Chapter Twenty-Two
DAISY
He’s barely inside of me when we’re rolled over. I push myself up and roll my hips. My finger digging into his chest as I ride him. His hands are on my hips as I move. One of his hands move between us and plays with my clit and I feel myself let go.
Ethan rolls us over again, and he keeps going until I’m panting once again, desperate for him. He pulls out and throws me over so fast my head grows light.
“Whoa.” I lift up on to my elbows as he raises my hips and presses in again. “Fuck.”
This angle is new, and he’s hitting a spot even deeper than before.
“You take me so well,” he groans from behind me, picking up the pace again.
I squeeze the blankets beneath me, desperate to hold on to something so I don’t float away.
He reaches around me and plays with my clit again.
It’s too sensitive, but I feel nervous admitting that out loud.
I don’t want him to stop, not when it feels too good.
He brings another climax out of me, and I feel the moment he lets go.
His hand moves back to my hip, opposite the other. I expect him to pull out immediately, but he keeps his dick in me as it softens and doesn’t pull out until the end. Then I feel his fingers down there, pressing himself back inside. Again.
“Why do you keep doing that?” I moan at the feeling of him.
His thumb brushes across and presses my clit while his fingers move inside of me. “Keeping me inside of you,” he whispers. It’s so soft I almost question if I heard him correctly.
“I’m not on birth control.” I look up at him over my shoulder. I watch him pull his finger out then line his cock back up. He’s hard again?
He pushes himself in slowly. “Good.” He pulls back and thrusts back in.
“What?” I try to think logically but then his pace picks up again, and he’s distracting me with his fingers until all I can focus on is our bodies together and how good it feels.
My head grows light once again and everything goes out of focus as he brings another climax out of me.
Warmth. That’s all I feel. It takes a moment for reality to sync in around me. My body feels like it’s not mine. As if I’m floating, yet I still feel. I giggle involuntarily.
“There you are, pretty girl.” Ethan’s voice calls to me and my eyes focus on his. His green eyes seem softer than usual. The little gold freckling in them draws me in like stars.
He’s got me wrapped up in his arms.
“What?” I feel so relaxed in his arms. I shift slightly and wince at the tenderness between my legs.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you at the end. We’re going to take it a little easy.” His brows push together and leans back. “I’ll be right back.” He slides off the bed.
I watch him walk to my bathroom, hear the water run, then he returns with a washcloth. He slides onto the bed, pulling me into his lap, then presses the washcloth to me. It feels warm and relaxing. I snuggle into him.
“You taking care of me? This is nice.” I practically nuzzle into his chest, but my eyes stay on his handsome face.
He smiles. “It’s my pleasure.”
Part of me knows it’s the relationship dynamic we’ve entered. There are so many parts to it I still don’t quite understand, but I feel safe. Loved.
“I love him.”
His smile grows.
“Did I say that out loud?”
“I love you too, Daisy.”
I smile and close my eyes.
I wake up to find myself curled on my side, arm and leg draped across him. He’s scrolling on his phone. When he notices I’m awake, he puts his phone down and focuses on me.
The events of the evening replay in my head. It feels like a fog. Looking back on it, I’d lost track of how many orgasms he brought out of me.
I quickly sit up. “Are you trying to get me pregnant?” I don’t know if I’m more nervous or scared of the answer.
Would it be so bad? No, I once dreamed of the family we would build. Together. That was a long time ago, though. I’ve changed—we both have. He’s back now, but what if he gets traded again? What if he changes his mind? What if he comes to resent me?
“I’m not trying to prevent it. Would that be so bad?” He sits up and leans closer.
I pull myself back and away from him. No, it wouldn’t be bad—unless. I shake my head. “It feels like you were trying to decide something without me.” I know it sounds ridiculous the second the words come out of me. It s like when I made a decision for us when my dad was sick.
Realistically, I knew what’s happening. I’m equally at fault if we get pregnant. We weren’t using protection, neither one of us. At the time, I didn’t care. So, why do I care so much now?
“I want you to be mine.” His hand finds mine and gives it a little squeeze.
“I am.”
“Forever.” The corner of his lip lifts into a smirk.
The look that normally makes my heart skip a beat. Except for the few times, such as now, when it just makes me angry. I shake my head and pull back, moving off of the bed.
