t be a brat sometimes.” She tucks her hair behind her ear.
I raise a brow. “Yeah, you want to push some of those buttons?”
Her smile grows. “Maybe.”
“There’s no one else, Daisy. I’m all in with you and I expect the same.”
She rolls her eyes. “There hasn’t ever been anyone else, not really.”
“Nobody?” I’m surprised, but fucking ecstatic. She knew who she belonged to.
“Nobody could compare, and I wasn’t going to settle.”
I nod. “Good.”
“Now, about this dominant and submissive thing. Is that an all the time type of thing?”
I’m glad she’s asking questions. “Not necessarily. I’m going to step in and take care of you when I know you need it. Even if you don’t like it.”
“I didn’t, at first. There was one point—” she stops and shakes her head.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Daisy.”
“It also made me a little horny, and that just seems weird. Like, what’s wrong with me for thinking I enjoyed it for multiple reasons?”
I give her hand a squeeze. “Nothing, you’re perfect.”
“Nobody is perfect.”
“You’re perfect for me.” I wait for her to argue, but thankfully, she doesn’t. “I know you got a little worked up. I could tell, but it wasn’t about that, not in that moment. It can be a sexual thing, but last night it wasn’t about that.”
“But sometimes?”
“If you want to explore that, yeah. We can try as much or as little as you want. I wasn’t going to bring it up today, but there will be days or times where I will. All I ask for is your honesty and trust.”
“You have it.” Her eyes stay on mine.
“Now. About the game this weekend. I need you to stop wearing the jersey with your cousin’s name on it and start wearing mine. There’s one in my bag I brought for you. Please.”
Daisy laughs. “Oh, I saw it when I was grabbing this shirt.” She tugs on the sleeve of the one she’s wearing. “I already hung it up in my closet.”
“Yeah?”
“Maybe if you’re a good boy, I’ll put it on for you with nothing else,” she teases.
I groan at the thought of her in just that, ignoring the good boy comment… for now.