“Babies don’t guarantee that.” I start to pace.
“I want everything with you, Daisy.”
I stop and face him. “I feel like I was tricked. Is it possible to be orgasm-drunk? Is that a thing?” I rub at my temples.
“You don’t want this?” He throws the covers back and moves fast to stand in front of me.
“I didn’t say that,” I argue.
“Then talk to me.” His hands move to pull me closer, but I take a step back. “Fuck.” His hand raises, and he runs it through his dark hair.
“Honesty, right? Then you need to talk to me too.” How did we get to this moment?
“I’ve been trying to do that since the moment I saw you in your cousin’s kitchen.” His voice raises, and he takes a step towards me.
No. “I want you to leave.” I cross my arms.
Ethan laughs and a smile crosses his face. It looks slightly deranged. “No, you don’t.”
“Don’t tell me what I want.” I take a step back. “Get out!”
“No.” He stalks forward, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Leave.” Does he not understand the word coming out of me? “Honesty, right? Then leave! Go away!” I feel my voice break, but I refuse to show those emotions. How does he do this? He needs to leave. I want to go back to the numbness. At least I thought I was happy before.
Ethan prowls toward me, as though he knows what I’m fighting against. I’m not ready to admit it to myself, let alone out loud. I continue to back up until my back hits the wall. He closes the distance between us.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He cages me in.
My heart races. Not only with desire, but with the paralyzing fear for all the things that could go wrong.
“I can’t do this,” I admit, and look away.
His hand moves to my shoulder, brushing softly up my neck until I’m forced to look at him. His grip on me is firm, yet gentle.
“I can’t.” My eyes focus on his as he holds me still.
His eyes soften, but his hand doesn’t. “Honesty, remember?”
I swallow against his grip. “We’re in this together.
It takes two people to make a baby, and neither one of us were worried about protection.
You want to be with me so much you’d rather find a way for me to be stuck with you.
That idea scares you because it’s just one more way I can break your heart.
Trust me when I say that is the last fucking thing I will ever do.
” His nostrils flare. “I’m not going anywhere and you will not push me away again. Never.”
“No,” the lie slips from my lips like a cry.
“Yeah, baby.”
“I can’t.” My eyes close as tears threaten to leak out.
“I love you, Daisy. I’m never giving you up.
” His lips press to mine. He pulls back.
“Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me you don’t want this.
Otherwise, we’re making a baby or we keep practicing for that day.
” I shake my head. “Yeah, baby. I’m going to marry you.
” I continue to shake my head. “I’m going to tie you to me in every fucking way possible until you can’t leave without dragging me with you. ”
“Why?”
“Because I fucking love you. You’re my everything.
” His eyes burn into mine. “I couldn’t walk away from you if I wanted to.
You think you can push me away, but you’re my fucking oxygen.
So no, Daisy, you don’t get to try and push me away or get me to leave.
We’re twin flames from the same wick.” His forehead rests on mine.
My chest tightens with panic. He’s holding me still and I’m unable to do anything but cry. Every part of me wants to believe him and scream yes to all of it. I want to jump first.
“I never believed in fate or destiny. Daisy, it was all bullshit for fantasy stories, make believe. But you—you make it un-fucking-deniable. Every cell in my body knows it.” I can feel the tremor in his breath.
His face is close to mine. “This isn’t just love.
Our hearts have always known. This isn’t like before.
We were too young to understand. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for you to push me away before, to end things.
I know you feel it now, the pull. This is soul-deep. ”
I feel like I’ve been pulled into one of the stories I watch or read about. A love like this—it doesn’t seem real. It feels like a dream. His eyes pierce mine, keeping me hostage. He’s right about everything. It feels suffocating to admit it. I take a shaky breath.
“I need you to never let me go. I’m going to be a pain in the ass and fight you, but I need you to not let me.”
“Baby.” The tension drops from his shoulders, his body goes slack. “I can fucking promise you.”
“I need you.” It’s the truth that he asked for. I need him more than even makes sense.
“I’ve got you.” He pulls me away from the wall, crushing me to him in a hug. He nuzzles my neck before lifting me up. I wrap myself around him.
It’s terrifying to admit how much I need him. This is the point of no return. I will not be able to exist without him after this. I don’t want to fight it, but I need him to be strong enough because I’m not.